Come on in.

進來吧

Thanks for coming back.

感謝您的光臨。

Um, okay, there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down, and you are one of the finalists.

嗯，好吧，有很多人都對這個房間感興趣，但我已經縮小了範圍，你是最終人選之一。

That's great.

好極了

Okay, now, before I make my decision, I, uh, I just want to make sure that our personalities match.

好吧，現在，在我做決定之前，我，呃，我只是想確保 我們的個性相匹配。

Okay?

好嗎？

So I made up a little test.

於是我做了一個小測試。

Now, I'm gonna say a word, and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.

現在，我說一個詞，然後你說第一個想到的詞。

I can do that.

我可以做到這一點。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Pillow.

枕頭

Fight.

戰鬥

Very good.

非常好

Okay.

好的

G.

G.

String.

字符串

Excellent.

好極了

Okay.

好的

Um.

嗯。

Doggy.

狗狗

Kitten?

小貓？

Oh, sorry.

哦，對不起。

No, no, no, no, no, no.

不，不，不，不，不，不，不。

No, no, no.

不，不，不

So close, though.

就差一點了

But, okay.

不過，好吧

Bye-bye.

再見

Oh, here it is.

哦，在這裡。

Oh, Joey, why did you sign it, son of a bitch?

哦，喬伊，你為什麼要簽字，狗孃養的？

I didn't do that.

我沒有那麼做。

Who would have done that?

誰會這麼做？

Son of a bitch.

狗孃養的

Okay, maybe ask this guy.

好吧，也許可以問問這個人。

You.

你

Get out of my shop.

滾出我的店

What did he do?

他做了什麼？

He went out with my wife.

他和我妻子出去了

Joey?

喬伊？

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

哇哦 哇哦 哇哦

Hey, I did not go out with your wife.

嘿，我可沒和你老婆約會。

Okay?

好嗎？

I went out with her.

我和她約會了

That's my wife.

那是我妻子。

Get out.

滾出去

Well, we should go.

我們該走了

Yeah.

是啊

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

How's it going?

進展如何？

Did you make any new friends?

你交到新朋友了嗎？

Yeah, yeah.

是啊，是啊。

I met this woman.

我遇到了這個女人。

Hey, whoa, whoa.

嘿 哇 哇

What's she like?

她長什麼樣？

Uh, well, she's really good in bed.

她床上功夫很好

Joey, I thought you were going to try to be friends first.

喬伊 我以為你會先試著做朋友呢

Well, look, hey, it's all your fault.

都是你的錯

What?

什麼？

Why?

為什麼？

Because you didn't give me advice.

因為你沒有給我建議

No, you gave me a pickup line.

不，你給了我一句搭訕的臺詞。

As soon as I told her I wanted to, you know, build a foundation and be friends first,

我一告訴她，我想先打好基礎，做朋友、

I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her.

我突然變得對她無法抗拒，這不是我的錯。

And a roommate.

還有一個室友

What about the closeness?

親近感如何？

Closeness, schmoseness.

親密無間

There was three of us for crying out loud.

我們有三個人呢。

Nice car.

車不錯

Yeah, it's, uh, it's not mine.

是的，這不是我的。

I love your car.

我喜歡你的車

Yeah, it's mine.

是的，這是我的。

I bet it's fast.

我打賭一定很快。

Me too, yeah.

我也是

And comfortable.

還很舒適

Do you, uh, do you like leather seats?

你喜歡真皮座椅嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

It's got them.

有了

Yeah, she tops out at 130.

是的，她的最高點是130

Wow.

哇

And that's just in the city.

這還只是在城市裡。

I get her up to 160 when I take her upstate.

當我帶她去北部時，我會讓她達到 160 磅。

Really?

真的嗎？

You got a place upstate?

你在北部有住處嗎？

Sure.

當然。

Sure.

當然。

Well, I'll, uh, I'll see you later.

好吧，我，呃，回頭見。

Okay, take it easy.

好了，別緊張

Hey.

嘿。

That's my car.

那是我的車

Really?

真的嗎？

Oh, uh, but just give me five more minutes with it.

哦，再給我五分鐘就好。

What are you doing?

你在幹什麼？

Oh, well, I, uh, I found the keys and now I'm just polishing her up.

哦，好吧，我，呃，我找到鑰匙了，現在我正在給她上光。

But it's my car.

但這是我的車

Yeah, but it's my wax.

是的，但這是我的蠟

Listen, I don't come to this city much and I don't know if you're crazy or if this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys?

聽著，我不常來這個城市 我不知道你是瘋了還是在演街頭劇 但能把我的鑰匙給我嗎？

Sure.

當然。

Here.

給你

I'll, uh, I'll save you a parking spot.

我給你留個停車位

I'm not coming back.

我不會回來了

Why not?

為什麼不呢？

I live upstate.

我住在北部。

Yeah, so did I.

是啊，我也是。

So the Porsche guy took his car back.

於是，保時捷車主把車開了回去。

But you found the keys to his clothes?

但你找到了他衣服的鑰匙？

No, I just, uh, I just love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.

不，我只是喜歡大家以為我有一輛保時捷的感覺。

And people would think you own a Porsche because you're wearing the clothes?

人們會因為你穿的衣服而認為你擁有一輛保時捷嗎？

Of course.

當然。

Only an idiot would wear this stuff if you didn't have the car, right?

只有白痴才會在沒車的情況下穿這種衣服，對吧？

That is true.

沒錯。

Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a signed Porsche.

是的，但只有天才才會吞下簽名的保時捷。

Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.

是的，但只有天才才會吞下聲波爆破槍。

Oh, I've been there.

哦，我也經歷過。

Well, I am gonna go drive my Porsche.

好了，我要去開我的保時捷了。

Joey, you know you don't actually have one.

喬伊，你知道你其實沒有。

Come on, what are you doing?

拜託，你在幹什麼？

I'm in character.

我很有個性

Will you talk to her?

你能和她談談嗎？

Hey, hey, hey, careful around my Porsche.

嘿，嘿，嘿，小心我的保時捷。

Hi, Joey.

嗨 喬伊

Hey, how you doing?

嘿，你好嗎？

He has the most amazing Porsche under there.

他的保時捷是最棒的。

I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in.

我很想給你看，但我剛給她蓋好被子。

She's sleeping.

她睡著了

Hey, uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink?

你們倆想去喝一杯嗎？

Please help me.

請幫幫我。

I have a date tonight.

我今晚有個約會

It has to go well, okay?

一定要順利，好嗎？

I'm scared for my health.

我很擔心我的健康。

Okay, okay.

好吧 好吧

Um, oh, oh, oh, I got something.

我有發現了

Okay, it's this story that I came up with.

好吧，這是我想出來的故事。

Very romantic.

非常浪漫

I swear, any woman that hears it, they're like putty.

我發誓，任何女人聽到這首歌，都會像膩子一樣。

Really? Well, then tell it to me.

真的嗎？那就告訴我吧

Okay.

好吧

Now, you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember, it is just the story.

現在，你聽了會想和我做愛，但你必須記住，這只是故事。

I'll try to control myself.

我會盡量控制自己。

Okay.

好吧

Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe...

多年前，當我揹包穿越西歐時...

You were backpacking across Western Europe?

你曾揹包穿越西歐？

Have a nice six more months, Ross.

祝你再過六個月好日子，羅斯。

Okay, okay, okay.

好吧，好吧，好吧。

I'm sorry, please, please.

對不起，求你了，求你了

...across Western Europe, and...

...整個西歐，以及...

I was just outside of Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo.

我當時正在巴塞羅那郊外的蒂比達博山腳下徒步旅行。

I was at the end of this path, and I came to a clearing, and there was a lake, very secluded, and there were tall trees all around.

我走到這條小路的盡頭，來到一片空地，那裡有一個湖，非常幽靜，周圍都是高大的樹木。

It was dead silent.

一片死寂。

Gorgeous.

美輪美奐。

And across the lake, a beautiful woman, bathing herself.

湖對面，一位美麗的女子正在沐浴。

But she was crying.

但她哭了。

Why?

為什麼？

Hi again.

又見面了

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Thank you so much.

非常感謝。

Oh, don't thank me.

不用謝我

Thank the jerk that never showed up.

感謝那個從未露面的混蛋。

Okay, I got to get to work.

好了，我得去工作了

You want some help with that?

要幫忙嗎？

No, no, thanks. I got it.

不用了，謝謝我來吧

Oh, no, I don't.

哦，不，我沒有。

Whoa!

哇哦

You okay?

你還好嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Stood up too fast. Got a little head rush.

站起來太快了。有點頭暈。

The heat.

熱

And the humidity.

還有溼度。

That's a...

這是一個...

That's a tough combination.

這是一個艱難的組合。

Hmm.

嗯

Do you want to come in for some lemonade?

你想進來喝點檸檬水嗎？

Like you wouldn't believe.

就像你不會相信一樣。

Hmm.

嗯

Oh.

哦。

Wow.

哇

This is a great place.

這是個好地方。

Ah.

啊。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Just make yourself comfortable.

請自便。

Hmm.

嗯

Gotcha.

抓到你了

Hmm.

嗯

This place is really my grandmother's.

這個地方真的是我祖母的。

I got it from her when she moved to Florida.

她搬到佛羅里達時，我從她那裡得到了它。

Otherwise, I could never afford a place like this.

否則，我永遠也住不起這樣的地方。

So if the landlord ever asks,

所以，如果房東問起

I'm an 87-year-old woman who's afraid of her VCR.

我是一個 87 歲的老太太，她害怕她的錄像機。

You thirsty?

你渴嗎？

Oh, you bet I am.

哦，那還用說。

Okay, here's your penis.

好了，這是你的小弟弟

Oh, my God!

我的天啊

What the hell are you doing?

你到底在幹什麼？

You said you want to come in for some lemonade.

你說你想進來喝點檸檬水。

So?

所以呢？

Yeah.

是啊

Uh, were you just gonna give me lemonade?

你剛才是要給我檸檬水嗎？

Yeah-huh!

是啊

Cover yourself up.

把自己遮起來

Oh, right.

哦，對了。

Sorry.

對不起。

I don't believe this.

我不相信。

I mean, someone asks you in for lemonade, and you're like,

我是說，有人請你喝檸檬水，你就會說：

I'm not gonna give you any.

我不會給你的

You're like,

你就像

I'm not gonna give you any.

我不會給你的

You're like,

你就像

I'm not gonna give you any.

我不會給你的

You're like,

你就像

I'm not gonna give you any.

我不會給你的

You're like,

你就像

I'm not gonna give you any.

我不會給你的

You ask someone to come in for lemonade, and to you, that means they want to have sex?

你請別人來喝檸檬水，對你來說就意味著他們想做愛？

Um, usually, yeah.

嗯，通常，是的。

Come on, not just lemonade.

來吧，不只是檸檬水。

Iced tea, sometimes juice.

冰茶，有時是果汁。

Look, I'm sorry.

聽著，我很抱歉

I just...

我只是...

I thought you liked me.

我以為你喜歡我

Such a jerk.

真是個混蛋

It's okay.

沒關係。

I suppose it could happen to anyone.

我想任何人都有可能遇到這種情況。

Not anyone I know, but...

不是我認識的任何人，但...

By the way, I can still see it.

對了，我還能看到它。

Hey, remember when she brought up that thing about, you know, the three of us?

嘿，還記得她提起我們三個的事嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Vividly.

生動。

She was kidding about that, right?

她是在開玩笑吧？

Yeah, I think so.

是的，我想是的。

Yeah, I think so.

是的，我想是的。

Gotta be weird if that situation presented itself tonight, huh?

如果今晚出現這種情況，一定很奇怪吧？

Yeah.

是啊

Yeah, I mean, what will we do?

是啊，我是說，我們該怎麼辦？

Dude, I don't know.

老兄，我不知道。

She was kidding.

她在開玩笑。

Yeah.

是啊

She was...

她...

But you know what, just in case, maybe we should come up with a set of ground rules.

但你知道嗎，為了以防萬一，也許我們應該制定一套基本規則。

Yeah, for sure.

是的，當然。

Okay.

好的

Probably want the first one to be, never open your eyes.

可能希望第一條是 "永遠不要睜開眼睛"。

You know?

你知道嗎？

Because you don't want to be doing something, and then look up.

因為你不想在做某件事情的時候抬頭看。

And see something that you don't want to be seeing.

看到你不想看到的東西。

Yeah, good call.

是啊，說得好。

Nice.

不錯。

Hold it!

拿著

Hold it!

拿著

What if my eyes are closed, and...

如果我閉著眼睛...

And my hand is out there?

我的手在外面？

Ah!

啊！

Okay, eyes open at all times.

好的，眼睛一直睜著

Oh, hey.

哦，嘿

How do we decide where we open our eyes?

我們如何決定在哪裡睜開眼睛？

How do we decide where we...

我們如何決定在哪裡...

You know, each would...

你知道，每個人會...

You know...

你知道...

Be?

是？

Right.

對

Right.

對

Well, you know, we could flip for it.

嗯，你知道，我們可以翻轉它。

Yeah, I guess.

是的，我想是的。

But, like, what's heads and what's tails?

但是，什麼是頭，什麼是尾？

Well, if you don't know that, then I don't want to do this with you.

好吧，如果你不知道，那我就不想和你做這個了。

Oh!

哦！

Sorry.

對不起。

We're on a major flawn high.

我們正處在一個重要的高潮期。

Oh, no.

哦，不

No, you're not supposed to be here.

不，你不應該在這裡。