Perhaps you're often talked down to and treated as less than.

也許你經常被人說三道四，被人視為低人一等，

Sometimes people can be harsh and judgmental and you may feel as if they don't hold any respect for you.

有時人們會對你苛刻、評頭論足，你可能會覺得他們不尊重你。

It's not always nice to hang around those who don't value you.

和那些不重視你的人混在一起並不總是件好事。

So if given the chance, it may be best to simply walk away and say good riddance.

如果有機會，最好的辦法可能是一走了之，說聲再見。

But if you find you are always being subtly treated this way, maybe you'd like to adopt some behaviors to gain respect.

但是，如果你發現自己總是受到這種對待，也許你想採取一些行為來贏得尊重。

You can still be you, you just simply respect yourself enough to not let others walk all over.

你仍然可以做你自己，只是你要足夠尊重自己，不要讓別人踩在腳下。

Sound like a plan? OK.

聽起來是個不錯的計劃嗎？好喔。

Here are six ways to get people to respect you.

以下是讓別人尊重你的六種方法。

Number one, respect yourself first.

第一，首先要尊重自己。

We should all learn to love ourselves and in doing so give us the respect we deserve.

我們都應該學會愛自己，並在愛自己的過程中給予自己應有的尊重。

Often at times we can be too harsh on ourselves and let our insecurities and dark thoughts take the lead.

我們常常對自己過於苛刻，讓我們的不安全感和負面想法主導我們的生活。

But do away with them

但應該努力擺脫它們。

With a little practice self-respect, you can be on your way to thinking higher of yourself and loving you in the process.

在這個過程中，你可以對自己有更高的要求，並愛上自己。

Many researchers, such as Herbert M. Lefcourt, state that having a sense of internal locus of control, over our own lives, is a key condition for our mental health.

Herbert M. Lefcourt 等許多研究人員都指出，對自己的生活擁有內部控制感是我們心理健康的關鍵條件。

Someone with an internal locus of control believes the things that happen to them are strongly influenced by their own actions, abilities or mistakes.

有內部控制感的人認為，發生在自己身上的事情受到自己的行為、能力或錯誤的強烈影響，從而踐行自尊。

To practice self respect, you must first allow yourself to say no without feeling guilty.

首先，你必須允許自己說 "不 "而不感到內疚，

Prioritize what is important in your life; protect yourself and choose to keep only healthy relationships.

優先考慮生活中重要的事情，保護自己，選擇只保持健康的人際關係。

It's key to not let others take advantage of you and make sure you get what you pay for in life.

關鍵是不要讓別人佔你的便宜，確保你在生活中得到你所付出的。

So if you're at an ice cream stand and you paid for two scoops of ice cream and only received one,

如果你在冰淇淋攤前買了兩勺冰淇淋，卻只得到了一勺，

instead of brushing it off, simply ask that you receive that extra chocolate scoop, and don't feel guilty about it.

與其拂袖而去，不如直接要求多給你一勺巧克力，不要為此感到內疚。

It's just ice cream and you're hungry.

這只是冰淇淋，你餓了。

Your priority right now is to satisfy your appetite and guess what? Ice cream is the way.

你現在的首要任務是滿足你的食慾，猜猜怎麼著？冰淇淋就是解方。

Two scoops, please.

請來兩勺冰淇淋。

Furthermore, it's important to know you can create your own happiness, not just others.

此外，重要的是要知道你可以創造自己的幸福，而不僅僅是別人的幸福。

This is a form of self-respect as well.

這也是一種自尊。

So go ahead and enjoy those two scoops.

所以，請盡情享用這兩勺吧。

You respect yourself too much to not appreciate them and you.

你尊重自己，不會不珍惜自己和你的優點。

Number two, set clear boundaries.

第二，要設定明確的界限。

It's important to set boundaries for ourselves and others.

為自己和他人設定界限非常重要。

Let's say your friend often comes over to your house for movie night.

比方說，你的朋友經常來你家看電影。

You love and care for your friend, but they aren't the most respectful guests.

你愛你的朋友，關心他們，但他們並不是最值得尊敬的客人。

They put their feet up on your coffee table.

他們把腳放在你的咖啡桌上，

They bring their dog fleas over.

把狗跳蚤帶過來，

They eat most of your food and they leave Cheeto Puff remains on your furniture, everywhere.

他們吃掉你的大部分食物，並在你的家具上到處留下奇多泡芙的殘渣。

Do they respect you?

他們尊重你嗎？

It doesn't look like it.

看起來不像。

A good step would be to set some boundaries for when company comes over and discuss them with your dear friend.

一個好的辦法是，當有同伴來訪時，為他們設定一些界限，並與你的好友討論這些界限。

You can be kind when discussing this with them and consider their point of view as well,

在與他們討論這個問題時，你可以態度和藹，也可以考慮他們的觀點，

but it's your home and it's ultimately your rules.

但這是你的家，最終還是你說了算。

So tell them they can't keep scavenging through your fridge.

所以，告訴他們不能繼續在你的冰箱裡搜刮。

Fleas must be on a leash, and to keep their cheese-filled hands to themselves. Not on the furniture.

狗狗要上牽繩，他們沾滿起司的手手不能碰家具。

And pause off the table, fleas.

跳蚤，別爬上桌子。

Number three, understand you don't have to be nice all the time.

第三，你要明白，你沒必要一直表現得友好。

Who wouldn't want to be nice when they want to?

誰不想隨心所欲地做個好人呢？

But when you feel like you have to at the expense of your own happiness, it's not a good idea.

但是，當你覺得必須以犧牲自己的幸福為代價時，這就不是一個好主意了。

Sadly, a lot of people think they can take advantage of those who are kind to them.

可悲的是，很多人認為他們可以利用那些對他們好的人。

This doesn't mean you have to stop being a good person.

這並不意味著你必須停止做一個好人。

Just simply know when you must put yourself first and also don't feel guilty about it all the time.

只要知道什麼時候必須把自己放在第一位，也不要總是為此感到內疚。

You may think that if you don't do every favor your friend asks of you, they might not like you anymore.

你可能會認為，如果你不幫朋友的每一個忙，他們可能就不再喜歡你了。

But what kind of friend is that?

但這算什麼朋友呢？

You may feel guilty if you don't accept your friend's invitation to hang out every time.

如果你每次都不接受朋友的邀請一起出去玩，你可能會感到內疚，

But you just got snuggled into a bubble bath.

但你剛洗了個泡泡浴。

You'd just like to be alone tonight.

你今晚只想一個人靜一靜。

Perhaps you don't allow yourself to not smile.

也許你不允許自己不笑。

So you throw on a contrived smile before you go out the door.

於是，你在出門之前裝出一副勉強的笑容。

Even when you're having a bad day.

即使你今天過得很糟糕。

As great as smiling feels, a forced smile can't always make you feel better.

雖然微笑讓人感覺很好，但強顏歡笑並不總能讓人感覺更好。

Allow yourself to admit you're having a bad day.

允許自己承認今天過得很糟糕。

You don't need to be in a certain mood for anyone.

你不需要為任何人保持某種情緒。

Allowing unnecessary guilt to take control can leave you associating these once-happy actions with something forced and uncomfortable.

讓不必要的負罪感控制自己，會讓你把這些曾經快樂的舉動與一些被迫的、不舒服的事情聯繫起來，

Practice assuring yourself that if you allow yourself the guilt free time to relax first, you'll only feel happier when the time comes to hang out with your friend next.

練習向自己保證，如果你允許自己先放鬆一下，讓自己沒有負罪感，那麼當你和朋友出去玩的時候，你只會感到更快樂。

Number four, speak up.

第四點，大聲說出來。

Many of us often have shy personalities.

我們中的許多人往往性格靦腆。

So doing all the talking during a group conversation may not be our thing,

集體談話中，我們可能不喜歡把所有的話都說出來，

but just because you're shy doesn't mean you should let others interrupt you.

但害羞並不意味著你應該讓別人打斷你。

If others often interrupt you or appear as if they aren't listening, there's some tricks you can use to make yourself heard.

如果別人經常打斷你的話，或者看起來好像沒有在聽，可以使用一些技巧來讓別人聽到你的聲音。

First, try saying the name of the person you're speaking to mid-conversation.

首先嘗試在談話中說出對方的名字，

Similar to the cocktail party effect, we will often have our attention pulled back to reality when our names are heard.

類似於雞尾酒會效應，當我們聽到自己的名字時，我們通常會被拉回現實。

Such as when we're at a cocktail party and hear our name in the distance.

例如，當我們在一個雞尾酒會上聽到自己的名字時。

You know how your music teacher would always say your name mid-sentence to regain your attention.

你知道你的音樂老師總是會在說到一半時叫出你的名字，以重新吸引你的注意力。

We're doing the same thing here.

我們也在做同樣的事情。

Another trick is to often use hand gestures and give an equal amount of eye contact to everyone.

另一個訣竅是經常使用手勢，並與每個人進行等量的眼神交流。

Using hand gestures grabs attention and strongly conveys your message.

使用手勢，吸引注意力，強烈傳達資訊，眼神交流。

Eye contact, if someone was looking into the depths of your soul, you'd be bound to notice.

如果有人在窺視你的靈魂深處，你一定會注意到。

Just make sure you give everyone equal amounts of eye contact.

只是要確保與每個人都有平等的眼神交流。

Maybe no soul staring today.

也許今天沒有靈魂在凝視。

Number five, don't over apologize.

第五，不要過度道歉。

Do you often find yourself apologizing for something that wasn't even your fault?

你是否經常發現自己在為一些根本不是自己的錯而道歉？

It may just become habit to say sorry when something goes wrong.

出錯時說對不起可能只是一種習慣，

You may only want to say it to not be unkind, but your words should carry weight, especially an apology.

說對不起可能只是為了不顯得不近人情，但你的話應該有分量，尤其是道歉。

If you apologize too often, your sorry maybe viewed as nothing to others who hear it too often.

如果你過於頻繁地道歉，你的抱歉可能會被別人視為無足輕重。

And unfortunately, over-apologizing can be assigned to others that you are submissive.

你聽得太多了，不幸的是，過度道歉遲早會讓別人認為你是順從的。

Sooner or later, they'll assume you'll be the one to take the blame or that you're too nice to speak up if they walk all over you.

他們會認為你是背黑鍋的那個人，或者你太好說話了。

Some common things we unnecessarily apologize for.

如果他們在你身上走來走去，我們就會為一些常見的事情不必要地道歉。嗯。

If you don't want to do a favor, don't apologize.

如果你不想幫忙，就不要道歉。

It's a favor.

這是幫我的忙。

If you have an opposing opinion, agree to disagree, it's your opinion, stand by it.

如果你有反對意見，那就同意不同意，這是你的意見，請堅持。

Remember, you don't have to be unkind.

記住，你不必不近人情。

Say sorry when sorry is due, but be conscious of how often and how unnecessarily you do say it.

該說對不起時就說對不起，但要注意說對不起的頻率和不必要的程度。

And number six, display confident body language.

第六，展示自信的肢體語言 自信是關鍵。

Confidence is key. That's what people often say and it can be very true most times.

這是人們常說的一句話，也可能是非常正確的。

If you want to command respect, a good way is to let your body language show that you can't be pushed around.

如果你想要贏得尊重，一個好的方法是讓你的身體語言顯示出你不容易被推來推去。

Quite literally, too.

就是字面上意思。

Strong stance and good posture won't send you toppling over if bumped into.

強而穩固的站姿和良好的姿勢在碰到時不會使你摔倒。

So use good posture and stand up tall.

所以請保持良好的姿勢，站得高高的。

Make good eye contact when listening and speaking.

在傾聽和發言時保持良好的眼神交流，

Crossing our arms is often seen as defensive, so it's best to relax them by your side.

交叉雙臂通常會被視為一種防禦。

Carry your head high and eyes forward, instead of looking to the ground,

最好讓它們在你身邊放鬆，昂首挺胸，目視前方，而不是看向地面，

Observe the scene at a party. Don't be afraid to people watch. It's a party after all.

觀察聚會現場，不要害怕大家都在看，畢竟這是一個派對。

And remember those hand gestures?

還記得手勢嗎？

Continue to use the speaking and you'll be as confident and respected as an Italian chef at a pizzeria. Mamma Mia.

繼續使用手勢，你就會像披薩店裡的意大利廚師一樣自信和受人尊敬。媽媽咪呀！

Sorry, too much ice cream and a pizza.

對不起，冰淇淋和披薩吃多了。

Oops, not sorry.

哎呀，不是抱歉。

So do you often feel disrespected?

那麼，你是否經常感到不被尊重？

Will you use these tips?

你會使用這些技巧嗎？

Do you say sorry often?

你經常說抱歉嗎？

Let us know about a time where you felt disrespected.

讓我們知道你是否曾有過不被尊重的感覺嗎。

Which tips would you use to command the respect of others?

你會使用哪些技巧來贏得他人的尊重？

Share with us in the comments below.

請在下面的評論中與我們分享。

If you found this video helpful, don't forget to click the like button and share this video with someone who may need it.

如果你覺得這段影片對你有幫助，請不要忘記按讚，並將這段影片分享給可能需要的人。

Subscribe to like Psych2Go and hit the notification bell icon for more content like this.

訂閱 Psych2Go 開啟小鈴鐺，獲取更多類似內容。

And as always, thanks for watching.

一如既往，感謝您的收看。