I met someone who had experienced a few episodes of schizophrenia.

我遇到過一個經歷過幾次精神分裂症發作的人。

They had felt that their sense of self,

他們已經感覺到他們的自我意識。

of what it feels like to be them,

的感覺是什麼。

changing somewhat.

有些變化。

The boundaries of their body began to feel a bit nebulous.

他們身體的邊界開始感到有些模糊不清。

Even their psychological self felt a bit porous at times.

甚至他們的心理上的自我感覺有時也有點漏洞。

They were experiencing what could be called an altered sense of self.

他們正經歷著可稱為自我意識的改變。

Over the years, I met many such brave and insightful people

多年來，我遇到了許多這樣勇敢和有見地的人

who shared what it's like to live with their altered selves.

他們分享了與改變後的自己一起生活的感受。

And by "altered," I mean "different,"

我所說的 "改變"，是指 "不同"。

not "deficient,"

不是 "不足"，

while acknowledging that coping with altered selves

同時承認，應對改變後的自我

can be a struggle at times.

有時可能是一場鬥爭。

So speaking with them,

所以和他們說話。

and with theologians, philosophers, neuroscientists,

並與神學家、哲學家、神經科學家合作。

I came to understand that this self that each one of us takes oneself to be

我開始明白，我們每個人都認為自己是的這個自己

is not as real as it seems.

並不像它看起來那樣真實。

The self is a slippery subject.

自我是一個滑稽的話題。

We all intuitively know what it means.

我們都直覺地知道這意味著什麼。

It’s there when we wake up.

當我們醒來的時候，它就在那裡。

It disappears when we fall asleep.

當我們睡著時，它就消失了。

It reappears in our dreams.

它在我們的夢中重新出現。

It's what makes us who we are.

是它使我們成為我們自己。

It seems solid, unchanging, permanent.

它似乎是堅實的，不變的，永久的。

And yet, we can examine aspects of the self

然而，我們可以審查自我的各個方面

that seem real to us,

在我們看來是真實的。

and ask, “Just how real are they?”

並問："他們到底有多真實？"

Take, for instance, the question "Who am I?"

以 "我是誰 "的問題為例。

The most likely answer you will get or give to such a question

對於這樣的問題，你最有可能得到或給出的答案是

will be in the form of a story.

將以故事的形式出現。

We tell others -- and indeed, ourselves -- stories about who we are.

我們告訴別人--實際上也是告訴自己--關於我們是誰的故事。

We take our stories to be sacrosanct.

我們認為我們的故事是神聖不可侵犯的。

We are our stories.

我們就是我們的故事。

But a condition that most of us, sadly, will be familiar with --

但是，我們大多數人，可悲的是，都會熟悉一種情況 --

Alzheimer's disease --

阿爾茨海默病 --

tells us something quite different.

告訴我們一些完全不同的東西。

Alzheimer's begins by affecting short-term memory.

阿爾茨海默病開始時影響短期記憶。

Think about what that does to someone's story.

想想這對某人的故事有什麼影響。

In order for our stories to form, to grow,

為了讓我們的故事得以形成，得以成長。

something that just happens to us has to first enter short-term memory,

發生在我們身上的事情必須首先進入短期記憶。

and then, get incorporated

然後，被納入

into what's called long-term episodic memory.

進入所謂的長期表象記憶。

It has to become an episode in our narrative.

它必須成為我們敘述中的一個插曲。

But what if the experience doesn't even enter short-term memory?

但如果這種經歷甚至沒有進入短期記憶呢？

That's exactly what Alzheimer's does.

這正是阿爾茨海默症的表現。

In the beginning,

在開始的時候。

Alzheimer's impairs the formation of short-term memory.

阿爾茨海默氏症損害了短期記憶的形成。

It impairs the growth of the narrative.

它損害了敘事的發展。

It's as if our stories begin stalling upon the onset of the disease.

彷彿我們的故事在疾病發生時就開始停滯不前。

Eventually, Alzheimer's eats away at all the long-term memories.

最終，阿爾茨海默氏症侵蝕了所有的長期記憶。

So if you were to meet someone with mid-stage Alzheimer's,

是以，如果你遇到一個患有中期阿爾茨海默病的人。

they will likely be able to tell you stories about who they are.

他們很可能會告訴你關於他們是誰的故事。

But if you know their real stories,

但如果你知道他們的真實故事。

you'll be able to tell that they sometimes scramble up their narrative,

你就能看出他們有時會竄改他們的敘述。

that they sometimes mix up the sequence of episodes from their lives.

他們有時會把他們生活中的情節順序搞混。

It's as if they are recalling their own stories

彷彿他們正在回憶自己的故事

in ways that are not quite accurate.

以不太準確的方式。

It's important, at this stage,

這很重要，在這個階段。

to realize that there is still a person experiencing that scrambled narrative.

意識到仍然有一個人在經歷那段混亂的敘述。

Sadly, Alzheimer's goes on to destroy one's narrative,

可悲的是，阿爾茨海默氏症會繼續摧毀一個人的敘述。

and so much more.

以及更多。

And towards the end,

而到了最後。

it's unclear whether there is still someone experiencing something,

不清楚是否還有人在經歷什麼。

because the person cannot communicate verbally anymore.

因為這個人不能再用語言交流。

And yet,

然而。

Alzheimer's tells us that these stories that we take ourselves to be,

阿爾茨海默氏症告訴我們，我們把自己當做的這些故事。

what philosophers call the “narrative self,”

哲學家所說的 "敘事性自我"。

these are spun by the brain and body.

這些是由大腦和身體旋轉的。

They are constructions.

它們都是結構性的。

Sometimes, the constructions are disrupted, even destroyed.

有時，這些建築被破壞，甚至被摧毀。

And while that is horrific for the person experiencing it,

雖然這對經歷過的人來說是很可怕的。

and for their caregivers,

併為他們的照顧者服務。

it is nonetheless a window

不過，這也是一個窗口

onto the constructed nature of our narrative self.

在我們的敘述性自我的構建性質上。

And when the construction goes wrong,

而當施工出錯時。

we perceive our own stories in ways that are not quite real.

我們以不太真實的方式感知我們自己的故事。

From the narrative self, let's talk about our body.

從敘事的自我出發，我們來談談我們的身體。

Let's take a very basic aspect of our bodily self.

讓我們來看看我們身體自我的一個非常基本的方面。

This feeling we all have,

這種感覺我們都有。

that we are owners of our body and body parts,

我們是我們的身體和身體部位的主人。

that our bodies and body parts belong to us.

我們的身體和身體部位屬於我們。

It seems such a strange thing to think that it could even be otherwise.

想到這一點，似乎是一件很奇怪的事情，甚至可以說是其他方面。

If I were to ask you, "Does your hand belong to you?"

如果我問你，"你的手是屬於你的嗎？"

you're going to say, "Of course it does. What a foolish question."

你會說，"當然是這樣。真是個愚蠢的問題。"

But not everyone would agree.

但並非所有人都會同意。

Early on in my research,

在我研究的早期。

a neuropsychologist alerted me to a condition called xenomelia,

一位神經心理學家提醒我注意一種叫做異體的疾病。

or foreign limb syndrome.

或外來肢體綜合症。

You may have heard of something called phantom limb syndrome,

你可能聽說過一種叫做幻肢綜合徵的東西。

in which people who have had an amputation

其中，被截肢的人

feel the presence of that limb, sometimes.

感受到那個肢體的存在，有時。

Xenomelia is somewhat of an opposite condition,

Xenomelia有點像一個相反的情況。

where people feel like some part of their body --

人們覺得自己身體的某些部分 --

usually the extremities, their hands or legs --

通常是四肢，他們的手或腿 --

don't belong to them.

不屬於他們的。

So this neuropsychologist talked of phantom limb syndrome

所以這位神經心理學家談到了幻肢症候群

as animation without incarnation.

作為沒有化身的動畫。

So the limb is gone, it's not incarnate anymore,

所以肢體已經消失了，它不再是化身了。

but it's animated in your mind.

但它在你的頭腦中是生動的。

And he talked of xenomelia as incarnation without animation.

他還談到了異質性，即沒有動畫的化身。

So the limb is present, healthy even, incarnate,

所以肢體是存在的，甚至是健康的，化身的。

and yet, in your own mind, it feels like it doesn't belong to you.

然而，在你自己心中，感覺它不屬於你。

So in xenomelia,

所以在異國他鄉。

the brain and bodily processes

大腦和身體過程

that give rise to our sense of ownership of our body parts,

引起我們對自己身體部位的所有權意識。

they're misfiring, so to speak,

可以這麼說，他們是誤傷。

and the consequences can be serious.

而且後果可能很嚴重。

People with xenomelia will sometimes take extreme measures

患有異物癖的人有時會採取極端措施

to get rid of, to amputate their foreign-seeming body parts.

以擺脫，截斷他們的外國貌似的身體部分。

From the perspective of the self, though,

不過，從自我的角度來看。

xenomelia is telling us something very profound.

xenomelia正在告訴我們一些非常深刻的東西。

It's telling us that something as basic

它在告訴我們，一些基本的

as the sense of ownership of our own body parts

如同我們對自己身體部位的所有權意識一樣

is a construction.

是一種構造。

And sometimes, the construction goes wrong,

而有時，施工會出錯。

and we perceive our own bodies in ways that are not quite real.

而且我們以不太真實的方式感知我們自己的身體。

Let's take another aspect of our bodily self.

讓我們來看看我們身體自我的另一個方面。

It's called the sense of agency.

這就是所謂的代理感。

So when I do something like pick up a cup,

是以，當我做一些事情，比如拿起一個杯子。

I have this implicit feeling that I am the agent of that action,

我有這種隱約的感覺，我是這個行動的代理人。

that I have willed that action into existence.

我已將這一行動帶到了現實中。

That feeling is the sense of agency.

這種感覺就是代理感。

But someone with schizophrenia may not have that feeling, always.

但患有精神分裂症的人可能沒有這種感覺，總是如此。

Someone with schizophrenia

患有精神分裂症的人

might do something and not feel like they are the agent of that action.

可能會做一些事情，但不覺得自己是該行動的代理人。

So schizophrenia tells us

所以精神分裂症告訴我們

that it is possible to be someone who does something

有可能成為一個做某事的人

but doesn't have an accompanying sense of agency.

但沒有附帶的代理感。

So just like the narrative self and the sense of ownership of body parts,

所以就像敘事性的自我和身體部位的所有權意識。

the sense of agency is also a construction,

機構的感覺也是一種建構。

and it, too, can fail.

而它也可能失敗。

So you can see where this is going.

所以你可以看到這是怎麼回事。

Let me take one more example to drive home this point.

讓我再舉一個例子來說明這一點。

Let's talk of what it feels to be a body here and now.

讓我們談談在這裡和現在作為一個身體的感覺。

Not the feeling of being a story,

而不是作為一個故事的感覺。

but the feeling of being a body in the present moment.

但在當下，作為一個身體的感覺。

Psychologists estimate

心理學家估計

that about five percent of the general population

約有5%的普通人

will, at some point in their lives, have an out-of-body experience.

在他們生命中的某個時刻，會有一次靈魂出竅的經歷。

Let's assume that all of us right now are having an in-body experience.

讓我們假設我們所有人現在都有身體內的體驗。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But what that means is having this feeling of being in a body,

但這意味著有這種在身體裡的感覺。

being anchored to a body,

被錨定在一個身體上。

occupying a certain volume of space

佔空間

and looking at the world from behind our eyes.

並從我們的眼睛後面看世界。

But if you are having an out-of-body experience,

但如果你有身外之物的體驗。

you could possibly be feeling that you're up near the ceiling,

你可能會覺得你在天花板附近。

looking down at your own body sitting in the chair below.

俯視自己的身體，坐在下面的椅子上。

People do report such experiences,

人們確實報告了這種經歷。

and mild versions of this have been replicated in labs.

和溫和的版本已經在實驗室中得到了複製。

But if you think, like I do,

但是，如果你像我這樣想的話。

that out-of-body experiences are the outcome of brain processes

靈魂出竅的體驗是大腦過程的結果

that are misfiring,

誤入歧途。

then it stands to reason that the experience of being in-body,

那麼就有理由認為，身在其中的體驗。

of being embodied,

的體現。

is itself a construction,

本身就是一種構造。

and that, too, can come apart.

而這也是可以分開的。

So what are these experiences of altered selves telling us?

那麼，這些改變自我的經歷告訴我們什麼呢？

They're telling us

他們在告訴我們

that just about everything we take to be real

所有我們認為是真實的東西

about ourselves --

關於我們自己 --

"real" in the sense that we think we are always experiencing

"真實 "的意義是，我們認為我們總是在經歷著

undeniable truths about our bodies, our stories --

關於我們身體的不可否認的真相，我們的故事 --

well, that's just not the case.

嗯，情況並非如此。

So when theologians and philosophers tell us that the self is an illusion,

是以，當神學家和哲學家告訴我們，自我是一種幻覺。