Name: 爸媽抓到兒子看謎片截然不同的反應 (Caught My Son Watching P*rn | Ali Siddiq Stand Up Comedy)
Uploaded: 2024-03-04T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 5 min 48 s

頻率副詞

But my son, even though sometimes I'm a little tough, I don't embarrass him when it comes to things, certain things, certain things, I'm not gonna embarrass him.

但我的兒子，儘管有時我有點強硬，但在某些事情上我不會讓他難堪。

現在進行式

But his mother, on the other hand, is from South Dallas and she doesn't process things well sometimes when something's happening.

但另一方面，他的母親來自南達拉斯，有時當事情發生時，她不能很好地處理。

to 不定詞

You know, it takes her a minute to get it under control, but she goes with anger first.

她需要花一分鐘才控制住情緒，但她首先是被憤怒帶著走的。

And we are at the pool, the natatorium is where the children are swimming, you know, training, and Hassan is in the pool.

我們在游泳館，孩子們游泳、訓練的地方，哈桑在游泳池裡。

She's looking at her phone and she notices that somebody has been watching porn on her phone, so she thinks.

她正在看手機，發現有人在用她的手機看謎片，她這麼認為的。

She says loud, "Who the hell been watching porn on my phone?"

她大聲說：「到底是誰在用我的手機看謎片？」

We're in a natatorium, a pool area, and it echoes "porn, porn, porn, porn," bouncing off all the walls.

我們在一個室內泳池區，會回音「謎片、謎片、謎片、謎片」在牆壁間迴盪。

And I said, 'Why are you looking at me? I got a phone for that. I don't need your phone to watch porn. I don't need your phone. Why are you looking at me?"

我說：「你為什麼看著我？我自己有手機，我不需要你的手機來看謎片。你為什麼看著我？」

So she notices at the further investigation, it's actually not on her phone.

所以她注意到，在進一步調查後，其實不是用她的手機看的。

And she says, "Hassan's iPad. He's been watching porn."

她說：「是哈桑的 iPad。她一直在看謎片。」

現在，她很生氣，但我沒有生氣。

Not yet. I need to find out some more information.

還沒有。我需要了解更多資訊。

I said, "What kind of porn? Is it regular porn or it's some bullshit?"

我說：「哪種謎片？是普通的謎片，還是怪怪的那種？」

I say, "Oh, ok. I'm not involved in this no more. I'm go."

我說：「哦，好喔。我不打算再介入了。我撤了。」

Now, you know, when you swim every three strokes, you gotta turn and breathe, every three stroke, turn and breathe.

你知道，當你每遊三下，你就得轉身呼吸，每遊三下，轉身呼吸。

She can't wait till the boy get out the pool to discuss it.

她迫不及待地想等到孩子們從泳池裡出來再討論這個問題。

She's so South Dallas. She's going down the pool with him and every time Hassan turns, all he sees is "I'ma beat your ass. I'ma beat your ass. I'ma beat your ass."

她非常南達拉斯人。她走下泳池跟著他，每次哈桑轉身換氣，他看到的是「我要揍扁你、我要揍扁你、我要揍扁你。」

And you can tell that my son is confused.

Hassan's face is like this. He's confuesed.

He gets out the pool, and he knows something because he's walking slow, then baby-steps in.

他從泳池出來，他知道出了一些事，因為他走的很慢，小心翼翼走過來。

And I'm like, "Let me talk to the boy. I'm cool. Let me talk to him."

我說：「讓我跟孩子聊。我很冷氣，讓我跟他談談。」

"No, he's been watching goddamn 64 porns."

「不行，他看了天殺的 64 部謎片。」

I say, "Wait, you didn't tell me 64 porns. The boy's been up all night. He must be tired."

我說：「等等，你沒要告訴我他看了 64 部謎片。這孩子一夜沒睡，他一定很累了。」

I say, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, come here, man, come here.

我說：「嘿，過來小子，過來。

Hassan. You are 10 years old. Why in the hell are you watching porn?"

哈桑，你 10 歲而已，到底為什麼看謎片？」

我兒子很誠實。他是個誠實的孩子。

Hassan says in my face, eye to eye, he says, "I like big booties, Daddy."

哈桑當著我的面說，看著我的眼睛說：「爸爸，我喜歡大屁股。」

Even though in my mind this is what's going on.

儘管在我心中，我是這樣想的。

It runs in the family, it runs in the family. It's in the blood line.

家族遺傳，家族遺傳。這從血脈繼承下來的。

But what comes out is the father thing. "Hassan, I don't care that you like big booties, son. You can't be watching all this porn all night."

但是，我表現出的是父親的樣子，我說：「哈桑，我不在乎你喜歡大屁股。你不能整晚都看這些謎片。」

I'm calling my brother, his uncle. Call him on my truck.

我打電話給我兄弟，他叔叔，在我的卡車上打給他。

As soon as he answer, I say, "Hey, man, you need to talk to your nephew because he's around here watching porn."

他接起來，我就說：「嘿，兄弟，你得跟你侄子談談，因為他在這給我看謎片。」

My brother, first thing he asks, "What kind of porn? Regular porn or some bullshit?"

我兄弟問的第一件事是：「什麼樣的謎片？ 普通的還是鬼東西？」

Now my brother, he's like, he knows better than to go in right then.

我兄弟，他會先了解更多，才不會搞錯方向。

You know, he says, "Well, shit, let me say something to him."

他說：「好吧，讓我跟他聊聊。」

"Hassan, man, what is wrong with you? You're around here watching porn?

「哈桑，你有什麼問題了？你為什麽看謎片？

You're 10 years old? Why are you watching porn? Hassan!"

你才 10 歲？你為什麼看謎片？ 哈桑！」

I say, "Tell him, Hassan, tell him what you told me."

我說：「告訴他，哈桑。告訴他你怎麼跟我說的。」

Hassan says to his uncle, "I like big booties, Uncle."

哈桑對他叔叔說：「叔叔，我喜歡大屁股。」

My brother doesn't know not to break, he doesn't know not to break.

他不知道作為家長你不能崩潰。

My brother said, "Well, shit, what am I gonna do about that? That runs in the family. I like it too, Hassan."

我兄弟說：「媽的，我該怎麼辦呢？這流傳在家族了。我也喜歡大屁股，哈桑。」