I have very small, no earlobes.

我的耳垂很小，沒有耳垂。

You're a tough guy.

你是個硬漢

You have such sweet little ears.

你的小耳朵真可愛

No earlobes.

沒有耳垂

I know.

我知道

I break all the movie star rules.

我打破了電影明星的所有規則。

You stole them from an action figure or something.

你是從動作人偶什麼的身上偷來的。

Hello there.

你們好

Hi.

你好。

This is Ryan Reynolds.

這是瑞安-雷諾茲。

This is Hugh Jackman, right?

這是休-傑克曼吧？

Yeah.

是啊

The real one.

真正的

Oh, that's awesome.

太棒了

You remembered.

你還記得

Yeah.

是啊

That's fantastic.

太棒了

Well, they wrote it right there.

好吧，他們就寫在這裡。

Oh.

哦。

Phonetically.

音譯。

Right.

對

That's nice.

真不錯

Yeah.

是啊

We're here to recap all the bad words.

我們在這裡總結所有的壞話。

Fights.

戰鬥。

Fourth wall breaks.

第四面牆被打破

In the first two Deadpool movies ahead of the third film.

在第三部電影之前的前兩部《死侍》中。

All right.

好的

So, a good place to start is actually not a Deadpool movie.

所以，《死侍》其實不是一個好的開始。

I think a great place to start is X-Men Origins Wolverine.

我認為《X 戰警：金剛狼起源》是一個很好的開始。

What do you think, Ryan?

你覺得呢，萊恩？

Don't do it, Hugh.

別這樣 休

I'm just saying.

我只是說說而已。

It's technically the beginning of our on-screen relationship, and yeah, we don't like to talk about this one too much.

嚴格來說，這是我們銀幕關係的開端，是的，我們不喜歡談論太多。

No, I do.

不，我願意。

Logan deals with finding love, losing love, getting an adamantium, no, no, it's not that way.

洛根要處理尋找愛情、失去愛情、獲得金剛不壞之身的問題，不，不，不是那樣的。

A skeleton.

一個骨架

Sorry.

對不起。

An adamantium skeleton is surgically grafted to his whole body.

金剛骨架通過手術移植到了他的全身。

Painful.

痛苦

He goes on a journey of vengeance, I believe, but also self-discovery.

我相信，他踏上了復仇之旅，同時也是自我發現之旅。

Right.

對

And then there's this asshole, Wade, running his mouth until it's completely sewn shut.

然後就是這個混蛋韋德，他的嘴一直說到完全縫合為止。

The Stryker finally figured out how to shut you up.

史崔克終於知道怎麼讓你閉嘴了。

Well, yeah, that was fun.

嗯，是的，很有趣。

That was a really smart move that he had nothing to do with.

這是一個非常聰明的舉動，與他毫無關係。

Well, we work together quite a bit, or for a bit at least, in the movie as mercenaries, but then Wade, he gets turned against Logan by the villain William Stryker.

我們在電影中作為僱傭兵合作過一段時間，但後來韋德被大反派威廉-史崔克策反了。

Is that who?

是誰？

That's right.

這就對了。

Logan kills Wade, or so he thinks, and he goes on to have various adventures with the

洛根殺死了韋德，或者說他自己是這麼認為的。

X-Men.

X戰警

2016.

2016.

2016.

2016.

Yeah, it's his first solo movie.

是的，這是他的第一部個人電影。

Wade Wilson is a street-level, muscle-for-hire kind of mercenary.

韋德-威爾遜（Wade Wilson）是一個街頭僱傭兵，以肌肉為生。

Cockshot!

雞雞射擊

Falls in love with Vanessa, a prostitute.

愛上了妓女 Vanessa。

Easy.

簡單。

Wade gets cancer.

韋德得了癌症

You're clowning.

你在開玩笑

You're not clowning.

你不是在開玩笑

I sense clowns.

我感覺到了小丑。

People react to news of late-stage cancer differently.

人們對癌症晚期消息的反應各不相同。

And is offered treatment in a lab run by an artificial mutant named Ajax.

在一個名叫阿賈克斯的人造變種人經營的實驗室裡，他得到了治療。

Ajax subjects Wade to experiments that cure his cancer and give him powers of regeneration and acute reflexes, but leave him seriously disfigured.

阿賈克斯對韋德進行了實驗，治癒了他的癌症，並賦予他再生能力和敏銳的反應能力，但卻讓他嚴重毀容。

Did I say this was a love story?

我說過這是一個愛情故事嗎？

No.

不

It's a horror movie.

這是一部恐怖電影。

And hours in makeup.

還要花幾個小時化妝。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

That was a terrible choice at the time, I realize now.

我現在才意識到，當時的選擇太糟糕了。

Damn it.

該死的

Yeah, Wade...

是啊，韋德...

It'd just be one scar.

這只是一道傷疤。

Yes, right?

是的，對嗎？

A bad one.

很糟糕

We can't just CGI this.

我們不能只用 CGI 來做這個。

So Wade escapes.

於是韋德逃走了。

He escapes the lab, and he goes on this revenge mission to track down Ajax.

他逃出了實驗室，開始了追捕阿賈克斯的復仇之旅。

Now, Vanessa thinks he's dead, and he doesn't want her to know how f***ed up he looks for fear of rejection.

現在，瓦妮莎認為他已經死了，他不想讓她知道他有多狼狽，因為害怕被拒絕。

Yeah, he's ashamed.

是的，他感到羞愧。

He feels a lot of shame.

他感到非常羞愧。

He's in a highly militarized shame spiral.

他陷入了高度軍事化的恥辱漩渦。

Wade then crosses paths with Colossus, the Negasonic Teenage Warhead, one of the greatest comic book names ever, ever, ever invented.

韋德隨後與 "巨像"（Colossus）、"黑松鼠少年彈頭"（Negasonic Teenage Warhead）產生了交集，後者是有史以來最偉大的漫畫名字之一。

And they're members of the X-Men, and they try to curb his more violent tendencies, which is easier said than done.

他們是 X 戰警的成員，試圖抑制他的暴力傾向，但說起來容易做起來難。

And they are part of the X-Men, but they are the, as I understood it at the time, the affordable ones.

他們也是《X 戰警》的一員，但據我當時的理解，他們是負擔得起的人。

And the other affordable ones that we made.

還有我們製作的其他廉價產品。

We made lots of affordable ones.

我們製作了很多經濟實惠的產品。

Yes, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

Like Blind Al.

就像盲人艾爾

Love Blind Al.

我愛盲人艾爾

Wade's foul-mouthed blind roommate.

韋德的盲人室友，滿嘴髒話。

And Dopinder, a friendly taxi driver.

還有友好的計程車司機 Dopinder。

Love Dopinder, too.

我也喜歡多平德。

Yeah, exactly.

是啊，沒錯。

On paper, this sounds like a disaster, actually.

從紙面上看，這聽起來像是一場災難。

So there's a final battle where Wade, Colossus, and Negasonic, they team up against Ajax and his right-hand muscle Angel Dust.

在最後一戰中，韋德、巨像和黑松鼠聯手對抗阿賈克斯和他的得力助手天使塵。

Also, DMX plays.

此外，還有 DMX 的演出。

Ajax takes Vanessa captive during the fight, but Wade saves the day and gets to reunite with her.

阿賈克斯在戰鬥中俘虜了凡妮莎，但韋德救了她，並與她團聚。

Yes.

是的。

That said, he still doesn't want her to see his face.

儘管如此，他還是不想讓她看到自己的臉。

So what does he do?

那麼他是怎麼做的呢？

He staples a picture of this guy.

他用釘書機釘上了這傢伙的照片。

With a lot of makeup on.

濃妝豔抹

He uses his forehead, cheeks, and chin to cover it up.

他用額頭、臉頰和下巴來掩飾。

Yeah, just...

是啊，只是...

Ow.

噢

Like a band-aid, just give me...

就像Ok繃一樣，給我...

Ow.

噢

Yeah, and don't forget the post-credit tease.

是啊，別忘了片尾的調侃。

Show the clip.

播放片段。

Oh, but I can tell you one thing, and it's a bit of a secret.

哦，不過我可以告訴你一件事，這是個小祕密。

For the sequel, we're going to have cable.

在續集中，我們將使用有線電視。

All right.

好的

So that brings us to Deadpool 2.

這就是《死侍 2》。

Oh, my God!

我的天啊

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

Deadpool 2 is a family film.

死侍 2》是一部閤家歡電影。

True story.

真實的故事

Wade successfully won the Deadpool suit and Monica for a few years, killing bad guys, general mercenary stuff, you know?

韋德成功贏得了死侍戰衣，並和莫妮卡一起殺了幾年壞人，做了些僱傭兵的事，你知道嗎？

Yep.

是的。

Fails to kill one of his targets, who follows him home, and then fortunately kills Vanessa.

沒能殺死他的一個目標，他的目標跟蹤他回家，然後幸運地殺死了 Vanessa。

Thank God I didn't have to use the cream cheese spreader.

感謝上帝，我不用奶油奶酪塗抹器。

Wade is destroyed and trusting.

韋德被摧毀了，他相信了別人。

That's where I learned fridging is, and immediately backtracked.

我從那裡知道了 "fridging "的意思，於是立刻反悔了。

Fridging?

冰箱？

Fridging, yeah, you can't just kill your love interest.

是啊，你不能就這麼殺了你的情敵。

It's, like, a terrible thing to do.

這樣做太可怕了。

You've got to, like...

你得...

Oh, right.

哦，對了。

Yeah, you've got to create proper character arcs for everybody.

是的，你必須為每個人創造適當的角色弧線。

That's a good point.

說得好。

But Wade is destroyed.

但韋德被摧毀了。

Yeah, he is destroyed.

是的，他被毀了。

He tries to kill himself, but Colossus and Negasonic save him, giving him new purpose as an X-Man in training.

他試圖自殺，但巨像和黑松鼠救了他，給了他作為受訓 X 戰士的新目標。

With training, you can be X-Man.

經過訓練，你就能成為 X 戰士。

You're wasting your time, shiny Jesus.

你在浪費時間，閃亮的耶穌。

I'm not X-Man material.

我不是 X 戰士的料

Understatement of the year.

年度輕描淡寫。

Their first mission is to take down a fire-wielding mutant named Rusty Collins.

他們的第一個任務是消滅一個名叫拉斯提-柯林斯的揮舞火焰的變種人。

But Rusty's real name in the movie is Fire Fist, which Deadpool finds incredibly funny.

但在電影中，Rusty 的真名是 "火拳"，這讓死侍覺得非常有趣。

Wade, he kills a member of Rusty's orphanage after learning that they abused him.

韋德在得知羅斯提的孤兒院虐待他之後，殺死了孤兒院的一名成員。

Wait, what did you do?

等等，你做了什麼？

No.

不

He was abused.

他受到了虐待。

You can tell you can always tell.

你總能看出來。

We have rules.

我們有規定。

So Wade and Rusty are taken to a special prison.

於是，韋德和拉斯蒂被帶到了一個特殊的監獄。

How is that?

怎麼會這樣？

Well, not a white-collar place, I'll tell you that much.

我可以告訴你，這不是一個白領聚集的地方。

Where they're forced to wear power-inhibiting collars.

在那裡，他們被迫戴上抑制力量的項圈。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

Am I reading that right?

我沒看錯吧？

Yeah, power-inhibiting collars.

是啊，力量抑制項圈。

Power dampeners.

動力減震器。

Inhibiting.

抑制。

That's what we called them.

我們就是這麼稱呼他們的。

It took his power away, leveled the playing field.

這剝奪了他的權力，讓競爭變得公平。

Please, after you.

你先請

The disgusting mutant off the streets.

把這個噁心的變種人趕出街道

God bless America.

上帝保佑美國

It's good to taco.

吃玉米卷很不錯

This time we also meet a character named Cable.

這一次，我們還遇到了一個名叫凱布爾的角色。

He's a mutant whose family is actually killed by Firefist in the future.

他是一個變種人，他的家人實際上在未來被火拳殺死了。

And Cable is traveling back in time right now to kill Firefist and obviously prevent this.

凱布爾正在穿越時空回到過去殺死火拳，顯然是為了阻止這一切的發生。

Right.

對

He attacks Firefist, Rusty, at the prison but Deadpool steps in to protect him.

他在監獄裡襲擊了火拳、拉斯蒂，但死侍出手保護了他。

Hello, Russell.

你好，羅素

Ow!

噢

Firefist, he teams up with Juggernaut to bust out of this prison.

火拳（Firefist），他與 "大力神"（Juggernaut）聯手衝出了這座監獄。

Russell.

羅素

Russell, you're okay.

羅素，你沒事

Oh, thank...

哦，謝謝

Oh, my God!

我的天啊

Juggernaut!

巨無霸

I thought that was you.

我還以為是你呢

I should have worn my white pants.

我應該穿我的白褲子。

And he heads off down the long, windy, lonely, breezy road of villainy.

然後，他開始了漫長、多風、孤獨、微風拂面的惡棍之路。

I'm gonna rip you in half now.

我要把你撕成兩半

That is such a Juggernaut thing to say.

這真是 "巨人 "說的話。

Wade then assembles with X-Force with Domino, Bedlam, Shatterstar, Zeitgeist,

韋德隨後與多米諾、貝德拉姆、碎星、齊天大聖一起組建了 X 部隊、

Bannister and Peter Wisdom to save Firefist from Cable.

班尼斯特和彼得-智慧從電纜手中救出了火拳。

But they all die in tragic but hilarious fashion.

但他們都以悲慘而又滑稽的方式死去。

Oh, God.

哦，上帝啊

I'm gonna throw up in my mask.

我要吐在面罩裡了。

Oh, yeah, that was sad.

哦，是啊，真讓人難過。

Yeah.

是啊

X-Force dying like that.

X特遣隊就這麼死了

Yeah.

是啊

Who wrote this s***?

這是誰寫的？

So anyway, Wade, Domino, Colossus and Megasonic, they team up again when Firefist is about to commit his first murder.

總之，韋德、多米諾、巨像和巨聲，在火拳即將犯下第一樁謀殺案時再次聯手。

And Wade then sacrifices himself to save Firefist, thus preventing Cable's traumatic future.

然後，韋德犧牲了自己來拯救火拳，從而避免了凱布爾未來的創傷。

Cable, who can now only use his time travel device one more time, decides to go back in time and save Wade, even though it means he can't return to his family in the future.

現在只能再使用一次時空穿梭裝置的凱布爾決定回到過去拯救韋德，儘管這意味著他無法回到未來的家人身邊。

No, my family's safe.

不，我的家人很安全

And I didn't do it for you.

我也不是為了你。

No, I'm gonna stick around for a while.

不，我還要再待一段時間。

Make sure the world doesn't s*** itself into oblivion.

確保世界不會自我毀滅。

Oh, you did it for me.

哦，你為我做到了。

Generous.

慷慨。

Yeah, beautiful.

是啊，太美了

But it was also his way of saying,

但這也是他的一種表達方式、

I'll play this guy again.

我要再玩一次這傢伙。

Yeah, right.

是啊，沒錯。

And I hope he does.

我希望他能做到。

Yeah.

是啊

But in the post-credit sequence,

但在片尾字幕中

Megasonic and Yukio conveniently repair Cable's device, allowing Wade to go back in time and save Vanessa.

Megasonic 和 Yukio 順利修復了凱布爾的裝置，讓韋德回到過去，救出了凡妮莎。

I hope you sharpen the cream cheese spreader.

我希望你能把奶油奶酪塗抹器磨得鋒利些。

If I could turn back time.

如果時光可以倒流

And Peter.

還有彼得

Peter!

彼得

X-Men!

X戰警

Look!

你看

Away!

客場

This has been pretty scary.

這已經相當可怕了。

And he kills off his own X-Men Origins character.

他還殺死了自己的《X 戰警起源》角色。

Hey, it's me.

嘿，是我

Don't scratch.

不要抓撓。

Just cleaning up the timelines.

只是清理一下時間軸。

Then he also kills actor Ryan Reynolds before he can sign on to make Green Lantern.

然後，他還在演員瑞安-雷諾茲簽約拍攝《綠燈俠》之前殺了他。

And that was just for a bit of housekeeping.

而這只是為了整理一下內務。

Nice.

不錯。

Which I made Fox pay for.

我讓福克斯為此付出了代價。

I want to just clean up a few mistakes.

我只想糾正一些錯誤。

That's perfect.

太完美了

And they were fine with that.

他們對此很滿意。

I need your advice.

我需要你的建議。

I need some cleaning up to be done.

我需要做一些清理工作。

Yeah, that's great.

是啊，那太好了。

It's very handy.

非常方便。

Wolverine and Deadpool.

金剛狼和死侍

Sorry.

對不起。

Sorry.

對不起。

We wanted to call it that, but legally we couldn't have had to call it that.

我們想這麼叫，但法律上我們不能這麼叫。

Deadpool 3.

死侍 3

Or Wolverine 10.

或者《金剛狼 10》。

And Deadpool and Wolverine.

還有死侍和金剛狼

Wade has retired, basically, from Super Heroics.

韋德基本上已經退出了超級英雄的行列。

He's working at a used car dealership called Drive Max.

他在一家名為 Drive Max 的二手車行工作。

While celebrating his birthday, the Time Variance Authority, the TVA, seen before in Loki, grabs Wade out of his own reality and tasks him with a greater mission.

就在韋德慶祝生日的時候，之前在《洛基》中出現過的 "時間異變管理局"（TVA）將韋德從自己的現實世界中抓了出來，並賦予他更偉大的使命。

What are you, Wolfen?

你是誰，沃芬？

Who's asking?

誰在問？

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇，哇。

Is that supposed to be scary?

這應該很嚇人嗎？

The R rating isn't new for me, friendo.

R 級對我來說並不陌生，朋友。

But it is for Disney.

但這是為了迪士尼。

At this point, Wade, he basically decides or takes it upon himself that he is going to find Wolverine and he's going to, by hook or by crook, get Wolverine to help save Wade or Deadpool's reality.

此時，韋德基本上已經決定，他要找到金剛狼，並不擇手段地讓金剛狼幫助他拯救韋德或死侍的現實。

Look, lady, I'm not interested.

聽著，女士，我不感興趣。

All right, well, I'm sort of on the tick-tick, so opsy-daisy.

好吧，我現在是 "滴答滴答"，所以是 "opsy-daisy"。

And Emma Corrin plays the villain, Cassandra Nova, who is a super powerful telepath.