Check it out, Peter.

看看吧，彼得。

Our minds are one, and this is our astral body.

我們的思想是一體的，這就是我們的星體。

Never have I felt so violated.

我從未感到如此受到侵犯。

Note to self, do not throw supervillains at buses full of orphans.

注意，不要把超級壞蛋扔到滿是孤兒的公車上。

We bought the secret headquarters with the grant you got from the National Endowment for Superheroes.

我們用國家超級英雄基金會給你的撥款買下了祕密總部。

When was the last time you dusted this secret entrance?

你上次打掃這個祕密入口是什麼時候？

Just look at that wallpaper, hideous.

看看那壁紙，真難看。

Try out some superhero costumes for me.

為我試穿一些超級英雄的服裝。

Oh, forget it.

哦，算了吧。

Just wear the shirt.

就穿這件襯衫吧。

No, please.

請不要

We're the last one.

我們是最後一個。

Please, please, please.

求你了，求你了，求你了

Hello, Turlock Inquisitor.

你好，特爾洛克審判官

I'd like to take out a classified ad.

我想刊登一則分類廣告。

Single worm superhero seeks supervillain for climactic battle between good and evil.

單蟲超級英雄尋找超級反派，展開正義與邪惡的高潮之戰。

No fatties.

沒有胖子

I'm mad, I tell you.

我很生氣，我告訴你。

No, Peter, not on the table.

不，彼得，不在桌子上。

What did that dog just leave on the table?

那隻狗剛剛在桌上留下了什麼？

I don't know, but I think we've found our new series.

我不知道，但我想我們已經找到了新的系列。

Oh, dear, you ugly old ladder.

哦，親愛的，你這個醜陋的老梯子。

You ugly, ugly.

你這個醜八怪

Well, Evil Jim is right where he belongs.

好吧，邪惡吉姆就在他該在的地方。

Serving a two-month sentence in a minimum security prison?

在最低戒備監獄服刑兩個月？

Don't question our system of justice, my little pink old friend.

不要質疑我們的司法制度，我的粉紅色老朋友。

We now return you to Baywatch.

現在，我們把您送回 "海灣守望"。

Oh, um, someone's drowning.

有人溺水了

I better put on my bikini.

我最好穿上比基尼

Oh, all right.

哦，好吧

Baywatch is out.

海灣女警》已經停播。

Shark attack.

鯊魚襲擊

I better put on my bikini.

我最好穿上比基尼

I have a long and floppy head.

我的頭又長又軟。

I went to bed at night.

我晚上睡覺了。

Call me Ethel.

叫我艾瑟爾

Is there a Mr. Bleveridge?

有布勒維裡奇先生嗎？

Nah, I just use a Mrs. to keep the men off.

不，我只是用夫人來擋住男人。

Dig me, I'm a flapper.

挖我吧，我是個豔舞女郎。

The old superhero's home.

老超級英雄的家

Sorry?

什麼？

The elderly.

老人

No, the senior.

不，是前輩。

All right, fine.

好吧

The chronologically gifted superhero's home.

天才超級英雄的家

Can we please move on before they come up with a new euphemism?

我們能不能在他們想出新的委婉語之前繼續前進？

Can't say anything fun these days, can you?

這年頭說什麼都不好玩，不是嗎？

A themed letter from President Truman.

杜魯門總統的一封主題信。

Thank you for your kind offer to end World War II, but we have a bomb we want to try out.

感謝您結束第二次世界大戰的好意，但我們有一枚炸彈想試一試。

Aren't you going to remove your helmet in the presence of a lady?

你在女士面前不摘頭盔嗎？

A lady?

女士？

Okay, okay, a dog in a dress.

好吧，好吧，一隻穿裙子的狗。

Just take off your helmet, pinhead.

摘下你的頭盔吧，傻瓜。

Hey, man.

嘿，夥計

Groovy.

Groovy.

Kids today, with their long hair and hippie clothes.

現在的孩子，留著長髮，穿著嬉皮士的衣服。

Hey, he looks different.

嘿，他看起來不一樣了。

Well, have you seen the Great Worm Spirit before?

你見過大蟲精嗎？

He saved my life in the NARM, man.

他在NARM救了我的命，夥計。

It was the Mekong Delta Sea.

那是湄公河三角洲海域。

Charlie was moving in hard and fast.

查理用力地快速移動著。

Grunts were getting shot to pieces all around me.

我周圍的咕嚕兵都被打成了篩子。

It was a nightmare, man, a screaming nightmare.

那是個噩夢，夥計，一個尖叫的噩夢。

Then the Great Worm Spirit pulled me into a foxhole.

然後，大蟲精把我拉進了一個散兵坑。

I'll never forget it, man.

我永遠不會忘記的

Not till my dying day, man.

直到我死的那一天

Our story opens at the bastion of all that is pure, noble, and good.

我們的故事從純潔、高尚和善良的堡壘開始。

Oh, sorry. Actually, it opens at the White House.

哦，對不起實際上，它是在白宮開幕的。

Then take a look at this.

那就看看這個。

No!

不

You could keep your country!

你可以保留你的國家！

Say, what's on that paper that scared Cyclo so badly?

那張紙上寫了什麼，把 Cyclo 嚇成這樣？

Just the national pet.

只是國家寵物。

Wait a second.

等一下

I know what will bring in more viewers.

我知道怎樣才能吸引更多觀眾。

Okay, two things.

好吧，有兩件事。

One, this isn't going to work.

第一，這行不通。

And two, my bikini is giving me a snuggy.

其次，我的比基尼讓我很不舒服。

I guess we shouldn't have gone for the thong thing.

我想我們不應該穿丁字褲的。

Jim, that's your pants phone. Aren't you going to answer?

吉姆，那是你褲子上的電話你不接嗎？

In a sec. I'm kind of enjoying it.

等一下我還挺享受的

Yeah, yeah, okay.

是啊，是啊，好吧。

I have eaten my words and found them bitter as the lingering regret from a failed love affair.

我吃過自己說過的話，發現它們苦澀得就像一段失敗戀情中揮之不去的遺憾。

Excuse me. That ape was my husband.

打擾一下那隻猩猩是我丈夫

Not counting for taste.

不計味道。

What the heck is going on here?

這到底是怎麼回事？

Nothing, nothing, nothing at all.

什麼都沒有，什麼都沒有，什麼都沒有。

Um, question, how can your monkey communicate with the apes?

嗯，問題是，你的猴子如何與猿猴交流？

Apes and monkeys aren't the same thing.

猩猩和猴子不是一回事。

Actually, he is a chimpanzee, a member of the ape family.

實際上，他是一隻黑猩猩，屬於猿科動物。

He has that tail stuck on and he likes people to call him a monkey.

他喜歡別人叫他 "猴子"。

Um, okay, why?

嗯，好吧，為什麼？

He feels that he's a monkey trapped in the body of an ape.

他覺得自己是一隻被困在猿猴身體裡的猴子。

Psychedelic.

迷幻

I know, I know, don't get me started.

我知道，我知道，不要讓我開始。

Let's see, seborrhea, trichinosis.

讓我想想，脂溢性脫髮、毛囊蟲病。

Ah, turning into apes.

啊，變成了猿猴。

It says the cure is peanuts.

上面說治療方法是花生。

I'm cured, cured.

我痊癒了，痊癒了。

Not effective on worms, puppies or puppies with worms.

對蠕蟲、幼犬或有蠕蟲的幼犬無效。

Ew.

Ew.

With those puppies.

還有那些小狗

Did you say puppies?

你是說小狗嗎？

Puppies.

小狗

What in the heck with it?

這到底是怎麼回事？

Let's just toss a coin.

讓我們拋硬幣吧。

Pull it in the air.

拉到空中

Toss a coin.

擲硬幣

Me and my big mouth.

我和我的大嘴巴

Ooh, frozen yogurt.

哦，凍酸奶

Hmm.

嗯

Today's topic, kids who caught their moms kissing Santa Claus and moms who are proud of it.

今天的主題是：被媽媽逮到親吻聖誕老人的孩子們和為此感到自豪的媽媽們。

Where did you hear all this anyway?

你到底是從哪裡聽到這些的？

The voices in my head told me.

我腦海中的聲音告訴我。

Hey, hey, hey, when we're on the clock we keep our eyes on our work.

嘿，嘿，嘿，當我們在工作時，我們的眼睛要盯著我們的工作。

You don't want to know what happens if the big guy catches you slacking.

你不會想知道如果你偷懶被大人物發現會發生什麼。

Whoa.

哇哦

Let's just say it involves figgy pudding.

這麼說吧，它涉及無花果布丁。

Ew.

Ew.

It was you.

是你

What snatched Santa, wasn't it?

是什麼搶走了聖誕老人，不是嗎？

Spill the beans or a hard reindeer's going to fall.

把豆子說出來，不然馴鹿就要摔下來了。

It wasn't me, I swear.

不是我，我發誓

It was some insect with a butt the size of a Macy's Parade balloon.

那是一種屁股有梅西遊行氣球那麼大的昆蟲。

Rush Limbaugh.

拉什-林堡

No, Jim.

不，吉姆

Queen Slug for a butt.

蛞蝓女王的屁股

Oh, right.

哦，對了。

Sorry, wrong room.

對不起，走錯房間了。

Go to sleep.

睡覺吧

If it's going to upset you this much, you shouldn't watch the news.

如果會讓你如此心煩意亂，你就不應該看新聞。