Oh, my gosh!

哦，我的天哪！

They might need this, as well.

他們可能也需要這個。

And this.

還有這個

Please, take this.

請拿著這個。

And these. And this.

還有這些還有這個

Oh!

哦！

And this.

還有這個

I'm pretty sure you're gonna need that kidney.

我敢肯定你會需要那個腎的。

Maybe.

也許吧

Oh, I always knew you guys had problems, but I never realized how bad it was.

哦，我一直知道你們有問題，但從沒意識到問題有多嚴重。

Have you eaten today, son?

你今天吃飯了嗎，孩子？

No, I haven't, but it's because...

不，我沒有，但這是因為......

Oh!

哦！

Ha-ha-ha! I think there's a misunderstanding here.

哈哈哈我覺得這裡面有誤會。

Pride is important, but sometimes you have to accept the health of others.

自尊很重要，但有時你必須接受他人的健康。

No, sir, you don't understand.

不，先生，你不明白。

Swallow your pride and eat!

吞下你的驕傲，吃吧！

Ha-ha! Okay, okay.

哈哈好了 好了 Okay, okay.

Oh. Oh.

噢 噢 Oh.哦 Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

哦，哦，哦

He's so grateful he's got tears in his eyes.

他感激得熱淚盈眶。

Here you go, kid.

給你，孩子

It's not much, but it'll help.

雖然不多，但還是有幫助的。

People, please!

大家請注意

Seriously, we're not poor!

說真的，我們並不窮！

Of course you're not.

你當然不是。

You're richer than all of us.

你比我們都富有。

Oh, dear.

哦，天哪

That's not your heart, is it?

那不是你的心，對嗎？

Sorry, I'm a vegetable.

對不起，我是個植物人。

I don't really know how you people work.

我真不知道你們是怎麼工作的。

Trust me, guys, we're fine.

相信我，夥計們，我們沒事。

It's not like we're on the streets or anything.

我們又不是流落街頭什麼的。

Although technically, we kind of are, since Dad took the car and left.

雖然從技術上講，我們算是，因為爸爸開著車走了。

Ah!

啊！

I always knew he was a bad parent.

我一直都知道他是個不稱職的家長。

His big, happy, fat, evil face, his sinister dimples, and those beady, doe eyes.

他那張快樂、肥胖、邪惡的大臉，他那陰險的酒窩，還有那雙炯炯有神的眼睛。

So what do you think will make him happiest?

那麼，你認為什麼會讓他最開心？

A go-kart or a real pony?

卡丁車還是真正的小馬？

Why not buy the whole store?

為什麼不買下整個商店？

It only comes to a billion dollars.

只有十億美元。

Oh, okay.

哦，好吧

I'm fine.

我沒事

Was that sarcasm again?

又是諷刺嗎？

Yeah, so do you get it now?

你現在明白了嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Are you lying?

你在撒謊嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Would you like me to explain again?

需要我再解釋一遍嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

So, how are we gonna raise money for these poor, broken, little children?

那麼，我們該如何為這些可憐、破碎的孩子籌錢呢？

Let's do a charity calendar.

我們來做一個慈善日曆吧。

Can we make it a naked calendar?

我們能把它做成裸體日曆嗎？

Let's put on a music festival.

我們來辦一個音樂節吧

Can we make it a naked music festival?

我們能把它辦成一個裸體音樂節嗎？

Let's do a charity bake.

我們來做慈善義賣吧

Can we do it naked?

我們可以裸體做嗎？

All right, who keeps saying that?

好吧，是誰一直這麼說的？

What? All I have is a mustache, and I really want to be involved.

什麼？我只有鬍子，我真的很想參與進來。

You guys have to tell me if I need to buy a hat or something.

你們得告訴我是否需要買頂帽子什麼的。

Okay, I'm going to say this now in a way that is impossible for you to misunderstand.

好吧，我現在就以一種你們不可能誤解的方式說出來。

I mean, only the words I'm saying right now.

我是說，只有我現在說的話。

There are no hidden meanings or subtexts.

沒有隱藏的含義或潛臺詞。

We do not need your charity.

我們不需要你的施捨。

You're such a brave soul.

你真是個勇敢的靈魂。

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Okay, so sarcasm is when you say something you don't mean, but with an eyebrow raised.

好吧，諷刺就是你說一些你不是故意的，但眉毛上揚的話。

That's enough.

夠了

Look, why not try it on this lady here?

為什麼不在這位女士身上試試呢？

My nipples are purple!

我的乳頭是紫色的

Not really, that was sarcasm.

不是真的，那是諷刺。

High five!

擊掌

Love can set you free

愛讓你自由

Because love has got the key

因為愛有鑰匙

Love can cross the sea

愛可以漂洋過海

Because love can water ski

因為愛可以滑水

Love can make you live for eternity

愛能讓你永生

Well, not literally

嗯，不是字面意思

Thank you, thank you.

謝謝，謝謝。

The response so far has been amazing.

到目前為止，反響非常好。

But please, continue giving so we can spark hope in these kids' hearts and let their spirits burn as bright as these symbolic candles.

但是，請繼續捐款，讓我們能夠點燃這些孩子心中的希望，讓他們的精神像這些象徵性的蠟燭一樣熊熊燃燒。

Okay, dude, this has gone too far. Tell him the truth.

好了，夥計，這太過分了告訴他真相

Why me?

為什麼是我？

Because you have the megaphone.

因為你有傳聲筒。

Our young friend, Darwin, wants to say something to you all.

我們的小朋友達爾文想對大家說幾句話

We're not poor.

我們不窮。

They lied to us!

他們騙了我們！

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！

People, please, put down these pitchforks that you took to the mall for whatever reason.

請大家放下手中的乾草叉，不管出於什麼原因，你們都帶著乾草叉去了商場。

We didn't lie.

我們沒有撒謊。

We're mega poor, right, Darwin?

我們很窮，對吧，達爾文？

Prove it!

證明給我看

Uh, sure, we're, um...

當然，我們...

We're, like, so poor that we can't afford free stuff.

我們窮得連免費的東西都買不起。

We're so poor that we elect stamps for breakfast.

我們窮得早餐都要選郵票。

We're so poor that we open an email account just to eat the spam.

我們太窮了，以至於開一個電子郵件賬戶就是為了吃垃圾郵件。

That's not proof, that's just jokes stolen from the internet.

這不是證據，這只是從網上偷來的笑話。

These guys are fake!

這些人都是假的！

What do you want from us?

你想從我們這裡得到什麼？

Do you really want to see us eat dog food on our squalid top of the house, wearing garbage bags?

你真的想看到我們穿著垃圾袋，在骯髒的房頂上吃狗食嗎？

Is that it? Would that make you happy?

是這樣嗎？這樣你會高興嗎？

No, no, I believe you. I'm sorry we ever doubted you.

不，不，我相信你很抱歉我們曾經懷疑過你

Now, dude, come to our house!

現在，老兄，來我們家吧

Come on, Star has now good enough for you!

來吧，星星已經夠你受的了！

Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry.

哦，不，不，不，對不起。

I didn't mean to insult your hospitality.

我無意侮辱你的熱情好客。

Sure, we'll come.

當然，我們會來的。

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

Okay, okay.

好吧 好吧

Uh, just give us five minutes to tidy up.

給我們五分鐘收拾一下