Like, it doesn't matter which city and which park you go to.

比如，不管去哪個城市、哪個公園，

You wake up, 6.30 in the morning.

早上 6 點半，你醒來，

You see about 250 old Asian people all doing this shit at the same time.

你會看到大約 250 個亞洲老人同時在做這種事。

For like three hours.

做大概三個小時。

Like, what the fuck are they doing?

他們到底在幹什麼？

And my dad was trying to explain to me.

我爸爸試圖向我解釋。

He's like, "Oh, they warming up to do Tai Chi."

他說：「哦，他們在為打太極熱身。」

I'm like, for how long?

我說：「熱身多久？」

And ironically, Tai Chi is a warm-up in itself.

諷刺的是，太極本身就是一種熱身運動。

So they're warming up to warm up for nothing.

所以他們是在白白熱身。

And I think to a lot of Americans, like, people think that Tai Chi is some, like, exotic Chinese secret, some oriental art.

我認為對很多美國人來說，人們認為太極拳是某種異國情調的中國祕密，是某種東方藝術。

No, Tai Chi is just exercise for people who are too old to exercise.

不，太極只是為那些年紀太大不能運動的人準備的運動。

Let's not exoticize these things, you know?

我們不要把這些東西異國化，你知道嗎？

It's actually super simple to do Tai Chi.

其實，打太極超級簡單。

I went to the park, watched those old people for like an hour, and I learned how to do Tai Chi.

我去了公園，看了那些老人大概一個小時，也學會了打太極。

Very simple.

非常簡單。

All you got to do is two things.

你只需做兩件事。

All you got to do to do Tai Chi is pretend you're wiping down a window and getting a blowjob at the same time.

要打太極拳，你只需要假裝一邊擦窗戶一邊被吹喇叭就行了。

You guys seem skeptical.

你們似乎持懷疑態度。

Allow me to demonstrate.

請允許我示範一下。

It's very simple.

這很簡單。

All you got to do, you get in your little stance, right?

你要做的，就是擺好你的小站姿，對嗎？

Okay?

好嗎？

And then you wipe down a window, and now you get a blowjob.

然後你擦窗戶，現在你現在被吹喇叭。

And then you lift her head up because you're a gentleman, you know?

然後你把她的頭抬起來，因為你是個紳士，知道嗎？

That's Tai Chi.

這就是太極。

Thank you.

謝謝。