Name: 喜劇演員間的玩笑凶爆到你無法想像 (Fluffy and Trevor Noah Once Toured Together | Gabriel Iglesias)
Uploaded: 2024-01-03T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 9 min 23 s

Are you guys ready for a great time tonight?

你們準備好度過一個美好的夜晚了嗎？

祈使句型

Ozo，準備好了嗎？- 準備好了！

Kicking off our new season of Stand-Up Revolution, you guys, is a friend of ours that we've been touring with for the last four months.

拉開我們新一季《單口喜劇》的序幕的事我們過去四個月以來一直一起巡迴演出的朋友。

Believe me when I tell you, this guy is a superstar in the making.

相信我，我告訴你，這傢伙正在成為超級巨星。

Coming to you all the way from South Africa, put your hands together, show your love for our friend, Mr. Trevor Noah.

從南非遠道而來，請雙手合十，表達對我們的朋友崔弗諾亞先生展現你們的愛。

You know, not, not for a job or money or anything.

你知道，不是為了工作或錢或任何東西。

I always came here because I wanted one thing and that is I always wanted to be black.

我之所以來到這裡，是因為我有一個願望，那就是我一直想成為黑人。

I grew up in South Africa during a time known as Apartheid.

我在南非長大，那時是被稱為種族隔離的時期。

And for those who don't know, Apartheid was a law in the country that made it illegal for black and white people to mix.

對於那些不知道種族隔離制度的人來說，種族隔離制度是該國的一項法律，規定黑人和白人混居是非法的。

Which was awkward for me because I grew up in a mixed family.

這對我來說很尷尬，因為我是在一個混血家庭中長大的。

Well, with me being the mixed one in the family.

My mother's a black woman, South African, and my father's Swiss, from Switzerland.

我母親是南非黑人，父親是來自瑞士的瑞士人。

So he was a white man. Well, he still is. It's not like he changed.

所以他是個白人，現在也是。他沒有變。

I say that like, "Through hard work and determination, he became black." No.

我說的好像是「通過努力和決心，他成為了黑人。」不是。

I see the white guy going, "Is that possible?"

我看到那個白人說：「這有可能嗎？」

No, it's not possible. You are fine, sir. He's still very white. Very white.

不，這是不可能的。你很好，先生。 他還是很白，很白。

And so they got together, my parents. Black mom, white dad, which was against the law, but they didn't care.

於是他們把我的父母在一起，黑人媽媽，白人爸爸，這違反了法律，但他們不在乎。

Yeah, my mom was like, "Woo, I don't care. I want a white man! Woo!"

是啊，我媽媽就像「哦，我不在乎。我想要一個白人！」

And my dad was also, well, you know how the Swiss love chocolate, you know. So he was just...

我爸爸也是，你知道瑞士人有多愛巧克力吧。

So they got together then they had me, which was illegal.

所以他們在一起，然後生下了我，這是非法的。

So I was born a crime, which is something they never thought through because as a family, we didn't live together normally.

所以我一出生就是個罪犯，這一點他們從來沒有想過，因為作為一個家庭，我們沒有正常地生活在一起。

Like in the streets, my father had to walk on the other side of the road and he could just wave at me from far like a creepy pedophile,

比如在街上，我父親不得不走在路的另一邊，他會像個令人毛骨悚然的戀童癖一樣遠遠地向我揮手。

My mom could walk with me, but if the police showed up, she had to let go and act like I wasn't hers, every time.

我媽媽可以跟我一起走，但如果警察來了，她就得放手，每次都裝作我不是她的。

Like, [police siren], it's not mine, it's not mine!

像是，[警笛聲響] 他不是我的，不是我的！

And one fateful day, you know, because I was never given a race, I was never called black, I was never called white.

有一天，你知道，因為我從來沒有被歸類為哪一個種族，我從來沒有被稱為黑人，我從來沒有被稱為白人。

I had the privilege of meeting an American, and he said to me,

我有幸見到了一位美國人，他對我說：

"So, well, you know, Trevor, it's funny you say that 'cause if you come out to America, they'll label you as black."

「你知道嗎，崔弗，你這麼說很有趣，因為如果你到美國來，他們會給你貼上黑人的標籤。」

He said, "Hell yeah! Everybody's black out there."

他說：「是啊，每個人都是黑人。」

And I was like, "Well, I want to be black. Yeah!"

我當時想：「好吧，我想成為黑人。」

I bought myself a plane ticket because I found out it's true.

我給自己買了張機票，因為我發現這是真的。

Mixed-race people are categorized as black in America.

Yeah, the only catch is, you have to be successful first.

是的，唯一的問題是你必須先成功。

Before that, they call you mixed. Achieve success, and you get upgraded to black.

在此之前，他們稱你為混血兒。 取得成功，你就會升級為黑人。

All the famous mixed people have done it. Singers like Alicia Keys and Mariah Carey, mixed, but they say black, right?

所有知名的混血兒都是這樣。Alicia Keys 和 Mariah Carey 這樣的混血歌手，但他們說的是黑人，對嗎？

Tiger Woods, mixed, but they say black golfer.

老虎伍茲，混血兒，但他們說他是黑人高爾夫球員。

The most famous mixed person on the planet, Barack Obama, mixed, half and half.

地球上最有名的混血兒歐巴馬是混血兒。

但你們說他是第一位黑人總統。

When he was running, he was the mixed candidate.

當他在競選的時候，他卻是一位混血候選人。

Now it seems obvious. People are like, "Yeah, he won."

現在看來很明顯。大家會說：「是啊，他贏了。」

我還記得喜劇演員們對他的不滿。

They'd come and be like, "How many of y'all seen that mixed race fool running for president?

他們會說：「你們有多少人看檔那個混血笨蛋競選總統？

Y'all see that crazy ass mixed fool? How's some mixed fool gonna come in- even a black man can't win. This mixed fool thinks he gonna win. He gonna win shit.

你們都看到那個瘋狂的混血笨蛋了吧。怎麼會有混寫笨蛋，即使是黑人也贏不了，這個混血笨蛋。 他不可能會贏的。

Ain't no mixed fool- I ain't see no mixed fool coming out here winning the United States- That mixed fool. That mixed fool."

沒有混血傻笨蛋——我可沒見過哪個混血笨蛋跑到這裡來贏得美國——那個混血笨蛋，這個混血笨蛋。

And then he won, and all of a sudden they were like, "My nigga!"

然後他贏了，突然之間，大家就變成這樣「我的黑人兄弟。」

於是，我給自己買了一張機票。

Yeah, 18 hours of flying, that's what I had to sit through.

是啊，飛了18個小時，這就是我不得不忍受的。

I sat on that plane and I watched every single black American movie and TV show I could find, just so I could practice being black.

我坐在飛機上，看完了所有能找到的美國黑人電影和電視節目，就是為了練習做黑人。

I was not gonna mess up that blackopportunity.

我可不想搞砸這個變成黑人的機會。

I just sat there, like a madman in my chair just like watching movies, practicing.

我就像瘋子一樣坐在椅子上，就像看電影練習一樣。

"Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah."

「是啊是啊，你懂我意思嗎？ 你懂我意思嗎？ 耶，耶。」

Oh, you laugh, but I landed. landed in Miami and I was fluent in my black American.

哦，你儘管笑，但我成功抵達了。抵達邁阿密，而我的黑人英文很流利。

Yeah, I was so black, I was even laughing black. I was like, "Ha ha ha. Yeah! My man!"

是的，我太黑了。我甚至笑的方式都很黑人。 我是這樣：「哈哈哈。兄弟！」

I was super black! Until some guy came up to me and he was like, "Oye, Papi la llegamos!"

我是超級黑！直到有個人走過來跟我說：「（西語）哎呀，兄弟！」

18 hours of flying, and I still wasn't black.

18個小時飛行過後，我依然不是黑人。

You guys have been great. Thanks for having me.

你們很棒。非常棒謝謝你邀請我。

Ladies and gentlemen, keep it going for Trevor Noah!

女士先生們，掌聲為崔弗催下去！

Woo! Oh my God. What a way to kick off our show, you guys.

我的天啊！這真是為我們的節目拉開序幕的好方式。

我們和崔弗先生的第一場演出。

Did you see the women's response to Trevor.

你看到女性們對崔弗的迴應了嗎？

How many of you ladies find Trevor's accent incredibly sexy?

有多少女士覺得崔弗的口音非常性感？

How many of you guys found Trevor Noah's... Really Ozo?

你們中有多少人覺得崔弗諾亞.... 認真嗎Ozo？

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna hate on him, the way- ladies, you went crazy for him, I know.

我真心不騙。我不會恨他，女士們為他瘋狂，你們為他瘋狂，我知道。

I'm not gay, but if we were locked up, hell yeah.

我不是同性戀，但如果我們被關起來，那當然好。

Oh, you don't even know! I would tear his ass up to the Lion King soundtrack.

哦，你根本不知道！ 我會隨著《獅子王》的配樂把他屁屁（請自行想像）。

I gotta tell you guys, Trevor Noah has been on the road with Martin and I for like I said the last four months and he's a great friend and a funny, funny man.

我得告訴你們，崔弗諾亞在過去的四個月裡一直和我和馬丁在一起，他是個很好的朋友，也是個風趣幽默的人。

Any of the stories you guys might have heard about us in the past and the practical jokes, they've all been true. Especially when a new guy shows up.

你們過去可能聽說過的關於我們的故事和惡作劇，都是真的，尤其是當新人出現的時候。

You know, Trevor's a cool dude, you guys, but we couldn't wait to have fun with him.

特雷弗是個很酷的人，但我們迫不及待地想和他一起玩。

We were doing a show in a city called Eagle Pass in the state of Texas.

我們在德州一個叫Eagle Pass的城市做演出。

Now... We have some Tejanos in the house? What's up?

這裡也一些 Tejanos 嗎？ 你好嗎。

你離家很遠耶，（西語）女人。

So anyway, we're doing a show out in Eagle Pass, Texas.

總之，我們要在德州的 Eagle Pass做一場演出。

Now, I have a friend of mine named Rick Gutierrez, who's also a comic who was on last season who lives in San Antonio, Texas, which is about an hour or so away from Eagle Pass.

我有個朋友叫 Rick Gutierrez，他也是上一季的喜劇演員，住在德州的聖安東尼奧，距離 Eagle Pass 大概一個小時車程。

He bought a new car and he drove from Eagle Pass, I'm sorry, from San Antonio to Eagle Pass to meet up with his first show that night.

他買了一輛新車，從Eagle Pas開車，抱歉，從聖安東尼奧到Eagle Pas去迎接他當晚的第一場演出。

After the show was over, he says, "Hey, man," he goes, "You wanna leave a little bit early and we'll take my car and you can drive it, and the guys can catch up with us tomorrow in the tour bus."

演出結束後，他：「嘿，兄弟」他說道：「想早點離開，我們開我的車，你可以開它，那些人明天可以在旅遊巴士。」

所以我想：「酷，我們起飛吧。」

So I tell Martin and Trevor and the rest of the guys, "I'll see you guys tomorrow night. I'm leaving with Rick."

所以我告訴馬丁，崔弗和其他人：「明晚見。我要和瑞克一起走。」

字幕列表影片播放

喜劇演員間的玩笑凶爆到你無法想像 (Fluffy and Trevor Noah Once Toured Together | Gabriel Iglesias)

fluffy

dude

response

insanity