Earlier this week, former President Trump announced that after getting Roe v. Wade overturned, he's happy with how everything has worked out, because from now on, each state will make its own rules.

本週早些時候，前總統川普宣布，在推翻羅伊訴韋德案後，他對一切的進展感到滿意，因為從現在開始，每個州都將制定自己的規則。

Like, you know how sometimes the speed limit is 45 miles an hour, and then down the road, it's 35 miles an hour?

就像，你知道有些地方速限是每小時 45 英里，然後路的另一端，速限是每小時 35 英里？

Well, that's how human rights are gonna work now, so what could go wrong?

好吧，這就是人權現在的運作方式，那麼會出現什麼問題呢？

But then Arizona decided that its law would be a nearly complete abortion ban that was first enacted during the Civil War, and even pro-life Republicans started freaking out.

但隨後亞利桑那州決定通過一項幾乎完全禁止墮胎的法律，該法律首次於內戰期間實施，即使是親生命的共和黨人也開始感到驚慌失措。

Tonight, some Republicans across the country are rhetorically trying to distance themselves from Arizona's Supreme Court ruling that upholds a near-total abortion ban.

今晚，全國各地的一些共和黨人在言辭上試圖與亞利桑那最高法院的判決保持距離，該判決支持了幾乎完全禁止墮胎。

Congresswoman Nancy Mace, a Republican from South Carolina, called it an asinine ruling.

南卡羅來納州的共和黨眾議員 Nancy Mace 將其稱為荒謬的裁決。

And Republican Congressman Juan Sescamani calling the decision a disaster for women and providers.

共和黨眾議員 Juan Sescamani 稱這一決定對婦女和提供者而言是一場災難。

Carrie Lake locked in one of the most high-profile races in the country.

Carrie Lake參與了全國最高知名度的競選之一。

She released a statement which reads, and I quote, "I oppose today's ruling, and I am calling on Katie Hobbs and the State Legislature to come up with an immediate common sense solution that Arizonans can support."

她發表了一份聲明，其中寫道：「我反對今天的判決，我呼籲 Katie Hobbs 和州議會提出一個立即的常識解決方案，亞利桑那人可以支持。」

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, this anti-abortion law is being received as well as O.J. Simpson at the Pearly Gates.

是的，這個反墮胎法被接受的程度就像奧·J·辛普森被拒絕在天堂門口一樣。

Yeah, I, uh...

對，我，ㄜ...

I don't see you on here.

我沒在那看到你。

Um, even far-right Republican Carrie Lake hates it.

即使是極右派的共和黨人 Carrie Lake 也討厭這個。

And that can't just be because she's in a tight Senate race.

這不能只是因為她參與了激烈的參議院競選而已。

Surely she's always hated it, right?

她肯定一直討厭它，對吧？

Carrie Lake previously said this about the 1864 law less than two years ago.

Carrie Lake 在不到兩年前對這條 1864 年的法律曾這樣說。

"I'm incredibly thrilled that we are going to have a great law that's already on the books. I believe it's ARS 13-3603."

「我非常高興我們將擁有一部已經在法典上的好法律。我記得編號是 ARS 13-3603。」

Wow. Carrie Lake didn't just support this bill, she knew its bill number by heart.

哇，Carrie Lake 不僅支持這項法案，她甚至能夠輕而易舉地記住其法案編號。

"I believe, uh, it's ARS 13-3603."

「我記得是 ARS 13-3603。」

She said that like when a guy tries to play it cool about how much he's into Dune, you know?

她說得就像一個人試圖裝酷地表現自己對《沙丘》有多麼著迷一樣，你知道的？

"Oh, yeah, I think I've heard of that movie.

「哦，是的，我想我聽過那部電影。

I believe that's the one where Paul Atreides wields the power of the Bene Gesserit to fulfill the prophecy of the Lissengel guy.

我相信那是 Paul Atreides 利用 Bene Gesserit 的力量來實現 Lissengel 先知預言的那部電影。

I think that's the one.

我記得是那一部。

Yeah, they changed it from the books."

是的，他們從書中改編了故事情節。」

I mean, look, have you ever loved a law so much that you memorized it?

我的意思是，你有曾經如此熱愛一條法律到以至於把它背熟過嗎？

Even the person who wrote the law in 1864 would be like, "My lady, thou art a weirdo," or however they talked back then.

就連那位在 1864 年寫下這部法律的人都會說：「我的女士，你真是個怪人」，或者用他們當時的語言說類似的話。

I'm just saying, the way she rattled it off, "13-3603," I'm pretty sure if you find Carrie Lake's iPhone, you'll be able to unlock it, but...

我只是說，她輕而易舉地念出了「13-3603」，我敢打賭，如果你找到 Carrie Lake 的 iPhone，你很可能能夠用這串數字解鎖它，但是...

But, hey, that's fine.

但，嘿，沒關係。

If even Republicans agree that this abortion ban is too extreme, then Arizona Democrats can just propose a bill to reverse the old law, and I'm sure the GOP will get on board.

如果連共和黨人都認為這項墮胎禁令太極端，那麼亞利桑那州的民主黨可以提出一項法案來撤銷舊法，我相信共和黨會支持這個提案。

Check it out.

來看看。

GOP lawmakers today block a vote to reverse the landmark ruling from the state Supreme Court yesterday, reinstating a pre-statehood near-total ban on abortion.

共和黨議員今天阻止了對昨天州最高法院的具有里程碑意義的裁決進行投票，該裁決恢復了一項接近全面禁止墮胎的前州政權法令。

Well, that's... that's weird.

恩，這真怪。

I mean, you guys say you don't want an insane abortion ban, but then you voted to keep it.

你們說你們不想要一個瘋狂的墮胎禁令，但是你們投票支持保留它。

It's almost like you're just totally full of shit.

這幾乎就像你完全在胡說八道一樣。

I... I mean, listen, listen.

我的意思是，聽著。

If... if Arizona women...

如果亞利桑那州的女性...

If Arizona women are gonna be forced to live under this law from 1864, then all of Arizona's lawmakers should be forced to get their health care from 1864 standards, too.

如果亞利桑那州的婦女將被迫生活在 1864 年的法律之下，那麼所有亞利桑那州的立法者也應該被迫接受 1864 年的健康保健標準。

Yeah. You've got back pain? Put some leeches on it.

對，你背痛？ 放一些水蛭在上面。

Migraine? More leeches.

偏頭痛？ 更多水蛭。

Feeling depressed? You can see a therapist.

心情鬱悶？ 你可以去看治療師。

Your therapist is a leech, okay?

你的治療師是水蛭，好嗎？

Clearly... clearly, this law has completely thrown Republicans for a loop. They hate the law. They love the law.

顯然，這條法律完全讓共和黨人感到困惑。他們討厭這條法律。他們又喜歡這條法律。

They don't know what to do.

他們不知道該怎麼辦。

And this is all great news, actually, for President Biden.

實際上，這都是個好消息，對拜登總統來說。

A perfect opportunity to hammer the Republicans in a critical swing state for their confusion and their hypocrisy.

這是一個絕佳的機會可以批評處於關鍵搖擺州的共和黨人的困惑和虛偽。

Dude, you got a wide open net, my man, all right?

老兄，你有個大好的機會，好嗎？

All you need to do is just tap the ball in.

你所需要做的就是把球輕輕敲進去。

President Biden was asked today what his message is to Arizonans.

今天有人問拜登總統對亞利桑那人的訊息是什麼。

Elect me. I'm in the 20...

選我，我在 20....

20th century. 21st century.

20 世紀，21 世紀。

Ah, f-!

拜託！

You blew it!

你毀掉了！

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

好啦。

Hey, Republicans think we're in 1864.

嘿，共和黨認為我們還停留在1864年。

The president thinks we're in the 20th century.

總統認為我們還停留在20世紀。

If we're playing by the Price is Right rules, Biden was closest without going over, right?

如果我們按照《價值千金》的遊戲規則來說，拜登最接近而且沒有超過，對吧？

Yeah.

沒錯。

Now, luckily, Arizona voters will likely vote on a ballot initiative in November that will let them decide for themselves if they want abortion to be legal.

幸運的是，亞利桑那州的選民很可能會在11月份的投票中投票支持一項公民投票，讓他們自行決定是否要將墮胎合法化。

And for anyone in Arizona who might need an abortion before then, Republicans want you to know, hey, everything's fine.

對於亞利桑那州可能在此之前需要墮胎的任何人，共和黨人希望你知道，嘿，一切都好。

I mean, this is tricky business. How does this play out?

我是說，這是一個棘手的問題。這會如何發展呢？

Uh, it hurts Trump for a few days, and then people start to realize this is not the worst thing in the world.

嗯，這對川普造成了幾天的傷害，然後人們開始意識到這並不是世界上最糟糕的事情。

If you had to travel to another state to get an abortion, it's not the worst thing in the world.

如果你必須去另一個州做墮胎手術，這並不是世界上最糟糕的事情。

Hopefully, this is a very rare occurrence in your life.

希望這在你的生活中是非常罕見的事件。

Once in your life, maybe it would do it.

或許一生中一次，也許會這樣做。

Buying a bus ticket to go somewhere to get it is not the worst thing in the world.

買一張公車票去某處接受手術也不是世界上最糟糕的事情。

It's true.

沒錯。

Hey, hey, it's true.

嘿，是真的。

It technically can't be the worst thing in the world as long as that toupee exists, but...

從技術上講，只要那個假髮還在，這就不可能是世界上最糟糕的事情，但是...

What is wrong with you guys?

你們有什麼毛病？

It's not the worst thing in the world that you take a bus to a different state.

你搭公車到另一個州並不是世界上最糟糕的事情。

It's also not the worst thing in the world to just let women have rights, you know?

讓女性擁有權利也不是世界上最糟糕的事情，你知道嗎？

I would say it's actually significantly nicer than going on a bus, you know?

我會說，實際上，讓女性擁有權利比搭公車要好得多，你知道嗎？

It doesn't cost you anything, there's never a circumstance where someone takes a shit so bad they need to pull over and wait for a second bus to pick everybody up.

這不會花費你任何費用，也從來沒有一種情況是，有人大便太臭，需要停下來等待第二輛公車來接大家。

And by the way, I love that he made this entirely the woman's problem.

而且，順便說一句，我很喜歡他把這完全當作女性的問題。

Where's the father in this scenario?

在這種情況下，父親在哪裡呢？

He can't give her a ride?

他沒辦法載她嗎？

He's just standing at the bus station waving like, "Bye, have a nice abortion. Try to pick up some food on the way home."

他只是站在公車站揮手，說：「再見，祝你墮胎順利。回家的路上記得買些食物。」

Now, a panel of men talking about abortion might seem like a ridiculous embarrassment for everyone involved, but I actually think it's a great idea for our new segment, Men Talk About Abortion.

現在，一群男人討論墮胎可能聽起來對所有人都很尷尬且荒謬，但我認為這是我們新節目《男人談論墮胎》的一個好主意。

Oh, yeah, all right.

沒錯，就是這樣。

All right, you know it.

好的，你知道的。

Yeah.

沒錯。

Joining me now is my main bro, my main man.

現在加入我們的是我的好兄弟，我的好夥伴。

You're just like me, aren't you?

你就跟我一樣，對吧？

Yeah, I sure am.

沒錯，我確實是。

A big old man, huh?

老頭了是吧？

Just watch me open this jar.

看我打開這個罐子。

I'll finish it later.

我晚點再打開。

Nah, you softened it up.

你有轉開一點了。

You softened it up, big dog.

你有轉開一點了，兄弟。

All right, let's get right to it, man-to-man.

好的，讓我們直入主題，男人之間的對話。

What's your solution for abortion?

你對墮胎有什麼解決方案？

Okay, easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy, all right?

好的，輕而易舉，簡單易行，明白了吧？

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

沒錯。

A woman needs an abortion, she should just take the bus to a state where it's legal.

女性需要墮胎的話，她應該搭公車去一個合法的州。

Okay.

好的。

And look, obviously, I've never had to travel out of state for an abortion.

而且顯然，我從來沒有因墮胎而必須出州。

But I did accidentally hit myself in the balls trying to double-knot my deck shoes.

但我確實曾試圖把我的帆船鞋打雙結時意外地打到了自己的蛋蛋。

I cried so hard, they helicoptered me to a hospital in the next state. I was fine.

我哭得很厲害，他們把我直升機送到了隔壁州的醫院。 我沒事。

Yeah, couldn't agree more, Chief.

沒錯，非常認同。

Couldn't agree more, Chief.

非常認同。

Women should just take the bus ride or just give birth.

女性應該乘坐公共汽車去墮胎就行了，或把孩子生下來。

And look, I've never given birth, okay?

聽著，我從沒生過小孩，好嗎？

Uh-uh, of course not, but if...

當然沒有過，但如果...

But you would crush it if you did.

但如果你真的生了，你一定會處理得很好。

I would crush it?

我可以嗎？

I mean, you would crush it.

你可以處理得很好的。

But look, I know it's frustrating for women, but we can't all...

但是，我知道這對女性來說很令人沮喪，但我們不能都...

You know, we have rights some places, and other places, we don't.

你知道的，有些地方我們有權利，而其他地方我們沒有。

For example, I'm not allowed to go to the Epcot food court anymore because apparently you can't do that to the funnel cakes.

例如，我不被允許再去Epcot的美食廣場了，因為顯然你不能對燒餅做那樣的事情。

I mean, double standards?

雙標？

Double standards?

雙標？

Double standard, double standard.

就是雙標。

Look, women are making too big a deal about all this.

女性對這一切太小題大作了。

Look, I've never had to walk through a line of protesters to get basic health care, but I have had to make eye contact with the woman at Walgreens while buying a pack of Slim Fit Trojan condoms.

看，我從來沒有不得不穿過一排抗議者去接受基本的醫療保健，但我確實曾經在Walgreens買一包Slim Fit Trojan保險套時與女店員對視。

So, sometimes you got to get past feeling judged, ladies.

所以，有時你必須克服感到受到評判的感覺，女士們。

And you're brave.

你很勇敢。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

You are brave, my bro-ham.

你很勇敢，我的兄弟。

And by the way, what about the father's rights?

話說，父親的權利呢？

Oh, the fathers have to have rights.

父親必須要有權利。

Right, right. Are you a father?

沒錯，你是爸爸嗎？

I am not a father.

我不是個爸爸。

No, no, no, no, no.

不是。

I would like to be, but I haven't quite figured out how it works yet.

我想當爸爸，但我還沒完全搞清楚它是如何運作的。

Okay, okay.

好的。

I do know boobs are involved, though, you know?

我確實知道胸部參與其中，你知道嗎？

How about you?

你呢？

Yeah, I haven't found the right lady yet.

是的，我還沒找到合適的女人。

I was in a relationship for several years, but she turned out to be a raccoon, and she tricked me out of my credit card.

我戀愛了幾年，但她原來是浣熊，她騙走了我的信用卡。

Oh, tale as old as time, player.

哦，老把戲了，還是不斷上演。

Tale as old as time.

老把戲了。

In fact, my ex was three possums in a trench coat.

事實上，我的前任是三隻穿著風衣的負鼠。

Point is, when it comes to women's rights, we get it.

重點是，當談到婦女權利時，我們明白。

We get it.

我們明白。

All right, before we go, quick question.

好吧，在我們結束之前，先問一個問題。

What is an abortion?

墮胎是什麼？

Not a clue. Not a clue.

完全不知道。

But, but, but I think the boobs are once again involved.

但是我認為胸部又再次參與其中

Sounds right to me.

對我來說很對味。

My main man, bro-ham Jones, everybody.

我的好，兄弟漢姆瓊斯，大家。