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I'm William Hanson, an etiquette coach, and I'm here to answer the internet's burning etiquette questions.
我是威廉-漢森,一名禮儀教練,我來回答網上炙手可熱的禮儀問題。
This is Etiquette Support.
這裡是 Etiquette Support。
AtDollyMarole asks,
AtDollyMarole 問:
I always do my best to have good table etiquette, but I still genuinely do not understand the no elbows on the table rule.
我一直在盡力保持良好的餐桌禮儀,但我還是真的不理解 "禁止將手肘放在桌子上 "的規定。
Why is that important? Three exclamation marks.
這有什麼重要的?加上三個感嘆號。
The no elbows on the table rule goes back to the medieval times in Europe, where they were eating from trestle tables.
禁止將手肘放在桌子上的規定可以追溯到歐洲的中世紀,當時人們都是在木架桌上用餐。
They would put these benches out with sheets of wood on top.
他們會把這些長凳擺放出來,上面鋪上木板。
If you put your elbows on the table, the table would tip and the food would go everywhere.
如果你把胳膊肘放在桌子上,桌子就會傾斜,食物就會到處亂飛。
And obviously that's not very good etiquette.
這顯然不是什麼好禮儀。
And so it became the etiquette and not to put your elbows on the table.
於是,不把胳膊肘放在桌子上就成了一種禮儀。
We do really still abide by the no elbows on the table rule, because I think it looks really ugly.
我們確實還在遵守不準把胳膊肘放在桌子上的規定,因為我覺得這樣看起來很難看。
AtQwellings is saying, what's the proper way to stir the tea clockwise or anticlockwise?
AtQwellings 說:「順時針或逆時針攪拌茶葉的正確方法是什麼?」
Great question. And the answer is neither.
問得好。答案是都不是。
Instead, we stir in a back and forth 6-12, 6-12 motion, gently flicking the teaspoon at the top of the cup, not banging around like that.
相反,我們以 6-12, 6-12 的來回動作攪拌,輕輕地將茶匙撥到杯口,而不是像這樣敲來敲去。
Thank you very much.
非常感謝。
Set it back in line with the handle and enjoy.
把它放回把手的位置,然後盡情享受。
R.G. Meister is asking, actually, f*** this site.
R.G. 梅斯特問:「其實,這個網站******。
I'm learning how to cut cheese for charcuterie.
我正在學習如何切熟食店的起司。
Well, you live life on the edge.
好吧,你生活在邊緣。
Here comes our cheese selection.
我們要挑選的奶酪來了。
Thank you.
謝謝。
You don't want to take the best bit of the cheese for yourself.
你不會想把最好的奶酪據為己有的。
And the best bit of the cheese, cheeses that are made in the round, is the nose of the cheese.
而奶酪中最美味的部分,也就是圓形奶酪的鼻子。
And on this blue cheese here, that would be this bit.
在這塊藍奶酪上,就是這一點。
So we wouldn't cut like so, because you'd be taking the creamiest bit for yourself.
所以,我們不會這樣切,因為你會把最奶油的那一點據為己有。
And that's not good manners.
這不是禮貌。
Instead, we are going to cut down, keeping the original shape.
相反,我們要把它切下來,保持原來的形狀。
And then we would place that cheese on our individual plate.
然後,我們會把奶酪放在各自的盤子裡。
We have a question now from Joe P.E. Haley.
現在請喬-P-E-海利提問。
How do you eat your peas?
你怎麼吃豌豆?
Excellent question.
問得好
Cue the peas.
豌豆
Thank you so much.
非常感謝。
Just ordered this plate of peas from the nearest available tin.
剛從最近的罐子裡訂了這盤豌豆。
What we don't do is scoop like this.
我們不做這樣的獨家新聞。
In really casual dining, that might be permissible, but in more formal dining, we're going to use both the fork and the knife.
在真正的休閒用餐中,這可能是允許的,但在更正式的用餐中,我們要同時使用叉和刀。
Some people do this.
有些人就是這樣做的。
I think this is more difficult to keep those peas balanced.
我認為這更難保持這些豌豆的平衡。
You see, there we go.
你看,我們走吧。
One's gone.
一個不見了
It's much better to just spear them onto the tines of your fork and eat like so.
直接用叉子叉起來吃會更好。
At The Etiquette Man is asking, is cheersing or clinking your glass on the table proper etiquette?
禮儀先生問:在餐桌上歡呼或碰杯是否符合禮儀?
So many people do it, but it's not actually correct.
很多人都這麼做,但實際上並不正確。
In formal dining, you're drinking from fine glassware that's expensively made.
在正式用餐時,您會用昂貴的玻璃器皿喝酒。
And if you do start smashing your glasses together, you're going to hear the clink of glass all over the floor and that'll somewhat ruin the meal.
如果你開始把杯子砸在一起,你會聽到滿地的玻璃杯碰撞聲,這多少會毀掉一餐。
We have a tweet from at Shelly Lahey.
我們收到了來自謝利-拉黑(Shelly Lahey)的一條推特。
No, but why should we care about etiquette?
沒有,但我們為什麼要在乎禮儀呢?
Like who the cares about which fork goes where?
就像誰會關心哪個叉子放在哪裡?
Why does it matter?
這有什麼關係?
They've put in block capitals.
他們用的是正楷。
Clearly have strong opinions on this.
顯然,他們對此有強烈的意見。
Etiquette is important to everybody.
禮儀對每個人都很重要。
If you are a user of earth, then you need etiquette and manners.
如果你是地球的使用者,那麼你就需要禮儀和禮貌。
No one is exempt from that.
沒有人可以倖免。
Predominantly what I'm focusing on today is Western British American etiquette.
我今天主要講的是西方英美禮儀。
At Droovy Modi 10 is saying, who even decides table etiquette?
Droovy Modi 10 說:"誰能決定餐桌禮儀?
Like I'll keep the fork however I want without giving some secret message on whether I like the food or not.
就像我想怎麼拿叉子就怎麼拿叉子,而不會暗中告訴別人我是否喜歡這道菜。
Okay, so there is some etiquette fake news that does the rounds on social media.
好吧,社交媒體上流傳著一些禮儀假新聞。
There is a graphic showing the different positions to put your cutlery in based on whether you liked the food or not, whether you're ready for a second plate.
有一個圖形顯示了根據你是否喜歡食物、是否準備好了第二盤菜,你應該把餐具放在不同的位置。
It's a load of rubbish.
這是一堆垃圾。
The only positions you put your cutlery in when they're not being held in your hand is to indicate that you are resting or if you are finished.
餐具不拿在手上時,唯一的擺放姿勢是表示您在休息或您用完了。
When we're resting, the cutlery goes like so.
我們休息時,餐具是這樣擺放的。
When we're finished, in Britain, we would put the cutlery together, but in other parts of the world, that might be at a slight angle.
吃完後,在英國,我們會把餐具放在一起,但在世界其他地方,可能會稍微傾斜一點。
And in France, the fork might be turned over.
而在法國,叉子可能會被翻過來。
That is what the waiting staff are looking for.
這才是服務員所追求的。
Atwaseem NYC is asking, is it ever okay to interrupt someone in a conversation?
Atwaseem NYC 在問:打斷別人的談話可以嗎?
Short answer, no.
簡而言之,沒有。
And if it is okay, which it isn't, when is it an appropriate time?
如果可以,什麼時候才是合適的時機?
I mean, look, if they're on fire, then you might perhaps need to say, can I just stop you there?
我的意思是,聽著,如果他們著火了,那麼你也許需要說,我能不能讓你停下來?
Your trousers are alight.
你的褲子著火了
But other than that, let them finish.
除此之外,就讓他們完成吧。
But note to everyone else, a conversation is meant to be like a game of tennis.
但請大家注意,談話就像一場網球比賽。
You're not meant to hold the ball and not let it go.
你不應該拿著球不放手。
At Virgin Radio Toronto are asking, is it wrong to taste a bottle of wine at a restaurant and then send it back because you don't like it?
多倫多維珍電臺問:在餐廳品嚐一瓶葡萄酒後,因為不喜歡而將其退回,這樣做有錯嗎?
Well, the restaurant are going to love you because you're going to be paying for the first bottle and the second bottle.
餐廳會喜歡你的,因為你要為第一瓶和第二瓶買單。
The only reason, thank you, that you can send something back is because there is a problem with the wine because it is caught.
謝謝你,你可以把東西寄回去的唯一原因是酒有問題,因為它被夾住了。
And that's where there's been a problem in the storage process.
這就是存儲過程中的問題所在。
By the time you get the wine to about here, you will know that it is caught.
當你把酒送到這裡的時候,你就會知道它被釣上來了。
It will stink.
會發臭的。
This is from B1acker.
來自 B1acker。
How TF do you eat a big ass burger in a non grotesque way?
TF 如何以不怪誕的方式吃一個大屁股漢堡?
Well, that's an excellent question.
這個問題問得好。
Thank you.
謝謝。
Now this burger, this is huge.
現在,這個漢堡可大了。
Nobody's got a mouth that big.
沒人有那麼大的嘴巴
So instead you're going to deconstruct it first with your knife and fork.
所以,你要先用刀叉來解構它。
Take the top of the bun off and then cut a little bit and then eat like so.
把饅頭的頂部拿掉,然後切一點點,再像這樣吃。
At Richard Bicknays is asking, what fork etiquette do you use?
理查德-比克奈斯(Richard Bicknays)問,你們使用的叉子禮儀是什麼?
I'm sure I'd get roasted in Europe for my very American knife and fork etiquette.
在歐洲,我的刀叉禮儀很美國化,肯定會被烤焦。
Well, yes, there are some differences.
嗯,是的,有一些區別。
In Britain, when we're using a knife and fork together, they are both held at the same time.
在英國,當我們一起使用刀叉時,刀叉是同時握住的。
The knife stays low.
刀保持低位。
We obviously don't put the knife anywhere near our mouth and the food is conveyed via the fork.
顯然,我們不會把刀子放在嘴邊,食物是通過叉子傳送的。
And in Britain, the tines of the fork, the prongs, always face downwards.
而在英國,叉子的尖,也就是叉刺,總是朝下的。
Now in America, they will start like this, cut a little bit of food, place the knife down on the edge of the plate, turn the fork over, stab and eat, pick up the knife, cut another little bit of food.
現在在美國,他們會這樣開始:切一點食物,把刀放在盤子邊緣,把叉子翻過來,刺一下,然後吃,拿起刀,再切一點食物。
This is an aerobic exercise.
這是一種有氧運動。
This is not relaxing in any way.
這絲毫不能讓人放鬆。
So we don't suggest eating like that in Britain, but of course in America, it's perfectly correct if that's how they wish to eat.
是以,我們不建議英國人這樣吃,當然,在美國,如果他們想這樣吃,也是完全正確的。
Mr. Rickson is saying that according to etiquette expert Emily Post, there are three proper ways to eat spaghetti.
裡克森先生說,根據禮儀專家艾米莉-波斯特的說法,有三種正確的吃意大利麵條的方法。
How do you do it?
你是怎麼做到的?
Thank you.
謝謝。
You look so appetizing.
你看起來很有食慾。
Well, Emily Post wrote her book in America at the turn of the 20th century.
艾米莉-波斯特是在 20 世紀之交的美國寫這本書的。
Now I don't know about the etiquette back then, but I didn't think there were three ways to eat spaghetti, but today there is only one way.
現在我不知道當時的禮儀了,但我不認為意大利麵有三種吃法,但今天只有一種。
You are not going to cut your pasta.
你不會切掉你的意大利麵。
It's very bad form.
這是非常糟糕的形式。
It is just eaten with the fork upturned in the dominant hand.
吃的時候,叉子是豎起來的。
And you go in from the edge of your spaghetti, twist and make a neat little parcel, and then eat like so.
然後你從意大利麵條的邊緣進去,擰成一個整齊的小包,然後像這樣吃。
At lolitslaurence says, what is the worst etiquette sin ever?
lolitslaurence 說,最嚴重的禮儀罪是什麼?
If you do not say please, thank you, and sorry, as a human being walking on this earth, then you should be put into etiquette room 101 and the key should be thrown away.
如果你不說 "請"、"謝謝 "和 "對不起",作為一個在地球上行走的人,你就應該被關進禮儀 101 室,鑰匙也應該被扔掉。
Those are the absolute basic fundamental things of being a human being.
這些絕對是做人的基本要素。
This one is from at sassy frenchie.
這個來自 sassy frenchie。
Do they know the etiquette in France is to arrive 15 minutes late at the host's house so they can prepare on time?
他們知道法國的禮儀是晚 15 分鐘到主人家,以便按時做好準備嗎?
This is a really interesting one.
這是一個非常有趣的問題。
And I think one that is changing with different generations.
我認為,隨著時代的變遷,這一點也在發生變化。
So in Britain and in France and several other countries, it did used to be the etiquette that you never arrived on time to someone's house for a dinner.
是以,在英國、法國和其他一些國家,過去確實有這樣的禮儀:你永遠不會準時到達別人家吃晚飯。
So if I said to you, come for 7.30, you would turn up at 7.40, maybe 7.45.
所以,如果我對你說,7:30 來,你會在 7:40,也許 7:45 到。
However, I think millennials and Gen Z now are slightly panicked if their guests are not there at the time they have said.
不過,我認為現在的千禧一代和 Z 世代如果客人沒有在他們約定的時間到場,他們就會略顯恐慌。
So I would say really, if someone now says to you 7.30, probably go for 7.35.
是以,我真的要說,如果現在有人對你說 7.30,你可能會選擇 7.35。
As a host, it's really nice to have those 10, 15 minutes just to have a breather, do those final preparations, have a gin and tonic.
作為東道主,能有 10 到 15 分鐘的時間喘口氣,做做最後的準備工作,喝一杯杜松子酒和奎寧水,真的很不錯。
And generally the friends that don't get the 15 minutes, 10 to 15 minute late rule, generally the ones that don't host.
一般來說,不遵守遲到 15 分鐘、10 到 15 分鐘規定的朋友,一般都是不做東道主的朋友。
At Kay Habing is asking,
凱-哈賓在問、
I'm absolutely shocked that so many people think it's shitty to recline your airplane seat.
我非常震驚,竟然有這麼多人認為把飛機座椅放平是件糟糕的事。
That's why it's there so you can recline.
這就是為什麼有它,你就可以躺下了。
I've never not reclined my seat.
我從來沒有不斜躺著坐過。
My seat stays reclined, always.
我的座椅始終保持傾斜。
Well, I think the cabin crew have got something to say at takeoff and landing about that because you're not meant to have it reclined then.
我想機艙乘務員在飛機起飛和著陸時應該會說點什麼,因為那時候你不應該把飛機靠在椅背上。
Oh yes, they're from Austin, Texas, which explains so much.
哦,對了,他們來自德克薩斯州奧斯汀,這就能解釋這麼多了。
I would suggest that if you are going to recline your seat and you are right at Kay Habing, if you want to recline your seat, you can, but don't do it during the meal service.
我建議,如果您要斜躺,而且您就在凱-哈賓(Kay Habing),如果您想斜躺,可以,但不要在用餐期間斜躺。
Do make sure you just sort of slightly check behind you as a signal that you are going to do it and you do it slowly.
確保你只是稍微檢查一下身後,作為你要做的信號,然後慢慢地做。
Don't do it violently.
不要使用暴力。
At Ms. Robot Butler says, help, this girl is telling me about horoscopes and I've literally no interest in it.
機器人巴特勒女士說:"救命啊,這個女孩在跟我講星座運勢,我對它一點興趣都沒有。
I don't know how to get out of this conversation.
我不知道該如何擺脫這場談話。
Try and pair them off with someone else.
試著讓他們與其他人配對。
Say to them, oh, I've just seen someone over there.
跟他們說,哦,我剛在那邊看到一個人。
I must go and chat to you before they go.
在他們走之前,我得去和你聊聊。
But have you met Anna?
但你見過安娜嗎?
No?
不是嗎?
I'm going to introduce this person with Anna and off you go.
我要把這個人介紹給安娜,然後你就可以走了。
It's much nicer than just going,
這比直接去要好得多、
I've got to go, bye, and then walking off.
我得走了,再見,然後就走了。
At Brave R Canine is asking, it feels like unless I hunt down the waiter that we want the check or bill, we could be there for hours.
在 Brave R Canine 的要求下,除非我找到服務員說我們要結賬或買單,否則我們可能會在那裡待上幾個小時。
Is this a thing?
有這回事嗎?
The way to get a waiter's attention is purely body language.
吸引服務員注意力的方法純粹是肢體語言。
We don't want any clicking, any clapping, or any flapping about.
我們不想聽到任何咔噠聲、鼓掌聲或拍手聲。
Instead, sort of sit back from the table, make yourself a little bit taller and try and catch their eye.
相反,你可以坐在桌子後面,讓自己變得高一點,然後試著吸引他們的目光。
As they go past, keep the hand at the level of the eye.
當他們走過去時,手要與眼睛保持在同一水平線上。
And then when they come over, please may I have the bill?
然後等他們過來,請把賬單給我。
That's all you need to say.
這就是你需要說的。
At Ed Azumi is asking,
阿墨在問、
I need a crash course on how to properly address royals.
我需要一個速成班,學習如何正確稱呼王室成員。
Well, I'm going to take the British royal family, the king and queen are referred to as their majesty, but direct conversation, you would say your majesty, and then you would call the king sir thereafter.
以英國王室為例,國王和王后被稱為陛下,但直接交談時,你會說陛下,之後你會稱國王為先生。
And Queen Camilla would be ma'am, and that's ma'am as in ham, not ma'am as in farm.
卡米拉王后將是夫人,是火腿的夫人,而不是農場的夫人。
And every other member of the royal family, if they have an HRH, title would be your royal highness, followed by sir or ma'am according to their gender.
而王室的其他成員,如果他們有一個殿下,頭銜就是殿下,後面根據他們的性別是先生還是女士。
At Salt Cheek is asking,
在 Salt Cheek 問、
I'm having an internal debacle right now.
我現在正處於內心崩潰的狀態。
A lady is standing in front of me in the train.
在火車上,一位女士站在我前面。
She looks pregnant, but not really.
她看起來像懷孕了,但其實沒有。
Do I ask, do I offer my seat?
我會問,我會讓座嗎?
There is always that slight jeopardy, that of course you might offend somebody, but the good news is, you're probably never seeing them ever again.
當然,你可能會冒犯某些人,但好消息是,你可能再也不會見到他們了。
If you wish to offer your seat to anybody who looks like they need that seat more than you, then yes, you can do that.
如果你想把座位讓給任何看起來比你更需要座位的人,那麼是的,你可以這樣做。
At Sean Cummins is saying,
肖恩-卡明斯在說、
I hold the door open for anyone always, but I would like some clarification on the optimum distance at which it is acceptable to let the door close instead of enduring that awkward long-ish wait and forcing them to break into that slightly embarrassed half jog at 2.4 metres.
我總是為任何人打開車門,但我想知道,在什麼距離上可以讓車門關閉,而不是忍受尷尬的長時間等待,迫使他們在 2.4 米處尷尬地半慢跑。
No, that's a joke.
不,那是個笑話。
There's no correct distance for me to give you.
我無法告訴你正確的距離。
It's just what feels right, but at least glance behind and check.
這只是感覺對了而已,但至少要往後看一眼,檢查一下。
At Bday1961 is asking, how do you get rid of house guests that overstay their welcome?
Bday1961 想問的是,如何擺脫逾期不歸的客人?
I have various different tactics.
我有各種不同的策略。
First of all, I might say to them, have you got a very busy day tomorrow?
首先,我可能會對他們說,你明天是不是很忙?
Or I might say to people, can I get anyone anything else?
或者我可能會對別人說,還需要什麼嗎?
Which again is another passive-aggressive piece of British etiquette to mean, please leave.
這也是英國禮儀中的另一種消極攻擊,意思是請你離開。
If all of that fails, you can just flick the lights and hope they get the message like a nightclub.
如果這一切都失敗了,你就可以像在夜總會一樣閃爍燈光,希望他們能收到資訊。
Well, those are all of the burning etiquette questions we've got time for today.
好了,以上就是我們今天有時間討論的所有禮儀問題。
Thank you very much indeed for watching Etiquette Support.
非常感謝您收看《禮儀支持》。