That's right, hold fucking tight.

沒錯，他媽的抓緊了

Commit.

承諾。

Don't be the one that's always threatening to leave, too.

不要總是威脅要離開。

That's right, love hard or get the fuck out.

沒錯，要麼努力愛，要麼滾蛋。

If you're gonna leave, leave right now.

如果你要走，現在就走。

That's right, at the show, right now.

沒錯，就在展會現場，就在現在。

That's right, just break up.

沒錯，就是分手。

We got break-up boosters.

我們有分手促進劑

We got break-up boosters.

我們有分手促進劑

That's right, just break up.

沒錯，就是分手。

We got break-up boosters in the back.

我們後面有分手促進劑。

That's right, but before you leave, you better make sure you got some options.

沒錯，但在你離開之前，最好確保你有一些選擇。

That's right, because some of y'all have been in a relationship so long, you don't know how ugly you are.

沒錯，因為你們中的一些人戀愛的時間太長了，都不知道自己有多醜。

laughter

歡

That's right, love hard or get the fuck out.

沒錯，要麼努力愛，要麼滾蛋。

Okay, you hear me?

好了，聽到了嗎？

I'm gonna tell you right now.

我現在就告訴你

If you're in a relationship, all you should be doing is fucking and going places.

如果你們是戀人關係，你們應該做的就是做愛和去各種地方。

That's all you should be doing.

這就是你應該做的。

Having sex and traveling.

做愛和旅行

Fucking and going places.

做愛和去別的地方

You should be coming and going.

你應該來來去去。

laughter

歡

That's all you should be doing, okay?

這就是你應該做的，好嗎？

People say, oh, relationships are tough.

人們會說，哦，人際關係很艱難。

No, they're not.

不，他們不是。

They're only tough when one person's working on it.

只有在一個人工作的時候，它們才是堅硬的。

That's right.

這就對了。

Two people can move a couch real easy.

兩個人就能輕鬆搬動一張沙發。

laughter

歡

One person can't move it at all.

一個人根本搬不動。

That's right.

這就對了。

If you're in a relationship, let me try to help you right now.

如果你正在談戀愛，現在就讓我來幫你。

Okay, I'm trying to fucking help you, okay?

好吧，我想他媽的幫你，好嗎？

Okay, first, rule one.

好吧，首先，規則一。

Stop competing.

停止競爭

It's not a fucking competition.

這他媽不是比賽

That's right.

這就對了。

Her success is your success, and your success is her success.

她的成功就是你的成功，你的成功就是她的成功。

Stop competing.

停止競爭

Stop it, okay?

別說了，好嗎？

Number two, number two, okay?

二號，二號，好嗎？

There is no equality in a relationship.

關係中不存在平等。

It's like, we're equals. No, you're not.

這就像，我們是平等的。不，你們不是

You're both there to serve.

你們都是去服務的。

You are in the service industry, okay?

你從事的是服務行業，好嗎？

That's right.

這就對了。

When you're in a relationship, you're in a band.

當你談戀愛時，你就是一個樂隊。

You're in a fucking band.

你是他媽的樂隊成員

And when you're in a band, you have roles that you play in the band.

當你加入一個樂隊時，你在樂隊中扮演著不同的角色。

Sometimes you sing lead, and sometimes you're on tambourine.

有時你唱主角，有時你打手鼓。

laughter

歡

And if you're on tambourine, play it right.

如果你要打手鼓，那就好好打。

Play it right.

正確演奏。

Play it with a fucking smile.

帶著他媽的微笑演奏。

Because nobody wants to see a mad tambourine player.

因為沒人想看到一個瘋狂的手鼓手。

laughter

歡

That's right. If you're going to play tambourine, you play that motherfucker right.

沒錯如果你要打手鼓，你就得打好它

You play it with your ass, like, tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.

你用你的屁股演奏，就像，手鼓，混蛋，手鼓。

Tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.

手鼓，混蛋，手鼓

A tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.

手鼓，混蛋，手鼓。

A tambourine, motherfucker, tambourine.

手鼓，混蛋，手鼓。

laughter

歡

Play it like Tina Turner.

像蒂娜-特納那樣演奏

laughter

歡

That's right. You're in a band.

沒錯你在一個樂隊裡

It's like Hall and Oates.

就像霍爾和奧茨。

I don't know what Oates does.

我不知道奧茨是幹什麼的。

laughter

歡

But Hall never had a hit record without him.

但沒有他，霍爾從未有過一張暢銷唱片。

laughter and applause

笑聲掌聲