字幕列表 影片播放
Welcome back to engVid. Here we are with a writing lesson.
歡迎回到 engVid。我們現在進行一堂寫作課程。
We are looking at the skill of showing, not telling, and it's going to transform your writing as long as you put it into practice afterwards.
我們將學習展示而非告訴的技巧,只要你在之後實踐,這將會改變你的寫作方式。
"Show, not tell. What's he talking about?"
"展示,不要告訴。他在講什麼?"
When we're writing, we want to avoid simple statements that don't really add any description or flavour.
在寫作時,我們要避免使用簡單的語句,因為這些語句並不能真正增加任何描述內容或風味。
For example: "The man was stressed."
例如:"那人壓力很大"。
Boring.
無聊。
Instead, I want you to paint a picture, I really want you to describe the man is stressed without telling me that he is.
相反,我想讓你畫一幅畫,我希望你能描述那個男人感到壓力,而不是告訴我他感到壓力。
So how can you do that? We're kind of trying to avoid this word, and describe it instead.
那麼如何才能做到這一點呢?我們試圖避開這個詞,而是用描述的。
So what's he doing? "The man was fidgeting."
他在幹什麼?"那人坐立不安啊。"
Ah, he's fidgeting. He's so stressed, he can't sort of stay still. And biting his nails.
他在坐立不安。他如此緊張,無法保持安靜,還咬著指甲。
Okay? So pick out a couple of details that show how the person was.
因此,挑選出一些細節,展示這個人的狀態。
Next one: "The room was messy." Again, it's a simple, simple sentence.
下一個:「房間很亂。」同樣,這是一個簡單的句子。
It's just one sort of main clause and it's not very interesting.
這只是一個主要子句,並且不是非常有趣。
Much better to describe the items in the room that make it messy.
更好的方法是描述使房間變亂的物品。
For example: "There was a leftover pizza, dirty clothes were strewn"...
例如:"那裡有剩下的比薩、骯髒的衣物被散落"…
I'll write that word for you.
我來幫你寫這個詞。
That means they were covering the floor.
那意味著它們覆蓋著地板。
"..and there were dirty plates and cups".
「...還有骯髒的盤子和杯子。」
Okay? These details give us the idea that it is messy.
這些細節給了我們一個 "亂 "的概念。
Example three: "The woman was confident."
例子三:「這位女士很有自信。」
Okay, but it'd be much more effective if you described how she was confident.
好的,但如果您描述她是如何自信的,效果會更好。
So, how does she move? How do other people react to her?
他怎麼走路的?他人對他的反應如何?
"She strode", that means she walked, but with purpose. Okay? So I've picked an interesting verb.
「她大步走路」,著意味着她走路時很有目的。我選了一個有趣的動詞。
"She strode into the room, and everyone turned their heads to notice her."
「她大步走進房間,所有人都轉過頭注意到了她。」
Okay? Much clearer, more vivid idea of confidence than just saying she was confident.
明白了吧? 比只說她自信要清晰、更生動。
Example four: "The boy was careful."
例子四:「男孩很小心。」
Tell us how he was careful.
描述他如何小心。
"He placed his favourite magazine in the top drawer of his cabinet."
「他把他最喜歡的雜誌放在櫃子最上面的抽屜裡。」
Okay? So we need to say exactly what he is placing, the object there has been missed out.
所以我們需要準確地說出他放置的是什麼,那裡的物體已經被遺漏了。
"He placed"... There's no room for me to write it. You get the idea.
「他放置了」……沒有空間讓我寫了。 你明白吧。
He places his favourite book or magazine, and look how specific it is: "the top drawer of his cabinet".
他放置了他最喜歡的書或雜誌,看看它有多具體:「他櫃子最上面的抽屜」。
Next example: "The stadium was full."
下一個例子;「體育場爆滿。」
Again, I'm bored with this simple sentence construction.
再次,我對這種簡單的句子結構感到厭倦。
We need to make it more interesting. "The sound from the stadium was deafening", okay?
我們需要讓它更有趣。「體育場的聲音震耳欲聾。」
And then give us some main action perhaps: "The sound from the stadium was deafening as the crowd rose up to chant the player's name."
然後再給我們一些主要動作吧:「體育場的聲音震耳欲聾,當觀眾們高呼球員的名字時。」
Okay? Give the sense that the stadium is full from what you can see and what you can hear. Okay?
讓讀者透過你的描述感覺到體育場座無虛席,既包括視覺上的感受,也包括聽覺上的感受。
A couple of ones to describe weather.
有幾個可以描述天氣。
"It was hot."
「很熱。」
Okay, well, a very young child could write a sentence like that, so if you're sort of a teenager or an adult, it's time to raise the bar.
一個很小的孩子也可以寫出這樣的句子,所以如果你是青少年或成年人,現在是時候提高標準了。
How can we tell that it is hot? Well: "The sun was causing damage to",
我們怎麼知道天氣很熱呢? 「太陽正在造成損害,」
"The sun was melting", "The sun was burning", "The sun was causing the lady's skin to turn red".
「太陽正在融化,」「太陽正在燃燒,」『太陽使這位女士的皮膚變紅。」
Okay? Pick out details that show the effect.
挑出能體現效果的細節。
"It was cold. It was cold." How do we know it was cold? How cold did it feel? What can you see?
「很冷,很冷。」我們怎麼知道它很冷?感覺有多冷?可以看到什麼?
"Drainpipes were freezing, ice was as thick as"... I don't know.
「排水管都凍住了,冰厚得像......」我不知道。
"It was three inches thick." Whatever, you've got to show details rather than just stating things.
「有三英寸厚。」不管怎樣,你得展示細節,而不是僅僅陳述事情。
"It was windy."
「風很大」。
"The umbrella was totally bent out of shape. The umbrella"-you know for keeping the rain off us-"was totally"-that means fully-"bent" -Yeah? Bent-"...out of shape", out of its normal position.
「雨傘完全彎曲變形了。雨傘」——你知道它是用來擋雨的——「完全」——這意味著完全——「彎曲」——是嗎? 彎曲——“…變形”,偏離正常位置。
"He found it funny." Right? How funny did he find it? Okay? Better to...
「他覺得這很有趣。」 他覺得這有多好笑? 最好...
For us to get the idea to picture what he was doing: "He was rolling around the floor in hysterics."
讓我們想像一下他在做什麼:「他歇斯底里地在地板上打滾。」
Okay? When you're so... Find something so funny, you're like: [Laughs].
你...發現一些有趣的事情, 你喜歡,你會笑成這樣。
Okay? He can't control his body he finds it so funny. "Hysterics", that means like totally lost control. "Hysteria".
他無法控制自己的身體,他覺得這很有趣。 「歇斯底里」,意思是完全失控。 「歇斯底里」。
Okay? Hysterics. "In hysterics" means finding something really, really funny.
好嗎?歇斯底里「In hysterics」是指發現一些非常非常有趣的事。
"The castle was captured." Right.
「城堡被攻陷了」。
I want to get a sense of drama. I want to imagine what's happening there at the castle. Is the king having his head cut off?
我想要感受到戲劇性。 我想像一下城堡裡發生了什麼事。 國王是不是要被砍頭了?
Are the new army marching in? What's happening?
新軍要進軍了嗎? 發生了什麼事?
"The new flag was hoisted up on high, greeted by a cheer from the crowd."
「新國旗高高升起,人群歡呼雀躍。」
Okay? Paint pictures, pick out details. Okay?
描繪畫面,挑選細節。
It's good to have a range of adjectives, but how can you show those adjectives? How can you describe them instead?
知道一系列形容詞固然很好,但要如何展示這些形容詞? 你該如何描述它們呢?
Thank you for watching today's video. Have a go at the quiz after this, and I'll see you very soon.
感謝觀看今天的影片。之後請做個小測驗,很快再見。
Remember to subscribe. Bye.
記得訂閱。再見。