So, it's very frequently the case for me that if I say anything about how young women might conduct themselves so that their lives would turn out less than dreadfully, let's say, that's when I get the most caustic and vicious YouTube comments.

是以，我經常會遇到這樣的情況：如果我說了一些關於年輕女性如何做才能讓自己的生活變得不那麼糟糕的事情，比方說，我就會收到YouTube上最尖刻、最惡毒的評論。

Is that real?

這是真的嗎？

No.

不

Absolutely.

當然可以。

It's the opposite for me. Well, let's delve into that.

對我來說恰恰相反。好吧，讓我們深入探討一下這個問題。

Well, you're a female talking to females, and so that has something, because the comments that come my way are often variants of something like, "What's this old white guy doing, telling us what to do with our bodies?" It's like... Well, I meant more in that when I talk about, I talk about both genders, obviously, but when I talk about men and what I think they could do, that's when I get the most vitriol. I see.

你是個女性 在和女性交流 所以這也是有意義的 因為我聽到的評論 通常都是類似於 "這個老白人在幹什麼 告訴我們該怎麼對待自己的身體 "這樣的變體這就像...我的意思是，當我談到兩性的時候，很明顯 但當我談到男人，談到我認為他們能做的事的時候 我受到的謾罵最多我明白了

OK, OK.

好的，好的

So, there's probably just a cross-sex thing going on.

所以，這可能只是一個跨性別的問題。

I'm sure there is. OK, so you're 23.

肯定有的好吧，你已經 23 歲了。

You're married. 22. 22.

你結婚了22.22.

Sorry.

對不起。

Oh, I don't know why I thought you were 23.

哦，我不知道為什麼我以為你才 23 歲。

Now I'm making you older than you are. 22.

現在我讓你變得比實際年齡還老。22.

You're married.

你結婚了

Yes.

是的。

You have a well-developed career.

你的事業發展良好。

Yes.

是的。

OK, and I presume you're relatively pleased about both those things.

好吧，我猜你對這兩件事都比較滿意。

Very pleased. Do you have plans for a family?

非常高興。你有成家的打算嗎？

Yes.

是的。

How soon?

多快？

I would love it as soon as possible.

我希望能儘快得到它。

How are you going to manage it?

你打算如何管理？

It's been a lot of what we've been working through right now.

這就是我們現在所經歷的很多事情。

My mom is going to move to be near us, which I could not be more grateful for.

我媽媽要搬到我們家附近，我對此感激不盡。

And my husband truly turned his life upside down, turned his career upside down to make sure that he could be flexible for our family, so that he could balance when I am traveling or when he's traveling for work, then I can be at home.

我丈夫真的顛覆了他的生活，顛覆了他的職業生涯，以確保他能為我們的家庭靈活變通，這樣他就能在我出差或他出差工作時保持平衡，然後我就能在家。

But he is running his own business now, which I think he had always wanted to do.

但他現在正在經營自己的生意，我想這是他一直想做的。

And then when we started dating and got really serious, I think he realized, like, this is something I want to do for our family.

當我們開始約會並認真對待時，我想他意識到，這是我想為我們的家庭做的事情。

I think it pushed him in that direction. OK, so why did you decide to get married so young?

我覺得這促使他朝那個方向發展。好吧，那你為什麼決定這麼年輕就結婚呢？

I guess it's not, you know, by historical standards, it's not necessary.

我想這不是，你知道，按照歷史標準，這沒有必要。

In current standards, it's not.

按照目前的標準，它不是。

How old is your husband?

你丈夫多大了？

He is 30.

他今年 30 歲。

OK, OK, OK. So, all right, all right.

好的，好的，好的好了 好了

So, you married someone who is… So, the optimal gap between men and women for age cross-culturally is something approximating four years, right?

所以，你嫁給了一個......那麼，跨文化的最佳男女年齡差距大約是四年，對嗎？

So, women prefer men who are older.

是以，女性更喜歡年長的男性。

This is something to keep in mind when you're looking at, I think, when you're looking at the political opinions of men and women, young men and women.

我認為，當你觀察男性和女性、年輕男性和女性的政治觀點時，這一點要牢記在心。

I don't think the right groups to compare are men and women of the same age.

我不認為同年齡的男性和女性是合適的比較群體。

I think the right groups to compare are women who are four years younger than men and see where they're headed, right?

我認為比較的正確群體是比男性年輕四歲的女性，看看她們的發展方向，對嗎？

Because, well, for the reasons I just laid out, the peers of young men aren't women their same age or older.

因為，好吧，基於我剛才闡述的原因，年輕男性的同齡人並不是同齡或更年長的女性。

Their peers are four years younger. Absolutely.

他們的同齡人比他們小四歲。 完全正確。

And so, my suspicions, and you're talking to, because you're on YouTube, you're talking to a lot of young men, but I think, first of all, where the men go, the women will follow.

是以，我懷疑，你在和很多年輕男性交談，因為你在 YouTube 上，但我認為，首先，男人去哪裡，女人就會跟到哪裡。

I think that's how things work, fundamentally.

我認為，從根本上說，事情就是這樣的。

And I completely agree with that gap.

我完全同意這種差距。

And then I think ours made sense, you know, being a little bigger because I, you know, owned a home.

然後，我覺得我們的房子大一點是有道理的，因為我，你知道，我有自己的房子。

I'm, you know, already had graduated college.

我已經大學畢業了。

I was a successful, stable career.

我的事業成功而穩定。

And so, in terms of our stages of life, we were completely compatible and on the same page, as well as our values and where we were emotionally and the things that we wanted and the timeline that we want. But I chose to get married because I believe that it is the best foundation that I could have given my life, I think, as well.

是以，就我們的人生階段而言，我們是完全一致的，我們的價值觀、我們的情感、我們想要的東西和我們想要的時間表也是一致的。但我選擇了結婚，因為我相信這是我能給自己的生活打下的最好基礎。

Why not single, free, sex in the city girl?

為什麼不是單身、自由、城市裡的性愛女孩？

No, I'm dead serious.

不，我是認真的。

Why not that?

為什麼不是那個？

I mean, you had the opportunity, right?

我的意思是，你有機會，對嗎？

Yeah.

是啊

It sounds just awful.

聽起來太可怕了。

Why? It sounds lonely because I crave companionship.

為什麼？聽起來很孤獨，因為我渴望有人陪伴。

Um...

嗯...

Why not one person after another, then?

那為什麼不是一個人接著一個人呢？

What's the meaning of that?

這是什麼意思？

It doesn't, and that's not...

它沒有，這不是...

Diversity.

多樣性。

No desire for it.

沒有慾望

I wanted to get married because... Do you think that there are women who have a desire for that?

我想結婚是因為你覺得會有女人有這種願望嗎？

I'm sure.

我確定

Well, are you?

那麼，你呢？

I'm not so sure. Well, I think that they tell themselves that they do, but I don't think that intrinsically we're not wired for that.

我不太確定。嗯，我覺得他們會告訴自己是這樣的，但我不認為從本質上講，我們不具備這樣的能力。

If you go back to...

如果你回到...

I was talking about this on my show recently.

我最近在節目中談到了這個問題。

If we think of anthropologically, biologically, men are designed to be able to sow the seeds, to be able to go around.

如果我們從人類學和生物學的角度來考慮，男人就是為了能夠播種，能夠四處奔波。

They can have as many children with as many women as possible.

他們可以和儘可能多的女人生儘可能多的孩子。

Women, it takes nine months to grow a baby.

女人，生孩子需要九個月的時間。

We have one egg every month.

我們每個月都有一個雞蛋。

And it's like we protect that.

這就像我們要保護它一樣。

And I think just from that very primal point of view, we are intrinsically designed to seek out one protector that can feed. I should offer a correction to that characterization of men.

我認為，從最原始的角度來看，我們天生就會尋找能夠養活自己的保護者。我想糾正一下對男人的描述。

I think that's more radically true of immature men than it is radically true of immature women.

我認為，不成熟的男人比不成熟的女人更容易出現這種情況。

And I think the reason for that is the reason you just outlined, which is because women pay a way higher price for sex, that even if they're immature, they're not going to be tilted as far in the direction of short-term mating strategy, let's say.

我認為原因就像你剛才說的，因為女性為性付出的代價更高，所以即使她們不成熟，也不會向短期交配策略的方向傾斜。

I don't think that's intrinsic to the male nature.

我不認為這是男性固有的天性。

I really don't.

我真的不知道。

I think it's intrinsic to the immature male nature.

我認為這是未成熟男性的固有天性。

Here's part of the reason I think that. So I studied antisocial criminal behavior for a long time, like 15 years, a long time, especially in terms of its development across the lifespan.

這就是我這麼想的部分原因。我研究反社會犯罪行為已經有很長一段時間了，大概有15年，很長一段時間，尤其是研究它在整個生命週期中的發展。

And so one of the correlates of delinquent antisocial and then criminal behavior for men is multiple early short-term sexual partners, right?

是以，男性違法反社會行為和犯罪行為的一個相關因素就是多個早期短期性伴侶，對嗎？

So it's associated specifically with the criminal bent.

是以，它特別與犯罪傾向有關。

Well, there's more to it, too.

嗯，還有其他原因。

So imagine that there are some men who are tilted more towards long-term relationships and stable responsibility, let's say, that goes along with that.

是以，想象一下，有些男性更傾向於長期關係和穩定的責任，比方說，與之相伴的是長期關係和穩定的責任。

And there are some men who are tilted more towards love-them-and-leave-them short-term, you know, excitement, oat-sowing, hedonism.

而有些男人則更傾向於短期內愛他們並離開他們，你知道，刺激、播種、享樂主義。

Okay, well, we know the personality characteristics.

好吧，我們知道了性格特點。

So the personality characteristics of the men who preferentially prefer one-night stands.

是以，那些更喜歡一夜情的男人的性格特點是什麼？

They're dark, tetrad types.

他們是黑暗的四分體類型。

They're narcissistic.

他們很自戀。

It's all about them, even though they haven't done anything to deserve it.

這一切都是為了他們自己，儘管他們並沒有做任何應得的事情。

They're psychopathic, so that makes them predatory parasites.

他們心理變態，所以他們是掠奪性的寄生蟲。

They're Machiavellian.

他們是馬基雅維利主義者。

They use their language and their actions to manipulate for short-term benefit, and they tilt towards sadism. And so I think all things considered, as I said, immature men and immature women, they tilt towards hedonic, immediate gratification.

他們用自己的語言和行動來操縱他人以獲得短期利益，他們傾向於虐待狂。是以，我認為，就像我說的，不成熟的男人和不成熟的女人，他們都傾向於享樂主義和即時滿足。

It's a hallmark of immaturity.

這是不成熟的標誌。

And so there will be more short-term maters among men because women are punished brutally for their sexual misbehavior.

是以，男性中會有更多的短期性伴侶，因為女性會因性行為不當而受到殘酷的懲罰。

But thinking that that's an intrinsic part of masculinity, that's a mistake.

但如果認為這是男子氣概的內在組成部分，那就大錯特錯了。

It's not.

不是這樣的。

It's an intrinsic part of immature masculinity.

這是不成熟男性氣質的內在組成部分。

It's a much better way to put it.

這樣說要好得多。

Right? And this is something young women need to know.

對嗎？這是年輕女性需要了解的。

Because when they're allowing themselves, let's say, to be exploited sexually, they're facilitating the dark, tetrad types, right?

比方說，當她們允許自己受到性剝削時，她們就是在為黑暗的四分體類型提供便利，對嗎？

They're facilitating the psychopaths, the narcissists, the Machiavellians.

他們為精神病患者、自戀狂和馬基雅維利主義者提供便利。

Worse, they're facilitating the sadists.

更糟糕的是，他們在為虐待狂提供便利。

And so why not have a short-term relationship with a man who's interested in short-term relationships?

那麼，為什麼不和一個對短期關係感興趣的男人建立短期關係呢？

The answer is, well, is that the sort of person that you want to be associated with?

答案是，你希望與這樣的人交往嗎？

Yeah.

是啊