A lot of people watching this video right now, they're watching it because they want an edge, and that's great, I admire that.

很多人現在看這段視頻，是因為他們想獲得優勢，這很好，我很欽佩。

You're strivers, so am I.

你們是奮鬥者，我也是。

But strivers in the striving process, they open themselves up to one of the most deleterious addictive behaviors known to mankind, and that's workaholism.

但是，奮鬥者在奮鬥過程中，會讓自己陷入人類已知的最有害的成癮行為之一，那就是工作狂。

People will work hard, it will create dysfunction in their relationships, they will exhibit hiding behavior where they're sneaking around.

人們會努力工作，但這會導致人際關係失調，他們會表現出偷偷摸摸的躲藏行為。

If you don't believe it, well, ask yourself, do you sometimes sneak into the bathroom to check your email, your work email?

如果你不相信，那麼請捫心自問，你是否有時會偷偷溜進衛生間查看電子郵件、工作郵件？

Do you snap shut your laptop computer on a Sunday afternoon when your partner comes home?

週日下午，當您的伴侶回家時，您會立即關閉筆記本電腦嗎？

Yeah, yeah, well, you're doing it too.

是啊，是啊，你也在這樣做。

People get defensive when people question how much they're working, well, that's classic addictive behavior.

當人們質疑他們的工作強度時，他們就會採取防禦措施，這就是典型的上癮行為。

Now, I have found in my own work that workaholism actually isn't the primary addiction, it's a secondary addiction.

現在，我在自己的工作中發現，工作狂其實並不是主要的癮，而是次要的癮。

The primary addiction for most strivers is an addiction to success.

大多數奮鬥者的主要癮頭是成功癮。

Success is achieving something of merit and being rewarded for it.

成功就是有所成就並是以獲得獎勵。

Many strivers, many of my students, me, look, I'm guilty here.

許多奮鬥者，我的許多學生，還有我，聽著，我在這裡有罪。

We feel fully alive when amazing things are happening and we're able to create value, and we don't feel fully alive when we're not doing those things, quite frankly.

當令人驚歎的事情發生，當我們能夠創造價值時，我們會感到自己還活著，而當我們不做這些事情時，坦率地說，我們不會感到自己還活著。

It's a real reward to see something come to fruition, to get that deal, to finish that book in my case, to teach a class that goes incredibly well, to get that compliment.

看到一些事情取得成果，拿到那份合約，完成那本書（就我而言），教一堂課非常順利，得到那句讚美，這都是一種真正的獎勵。

A lot of that success addiction behavior is neurophysiological, as a matter of fact.

事實上，這種成功上癮的行為在很大程度上與神經生理有關。

You find that people actually get dopamine in a way, that's a neuromodulator that's implicated in all forms of human addiction, that they get dopamine specifically when they feel that they're succeeding at work.

你會發現，人們實際上在某種程度上獲得了多巴胺，這是一種神經調節劑，與人類各種形式的成癮都有關係，當他們覺得自己在工作中取得成功時，就會特別獲得多巴胺。

While they keep seeking those rewards, they keep seeking success, and seeking success is hard.

他們在不斷追求這些回報的同時，也在不斷追求成功，而追求成功是很難的。

You have to excel, and you have to excel compared to other people, and that means you need to outwork other people, and that leads to the work addiction.

你必須出類拔萃，而且必須比別人出類拔萃，這意味著你需要比別人做得更多，從而導致工作成癮。

The underlying problem is success addiction.

根本問題在於成功上癮。

Behind that, there's actually something even more profound, which is a tendency to reduce yourself to nothing more than a success machine.

在這背後，其實還有更深刻的東西，那就是一種把自己貶低為成功機器的傾向。

That's a problem.

這是個問題。

That's a moral problem, as a matter of fact.

事實上，這是一個道德問題。

You're more than a success machine.

你不僅僅是一臺成功的機器。

You're not a robot, neither am I, but when you see yourself as the most excellent person, so very special, you've objectified yourself.

你不是機器人，我也不是，但當你把自己視為最優秀、最特別的人時，你就把自己物化了。

You've taken away a big piece of your humanity.

你已經失去了一大部分人性。

Here's basically how I sum this up.

我基本上是這樣總結的。

If you're exhibiting workaholic behavior, you need to deal with it, but then the next question is, okay, how do I stop?

如果你表現出工作狂的行為，你需要處理它，但接下來的問題是，好吧，我該如何停止？

How do I stop?

如何停止？

Is there a 12-step program?

有 12 步計劃嗎？

Is there some detox center that I can get into?

有什麼戒毒中心能讓我進去嗎？

The answer is no, although a lot of people do need to seek help from mental health professionals for this.

答案是否定的，儘管很多人確實需要向心理健康專家尋求幫助。

The answer to this is to actually build your team on the people who are going to give you the opportunities to do things that are actually more satisfying than that.

解決這個問題的辦法是，真正把你的團隊建立在那些能給你機會去做實際上比這更令人滿意的事情的人身上。

You need to actually take the people that you love the most, and that perhaps you've been neglecting, and ask them, what do you think I should do?

你需要把你最愛的人，也許是你一直忽視的人，問他們，你覺得我該怎麼做？

What do you actually think I should do instead of that?

你覺得我應該怎麼做？

For workaholics, the primary relationship, love relationship in their life is with work.

對於工作狂來說，他們生活中最主要的關係、愛情關係就是工作。

That's not a good love relationship because work can't really love you back.

這不是一種好的愛情關係，因為工作無法真正回報你的愛。

Work takes.

工作需要

Work doesn't give.

工作沒有回報。

That means usually you need to cultivate the relationships with the people that really can love you back.

這意味著，通常你需要培養與那些真正能愛你的人的關係。

Who are these people?

這些人是誰？

I recommend that people actually start to develop a serious spiritual life, a serious spiritual practice, whether it's a religious experience or not.

我建議人們真正開始發展一種嚴肅的精神生活，一種嚴肅的精神實踐，無論它是否是一種宗教體驗。

That depends on different people.

這取決於不同的人。

Maybe that means reading the wisdom literature, getting in touch with the Stoic philosophers, studying the works of Johann Sebastian Bach.

也許這意味著閱讀智慧文學，接觸斯多葛派哲學家，學習約翰-塞巴斯蒂安-巴赫的作品。

I don't know.

我不知道。

Going back to the faith of your youth, but something that gives you a relationship with the divine.

回到你年輕時的信仰，但這種信仰能讓你與神建立聯繫。

People who are married is doubling and tripling down on the metaphysical beauty that actually can and should be your marital relationship.

結了婚的人，就是在加倍、加倍地追求形而上的美，這種美實際上可以而且應該成為你們的婚姻關係。

That might be the first time in years that you've actually been able to work on that with your children.

這可能是這麼多年來，你第一次真正能和孩子們一起解決這個問題。

That was a big one for me.

這對我來說很重要。

I'm telling you.

我告訴你

I mean, I can't tell you the number of times that I spent that 14th hour in the office instead of my first hour with my kids when they were little.

我的意思是，我無法告訴你我有多少次把第 14 個小時花在辦公室裡，而不是在孩子們小的時候把第一個小時花在他們身上。

Why?

為什麼？

Because I had to be special instead of happy, right?

因為我必須特別而不是快樂，對嗎？

Workaholic special, that's for sure.

工作狂特別，這是肯定的。

They got revenge.

他們報了仇。

You know what they did?

你知道他們做了什麼嗎？

They grew up.

他們長大了。

And it wasn't there for a lot of it.

而且很多時候它都不在那裡。

Well now, now it's not going to be that way.

好了，現在不會那樣了。

I have deeper friendships than I ever had before, and I recommend that people actually start to develop these real friendships.

我擁有比以前更深厚的友誼，我建議人們真正開始發展這些真正的友誼。

You know, the problem that CEOs have is they have lots of deal friends, but not that many real friends.

要知道，首席執行官們的問題是，他們有很多交易朋友，但真正的朋友卻不多。

Deal and real, you know the difference.

交易和真實，你知道其中的區別。

Deal friends are incredibly useful.

交易朋友非常有用。

Real friends are useless.

真正的朋友是沒用的。

They're just people who love you.

他們只是愛你的人。

Cultivating those friendships can be the most exciting adventure that you've had in a really, really long time.

培養這些友誼可能是你很長很長時間以來最激動人心的冒險。

The bottom line is basically this.

底線基本上是這樣的。

What substitutes for work?

什麼可以替代工作？

The answer is love with humans.

答案就是與人類相愛。

That's what it comes down to, because happiness is love, full stop.

歸根結底，幸福就是愛。

Okay, how?

好吧，怎麼做？

Give me the algorithm, man.

把算法給我

And I get it.

我明白了。

You know, I want that too.

你知道，我也想這樣。

And so I do have a lot of rules of thumb that I suggest.

是以，我確實有很多經驗之談。

First, real friendship has to extend beyond your spouse, for example.

首先，真正的友誼必須超越你的配偶等。

So real friends are people that you just love.

所以，真正的朋友就是你愛的人。

You don't need anything from them, and they don't need anything from you.

你不需要他們的任何幫助，他們也不需要你的任何幫助。

You really are not going to be getting the benefit that you need from your relationships if your only real friend is your spouse.

如果你唯一真正的朋友是你的配偶，那麼你真的無法從你的人際關係中獲得你所需要的好處。

And that's typically the case with a lot of strivers.

很多奮鬥者都是如此。

So making real friendship what we call companionate love of the spouse is critically important, but you need at least one more, at least one more person.

是以，建立真正的友誼，也就是我們所說的陪伴配偶的愛是至關重要的，但你至少還需要一個人，至少還需要一個人。

And so working on that is critically important.

是以，這方面的工作至關重要。

Only one more is, it might be the right number for introverts.

還有一點是，這個數字可能適合內向的人。

Extroverts, on the other hand, need more friends than that.

而外向者則需要更多的朋友。

Start with your spouse, if you're married, then move on to one or two or three people with whom you can make a real connection and start investing in that relationship.

如果你已婚，就從你的配偶開始，然後再找一兩個或兩三個能與你建立真正聯繫的人，並開始投資於這種關係。

That means if, you know, that person lives in Atlanta, get on the plane, man.

也就是說，如果那個人住在亞特蘭大，那就趕緊上飛機吧。

Get on the plane.

上飛機

Say, let's go do something for half a day.

說，我們去玩半天吧。

What do you say?

你怎麼說？

And they'll be like, "You're coming here to do that, to see me?"

他們會說，你來這裡就是為了見我？

And you're like, "Yep, it'll be super fun."

你會想，是啊，一定會超級有趣的。

I guarantee that you actually do that.

我保證你真的會這麼做。

But that's where the investment starts and those are the numbers that we're trying to talk about and anybody can do that.

但這就是投資的起點，也是我們要討論的數字，任何人都可以做到這一點。