I don't have time for stupid stuff like that in my life.

我這輩子沒時間做這種蠢事。

Dude, she's coming this way!

各位，她往這邊來了！

Oh, hey! How are you doing on this glorious day?

喔嘿！今天是個好日子，你們好嗎？

Oh hey. How's it going?

喔嘿！你過得如何？

I'm great.

我很好。

Oh, here she comes, hey baby.

哦，她來了，嘿，寶貝。

Watch out, put up your dukes.

小心，準備好戰鬥。

Oh, you ready?

準備好了嗎？

Oh, dodge it, oh, footwork.

哦，躲開，哦，腳步。

Oh crap, you really walked into that one.

哦，糟糕，你怎麼就這樣被我揍到。

Am I making too much eye contact?

我是不是眼神交流太多了？

Actually, I don't think I'm making enough eye contact.

事實上，我覺得我的眼神交流不夠。

Let's kick this up a notch.

讓我們更上一層樓。

Oh, you're into astrology, even though it's scientifically disproven and entirely illogical?

- 哦，你喜歡占星術，儘管它已被科學推翻完全不合邏輯？

What a coincidence, I'm into it too!

真巧，我也喜歡！

My sign is...

我的星座是...

You know, that archery guy.

就是那個射箭的傢伙。

Hey there, how are you doing today?

你好，今天過得怎麼樣？

I'm having a really bad day, I just found out I'm losing my job.

我今天過得很糟糕，我剛發現自己要失業了。

Oh crap, she's going off the script I used to rehearse this conversation all last night.

糟糕，她沒有照著我昨晚一直在排練的這段對話講。

What do I do?

我該怎麼辦？

Oh crap.

哦，糟糕。

Just stick with the script!

照著劇本來就行！

I am glad to hear you're doing well! So am I!

我很高興聽到你過得很好！我也是！

You're watching the football game later? So am I!

你一會兒要看足球比賽？我也是！

I can't wait to watch the Cowboys crash and burn.

我迫不及待地想看牛仔隊一敗塗地。

Oh, you're a Cowboys fan.

哦，你是牛仔隊的球迷。

Okay.

好的。

Let's try to never talk about that subject ever again.

那我們儘量不再談論這個話題好了。

It was great to spend the afternoon with you, getting coffee and having deep conversations while staring into each other's eyes.

很高興能和你共度這個下午、喝咖啡，深談，同時凝視著對方的眼睛。

Hope we can do this again sometime.

希望有機會我們能再來一次。

What date should we pick for our next...

我們下一次......應該選哪一天？

Get together?

聚一聚？

I'm a busy man, you're a busy woman, let's not waste time, okay?

我是個大忙人，你是個大忙人，就別浪費時間了，好嗎？

I like you, do you like me? - Yes.

我喜歡你，你喜歡我嗎？- 對。

- All right, dinner Saturday at 7:00?

好，週六七點吃晚飯？

Yes.

好。

Roger that, I'll email you a calendar invite.

收到，我會通過電子郵件發送行事曆邀請。

Wow. What a coincidence running into you here!

哇哦。在這裡碰到你，真是太巧了！

I was just taking a walk around your neighborhood for unclear reasons, but since you're here,

我只是在你家附近轉轉，原因不明，但既然你來了，

I happen to have reservations at a place for lunch this afternoon, but I accidentally made it for two people.

今天下午我剛好預訂了一個吃午餐的地方，但我不小心訂了兩個人的。

What a mistake. You should join me!

真是大錯特錯。你應該加入我！

Nothing you just said makes any sense whatsoever, but you know what?

你剛才說的話一點道理都沒有，但你知道嗎？

You're probably right.

你可能是對的。

What do I know? I'm not a smart man, Jenny.

我懂什麼？我不是個聰明人，珍妮

I'm Forrest Gump over here.

我是阿甘。

Dating, wow, I wonder what that's like.

約會，哇，我想知道那是什麼感覺。

I've been unattached for so long.

我已經很久沒有跟人有「聯繫」了。

You know, living the single life with no significant other filling that void.

過著單身生活沒有重要的人填補這個空缺。

It's an open position.

這是一個開放的職位。

Did I mention I'm single?

我說過我是單身嗎？

Ah yes, I find that movie to be quite illuminating as well, exploring the themes of existential dread and societal pressure to conform.

是的，我也覺得這部電影很有啟發性、探索生存恐懼的主題以及順應社會的壓力。

I especially liked the part at the end where Napoleon Dynamite gets on stage and dances.

我特別喜歡最後拿破崙炸藥上台跳舞的部分。

Quite a moving character arc.

相當動人的人物弧線。

I can't believe I'm finally talking to her face to face.

真不敢相信我終於能和她面對面交談了。

I've admired her from afar for so long, and now...

我已經遠遠地仰慕她很久了，現在...

Oh crap, she's been talking this whole time.

糟糕，她一直在說話。

What?

什麼？

Hey Jenny, you've met my less attractive friend Timmy, right?

嘿，珍妮，你見過我那個不那麼迷人的朋友提米，對嗎？

Oh, hi Timmy, it's so good to see you again.

哦，嗨，提米，真高興再見到你。

Watch it, Timmy.

小心點，提米。

So what kind of plans do you have this weekend?

這個週末你有什麼計劃？

Going on a date with Jason.

我要和傑森約會。

That's great.

好極了。

But I'm kinda nervous about it.

但我還是有點緊張。

You shouldn't be.

不用緊張。

Why don't we talk through it and you'll feel better?

不如我們好好談談，你會感覺好些？

Thanks so much, you're such a good friend.

非常感謝，你真是我的好朋友。

I guess the thing is it's been so long...

我想問題是已經過了很長時間了....

♪ You've heard this before ♪

♪ 你以前聽過這個 ♪

Do you like T-shirts?

你喜歡 T 恤衫嗎？

What about hoodies?

連帽衫怎麼樣？

How about mugs or phone cases?

馬克杯或手機殼怎麼樣？

You could be repping your favorite YouTube channel, which is this one.

你可以成為你最喜愛的 YouTube 頻道的代言人，就是這個。