So, it's a skill that's wired into us, wired into our brains; it's a very unique skill.

那是我們與身俱來的能力，烙印在我們的腦中，是個非常獨特的技巧。

Stop thinking about people's words so much because the one thing about words, unfortunately, is people could lie; they can say whatever they want.

不要再這麼在意人們的言語，因為很不幸地，言語的一個現實面是，人們會說謊，他們可以想說什麼就說什麼。

But body language, man, it doesn't lie.

但肢體語言是不會說謊的。

This is a whole art you can learn.

這是一門你可以學習的藝術。

I find it fascinating that, you know, there's quotes and things that say 80% of our communication is non-verbal, etc., etc.

我覺得很有趣的一件事是，有很多引言都說，我們的溝通有八成都是非口語的，等等。

Body language is so interesting to me because, again, I think that's one of the things that⏤it's just impossibly hard to fake.

肢體語言對我來說很有趣，因為我重申，我認為它是一個要假裝會無比艱困的一件事。

I was reading, you know, a couple of books on⏤

我在讀幾本書及，是關於——

there was a phase when I was, I don't know, 20, probably just after being rejected all the time,

我大概 20 歲左右、可能總是被拒絕後不久的一段時期，

when I was maybe 22, where I started reading books from pickup artists, and they would obsess on the topic of body language.

或許是 22 歲時，我開始閱讀搭訕藝術家的書籍，然後他們會著迷於肢體語言這個主題。

And one of the things they'd say is⏤and I... I try... I was explaining this to my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago⏤that when... when a man has lower confidence, when he's desperate,

他們會說的一件事是（我幾週前剛好跟我女友解釋這件事），當一個男人信心低下、迫切時，

he does this thing called "pecking" in a nightclub, where he'll like, lean in and, like, shout in your ear.

他會在夜店裡做出「啄食」的動作，會往前傾然後幾乎朝你耳朵喊叫。

And when he's higher confidence, he kind of leans out and he'll... he'll wait for you to lean in.

而當他自信心較高時，他會往後退，並等待你向前傾。

Small things like that, subtleties like that... that, intuitively, we... we're reading and understanding and communicating and etc.

像那樣的小事、小細節都是我們直覺上會閱讀、理解並溝通的。

But someone that doesn't have the confidence probably isn't even aware that they do.

但是沒有信心的人，大概根本沒意識到自己會這麼做。

So, when I reflect on my rejection phase, I think, "Gosh, my body language must've been exuding desperation and low status and low value, low self-esteem."

所以說，當我反思我受拒時期，我會想：「天啊，我的肢體語言一定釋出了絕對、地位低、價值低、自尊低的氣息。」

What's your thoughts on body language and...?

對於肢體語言，你的想法是⋯⋯？

Well, in my last book "Human Nature", I wrote a whole chapter on it.

嗯，我在上一本書《人性法則》中，寫了一整章關於它的內容。

You quoted the figure 95%, but who knows what it really is?

你引用了 95% 這個數字，但誰知道確切數字是什麼？

The thing it is that we evolved for hundreds of thousands of years before language existed, right?

事實是，語言存在之前，我們已經演化數十萬年了，對吧？

And our earliest ancestors depended on the group for their survival and getting along.

而我們最早期的祖先必須依靠團體以生存並相處。

And their powers came from observing other people and their body language⏤you could read it.

而他們的力量來自觀察其他人以及他們的肢體語言，這是你可以讀出來的。

So, it's a skill that's wired into us, wired into our brains; it's a very unique skill that we humans have.

所以說，那是我們與身俱來的能力，烙印在我們的腦中，它是個人類擁有的極獨特技巧。

It's just that you don't learn that when you're a child, when you're two years old; you have it 'cause your life depends on it.

只不過當你還是孩子、年僅兩歲時，不會學習它，你會擁有它是因為那關係到你的性命。

You... you have to see what⏤if your mother is... is loving you or... or your father is kind to you, because if not, you know, you could be abandoned; your life depends on it.

你必須看到你的母親是否愛你、父親是否對你慈祥，因為如果答案是否定的，你可能會被拋棄，也就是說，這關係到你的性命。

You're great at reading that, and children have... are incredibly adept at picking up body language.

你很能夠閱讀它，而孩童對於理解肢體語言極度擅長。

So, if someone is fake, if someone's an impostor, they hate being around children because children see through you, you know, like, you know, like radar, right?

所以如果有個虛假、假冒的人，他們會很討厭在孩童附近，因為小孩可以像雷達一樣看透一切，對吧？

Because they're so attuned to it.

因為他們如此地適應它。

You had that skill when you were very young, but you lost it because you became so oriented with words and you became so self-absorbed that you're not paying attention.

你在很年幼時用有過那個技巧，但因為太在意文字而失去了它，並且因為太過在意自己而並未留意。

But it's extremely important, right?

那這是很重要的，對吧？

So, the whole body is involved in it.

整個身體都有所關聯。

So, you've got to first stop thinking about people's words so much because the one thing about words, unfortunately, is people could lie.

所以說，你首先應該不要再這麼在意人們的言語，因為很不幸地，言語的一個現實面是，人們會說謊。

They can say whatever they want; they can say, "I love your screenplay. That was fantastic."

他們可以想說什麼就說什麼，他們可以說：「我很愛你的劇本，棒極了。」

"You were great in that movie; I thought you were great," etc., etc.

「你在電影中的表現超好，我覺得你很優秀」等等。

They can say anything to please, to flatter, to cajole you.

他們可以說出任何取悅、奉承、哄騙你的言語。

But body language, man, it doesn't lie, right?

但是肢體語言是不會說謊的，對吧？

So, I talk in that book about the eyes and the fake smile.

所以說，我在書中提到了眼神和假笑。

The fake smile is something you see every single day, but you're not paying attention; it's like...

假笑是你每天都會看到，但是沒注意到的事，就像這樣⋯⋯。

It's kind of tight, right?

有點緊繃，對吧？

It's like, yeah.

就像這樣，對。

Right?

沒錯嗎？

But a real smile?

但真實的微笑呢？

Your... the whole face gets animated, and there's a little crinkly thing here as your face... as you... as it lights up and your eyes light up.

你整張臉都會變得生動、這裡會出現小皺紋，你的臉和雙眼都會亮起來。

It's... it's hard to even put into words, but it's there; you can see it.

要用文字來說明其實很困難，但它是存在的，你可以看到它。

It's real, it's not faked.

它是真實、非偽造的。

Knowing the difference between a fake and a real smile is really important in seduction, in business, or whatever, to know if someone is like, "Yeah, I like that idea."

了解假笑和真笑之間的區別在誘惑、商業或其它方面真的很重要，知道某人是否只是最上說著：「嗯，我喜歡那個主意。」

No, they don't really, they're saying that to please you; they actually hate your idea.

但他們根本不喜歡，只是為了讓你開心，事實上則非常討厭你的想法。

You master that language, you can start deciphering all this bullshit people are giving you.

只要掌握那個語言，你就可以開始解讀身邊所有人的胡話。

The face, you can disguise it a little bit; actors know that.

表情還可以稍微偽裝，演員們會知道這一點。

But you know what you can't fake?

但你知道不能作假的是什麼嗎？

It's your voice.

你的聲音。

If you're nervous, not even the finest actors in the world can fake that⏤your voice betrays so many things about you.

如果你感到緊張，即便是世上最優秀的演員都無法造假，你的聲音會揭露你很多的情緒。

It betrays your weakness, it betrays your lack of confidence, or it betrays the other quality, etc., right?

它會暴露你的缺點、自信心缺乏或是其它的特質，對吧？

So, pay, really, attention to the tone of people's voices, to how fast they talk.

所以要確實地留意他人說話的語調、講話速度有多快。

People who talk fast are very nervous.

語速快的人非常地緊張。

Someone who's talked⏤I know I'm probably talking a little too fast here, sorry.

一個講話——我知道我現在語速大概有點快，抱歉。

My mind races, so I... I do that; normally, I don't talk so fast.

我的大腦在快速運轉，我總會那樣，但我一般說話不會這麼快。

But, you know, you... you talk slowly, you have a certain tone, you have a certain intonation that kind of reveals confidence, OK?

但是如果你慢慢地說話，會有某個語氣、某種腔調，會釋出自信心，懂嗎？

Body language posture.

肢體語言姿態。

You were talking about pecking, right?

你剛剛講到了「啄食」動作，對吧？

When you go and look at a meeting of people in... in a business meeting, you'll see all the employees kind of leaning forward and nervous and you'll see the boss kind of leaning back, arms like this, you know?

當你觀察一場人多的會議時，在一場商務會議中，你會看到所有員工都往前傾並有點緊張，而老闆則是往後靠，雙手呈現這個樣子，你知道嗎？

I'm the powerful one, you come to me; I'm the leader.

我是有力的人、你得來找我，我是領導人。

I'm the... I'm the top dog or she⏤it's a woman⏤I don't need to be like this, I'm like this.

我是最上層的人，我不需要這樣，我可以這樣。

Body language reveals a lot about leadership qualities, etc., etc., etc.

肢體語言對於領導特質等等的資訊也會有很多線索。

You know, if you go⏤

你知道的，如果你去——

You're at a party and you come up to someone that you're meeting for the first time and they're talking to you, and you notice that their feet are angling away from you,

你人在一場派對，接近初次見面的某個人，而你發現對方在跟你講話時，雙腳朝著你之外的方向，

that means that they're not really interested, that they're looking for any moment to try and walk away and escape; they're not really into you.

那就表示他們不太感興趣，並試著想要找到任何可以逃離的機會，他們對你沒意思。

Whereas their feet are facing you, they're engaged, they want to talk to you, right?

但如果他們腳尖朝你，他們則是投入話題並想跟你說話，懂嗎？

This is a whole art you can learn and you could sit there and you could read it.

這是一門你可以學習的藝術，並坐在一旁觀察。

And I talk about⏤

我談到——

I give this story in "Laws of Human Nature" of a man named Milton Erickson, the founder of NLP and hypnotherapy, probably one of the most brilliant psychologists who ever lived.

我在《人性法則》這本書裡面提到彌爾頓·艾瑞克森這位男子的故事，他是自然語言處理和催眠療法的創始人，大概也是史上最傑出的心理學家之一。

When Milton Erickson was 19 years old or so, he had polio.

當彌爾頓·艾瑞克森 19 歲左右時，罹患了小兒麻痺。

He nearly died; his entire body was paralyzed.

他差點喪命、全身都癱瘓。

The only thing he could move, the only muscle he could move were his eyeballs.

他唯一能移動的肌肉是他的眼球。

Now, imagine that.

想像那個情境。

He was a young man with a very active mind; he can't talk, he can't do anything.

他是個思想活躍的年輕男子，但不能說話、什麼都做不了。

All he can do is move his eyeballs a little bit.

他能做的只有稍微移動眼球。

He was so bored⏤can you imagine how bored you'd be like that?

它無聊透頂——你能想像自己如果這樣會有多無聊嗎？

You can't read, you can't do anything.

不能閱讀、什麼都不能做。

People would come in to visit him; all he could do was look at them and study them.

人們會去探望他，而他只能看著他們並觀察他們。

He became the greatest reader of body language ever in the history of mankind.

他成了人類史上最傑出的肢體語言解讀專家。

People said it was⏤he was... almost had ESP.

人們說那是——說他幾乎是有超能力。

He could read everything about who they were just by looking⏤'cause he ended up recovering, he became a psychologist.

他可以透過觀看而讀懂那個人的一切，因為他最終康復並成了心理學家。

Because his life depended on developing this skill.

因為他的人生取決於這個技能的發展。

He was gonna just die from sheer boredom if he didn't learn how to read body language.

如過他沒學會讀懂肢體語言，可能會因為無聊致死。

He mastered that language much like somebody could master French.

他精通那種語言就像某人精通了法語一樣。

And it's an incredibly powerful language that I... I can't emphasize enough.

而我必須一再強調的是，這是一個極度有力的語言。

You know, we can go about learning the language of body language, and I'm sure that will help.

我們可以開始學習肢體語言的藝術，我相信那會有所幫助。

But it's such a complex...

但它是如此複雜的⋯⋯

Like, va⏤there's, like, a thousand things with my body language at all times.

就像我的肢體語言隨時都是出了無數種訊息。

Like, how I'm speaking, my eyeballs, my... where I'm looking, my posture, my arms, like, am I crossing my arms, am I crossing my legs; all of these things.

例如我的講話方式、我的眼球、我的⋯⋯我看哪裡、我的姿勢、我的雙臂如何、我是否交叉雙臂、是否交叉雙腿等等所有事情。

So, the... the challenge of mastering all of that feels a little bit overwhelming.

所以說，要精通那一切的挑戰感覺有點負荷不了。

Am I right in assuming the easiest⏤the easier challenge to master is, in fact, just, like, my sense of self?

所以要精通的最簡易挑戰是我對自我的意識，這樣的假設對嗎？

Very well put.

說得很好。

Because, you know, if you feel confident, if you feel secure, if you're not all inward and insecure and worried about yourself, it will naturally radiate through your gestures, yeah.

因為如果你感到有信心、安全、不會完全內向、缺乏安全感並擔心自己，它自然會從你的姿態中散發出來。

You don't have to sit there and pay attention to your fingers, your arm, your ears, your eyes; it's just there, it's natural.

你不需要坐在那裡並留意著自己的手指、雙臂、耳朵、眼睛，一切就會很自然地攤在那裡。

So, yeah, that is the solution.

所以這就是解決方案。

So, the two game... parts of the game, it's your own body language⏤be aware that people are judging you for that, right?

所以這場遊戲的兩個部分是：你的肢體語言，要知道人們會因為它而批判你，懂嗎？

And you can't, as you say, be monitoring everything or you'll drive yourself crazy and you'll look very weird, right?

而你不能隨時監控每一件事，否則你會把自己搞瘋並看起來古怪，對吧？

So, the best solution is to feel these certain things that are gonna radiate and to not give the fake smile.

所以最好的解答是感受到有些特質會發散出來，並不要假笑。

But when you're really happy, to just show it and show your emotion that way.

但是當你真的開心時，要直接地展現並表達情感。

And the other side, which is more... is, I think, really important, is learning other people's body language, and that can come from study.

另一個面向是我認為很重要的，要學習他人的肢體語言，而那可以透過研讀學會。

And it's much more a logical thing than... than constantly thinking about everything that you do.

而且那相較於不斷思考自己所做的每一件事，還更具有邏輯性。

If you love the "Diary of a CEO" brand and you watch this channel, please do me a huge favor, become part of the 15% of the viewers on this channel that have hit the subscribe button.

如果你喜歡 Diary of a CEO 這個品牌，也有在收看頻道，請幫我一個忙並成為 15% 已經點擊訂閱的頻道觀眾之一。

It helps us tremendously, and the bigger the channel gets, the bigger the guests.

那對我們會有極大幫助，而頻道越強大、來賓就會更大咖。