I understand we've got an adversarial system.

我知道我們有一個對抗制。

I'm a mellow sort of guy.

我是個溫和的人。

And that's why I invited Luther, my anger translator, to join me here tonight.

這就是為什麼我邀請路德，我的憤怒翻譯，今晚和我一起在這裡。

Hold on to your lily-white butts.

抓緊你們潔白的屁股。

In our fast-changing world, traditions like the White House

在我們這個瞬息萬變的世界裡，像白宮這樣的傳統

Correspondents' Dinner are important.

記者晚宴很重要。

I mean, really?

我是說，真的嗎？

What is this dinner?

這是什麼晚餐？

And why am I required to come to it?

為什麼要我去呢？

Jeb Bush, do you really want to do this?

傑布-布什，你真的想這麼做嗎？

Because despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day.

因為儘管我們之間存在分歧，但我們依靠新聞界來揭示當今最重要的問題。

And we can count on Fox News to terrify old white people with some nonsense.

我們可以指望福克斯新聞用一些無稽之談來嚇唬白人老人。

You realize coming to Cleveland, run for the damn hills!

如果你意識到要來克利夫蘭，那就趕緊跑吧！

Y'all is ridiculous.

你們都太可笑了。

We won't always see eye to eye.

我們的觀點並不總是一致的。

Oh, and CNN, thank you so much for the wall-to-wall Ebola coverage.

對了，CNN，非常感謝你們對埃博拉病毒的報道。

For two whole weeks, we were one step away from the walking dead.

整整兩週，我們離行屍走肉只有一步之遙。

And then y'all got up and just moved on to the next thing.

然後你們都站起來，繼續做下一件事。

That was awesome.

太棒了

Oh, and by the way, just if you haven't noticed,

對了，如果你還沒注意到的話、

I don't have Ebola.

我沒有埃博拉病毒。

But I still deeply appreciate the work that you do.

但我仍對你們所做的工作深表讚賞。

Y'all remember when I had that big old hole in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, and then I plucked it?

你們還記得我在墨西哥灣海底挖了個大洞，然後把它挖出來嗎？

Remember that?

還記得嗎？

Which Obama's Katrina was that one?

是哪個奧巴馬的卡特里娜？

Was that 19?

那是 19 歲嗎？

Or was it 20?

還是 20？

Because I can't remember.

因為我不記得了。

Protecting our democracy is more important than ever.

保護我們的民主比以往任何時候都更加重要。

For example, the Supreme Court ruled that the donor who gave

例如，最高法院裁定，捐獻者應

Ted Cruz $6 million was just exercising free speech.

特德-克魯茲的 600 萬美元只是在行使言論自由。

Yeah, it's the kind of speech like this.

對，就是這樣的演講。

I just wasted $6 million.

我剛剛浪費了 600 萬美元。

And it's not just Republicans.

而且不僅僅是共和黨人。

Hillary will have to raise huge sums of money, too.

希拉里也必須籌集鉅額資金。

Oh, yeah.

哦，是的

She gonna get that money.

她會拿到錢的

She gonna get all the money.

她會得到所有的錢

Khaleesi is coming to Westeros.

卡麗熙即將降臨維斯特洛。

Watch out!

小心

The non-stop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy.

不停地關注億萬富翁捐贈者給我們的民主制度帶來了真正的問題。

And that's why we're running for a third term!

這也是我們第三次競選的原因！

No, we're not.

不，我們沒有。

We're not?

我們不是嗎？

Who the hell said that?

到底是誰說的？

But we do need to stay focused on some big challenges, like climate change.

但我們確實需要繼續關注一些重大挑戰，比如氣候變化。

Hey, listen, y'all.

嘿，你們都聽著

If you haven't noticed, California is bone dry.

如果你還沒注意到，加利福尼亞州已經幹到骨子裡了。

It look like a trailer for the new Mad Max movie up in there.

看起來就像是新版《瘋狂的麥克斯》電影的預告片。

Y'all think that Bradley Cooper came here because he wants to talk to Chuck Todd?

你們都認為布萊德利-庫珀來這裡 是因為他想和查克-託德談談嗎？

He needed a glass of water!

他需要一杯水！

Come on!

來吧

The science is clear.

科學是明確的。

The science is clear.

科學是明確的。

Nine out of the ten hottest years ever came in the last decade.

有史以來最熱的十個年份中有九個是在過去十年中出現的。

Now, I'm not a scientist, but I do know how to count to ten.

現在，我不是科學家，但我知道如何數到十。

Rising seas, more violent storms.

海平面上升，風暴更加猛烈。

You got mosquitoes, sweaty people on the train stinking it up.

有蚊子，火車上的人汗流浹背，臭氣熏天。

It's just nasty.

太噁心了

I mean, look at what's happening right now.

我的意思是，看看現在發生了什麼。

Every serious scientist says we need to act.

每一位嚴肅的科學家都說，我們需要採取行動。

The Pentagon says it's a national security risk.

五角大樓說，這是一個國家安全風險。

Miami floods on a sunny day, and instead of doing anything about it, we've got elected officials throwing snowballs in the

邁阿密在陽光明媚的日子裡洪水氾濫，而我們的民選官員非但沒有對此採取任何措施，反而在洪水中扔雪球。

Senate.

參議院

Okay, I think I got it, bro.

好吧，我想我明白了，兄弟。

It is crazy.

這太瘋狂了。

What about our kids?

我們的孩子怎麼辦？

What kind of stupid, short-sighted, irresponsible bull..

什麼樣的愚蠢、短視、不負責任的公牛......

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

哇，哇，哇

Hey!

嘿！

What?

什麼？

Okay, no, hey!

好吧，不，嘿嘿！

What?

什麼？

All due respect, sir, you don't need an anger translator.

恕我直言，先生，您不需要憤怒翻譯。

You need counseling.

你需要諮詢。

I'm out of here, man.

我要走了

I ain't trying to get into all this.

我並不想捲入這一切。

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