It doesn't do shit.

它屁用沒有。

Oh, what the fuck?

哦，搞什麼鬼？

Pat me down right now.

馬上拍我

Pat you down right now?

現在就把你拍下來？

Pat me down right now.

馬上拍我

No, for real, do this, man.

不，真的，這樣做，夥計。

What?

什麼？

Pat me down.

拍拍我

Pat you down right now?

現在就把你拍下來？

You've got to do it, man.

你必須這樣做，夥計。

Why do I not?

為什麼不呢？

So I don't like, there's something about this,

所以我不喜歡，這裡面有些東西、

I don't like one bit.

我一點也不喜歡。

Step away from the car.

離開汽車。

OK, you want me to?

好吧，你想讓我去嗎？

No, no, no, put your hands down.

不，不，不，把手放下。

Put your hands down like a normal person.

像正常人一樣把手放下。

I'm going to take my hands out of my pocket, right, real, real, real slow.

我要把我的手從口袋裡拿出來，對，真的，真的，真的很慢。

OK, real slow, all right?

好了，慢慢來，好嗎？

OK, y'all understand?

好了，你們都明白了嗎？

OK, now look here.

好了，現在看這裡。

Now, I wanted to ask you both a question about the contents of my pockets, OK?

現在，我想問你們倆一個問題 關於我口袋裡的東西，好嗎？

Our first question was going to be, do you have any illicit substances in your pockets?

我們的第一個問題是，你的口袋裡有非法藥物嗎？

All of a sudden, this is like Jeopardy, where the question gets put to us, and then we have a, what the hell?

突然間，這就像 "危險 "遊戲一樣，我們被提出了一個問題，然後我們就會想，這到底是怎麼回事？

Now, OK, do this.

現在，好了，這樣做。

Set those down.

把它們放下來。

Set these down.

把這些放下來。

Just set them all down.

把它們都放下來。

Set them all down.

把它們都放下來。

Now, so I put my hands back in my pocket?

現在，我要把手放回口袋裡嗎？

No, this time now, let's keep them up at our sides.

不，這次我們要讓他們站在我們身邊。

All right.

好的

OK, let me just set up a scenario for y'all.

好吧，讓我為大家設定一個場景。

OK, like a scene, a setting, an example.

好吧，比如一個場景、一個環境、一個例子。

Are you going to tell us something?

你要告訴我們什麼嗎？

Yes.

是的。

A gentleman was careening down the street, OK, and bumped into me.

一位先生在街上狂奔，還好，撞到了我。

Moving very quickly.

行動非常迅速。

Now, listen, man.

聽著

I don't know if y'all believe in God, but I believe in God, OK?

我不知道你們是否相信上帝，但我相信上帝，好嗎？

And I'm going to tell you what happened.

我要告訴你發生了什麼。

Every one of them bottles have flown up into the air, and they have flown into my pockets.

每一個瓶子都飛到了空中，飛進了我的口袋。

And that was God knowing that I was having,

那是上帝知道了我的存在、

I was feeling a little down, a little blue last week, OK?

上週我感覺有點沮喪，有點憂鬱，好嗎？

And he provided you with five oxygen bottles.

他還給你提供了五個氧氣瓶。

So the Lord provided for me.

於是，上帝為我提供了一切。

Hey, you want to throw those on for me?

嘿，你要幫我穿上嗎？

OK.

好的。

Thank you.

謝謝。

Yeah, that'd be great.

是啊，那太好了。

That'd be great.

那就太好了。

Thanks.

謝謝。

I'll take a half, too.

我也要一半。

Oh, you want a half?

哦，你要半杯嗎？

Oh, you took a whole one?

哦，你拿了一整塊？

How much you supposed to take?

你應該吃多少？

Half.

一半

Oh.

哦。

I'll drive.

我來開車

Yeah, maybe you should drive.

是啊，也許你應該開車。

I'd be more than happy to drive.

我很樂意開車。

You're good.

你真厲害

You're good.

你真厲害

Holograph day.

全息日。

Holograph.

全息圖

I have a question in response to a rumor.

我有一個問題要回答一個傳言。

Is it true that you're strong enough to peel fruit with your private parts?

你真的有力氣用私處削水果皮嗎？

Yes.

是的。

How do you do that?

你是怎麼做到的？

I'm confused and roused.

我既困惑又興奮。

And yet you're working in law enforcement.

而你卻在執法部門工作。

I don't get it.

我不明白。

There are exercises a woman can do.

女人可以做一些運動。

Are there workout tapes for those exercises?

有這些練習的健身錄音帶嗎？

Not that I know of.

據我所知沒有。

That's not true.

事實並非如此。

That's not true.

事實並非如此。

They're called Kegels.

這就是所謂的 "凱格爾"。

Kegel won't peel a kiwi.

凱格爾不會剝獼猴桃皮。

It's not a Kegel.

這不是凱格爾。

It's like a variation on a Kegel.

這就像是凱格爾的變體。

It's not a Kegel.

這不是凱格爾。

It's a backdoor Kegel?

這是後門凱格爾？

Backdoor Kegels?

後門凱格爾？

That's not what it's called.

不是這麼叫的。

Well, what is it?

那麼，是什麼呢？

Which door are we talking about?

我們說的是哪扇門？

Yeah, which door are we talking about?

我們說的是哪扇門？

What part of the door do you use to?

你用的是門的哪個部分？

What part of the fruit do you use?

你用的是水果的哪個部分？

The inner door.

內門

I don't think there's even a kitchen appliance that peels a kiwi.

我想甚至沒有一種廚房用具能給獼猴桃去皮。

OK, turn it off.

好吧，關掉它。

Go get a kiwi.

去吃獼猴桃吧