Name: 我希望早點知道的殘酷真相 (Harsh Truths I Wish I Knew Earlier)
Uploaded: 2024-07-18T16:22:58.000Z
Duration: 11 min 17 s

I feel like every time we sit on this couch, we're talking about something serious.

我覺得每次我們坐在沙發上 都在談論一些嚴肅的話題

現在進行式

We're talking about life, philosophy, and this video is no different.

我們談論的是生活、哲學，這段視頻也不例外。

過去簡單式

Today, I want to share with you some harsh truths that I learned mostly by force.

今天，我想與大家分享一些我在很大程度上是被迫學到的殘酷真理。

If you're not in the arena, I don't really care what you have to think.

如果你不在競技場上，我真的不在乎你怎麼想。

In life, you're going to receive a lot of opinions.

在生活中，你會收到很多意見。

And I feel like with the advent of the internet, everything is magnified.

我覺得隨著互聯網的出現，一切都被放大了。

It seems like it's everyone's job to sprinkle in some commentary with every single issue.

似乎每個人都有責任在每一期節目中加入一些評論。

And I feel like I really struggled with this in my 20s because I was extremely porous in the sense that if I heard an opinion or a criticism about me, I would see it as valuable information.

我覺得自己在 20 多歲的時候在這方面真的很掙扎，因為我的內心非常脆弱，如果聽到別人對我的意見或責備，我就會將其視為有價值的資訊。

And the issue with this was that it made me extremely formless.

而這樣做的問題是，它讓我變得極其無形。

I was always getting swayed back and forth, back and forth.

But it's free and easy to have an opinion about something.

但是，對某件事情發表意見是自由而簡單的。

And I think it's really important to learn how to filter through that noise and learn to have more of a discerning ear on what you choose to integrate into your life.

我認為，學會如何過濾噪音，學會用更有辨別力的耳朵去選擇融入生活的事物，這一點真的很重要。

And now that I'm a little older, the opinions that I value are from people that I trust, people that I actually know, people who are in the arena, who are participating.

現在我長大了一點，我所重視的意見來自我信任的人、我真正認識的人、在舞臺上的人和參與其中的人。

For instance, it's really natural to get attached to your work.

例如，對自己的工作產生感情是很自然的事情。

I mean, you put your blood, sweat, and tears in it.

我的意思是，你付出了血汗和淚水。

And then when someone just tears it apart, it can be like your soul's disintegrating.

當有人把它撕碎時，你的靈魂就像被瓦解了一樣。

I feel like this fear of judgment prevents people from creating anything.

我覺得這種對評判的恐懼阻礙了人們去創造任何東西。

I do believe that people are meant to create.

我確實相信，人註定是要創造的。

創造藝術，創造事物，傳播思想。

Humans were meant to create prolifically.

So if you create something that someone criticizes, when you look at the comment, click on their profile.

是以，如果你創作的東西受到了別人的責備，當你查看評論時，請點擊他們的個人資料。

And if they don't have anything on their page, let it roll off your back.

如果他們的頁面上沒有任何內容，那就別管了。

But if you click on their page and they're creating some sick, interesting things, then consider it.

但如果你點擊了他們的頁面，發現他們正在創作一些噁心、有趣的東西，那就考慮一下吧。

There's going to be a lot of people that give you unsolicited advice.

And if they don't know you and they're not a part of your life, or if they are, but they don't live a life that you admire or aspire to be like, then again, I think it is important to just let it roll off.

如果他們不認識你，也不是你生活的一部分，或者他們是你生活的一部分，但他們的生活並不是你所羨慕或嚮往的，那麼，我認為還是應該讓它過去。

I think the biggest lie we tell ourselves is, I don't need to write this down.

我認為我們對自己撒的最大謊就是：我不需要寫下來。

因為我們的大腦是可怕的辦公室。

They're meant for creating ideas, not for storing them.

它們是用來創造創意的，而不是用來存儲創意的。

So if you've ever had a thought of, oh man, I should probably write this down.

所以，如果你曾經有過這樣的想法：哦，天哪，我也許應該把這個寫下來。

This is also amazing for task-oriented things, but also like highlights in your life, revelations, lessons that you've learned.

這對於以任務為導向的事情也很有幫助，但也會給你的生活帶來亮點、啟示和教訓。

And this is why every time I have a therapy session, I like to write it down in my journal immediately after.

這就是為什麼每次治療結束後，我都喜歡馬上把它寫在日記裡。

It kind of like sandwiches the therapy session really well.

這有點像把治療過程打磨得非常完美。

Even if a therapy session went really bad, I like to write it down because you can learn a lot from the things that irk you.

即使治療過程非常糟糕，我也喜歡把它寫下來，因為你可以從那些讓你不快的事情中學到很多東西。

With therapy, you're investing your hard-earned money on the session.

在治療過程中，您需要投入自己的血汗錢。

So the least thing I can do for myself is to write it down so I can retain the things that I've learned.

是以，我能為自己做的最起碼的事情就是把它寫下來，這樣我就能保留我學到的東西。

In one of my most recent sessions, I had to write down the lesson of that I need to own my decisions because I can truly be the queen of flip-flopping, where I have to think long and hard before I make a decision and then just see it through.

在最近的一次會議上，我不得不寫下這樣的教訓：我需要自己做決定，因為我可能真的是翻來覆去的女王，在做決定之前，我必須深思熟慮，然後堅持到底。

And BetterHelp has been keeping me on track with this.

在這方面，BetterHelp 一直在幫助我。

I love that they have a little journaling section on their app, so you can write down your thoughts about the session and you can even share it with your therapist if you'd like.

我喜歡他們的應用程序上有一個小的日誌部分，這樣你就可以寫下你對療程的想法，如果你願意，還可以與你的治療師分享。

I also want to say thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring this video.

我還要感謝 BetterHelp 贊助本視頻。

So BetterHelp connects you to a licensed therapist who has been trained to listen and give you helpful, unbiased advice.

是以，BetterHelp 會將您與經過培訓的持證治療師聯繫起來，傾聽您的心聲，併為您提供有益、公正的建議。

You just go on my link, betterhelp.com slash Jen.

你只需點擊我的鏈接，betterhelp.com slash Jen。

From there, you just answer a few questions and then you'll be matched to a professional who's had years of experience helping people with struggles just like yours.

在那裡，您只需回答幾個問題，就會有專業人員為您匹配，他們擁有多年的經驗，可以幫助像您一樣有困難的人。

You can do it all through your phone or your computer and then you could have your sessions on like a phone call, video call, or even messaging.

您可以通過手機或電腦完成所有操作，然後您就可以通過電話、視頻通話甚至資訊等方式進行會話。

Whatever you feel the most comfortable with.

And you'll be matched to a therapist usually within 48 hours, so you can get started pretty fast.

通常在 48 小時內就會為你匹配到治療師，所以你可以很快開始治療。

So try BetterHelp if you have been interested in starting therapy and once you talk to your therapist, write down your sessions because I swear you will thank yourself for it.

是以，如果您有興趣開始治療，請嘗試 BetterHelp，一旦您與治療師交談，請記下您的治療過程，因為我發誓您會為此感謝自己。

So if you're interested, go to my link, betterhelp.com slash Jen.

如果你感興趣，請訪問我的鏈接，betterhelp.com slash Jen。

You can also choose Jen Ip during sign up and you'll get a special discount off your first month of therapy.

您還可以在註冊時選擇 Jen Ip，這樣您就可以在第一個月的治療中享受特別折扣。

You are only as smart as your ability to explain yourself to an audience.

你的聰明才智取決於你向聽眾解釋自己的能力。

Everyone is intimidated by something, you know?

每個人都會被某些東西嚇倒，你知道嗎？

And for me, it was always when I would meet very intelligent people and I realized that intellect comes in all different types of flavors.

對我來說，總是在遇到非常聰明的人時，我才意識到智力有各種不同的類型。

There's obviously like the book smart, but I feel like emotional intelligence doesn't get enough credit.

很明顯，書上說的聰明是有的，但我覺得情商並沒有得到足夠的認可。

If anything, I feel like emotional intelligence is way important than understanding how to like program with Python or talk about physics because someone who is emotionally intelligent can meet you at your level, read the energy, and communicate with you in a way that makes sense.

如果有的話，我覺得情商比懂得如何用 Python 編程或談論物理學重要得多，因為情商高的人能從你的水準出發，讀懂你的能量，並以一種有意義的方式與你交流。

So in my early 20s, I went to this really random TechCrunch event.

在我 20 歲出頭的時候，我參加了一個非常偶然的 TechCrunch 活動。

So I was in this room full of investors, programmers, scientists, writers, journalists.

所以，我在這個房間裡，坐滿了投資者、程序員、科學家、作家和記者。

I felt completely out of my league because I felt like everyone was speaking a different language.

我覺得自己完全不在狀態，因為我覺得每個人說的都是不同的語言。

Like they were speaking English, but I was like, what the is going on?

就像他們在說英語，但我當時想，這到底是怎麼回事？

But as I've gained more confidence in myself, I have learned that you are only as smart as your ability to explain yourself to your audience.

但是，隨著我對自己越來越有信心，我認識到，只有當你有能力向聽眾解釋自己的時候，你才是最聰明的。

A better way to say this is if you can explain your idea to a five-year-old or a senior citizen, that's when you really, really know your stuff.

更好的說法是，如果你能向一個五歲的孩子或老人解釋你的想法，那就說明你真的非常瞭解自己的東西。

So the next time you find yourself in a conversation, especially if it's like a one-on-one and you're not like grasping what they're saying, do not be afraid to say, hey, what did you mean by that?

是以，下次當你發現自己處於對話中，尤其是一對一的對話中，而你又不明白對方在說什麼時，不要害怕說："嘿，你剛才說的是什麼意思？

And if they have the patience and ability to find a way to help you understand what they're saying, it's like a win-win.

如果他們有耐心、有能力想辦法幫助你理解他們所說的話，這就像是雙贏。

You learn something and they have the honor to teach someone something.

你學到了一些東西，他們也有幸教給別人一些東西。

Honestly, the worst case scenario is they just get frustrated and like don't want to explain to you or roll their eyes.

老實說，最壞的情況就是他們很沮喪，不想跟你解釋，或者翻白眼。

Then you've honestly dodged a bullet because you don't want a person like that in your life.

那你就真的躲過一劫了，因為你不想讓這樣的人出現在你的生活中。

So if anything, just don't get caught up on people's intellectual superiority and just focus on leaning into connecting and your own curiosity.

是以，如果有什麼需要的話，就不要被人們的智力優越感所迷惑，只需專注於與人溝通和自己的好奇心。

As you live, you just start picking up weird, bad habits.

人活著，就會養成一些奇怪的壞習慣。

And if you've ever wanted to shed one, remember this proverb, how you do one thing is how you do everything.

如果你曾想捨棄一個，請記住這句諺語：如何做一件事，就是如何做所有事。

So these days I've been trying to be a more detailed person because I find myself just rushing things a lot.

是以，這些天我一直在努力做一個更細緻的人，因為我發現自己經常匆忙行事。

Like I'm good at getting things done, but the execution can be a little sloppy.

就像我很擅長把事情做好，但執行起來可能有點馬虎。

So the best way to change, to kind of like correct this behavior is to start behaving in a detail-oriented way with every action that I'm doing at that moment.

是以，改變和糾正這種行為的最好辦法，就是開始以注重細節的方式對待我當時所做的每一個動作。

So when I'm washing dishes now, I really take the time to scrub every little thing out of the bowl.

所以我現在洗碗的時候，真的會花時間把碗裡的每一個小東西都擦乾淨。

When I'm driving, I'm like carefully scanning the road, making sure that I am observing everything.

當我開車時，我就像在仔細地掃視道路，確保我觀察到了一切。

When I'm writing a birthday card, I type out my first draft and then put it on the paper.

在寫生日賀卡時，我會先打好初稿，然後把它放在紙上。

All of these small actions will trickle down into every aspect of your life.

所有這些微小的行動都會滲透到你生活的方方面面。

So if you've ever wanted to change something about yourself, start with the exact task that you're doing at that moment.

是以，如果你想改變自己的某些方面，就從你此時此刻正在做的任務開始吧。

And then everything will start to add up because you're putting in that same level of integrity and respect into everything that you do.

然後，一切都會開始累積起來，因為你所做的每一件事都融入了同樣的誠信和尊重。

I know we're all adults here, but I think the lesson of a little goes a long way is something to keep in mind.

我知道我們都是成年人，但我認為 "一分耕耘，一分收穫 "的道理應該牢記在心。

Now, this is something that I have learned the hard way because I tend to be a maximalist.

現在，這是我好不容易才學會的，因為我傾向於追求極致。

Like if I'm having a good time, I'm like more, more.

就像如果我玩得開心，我就會想要更多，更多。

And in party terms, it's called chasing the dragon.

The law of diminishing returns is such a real thing.

收益遞減法則就是這樣一個真實的東西。

Like the first dopamine hit that you get, like nothing will compare to that.

就像你第一次獲得的多巴胺衝擊一樣，沒有什麼能與之相比。

Like the more times you do it, it gets less and less rewarding.

就像你做的次數越多，收穫就會越來越少。

For example, like when I go out, the first two drinks are always the best.

舉個例子，比如我出門在外，前兩杯總是最好喝的。

They call it the two drink enthusiasm for a reason.

他們稱之為 "兩杯熱情 "是有原因的。

And these days I like to just keep that in mind because if I'm not having a good time after two drinks, that means the vibe is weird or maybe like I'm just not feeling it.

如今，我喜歡記住這一點，因為如果我喝了兩杯之後還不盡興，那就說明氣氛很奇怪，或者我就是沒感覺。

Maybe like my body is telling me something.

也許就像我的身體在告訴我什麼。