Name: 查理-芒格最有趣的時刻 (The Best of Charlie Munger | Most Funny Moments)
Uploaded: 2023-11-29T03:25:16.000Z
Duration: 6 min 18 s

But those of you who are about to enter business school or there, I recommend you learn to do it our way.

但是，對於那些即將進入商學院的學生，我建議你們學習我們的方法。

But at least until you're out of school, you have to pretend to do it that way.

但至少在你離開學校之前，你必須假裝這樣做。

Warren, If people weren't so often wrong, we wouldn't be so rich.

華倫，如果人們不是經常犯錯，我們也不會如此富有。

Yeah, I think you would understand any presentation using the word EBITDA.

是的，我想你會理解任何使用「稅息折舊及攤銷前利潤」一詞的報告。

Every time you saw that word, you just substituted the phrase bullshit earnings.

每次看到這個詞，你就用 "狗屁收入 "來代替。

It's not that much fun to buy a business where you really hope this sucker liquidates before it goes broke.

當要買下一樁（經營不佳的）生意，你其實希望這混蛋能來得及在破產前清算，這可不是什麼好玩的事。

I like cryptocurrencies a lot less than you do.

To me, it's just dementia, professional traders that go into trading cryptocurrencies.

對我來說，從事加密貨幣交易的只是痴呆症專業交易員。

It's like somebody else is trading Turds and you decide I can't be left out.

就好像別人在交易糞便，而你卻決定我不能被排除在外。

I don't think there are good arguments against my position.

我不認為有充分的理由反對我的立場。

I think the people that oppose my position are idiots.

我認為反對我立場的人都是白痴。

And so, no, I'm, I'm optimistic about life.

If I can be optimistic when I'm nearly dead, surely the rest of you can handle little inflation.

如果我在瀕臨死亡時還能保持樂觀，那麼你們其他人肯定也能應對小小的通貨膨脹。

The best way to get what you want in life is to deserve what you want.

在生活中得到你想要的東西的最好方法就是你值得擁有你想要的東西。

It's not crazy enough so that the world is looking for a lot of undeserving people to reward.

否則還不至於瘋狂到全世界都在找很多不值得獎勵的人來獎勵。

A director, getting 100 and $50,000 a year from a company who needs it is not an independent director.

一個董事需要從它的公司那裡每年得到 100 美元和 50000 美元，就不是一個獨立董事了。

They're looking for Chihuahuas and, and, and, and not Great Danes and yeah, and I hope I'm not insulting any of my friends that are on comp committees.

他們要找的是吉娃娃犬，而不是大丹犬，是的，我希望我沒有侮辱我在那些公司委員會工作的朋友。

Everybody wants fiscal virtue but not quite yet.

每個人都希望獲得財政美德，但現在還不是時候。

They're like that guy who felt that way about sex.

他們就像那個對性也這樣想的人。

He's willing to give it up but not quite yet.

他願意放棄，但還沒有完全放棄。

Well, you don't want to be like the motion picture executive in California and they said the funeral was so large because everybody wanted to make sure he was dead.

你可別像加利福尼亞的電影公司經理那樣，他們說葬禮這麼隆重，是因為每個人都想確保他已經死了。

That does not mean we approve of every buyback at all though.

但這並不意味著我們完全贊同每一次回購。

No no, I think some people just buy it to keep the stock up and that of course, is insane and immoral.

不，我的意思是，我認為有些人實施回購只是為了讓股票上漲，這當然是瘋狂和不道德的。

And yeah, it's perfectly obvious at least to me

是的，這非常明顯，至少在我看來

that to say that derivative accounting in America is a sewer is an insult to sewage.

說美國的衍生金融商品會計是下水道，是對汙水的侮辱。

I have listened to so many nonsensical cost of capital discussions that I've never heard of an intelligent one.

我聽過太多無厘頭的資本成本討論，卻從沒聽過有智慧的討論。

Yeah, Charlie's big on lowering expectations.

是啊，查理很喜歡降低期望值。

Absolutely. That's the way I got married.

All that said, some people do get confused.

綜上所述，有些人確實會感到困惑。

I play golf with a man and he says, what good is health?

我和一個人打高爾夫，他說，健康有什麼用？

Well, there are a whole lot of things I don't think about. And one of them was those companies, they are losing two or $3 billion a year and going public.

有很多事情我都沒想過，其中有一家公司，每年虧損二三十億美元，還要上市，而他們就是發明這種加密垃圾的人。

And the people who invented this crypto crap O.

and sometimes I call it, well, crypto shit.

It's just ridiculous that anybody would buy this stuff

竟然有人會買這個，簡直太荒謬了。

It is, it's even not slightly stupid. It's massively stupid

And accounting, you can do things like they do in Italy when they have trouble with the mail.

會計你可以像意大利人在郵件出現問題時那樣做。

You know, it piles up and irritates the postal employees.

要知道，這些郵件堆積如山，會激怒郵局員工。

They just throw away a few car loads and then everything flows smoothly thereafter.

他們就扔掉了幾車貨物，然後事情就順暢了

That happened in some unnamed international company, country.

一切就都發生在某個不知名的國際公司所在的國家了。

The general system for money management requires people to pretend that they can do something that they can't do and to pretend to like it when they really don't.

一般的資金管理制度要求人們假裝自己能做一些自己不能做的事情，假裝喜歡而實際上並不喜歡。

I think that's a terrible way to spend your life but it's very well paid.

我覺得這樣的生活很糟糕，但收入很高。

You are mixing something which is wretched and irrational and has bad consequences with something that, uh, has very good consequences.

你是在把一些可惡的、非理性的、有不良後果的東西和一些，呃，有非常好的後果的東西混為一談。

But, you know, if you mix Raisins with Turds, there's still Turds.

但是，你知道，如果你把葡萄乾和糞便混在一起，糞便還是糞便。

Um, ah, that's why they have me write the annual report.

這就是他們讓我寫年度報告的原因。

Well, I can't give you a formulaic approach because I don't use one.

我不能給你一個公式化的方法，因為我不用公式。

If you want a formula, you should go back to graduate school, they'll give you lots of formulas that won't work.

如果你想要一個公式，你應該回到研究生院去，他們會給你很多行不通的公式。

And Samuel Johnson said, famously, I can give you an argument, but I can't give you an understanding.

塞繆爾-約翰遜說過一句名言：我可以給你一個論點，但我不能給你一個理解。

It's extraordinary how resistant some people are learning anything.

這是非同尋常的，你知道，有些人抵抗學習任何事情。

The board at Lubrizol did not breach its duty because we were not going to participate in the transaction if they didn't do it our way.

Lubrizol 的董事會沒有違反其職責，因為如果他們不按我們的方式行事，我們就不會參與交易。

It's not that great a business as a business, casualty insurance.

作為一種商業意外保險，它的業務量並不大。

It's a tough game. There are temptations to be stupid, you know, it's like banking .

這是一場艱難的比賽。有一些誘惑會讓人變得愚蠢，你知道，這就像銀行業一樣。

but competency is a relative concept and what a lot of us need, including the one speaking, what I needed to get ahead was to meet, meet against idiots.

但能力是一個相對的概念，我們很多人需要的，包括那個發言的人，我要出人頭地，需要的是與白痴見面。

I see these people doing three things at once.

我看到這些人同時在做三件事。

And I think God, what a terrible boy that is to think.

我想，上帝啊，這是個多麼可怕的孩子啊。

Warren reminds me once I asked the man who just left a large investment bank and I said, how does your firm make its money?

戰爭讓我想起有一次我問一個剛剛離開一家大型投資銀行的人，我說，你們公司是怎麼賺錢的？

He said off the top, off the bottom, off both sides and in the middle.

他說從頂部、底部、兩側和中間。

Well, I would rather throw a viper down my shirt front than hire a compensation consultant.

我寧願把毒蛇扔進我的襯衫前襟，也不願意僱一個薪酬顧問。

嗯，我想我得罪的人已經夠多了。