A lot of things are like starting to tick me off.

很多事情都讓我很不爽。

Do you guys shop at Whole Foods?

你們在全食超市購物嗎？

Anybody? Shopping... Ok.

有人會在那要購物嗎？好的。

Rich white people in here. I see it.

這裡都是有錢的白人。我看到了。

I'm on HBO.

我的節目在 HBO 上播出。

I still can't afford chicken at Whole Foods.

我還是買不起全食超市的雞肉。

That's messed up.

有夠扯。

Chickens (are) $8 a pound of Whole Foods.

全食超市的雞肉每磅 8 美元。

$8, 'cause all they got is the fancy organic free-range chicken. Ok?

$8 美金，只買得到高級有機散養雞。

Chicken should not be more than the federal minimum wage.

雞肉不應高於聯邦最低工資標準。

You shouldn't like be frying an hour worth of nuggets at Mcdonald's and only afford half a chicken thigh at Whole Foods. That's messed up.

你不應該在麥當勞炸一個小時的炸雞塊，卻只買得起全食超市的半隻雞腿。

And don't get me wrong, I'm all about like animal rights; I'm all about like free-range animal.

別誤會我的意思，我非常重視動物權利。 我喜歡自由放養的動物。

But I still live in a one-bedroom apartment with two roommates.

但我仍然和兩個室友住在一間臥室的公寓裡。

I'm not even a free-range human being. Ok?

我甚至不是一個自由自在的人。好的。

I don't need to eat a chicken that lived better than I did.

我不需要吃一隻活得比我更好的雞。

The chickens are on 20 acres of Napa; I'm in 200 square foot in Pacoima.

雞住在納帕 20 英畝土地上，我住在帕科馬 200 平方英尺的房子裡。

It's messed up, bullshit.

這簡直是有夠瞎。

'Cause this is how they try to sell you on the chicken like Foster Pharmacy, this corporate company.

因為他們就是這樣向你推銷雞肉的，像福斯特藥房這樣的企業公司。

They're like the happier the chicken, the better it tastes right.

他們覺得雞肉月快樂，越好吃。

It's bullshit.

這是胡扯。

Don't listen to that.

別聽他的。

I want to eat the most miserable chicken possible.

我想吃最難吃的雞肉。

So I don't feel bad killing a happy chicken.

這樣殺了一隻快樂的雞我才不會難過。

I want to eat the chicken that's borderline suicidal, you know?

我想吃瀕臨自殺邊緣的雞。

Just lost his custody battle, getting divorced and shit.

他剛剛輸掉了監護權爭奪戰，正在鬧離婚什麼的。

It's gonna kill itself anyways, I'm just doing it a favor.

無論如何，它都會自殺的，我只是在幫他的忙。

Like the Dr. Kevorkian of chickens.

就像雞界的 Kevorkian 醫生一樣。

And just to rob you further. right?

為了進一步搶劫你。

Just to rob you further, these grocery stores, they force you to donate money, you know what I'm talking about?

為了進一步搶劫你，這些雜貨店會強迫你捐錢。你懂我在說什麼嗎？

It's a public shaming is what it is.

這是公開羞辱。

As you checking out your groceries, the cashier lady, she's like, "Sir, today with you purchases, do you like to also donate a dollar to the Save the Children Foundation?"

在你結帳時，收銀員女士會說：「先生，今天你購買這些東西，是否願意向拯救兒童基金會捐贈一美元？」

I'm like, "Look bitch, all I got is four packs of ramen noodles, man."

我就：「聽著，婊子，我身上只有四包拉麵。」

"What the fuck do you want from me? Somebody should give me a dollar, OK?"

「你他媽的想從我這裡得到什麼？別人才應該要給我一塊錢，好嗎？」

I just use coupons and my EBT card.

我跟剛用優惠券和我的 EBT 卡結帳的耶。

It's messed up.

真是有夠扯。

Somebody behind me in line was like, "Oh my God, that Asian chick is really mad. Wow, better be careful."

排在我後面的人說：「天哪，那個亞洲小妞真的瘋了。哇，小心點。」