Oh, hey there.

嗨，妳好。

It's been awhile, how are your provinces?

好久不見了，妳的省份還好嗎？

Oh, they grow up so fast. You know, I got my hands full with 10, I don't know how you take care of 50 states.

喔，他們成長得非常快速。妳知道我手中有滿滿十個省份，真不知道妳是怎麼照顧五十個州的。

Yeah, you know, well, it's not easy, the southern ones went through a rebellious phase.

對啊，妳知道這不容易，南部的那些還經歷了一個反叛時期。

And what about the adopted ones?

那後來領養的那個呢？

Oh, Alaska and Hawaii? Yeah, I haven't told them yet, but I think they've figured it out by now.

喔，妳說阿拉斯加和夏威夷嗎？我沒有明確告訴他們這個事實，但我想他們已經自行弄清楚了。

And the really loud one?

那很吵那個呢？

- Texas is still Texas. Oh, Canada, we should you know, hang out sometime, maybe play some baseball. - Play some hockey.

- 德州還是德州啊！喔，加拿大，妳知道我們應該多多約出去的，也許可以一起玩個棒球。- 玩個曲棍球。

What? What's baseball?

什麼？什麼是棒球？

Oh, sorry, I got to get this.

喔抱歉，我必須接這通電話。

China, baby, how's it going?

中國，寶貝，你過得好嗎？

Yes, I know I owe you a lot of money. Always making it about money.

對啊，我知道我欠你很多錢。我們總是因為錢而糾纏不清。

You know what, listen. I will get it to you tomorrow.

你知道嗎？聽著，我明天會還你錢。

Do you have like four trillion dollars I could borrow?

妳有四兆可以借我嗎？

What am I saying, you're Canada. Okay, listen.

我到底是說什麼，妳是加拿大耶！好吧，聽著。

I will give you my watch until I can pay. That's right, you did make this.

我會給你我的手錶直到我可以還款的那一天。喔對，這支錶的確是你做的。

China, you can't tell me what to do. Okay, I will do that, bye.

中國，你不能告訴我該做什麼。好了，我會那麼做的，再見。

Besties, oh, hide me.

我的好閨密，喔，快把我藏起來。

What? Oh come on, you guys haven't dated since 76.

什麼？喔拜託，你們從一七七六年就分手到現在了好嗎？

I know, but it's so awkward.

我知道啊，但真的好尷尬喔！

Well, I told you to break up with him in person, and not over declaration. Come on, you can do this. I've got some hockey stuff to purchase.

我就跟你說過要跟他當面分手而不是透過宣言的方式。你可以的！我還要買一些曲棍球的東西。

Oh, hi, USA, didn't even see you there, which is weird, because you've put on a lot of land.

喔嗨，美國，這真的很奇怪，我甚至沒有注意到妳，因為妳增加了好多領土。

Hi, Britain.

嗨，英國。

You know, I've just felt so free the last few centuries, what with the breakup and all, never looked back.

妳知道嗎？在過去的幾個世紀裡我覺得非常自由，與妳分手和所有相關的一切我都不曾後悔。

You tried to get back together in 1812.

你明明在一八一二年的時候試圖挽回。

Yes, well, anyway, I've just been having so much success lately, with the Beatles and Harry Potter and Downton Abbey. I don't even think about us anymore.

是沒錯，但不管怎樣，我最近因為披頭四、哈利波特和唐頓莊園變得很成功。我甚至不再想我們之間的事了。

That's great.

那很好啊！

Take me back, please? Britain.

讓我回到你身邊嘛！好嗎？英國。

- Is it another man? Is it France? - Oh, gross, no.

- 是有了別的男人了嗎？是法國嗎？- 喔，好噁心，不是。

Then what is it? Give me a reason.

那到底是為什麼？給我一個理由。

Okay, you want to know why? I will tell you. Oh, North Korea.

好啊，如果你想知道為什麼，我可以告訴你。喔！北韓。

Hello foreign scum. You want to see?

哈囉，外國佬。你們要看看嗎？

Do I or don't I?

我打開嗎？不開嗎？

Just pay me some attention!

給我一點關注好嗎？

Okay, I will tell you why. When we dated, the sun never set on your cheating.

好啊，我告訴你為什麼。我們交往的時候你總是對我不忠。

You made a pass at every country you saw! Australia, India, Bahamas.

你在每個你經過的國家留情！澳洲、印度、巴哈馬。

Mmm, Bahamas. Okay.

嗯，巴哈馬。你看。

You know what and then there's just respect, I can't date a guy that I've beaten in war.

你知道嗎？然後就是尊重，我無法和一個在戰爭中被我打敗的人約會。

Okay, I was not trying my hardest.

好吧！我只是沒有盡全力。

Ok, plus you are desperate, okay? We broke up and you found every excuse you could to get me over, like oh, USA, I'm having a war, oh, come help me, oh, USA, I'm having another war, oh, I'm having an Olympics, come destroy me in every event. Oh.

好啊，你其實很絕望好嗎？我們雖然分手了，但你總是找各種理由接近我，像是：喔，美國，我現在在打仗，妳快來幫我；喔，美國，又有戰爭了；喔，我現在要舉辦奧運，來每場比賽中摧毀我啊。喔。

Desperate. Am I right, Switzerland?

真令人絕望。我說得對嗎，瑞士？

I'm staying out of this. Look me in the eyes and tell me you're over It.

這不干我的事。看著我的眼睛然後跟我說妳想結束掉這段感情。

I'm over it. Owie.

我想結束。噢。

Look, I celebrate our breakup with fireworks, okay, I blow things up.

看好，我用煙火慶祝我們分手，我很會小題大作。

Fine, then. I don't need you or your bad credit.

好啊，那我不需要妳也不要妳的爛信用。

Okay, I don't need a boyfriend who plays the wrong football.

好啊，我不需要一個連足球到底長怎樣都分不清楚的人。

Oh, right, I'll see you later, have a good obesity epidemic.

喔，好啊，下次再見，祝妳那裡肥胖大流行。

Get a dental plan. Which way did Canada?

你還是去看牙醫吧！加拿大在哪裡呢？

That way. Oh, Canada!

那裡。喔，加拿大！