Name: 所有 Doofenshmirtz 的背景故事 (All Doofenshmirtz Backstories)
Uploaded: 2024-05-28T04:36:25.000Z
Duration: 13 min 56 s

It all began on the day of my actual birth both of my parents failed to show up by the age of five

這一切都始於我真正出生的那一天，我的父母在我五歲時都沒有出現。

基礎被動語態

I was forced to throw my own surprise party. I've got the goat Jesus the goat cheesiest place in all of

我不得不舉辦自己的驚喜派對。我找到了全美奶酪最豐富的地方--山羊耶穌。

Drusselstein many of my closest friends were there

Drusselstein 我的許多摯友都在那裡

But one should never walk the paths of Drusselstein with uncovered dunkelberry cake lest the dunkelberry bats swarm

但是，在德魯塞爾斯坦的小路上，千萬不能不吃灌籃高手蛋糕，以免灌籃高手蝙蝠蜂擁而至。

Don't make a mountain out of them all here. It's a bully named Boris who always wore big black boots

別在這裡小題大做。這是一個叫鮑里斯的惡霸，他總是穿著一雙黑色的大靴子

They called him big black boots Boris the bully

He was always kicking sand in my face when I was in the sandbox

我在沙坑裡的時候，他總是往我臉上踢沙子

You'll see there were only two things that made my miserable childhood bearable my giant pet cockroach

你會發現，只有兩樣東西讓我的悲慘童年變得可以忍受 我的大寵物蟑螂

Horfrost and garlic ice cream. I love these two things so much. I wondered if combining them would

賀霜和大蒜冰淇淋。我非常喜歡這兩樣東西。我想知道把它們結合在一起會不會

Exponentially increase my enjoyment of them when I was young I entered a science field with my very first in a door

當我年輕時進入科學領域的第一扇門時，我對它們的喜愛呈指數級增長

I was I wasn't very clever with names yet

Just as I was about to demonstrate my invention to the judges a kid with a baking soda volcano stole the show

正當我準備向評審展示我的發明時，一個拿著小蘇打火山的孩子搶了風頭

When I was a young boy my mother would never let me swim in public pools

當我還是個小男孩時，我的母親從不讓我在公共泳池游泳

Reminds me of a high dive I knew as a kid at the Gimmelstump public wetness maker

這讓我想起了小時候在 Gimmelstump 公共溼潤製造廠認識的一位高臺跳水運動員

It wasn't so much of a pool as it was just a well

與其說它是一個水池，不如說它只是一口井

Let's just say it only had water in it on alternating Thursdays and leave it at that

就說它只在輪流的星期四有水，就這樣吧

Anywho in Gimmelstump jumping from the high dive was an important rite of passage

總之，在金梅爾斯坦普，從高處跳下是一種重要的成人儀式

With all those people looking and laughing at me I just couldn't do it

看著那麼多人嘲笑我，我實在做不到

After that my father and I became increasingly distant

從那以後，我和父親的關係變得越來越疏遠

Back when I was just a little Stumpel my father came home with a brand new Spitzenhound puppy that he won in a game of pokey goozen with a stick

當我還是一個小笨墩的時候，我父親帶著一隻嶄新的斯比特岑獵犬小狗回家，這是他在一場用棍子玩 "pokey goozen "的遊戲中贏來的。

My father said the dog was like the son he never had and named him only son

我父親說這隻狗就像他從未有過的兒子，並給它取名為 "獨子"。

Only son became an award-winning show dog bringing my father fame and fortune

唯一的兒子成為一隻屢獲殊榮的表演犬，為父親帶來了名利

Back in Gimmelstump in the days of my youth

回到我年輕時的金梅爾斯圖姆普

杜芬什米爾茨家族是一個值得驕傲的家族

But those were lean times for my father and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed

但那是我父親最困難的時期，我們心愛的草坪小人被收回了

Who would protect our Zatzenfruit garden from witch's spells and wood trolls?

誰來保護我們的 Zatzenfruit 花園不受巫術和木怪的侵害？

From a tender age my father decided that it would be me

While the other children played kick the stumper and make dunkelberries I would stand for hours

當其他孩子玩踢毽子和做 "灌籃高手 "的遊戲時，我會站上幾個小時

All through the cold night as the Spitzenhound howled

整個寒冷的夜晚，斯比特岑獵犬都在嚎叫

The next year I tried again with my even biggerinator

第二年，我又帶著我的更大的發電機

And again my thunder was stolen by a baking soda volcano

我的雷聲又一次被小蘇打火山搶走了

Back in Gimmelstump in the depths of my childhood

回到我童年深處的金梅爾斯圖姆普

My parents were expecting a brand new baby girl

我的父母即將迎來一個全新的女嬰

My mother spent months knitting pretty dresses

我母親花了幾個月的時間編織漂亮的裙子

Unfortunately the baby turned out to be a boy

And because we were out of material I was forced to wear those same dresses for an entire year

因為材料不夠，我被迫一整年都穿著同樣的裙子。

Drawing mockery and scorn from all of my manly classmates

引來所有男子漢同學的嘲笑和鄙視

When I was a boy the smell of pork emanating from me was so bad because

當我還是個孩子的時候，我身上散發出的豬肉味非常難聞，因為

Well the reasons aren't important it was part of a different emotionally scarring backstory I'm not getting into

原因並不重要，那是另一段傷痕累累的情感背景故事的一部分，我就不多說了

Regardless the smell of pork was so bad that no one would come near me

不管怎麼說，豬肉的味道太難聞了，沒有人願意靠近我

So one day the carnival came to town and I needed money because of

有一天，狂歡節來到鎮上，我需要錢，因為

Well yet another backstory that basically my parents disowned me I was being raised by ocelots

我的父母基本上不認我了，我是由貓鼬撫養長大的。

The point is I had to get a job at the carnival but the only work was at the dunking booth

重點是，我必須在狂歡節上找份工作，但唯一的工作就是在灌籃亭裡。

And not as the guy who got dunked though I was what they threw to dunk him

我不是被灌籃的那個人，但我是他們扔過來灌籃的那個人

這又是一個完全不同的背景故事

Okay look at it long backstory short I got a balloon at the carnival

我在狂歡節上得到了一個氣球。

I drew a face on him I sprayed him with special lifelong lasting spray I created and I named him Balloonie

我給他畫了一張臉，噴上了我特製的終身持久噴霧，並給他取名為 Balloonie（氣球）。

He became my best friend in the whole world yada yada yada

他成了我在世界上最好的朋友。

Then one tragic day when I was protecting our garden as a lawn gnome

然後，有一天，當我作為草坪侏儒保護我們的花園時，悲劇發生了

Whatever you remember that backstory Balloonie started floating away

不管你還記得那個背景故事，Balloonie 開始飄走了

My mother's love was always inexplicably linked to kickball

我母親的愛總是莫名其妙地與踢球聯繫在一起

And my brother was an expert from the start

But I lacked finesse so it would do the test

但我缺乏技巧，所以它能完成測試

I couldn't kick my way right into her heart

One day when I was walking through the claw machine district something caught my eye

有一天，當我走過爪機區時，一個東西引起了我的注意

In this machine that usually just has rocks in it

Fortunately I had with me my allowance which I'd been saving for a whole year

幸運的是，我帶著存了整整一年的零花錢

I dropped it into a slot and carefully maneuvered the claw toward the beckoning fuzzy grail

我把它放進一個槽裡，然後小心翼翼地操縱著爪子，向著模糊的聖盃招手

Odds were against me but then it happened

機會對我不利，但它還是發生了

The miracle! The claw grabbed the stuffed animal it was mine!

奇蹟出現了爪子抓住了毛絨玩具，它是我的！

Then like a knight of yore I gallantly gave the prize to my beloved mother

然後，我像古代的騎士一樣，英勇地把獎品送給了我親愛的母親

Who immediately turned around and gave it to my brother Roger

他立刻轉過身來，把它交給了我的哥哥羅傑

I was crushed as I watched Roger produce a big red marker and write his name on the toy

看著羅傑拿出一支大紅記號筆，在玩具上寫下自己的名字，我的心都碎了

And then afterwards proceeded to do the same to my mother claiming both as his own

之後，他又對我母親做了同樣的事，聲稱兩個人都是他親生的

And effectively shutting me out of the family dynamic

實際上把我排除在家庭動態之外

In the middle school three years ago on the job of a backrest

三年前在中學就職時的一個靠背

And on this same day I realized I was not a magician

就在同一天，我意識到自己不是魔術師

On the contrary I met the person exactly who I was

恰恰相反，我遇到的人正是我自己

He told me to go backstage and decorate a dress for my important couple

他讓我去後臺為我的重要情侶裝飾一件衣服

Ever since the seventh grade I have wanted to be a magician

從七年級開始，我就想成為一名魔術師

Can somebody please get me out of this? Anyone?

誰能幫我擺脫困境？有沒有人？

See during my teen years I was very adept at hand shadows

你看，在我青少年時期，我非常擅長手影

But then one day there was a new puppeteer in town

但是有一天，鎮上來了一位新的木偶師

His name was Hans and his hands were huge

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