Spoke has banned every player, duped billions of items, and even manipulated me, stealing ownership of my server without me knowing.

Spoke 禁止了所有玩家，騙取了數十億件物品，甚至操縱了我，在我不知情的情況下竊取了我服務器的所有權。

So, to get him back for the past two years of pain that he caused me, I'm gonna break every rule on his server, all before he can ban me.

所以，為了報復他過去兩年給我帶來的痛苦，我要在他封禁我之前，打破他服務器上的所有規則。

Alright, but like, I have an actual question.

好吧，不過我有個實際的問題。

What?

什麼？

Starting with rule one, no attacking players in spawn.

從第一條規則開始，不得攻擊產卵中的玩家。

And as soon as these players started fighting back, I instantly logged out.

這些玩家一開始反擊，我就立刻註銷了。

But these are both rules that people already break all the time.

但這兩條規則都是人們已經經常違反的。

The next one, not so often.

下一個就沒那麼頻繁了。

This player just invited me to her parkour competition, and I immediately agreed to participate.

這位選手剛剛邀請我參加她的跑酷比賽，我立刻就答應了。

But if you know anything about this server, when a player invites you to something, it's always either a scam or a trap.

但如果你對這個服務器有所瞭解，當一個玩家邀請你去參加什麼活動時，要麼是騙局，要麼是陷阱。

Which is exactly why as soon as she won the bet by successfully making one of the hardest jumps in Minecraft, I started running away instead of paying her the hearts like I promised.

這就是為什麼當她成功完成威廉與魔獸中最難的一次跳躍，贏得賭注後，我就開始逃跑，而不是像我承諾的那樣付給她紅心。

For some reason though, I decided to turn around and give her the four hearts that I promised.

但出於某種原因，我決定轉過身來，把我答應給她的四顆心給她。

Not only would I have to break this rule later, but I was now left on one heart.

我不僅以後要打破這個規則，而且現在只剩下一顆心了。

And since the competition turned out to be a scam in the first place, my teammate, Maepic, was furious and decided to attack the host of the competition.

由於比賽一開始就是個騙局，我的隊友 Maepic 非常生氣，決定攻擊比賽的主辦方。

But I'm not trying to involve myself in any conflicts, especially since I'm on one heart, so I got out of there as fast as possible and began breaking other rules, like using hacks to secretly cheat in a game of hide and seek.

但我不想捲入任何衝突，尤其是我只有一顆心，所以我儘快離開了那裡，開始破壞其他規則，比如在捉迷藏遊戲中使用黑客偷偷作弊。

And breaking all of these rules reminded me of when Spoke and I used to be teammates.

打破這些規則讓我想起了我和斯波克曾經是隊友的時候。

But I didn't actually have much time to think about it because Maepic, my current teammate, told me that in just a few minutes, we would be fighting against the strongest players on the server.

但實際上我沒有太多時間考慮這個問題，因為我現在的隊友 Maepic 告訴我，幾分鐘後，我們將與服務器上最強的玩家對戰。

And their reason for attacking us?

他們攻擊我們的理由是什麼？

So as the enemy team approached, I truly thought about breaking rules to give myself an advantage.

是以，當敵方隊伍逼近時，我真的想過打破常規，為自己贏得優勢。

But I realized that doing so would likely get me banned.

但我意識到，這樣做很可能會讓我被禁言。

And after some more thinking, I decided that I would keep my distance and only use my bow so that I could run away if we started losing.

經過再三考慮，我決定保持距離，只使用弓箭，這樣一旦我們開始輸了，我就可以逃跑。

But as I watched Maepic struggling to survive, I thought back to how we had even gotten into this situation.

但是，當我看到 Maepic 在掙扎求生時，我回想起我們是如何陷入這種境地的。

It was my fault.

是我的錯。

I owed one to Maepic, and although I typically didn't fight with him, I knew that I needed to help him.

我欠梅皮克一個人情，雖然我通常不和他打架，但我知道我需要幫助他。

And since we were now a player down, I drank an invisibility potion and ran as far as I could.

由於我們現在少了一個玩家，我喝了一瓶隱形藥水，然後拼命跑。

Yet, Maepic insisted that we go back to retrieve his chestplate, giving us the exact coordinates of where our enemies had gone.

然而，梅皮克堅持要我們回去取回他的胸甲，並告訴我們敵人去向的確切座標。

But this isn't just any ordinary chestplate.

但這不是普通的胸甲。

At the beginning of the server, me, Maepic, and our third teammate, BaconWaffles, each created a chestplate with the same armor trim but different color as a sign of devotion to our team.

在服務器開始時，我、Maepic 和我們的第三位隊友 BaconWaffles 各自制作了一件相同盔甲裝飾但顏色不同的胸甲，以示對團隊的忠誠。

In reality, I didn't care about the chestplate because I barely even considered Maepic to be my teammate.

實際上，我並不在意胸甲，因為我幾乎沒把 Maepic 當作我的隊友。

At the end of the day, we just shared the same base and sometimes fought together.

說到底，我們只是共用一個基地，有時還會一起戰鬥。

But for the most part, we did our own separate things.

但在大多數情況下，我們各做各的事。

Yet, as Maepic continued to chase down the players who had stolen his chestplate, I guess

然而，當邁皮克繼續追趕偷他胸甲的玩家時，我想

I hadn't realized how much it meant to him.

我沒有意識到這對他意味著什麼。

And although Maepic wasn't able to get his chestplate back, he promised us that he would.

雖然 Maepic 沒能拿回他的胸甲，但他向我們保證他會的。

So in the meantime, I went off to break other rules, challenging my other teammate Bacon to a diamond mining competition.

於是，在此期間，我去打破其他規則，向我的另一位隊友培根發起挑戰，參加鑽石開採比賽。

What BaconWaffles didn't know was that I would be using X-Wing.

培根-華弗斯不知道的是，我將使用 X 翼。

But BaconWaffles had stolen all of the diamonds from the chest.

但是，貝肯-華弗斯偷走了箱子裡所有的鑽石。

And no matter how hard I tried, he refused to give them back.

無論我怎麼努力，他都不肯還給我。

In reality, it really shouldn't have mattered.

實際上，這本不重要。

I was breaking all of these rules anyway, and a couple of illegally obtained diamonds wouldn't really affect anything.

反正我已經違反了所有這些規則，幾顆非法獲得的鑽石並不會影響什麼。

Then again, when Spoke had duped a bunch of illegal items, it had ruined our friendship and also caused war to break out.

話又說回來，當年斯波克騙了一大堆非法物品，毀了我們的友誼，還引發了戰爭。

So I admitted defeat to Bacon and got the diamonds back, destroying them a few minutes later.

於是我向培根認輸，拿回了鑽石，幾分鐘後又把它們銷燬了。

And during that time, Maepic had put pretty much everything on the line to get his chestplate back.

在那段時間裡，為了拿回胸甲，梅皮克幾乎傾其所有。

But after everything had failed, he ultimately decided to pay 7 hearts for it, which I thought was completely outrageous.

但在一切都失敗後，他最終決定支付 7 顆心的費用，我認為這完全太離譜了。

You gave him 7 hearts for the chestplate?

你給了他 7 顆心的胸甲？

I mean, yeah, I didn't really have a choice.

我的意思是，是的，我真的別無選擇。

Bro, what?

兄弟，怎麼了？

Dark, would you not do the same?

黑暗，你不也會這樣做嗎？

Like, we're teammates, bro.

就像，我們是隊友，兄弟。

But I had to get back to rule breaking.

但我必須重新開始破壞規則。

So there I was, using replay mod to illegally find bases, then stealing iron out of them, stream sniping players and responding to people in their chat.

於是，我就在那裡使用重放模式非法尋找基地，然後從基地裡偷鐵，流狙擊玩家，並在他們的哈拉中回覆他們。

And since one of the next rules I was gonna break required a bit of preparation, I headed back to the base where I found Maepic already running around.

由於我接下來要打破的規則之一需要一點準備，所以我回到了基地，發現 Maepic 已經在那裡跑來跑去了。

Maepic, you know what I realized?

梅皮克，你知道我意識到了什麼嗎？

What's up?

怎麼了？

I kinda get why Spoke did what he did.

我有點明白斯波克為什麼這麼做了。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

Bro, like, rule breaking is kinda fun.

兄弟，打破規則也挺有趣的。

Yeah, I'm on 50 frames right now.

是啊，我現在就在 50 幀上。

I'm noticing a decrease in frames.

我注意到幀數減少了。

Oh my gosh.

我的天啊

I can't even, dude, I'm at 1 frame.

我都做不到，老兄，我只有一格。

Do you need me to finish the job?

你需要我完成工作嗎？

But then, Maepic said something that I really hadn't put that much thought into.

但後來，梅皮克說了一句話，我還真沒仔細想過。

Alright, bro, but like, I have an actual question.

好吧，兄弟，但我有個實際的問題。

What?

什麼？

Like, why are you doing this?

比如，你為什麼要這麼做？

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

Bro, I just told you, like, it's like, fun.

兄弟，我剛告訴過你，這很有趣。

Like, do you actually think I'm dumb?

比如，你真的認為我是啞巴嗎？

Why are you actually doing it?

你為什麼要這麼做？

Uh, okay.

好吧

Here, check your DMs.

在這裡，檢查你的DM。

Bro.

兄弟

There's actually no way a screenshot of you and Spoke made you do this.

你和斯波克的截圖不可能讓你這麼做。

Bro, be for real.

兄弟，來真的吧。

It's symbolism, bro.

這是象徵意義，兄弟。

Symbolism.

象徵意義

I'm just basically saying, like, this all has to do with Spoke.

我只是想說，這一切都和《輻條》有關。

Like, you know how he broke rules for literally two years when I was the owner?

比如，你知道在我當老闆的兩年裡，他是如何違反規定的嗎？

And like, over the past eight months, he literally manipulated me, created a team, and then used that to basically destroy Lifesteal?

就像，在過去的八個月裡，他真的操縱了我，創建了一個團隊，然後利用這個團隊基本上摧毀了Lifesteal？

So this is your getback?

這就是你的回報？

I mean, yeah, I guess you can put it that way.

我的意思是，是的，我想你可以這麼說。

Alright, bro.

好吧，兄弟

Just remember what happened when Spoke did that.

請記住斯波克這樣做的後果。

And as I broke more rules, I thought about what Mapikid said.

當我打破更多的規則時，我想到了馬皮基德的話。

Like, why are you doing this?

比如，你為什麼要這麼做？

Be for real.

要真實。

It's symbolism, bro.

這是象徵意義，兄弟。

Symbolism.

象徵意義

Alright, bro.

好吧，兄弟

Just remember what happened when Spoke did that.

請記住斯波克這樣做的後果。

At first, I didn't care about rule-breaking because I genuinely had nothing to lose.

起初，我並不在乎破壞規則，因為我真的不會失去什麼。

But now, I was beginning to wonder if this was all even worth it.

但現在，我開始懷疑這一切是否值得。

But my thinking was quickly put to a halt because Spoke announced that the server would be inviting two new members.

但我的想法很快就停止了，因為 Spoke 宣佈服務器將邀請兩名新成員。

And Mapik and I saw it as the perfect opportunity to get back some of the hearts we had lost from earlier.

馬皮克和我認為，這是一個絕佳的機會，可以挽回我們之前失去的一些心。

So, the two of us headed to the top of the world where these new players would spawn in.

於是，我們兩人前往世界之巔，這些新玩家就會在那裡誕生。

But, as we were waiting there, Spoke showed up.

但是，當我們在那裡等待時，斯波克出現了。

So, two minutes, bro.

所以，兩分鐘，兄弟。

Let's lock in.

讓我們鎖定目標。

Oh my god, bro.

哦，我的上帝，兄弟。

My heart's actually beating.

我的心臟真的在跳動

If we were to kill these players right in front of Spoke, there was a chance that the two of us would get banned.

如果我們當著斯波克的面殺死這些玩家，我們兩個就有可能被禁言。

And even though I tried to convince Mapik to leave, he refused.

儘管我試圖說服馬皮克離開，但他拒絕了。

Jpex!

Jpex！

Do I do it?

我做嗎？

I got it.

我知道了

Got it.

知道了

Got him?

抓住他了嗎？

Dead.

死了

Do we jump Spoke now?

我們現在要跳過斯波克嗎？

Do we jump Spoke now?

我們現在要跳過斯波克嗎？

Mapik went for Spoke next, which was the riskiest decision he could have made.

馬皮克接下來選擇了輻條，這是他能做出的最冒險的決定。

Knocked Spoke.

敲輻條

Do you think anybody else is going to come up?

你認為還會有人上來嗎？

Spoke's here too.

斯波克也來了

And even though Mapik knew that he could get banned as well, he still fought by my side.

儘管馬皮克知道他也可能被禁言，但他仍然和我並肩作戰。

Low. So low. So low.

低。太低了太低了

Squiddo!

Squiddo！

What?

什麼？

Okay.

好的

No, let's fight this.

不，讓我們抗爭到底。

Let's take this.

就拿這個來說吧。

Let's take this.

就拿這個來說吧。

Don't let him jump.

別讓他跳

Oh, shoot.

哦，該死

And after we managed to escape, the two of us parted ways since Mapik had to work on something else.

我們成功逃脫後，因為馬皮克要忙別的事情，所以我們兩個就分道揚鑣了。

As he left, I stood there thinking about everything that had happened over the past few days.

他走後，我站在那裡回想過去幾天發生的一切。

I think I'm just realizing this now, but like, I am genuinely the worst teammate to ever exist.

我想我現在才意識到這一點，但我確實是有史以來最糟糕的隊友。

I feel horrible, bro.

我感覺糟透了，兄弟。

Like, I genuinely feel horrible.

我真的覺得很可怕。

I guess after what Spoke did, I just never wanted to trust anyone again.

我想在斯波克做了那件事之後，我再也不想相信任何人了。

But, I don't know.

但是，我不知道。

I think until now, I never realized what Mapik has actually done for me.

我想，直到現在，我才意識到 Mapik 為我做了什麼。

After all, when the server started, I really had no intentions of teaming with anyone.

畢竟，在服務器開始時，我真的沒打算和任何人組隊。

It was Mapik who took me under his wing and invited me to his team.

是馬皮克將我納入麾下，並邀請我加入他的團隊。

Oh my god!

我的天啊

Skeletons do so much damage!

骷髏的傷害太高了

Skeletons!

骷髏

All of them!

所有的人

I had an idea.

我有個主意

One that would determine whether or not I would continue to break rules.

這將決定我是否會繼續破壞規則。

But, I needed Mapik to be there.

但是，我需要馬皮克在那裡。

And since he wouldn't be around for a while, I tried to distract myself for the rest of the day by breaking more rules.

由於他暫時不會出現在我身邊，我試圖在接下來的日子裡通過違反更多的規則來分散自己的注意力。

Yo, look at him poking like an NPC!

喲，看他戳得像個 NPC！

Oh!

哦！

Yo, what?

什麼？

Yo!

喲！

And after hours of killing players' pets and building illegal bases, Mapik and I reunited and ventured far out where we stumbled across someone's abandoned starter house.

在殺死玩家的寵物和建造非法基地數小時後，我和馬皮克重聚了，並冒險到很遠的地方，在那裡我們偶然發現了別人廢棄的起始屋。

So, to break another rule, I rigged it with TNT and an active redstone line.

是以，為了打破另一條規則，我用 TNT 和激活的紅石線做了偽裝。

But, before I set it off, I asked Mapik a question.

不過，在出發之前，我問了馬皮克一個問題。

Mapik, are you not afraid?

馬皮克，你不害怕嗎？

What do you mean?

什麼意思？

Like of getting banned.

比如被禁言。

You know how like you helped me fight Spoke today?

你知道你今天幫我打了斯波克嗎？

You do realize like, if you interfere, you could potentially get banned too, right?

你應該意識到，如果你插手，也有可能被禁言，對嗎？

Bro, actually like, who cares if I get banned?

兄弟，其實就像，誰在乎我被禁言？

Like, that means you got banned too.

也就是說，你也被禁言了。

It doesn't really matter.

這並不重要。

Whatever happens, we're still gonna be teammates.

無論發生什麼，我們還是隊友。

I didn't tell Mapik at the time, but that was the moment where I promised that I'd stop breaking rules.

當時我沒有告訴馬皮克，但就是在那一刻，我承諾不再違反規定。

I didn't care anymore.

我已經不在乎了。

I was happy with what I had.

我對自己所擁有的一切感到滿意。

The teammates I had.

我的隊友們

And I was fully ready to let go of Spoke and move on forever.

我已經做好充分準備，永遠放下《吐槽大會》，繼續前進。

But most of all, unlike Mapik, I was terrified.

但最重要的是，與馬皮克不同，我很害怕。

I was terrified of getting banned and losing everything like I had before.

我害怕被禁言，害怕像以前一樣失去一切。

I vowed to never break a rule again.

我發誓再也不破壞規則了。

There was no point in doing so.

這樣做毫無意義。

Ever.

永遠

What's up, bro?

怎麼了，兄弟？

What's up?

怎麼了？

I just have a quick question.

我只有一個簡單的問題。

Sure.

當然。

It had been almost four days since I had made the promise to myself.

距離我向自己許下諾言已經快四天了。

I was working on some villager trades in the base when I received a call from Wembu, a new player on the server.

我當時正在基地裡處理一些村民的交易，突然接到服務器新玩家 Wembu 的電話。

Not completely sure what it was about, I decided to pick it up.

我並不完全清楚它的內容，但還是決定買下它。

Does Spoke know about your, like, little rule-breaking quest?

斯波克知道你打破規則的探索嗎？

And in my mind, since I had completely moved on, I admitted to everything.

在我心中，既然我已經完全放下了，我就承認了一切。

I was hacking the other day, and I just turned it off.

前幾天我在黑客攻擊時，直接把它關掉了。

So you wouldn't mind if I, like, told him the full extent?

所以你不介意我告訴他全部內容吧？

You wouldn't want me to do that, right?

你不希望我這麼做，對嗎？

Wait, why?

等等，為什麼？

Well, I think we're going to engage in a bit of an act called the blackmailing parrot here.

好吧，我想我們要在這裡表演一下 "鸚鵡敲詐 "了。

I am going to leak everything you're doing to Spoke unless you give me your chestplate.

除非你把胸甲給我，否則我會把你對斯波克所做的一切都洩露出去。

And I've been recording this entire time, so I do have your, uh, confession.

我一直在錄音 所以我有你的供詞

Wembu was going to take what I just said and use it to turn me into Spoke, unless I gave him my chestplate.

除非我把胸甲給他，否則溫佈會把我剛才說的話用來把我變成斯波克。

And yes, this chestplate is one of the three chestplates that my teammates and I created at the beginning of the server.

沒錯，這件胸甲就是我和隊友們在服務器開始時製作的三件胸甲之一。

However, there's a massive repercussion if you lose yours.

但是，如果你丟失了你的手機，後果將不堪設想。

You see, when the three of us created them, we agreed that if any of us lost ours and couldn't get it back, we'd have to leave our team.

你看，當我們三個人創建它們時，我們約定，如果我們中的任何一個人丟失了自己的，並且無法找回來，我們就必須離開我們的團隊。

This meant that Wembu was forcing me to make a decision.

這意味著溫布在強迫我做出決定。

Either get kicked from my own team, or get reported and banned from the server.

要麼被踢出自己的隊伍，要麼被舉報並禁止進入服務器。

Unless I went back on my promise.

除非我食言了

If I broke rules again and scammed Wembu by giving him a fourth fake chestplate, there was a chance that I could avoid everything.

如果我再違反規定，騙溫布給他第四塊假胸牌，就有可能避免一切。

Hello, Mr. Bird.

你好 伯德先生

I'm going to eat that chestplate off of you.

我要把你的胸甲吃掉

If I lose this chestplate, even if it's not you, I'm going to tell Spoke.

如果我丟了這個胸牌，即使不是你，我也要告訴斯波克。

Bro, what?

兄弟，怎麼了？

And as I swapped my real chestplate for the fake one and threw it to Wembu, I knew that there was no going back.

當我把真胸甲換成假胸甲，扔給溫布時，我知道我再也回不去了。

Have a good one, Mr. X2.

祝你愉快，X2 先生。

All it took was five minutes until Wembu realized that the chestplate was fake, and he was furious that I scammed him.

只用了五分鐘，溫布就發現胸牌是假的，他很生氣，說我騙了他。

Interesting.

有意思

Interesting.

有意思