And yet it can be troublingly hard from the outside, at least to understand why.

然而，至少從外部來看，我們很難理解其中的原因、

Even though the matter is one of the most urgent for anyone reflecting on relationships and their chances of succeeding at them.

儘管這個問題對於任何反思愛情的人來說都是最緊迫的問題之一。在複雜的情況下取得成功的機會。

But we can know for sure is the success in love isn't about luck.

我們可以肯定的是，這與運氣無關

Couples who make it will, on frequent occasions, have looked very much as if they wouldn't.

成功的夫婦經常會在很多情況下看起來很像他們不會成功。

They will have despaired, slammed the door, packed a suitcase and walked to the station.

他們會絕望地摔門而出，收拾好行李箱，步行前往車站。

But they won't have boarded the train, not because they weren't sorely tempted, but because at the last minute they remembered something key about human beings:

但他們不會登上火車，不是因為他們沒有受到強烈的誘惑，而是因為在最後關頭，他們想起了人類的一個重要特徵：每個人都

that everyone is in the end pretty much as awful as everyone else.

最終和其他人一樣糟糕。

They didn't allow themselves to get overly idealistic about strangers.

他們不允許自己對陌生人過於理想化。

They understood that the difficulties they were facing would be those that would necessarily unfold with pretty much anyone they could be with, in one form or another.

他們明白，他們所面臨的困難必然是以這樣或那樣的形式，與幾乎所有可能在一起的人展開。

They accepted that we are all intrinsically flawed, out-of-control disturbed creatures, mired in madness, error and confusion, and generally worthy more of compassion than fury.

他們承認，我們每個人都有內在的缺陷，都是失控的受擾生物，都深陷於在瘋狂、錯誤和混亂中--通常更值得同情而不是憤怒。

They lost the will to believe in that most destructive of illusions: flawless love.

他們失去了相信最溫柔、最具破壞性的幻想的意願：完美無瑕。愛

Those who wind up sticking around are those who can suppose, after a three-day-long argument followed by a week long sulk,

那些在長達三天的爭吵之後，仍能堅持下去的戀人們

that neither their partner nor they are ultimately especially dreadful, only averagely and typically so.

然後是長達一週的悶悶不樂，他們的伴侶和他們自己最終都沒有特別可怕--只是一般和典型的可怕。

They become each other's best friend rather than upbraiding, angry angel.

他們成為彼此最好的朋友，而不是訓斥、憤怒的天使。

They recognize that they are trying to do something extremely complicated together, and block their ears to society's malicious suggestion that it might ever be easy.

他們認識到，他們正試圖共同完成一件極其複雜的事情--並阻止他們聽不進社會的惡意暗示，認為這可能是件容易的事。