Not even thinking.

想都沒想。

That's not the joke. Shut up.

這不是笑點，閉嘴。

See, I can't even tell you guys a story. Already--

你看，我根本沒辦法給你們講笑話，還沒講就——

I wasn't thinking, I bought the car because it was affordable, economical, brand new freaking Beetle for, like, 17 grand.

我想都沒想，因為這輛車經濟實惠，全新的金龜車才花了 1.7 萬美元。

I was like first new car.

這是我的第一輛新車。

I go to show it off at my friend Martin's house.

我去朋友馬丁家炫耀。

I thought it was nice, I pull up, you know.

我覺得這台車很不錯。我停下。

"Martin!"

「馬丁！」

He lives in the hood, I don't get out the car.

他住在黑人社區，我才不下車。

Across the street, there are these gang members, they're kind of gang members they don't really get into, you know, like shooting people and stuff like that.

街對面有這些黑幫份子，他們不太是那種喜歡開槍打人之類的黑幫份子。

They just hang out on the porch and talk a lot of smack.

他們只是會待門廊上，說很多屁話的那種。

And so I'm there in a Beetle and across the street. I hear this. Right.

於是我就開著一輛金龜車，在街對面。 我聽到這個。

I'm like, "Martin!" and over here I hear, "Orale."

我說：「馬丁！」在這頭我聽到：「（西班牙文）你好。」

"Hey, what's up guys? How's it going?

「嘿，你們好啊，各位？過得如何？」

"How'd you get in there, ese?"

「你是怎麼坐進去那台車的？」

"Hurry up, Martin!"

「馬丁，快點！」

Two months later, I go back to pick them up.

兩個月後，我回去取車。

Now, I've had some time to work on the car, right?

現在，我有時間修車了，對吧？

I put some rims on it, some stickers.

我給它裝上了輪輞，貼上了貼紙。

I put a chip in the motor so it goes faster.

我在馬達上裝了芯片，所以它跑得更快。

I thought I was bad, right? I pull up--

我覺得我是個壞小子，對吧。我開過去停好。

"Martin!"

「馬丁！」

"Orale!"

「（西班牙文）你好！」

"Uh-uh, I'm not turning around."

「不，我不會轉過去的。」

"Hey." "Uh-uh."

「嘿。」「不。」

"Hey." "I don't see you."

「嘿。」「我沒看到你。」

"Yoo-hoo."

「優呼。」

"Hey." "What?"

「嘿。」「幹嘛啦？」

"Check it out, aye, it's the fat and the furious."

「大家來看看，是「速肚與激情。」

I didn't even wait, man.

我連等都沒等。

I got rid of that car, man. I traded it in and got myself a big old SUV.

我賣掉了那輛車。我用它換了一輛大型 SUV。

It was nice for a while. This car freaking sucked on mileage, though, man.

有一段時間挺不錯。 不過，這輛車太耗油了，各位。

I got 11 miles to the gallon.

我每加侖只能行駛 11 英里。

Oh, you cannot be bad-ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos, you can't.

哦，開車一台耗油跟我耗墨西哥捲餅一樣車是不能當個壞小子的。

You can't be at the stoplight trying to intimidate other cars, you know.

你沒辦法在等紅綠燈處的時候嚇嚇其他車輛。

"What? What, what, what."

「怎樣？你怎樣。」

20 bucks right there.

20美元就沒了。

Hell no. But it was kinda cool. It had a GPS navigational system in it. An OnStar, which was really cool.

一定不行。 但它有點酷。 它有一個 GPS 導航系統。 OnStar，這真的很酷。

You know, I'm driving and all of a sudden this girl is talking to me.

你知道，我正在開車，突然這個女孩跟我說話了。

"Right turn, up ahead."

「前方右轉。」

"At three quarter 10th of a mile, left turn."

「在四分之三又十分之一英里處左轉。」

And I'm like, "Whatever you say, baby."

我說：「你說什麼都好，寶貝。」