I don't expect everyone to know everything, alright?

我不指望每個人都什麼都知道，對吧？

But definitely, Americans are ignorant.

但美國人肯定是無知的，

'Cause like a couple of times after the show, after a comedy show, I had, you know, people come up to me,

因為有幾次在演出結束後，在喜劇演出結束後，人們走過來對我說，

"Hey, I gotta tell you something. Are you a North Korean or South Korean?"

「嘿，我得告訴你一件事。你是北韓人還是南韓人？」

Am I a North Korean comedian, bro?

我是北韓喜劇演員嗎，兄弟？

I'm like, OK, honestly, there's millions of people starving to death in North Korea.

我想，哦，好吧，老實說，北韓有數百萬人餓死。

They don't allow anybody to escape.

他們不允許任何人逃跑。

If you do escape into China and they capture you, they take you back and torture you and sometimes your entire family.

如果你逃到中國，被他們抓住，他們就會把你抓回去，折磨你，有時還會折磨你的全家。

I was thinking,

我在想，

what would it take for someone to escape North Korea to China, somehow learn English through Google, come here, and become a stand-up comedian?

一個人要怎樣才能從北韓逃到中國，通過谷歌學習英語，來這裡，成為一名脫口秀喜劇演員？

He'd be the most ambitious comedian on earth, man.

他肯定是世界上最有野心的喜劇演員。

He should get his own HBO Special, man.

他應該有自己的 HBO 特別節目。

I don't care about food.

我不在乎食物。

I don't care about clothing.

我不在乎衣服。

I must tell a joke.

我必須講笑話。

I must tell a joke.

我必須講笑話。

What the hell is a North Korean comedian gonna be like, man.

北韓喜劇演員會是什麼樣子？

Hello, everybody.

大家好。

I am American.

我是美國人。

I am American.

我是美國人。

Anybody have food today?

今天誰有吃東西了。

I tried food two days in a row.

我連續兩天嘗試了食物。

It's amazing.

太神奇了。

It's a serious situation, man.

這很嚴重誒。

That's why I want to get a tattoo that raises awareness.

這就是為什麼我想要紋一個紋身來提高人們的意識。

Like a lot of women, they get tattoos of butterflies above their ass.

像很多女人一樣，她們在屁股上方紋上蝴蝶的圖案。

They're raising aware...

他們正在提高....

No, they're raising awareness for butterflies.

不，他們是在提高人們對蝴蝶的認識。

Butterflies are becoming extinct and every year the wings get bigger and bigger and bigger.

蝴蝶越來越少，然後翅膀越來越大。

I wanted to get a meaningful tattoo.

我想刺一個有意義的紋身。

So I got a tattoo of North and South Korea on my ass about it by my crack.

是以，我在屁股上的裂縫處紋了一個南北韓的紋身。

And, why are you guys laughing?

你們笑什麼？

Why you guys laughing?

為什麼你們都在笑？

Every time I use the restroom, I feel the pain in my divided country.

我每次上廁所，我就會感受到我分裂的國家的痛苦，

And you guys are laughing.

而你們卻在笑。

That's messed up, man.

真是一團糟。

I asked my boy, you know, Walter, I'm like,

我問我的兄弟，沃爾特：

"Yo, what if the North Korean leader he said that he would release North Korean refugees into America if you took it up the ass from him."

「如果北韓領導他說，你幫他肛交的話，他就會釋放北韓難民進入美國。」

And he was like, "Oh man, dude, why you ask me these questions, man?"

他說：「老兄，你為什麼問我這些問題？」

He's like, "I'll do it for a million, a million refugees," you would have to do it for a million, right?

他就說：「我願意為了一百萬，一百萬的難民，」如果是一百萬難民你會做吧？

You would have to do it.

你必須做。

You would have to take it up the ass.

你必須幫他肛交。

If a million starving women and children were going to be released into freedom, you'd be a hero, man.

如果有一百萬飢寒交迫的婦女和兒童獲得自由，你就是英雄了。

But you'd be a different kind of hero.

但是一個與眾不同的英雄。

For the rest of your life, everyone is like, "Dude, that's the person you know, that released the refugees," and they're like,

你的餘生，大家都會說：「老兄，這就是那個釋放了難民的那個人。」

"But you know what a statue looks like, right?"

「但你知道他的雕像長怎樣吧？」

The statue is like this.

長這樣。

"Go, go, go."

「快，快，快。」