When you go to white people's houses and tell them that you like something, they let you have it.

當你去白人家裡，告訴他們你喜歡某樣東西時，他們會讓你擁有它。

♪♪

♪♪

And I got a lot of nice stuff in my house, try it.

我家裡有很多好東西，試試吧。

Just go to one of your white friend's house and be like,

就去你的白人朋友家，然後說：

Bob, that's a nice painting.

鮑勃，畫得真不錯。

You like it? Drew, take it.

喜歡嗎？德魯 拿著

I think I will, Bob.

我想我會的，鮑勃。

I think I will.

我想我會的。

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♪♪

Take that painting.

就拿那幅畫來說吧。

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♪♪

And that's a nice lamp, too.

這盞燈也不錯。

As a matter of fact, all this stuff is nice, Bob.

事實上，這些東西都不錯，鮑勃。

I like all this stuff.

我喜歡這些東西。

Back the car up.

倒車

So I'm at the point in my life where there's things I do with my white friends

所以，在我的生活中，我和我的白人朋友一起做一些事情

I don't do with my black friends and vice versa.

我和我的黑人朋友不這樣做，反之亦然。

I'm not mean.

我並不刻薄。

It just comes from my experiences.

這只是我的經驗之談。

If I'm out drunk,

如果我喝醉了

I like to be at my white friend's house.

我喜歡去白人朋友家。

White people make you pancakes in the morning.

白人早上給你做煎餅。

With whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate chips in them.

裡面有鮮奶油、草莓、巧克力脆片。

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

Black people not get their pancakes in the morning.

黑人早上吃不到煎餅

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

Black people not gonna make you pancakes in the morning because they're really not prepared for you to stay.

黑人不會在早上給你做煎餅，因為他們真的沒準備好讓你留下來。

White people have extra bedrooms, extra pillows.

白人有額外的臥室，額外的枕頭。

They'll take your shoes and your keys from you.

他們會拿走你的鞋子和鑰匙。

You're not going anywhere.

你哪兒也別想去

Go upstairs.

上樓去

The first bedroom on the right, there's a dresser in there.

右邊第一間臥室裡有一個梳妝檯。

There's pajamas.

還有睡衣

Put those on.

穿上吧

Those belong to Dave.

那些是戴夫的。

He's dead.

他死了

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♪♪

Get yourself some rest and I'll make you pancakes in the morning.

好好休息，明早我給你做煎餅。

And I'm like, I'm just glad me and dead Dave the same size.

我就想，我很高興我和死去的戴夫體型一樣。

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♪♪

People think we're so different, but we're not.

人們認為我們大相徑庭，其實不然。

It's just little differences.

這只是微小的差別。

Like, white people, you're prepared to be drunk better than we are.

比如說，白人，你們準備醉得比我們還厲害。

I used to think you just like to do a lot of outdoor activities.

我以前以為你只是喜歡做很多戶外活動。

That's why you have canoes on the top of your cars and mountain bikes on the back.

這就是為什麼你們把獨木舟放在車頂，把山地自行車放在車尾。

And then I realized that's not what it's for.

後來我意識到這不是它的用途。

They're prepared to be drunk.

他們已經做好了喝醉的準備。

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♪♪

Talking to one of my white friends the other day, I said, what'd you do last Friday?

前幾天和我的一個白人朋友哈拉時，我說，你上週五做了什麼？

He said, man, I got so drunk, drove my truck into a lake.

他說，我喝醉了，把卡車開進了湖裡。

I just got in my canoe and paddled the rest of the way home.

我坐上獨木舟，一路劃回家。

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♪♪

And I'm like, I would've drowned because I don't have no canoe on the top of my car.

我就想，我肯定會淹死的，因為我的車頂上可沒有獨木舟。

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♪♪

We say different things when we're drunk.

我們喝醉後會說不同的話。

If I was hanging out with a couple of brothers end of the night, you could hear things like, you got your license?

如果晚上我和幾個兄弟一起出去玩，你會聽到這樣的話："你拿到駕照了嗎？

You got any warrants?

你有搜查證嗎？

Take the bullets out the gun.

把子彈取出來

White dudes, you say stuff like, if the moose in the road,

白人帥哥，你說的東西，如，如果駝鹿在路上、

I'm riding it.

我騎著它。

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♪♪

This is a true story.

這是一個真實的故事。

I heard that it's a party in Wisconsin.

我聽說這是威斯康星州的一個派對。

I'm like, I'm going with these dudes.

我想，我要跟這些傢伙一起去。

I've never seen nobody ride no moose.

我從沒見過有人騎駝鹿。

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♪♪

Like, hold on, fellas.

等等，夥計們

I'm coming.

我來了

Let me get my hat.

我去拿帽子

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♪♪

White people that got houses with three garage doors, that's where you keep your spaceship.

白人的房子有三個車庫門，那就是你放飛船的地方。

♪♪

♪♪

A lot of people don't know that.

很多人都不知道這一點。

They think it's for golf carts and boats, but that's where you keep your spaceship because you're going to leave earth and go to another planet and I'm coming.

他們以為那是用來放高爾夫球車和船的，其實那是你放飛船的地方，因為你要離開地球去另一個星球，而我也要去。

♪♪

♪♪

I try to tell my black friends all the time, you need white friends with spaceships.

我總是試圖告訴我的黑人朋友，你們需要有飛船的白人朋友。

♪♪

♪♪

White people are cool, but they only going to take one black person per spaceship.

白人很酷，但他們每艘飛船隻能搭載一個黑人。

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♪♪

And I don't want to be the only black person on the new planet.

我不想成為新星球上唯一的黑人。

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♪♪

Somebody's moon rock come up missing, here we go with this piece of good.

有人的月球岩石不見了，我們就用這塊好東西。

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♪♪

I didn't come here for this.

我不是為此而來的

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♪♪

You guys are awesome.

你們太棒了

Laughter

笑聲

It's true stuff.

這是真的。

Laughter

笑聲