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  • About a decade ago,

    大約十年前。

  • I met someone who had experienced a few episodes of schizophrenia.

    我遇到過一個經歷過幾次精神分裂症發作的人。

  • They had felt that their sense of self,

    他們已經感覺到他們的自我意識。

  • of what it feels like to be them,

    的感覺是什麼。

  • changing somewhat.

    有些變化。

  • The boundaries of their body began to feel a bit nebulous.

    他們身體的邊界開始感到有些模糊不清。

  • Even their psychological self felt a bit porous at times.

    甚至他們的心理上的自我感覺有時也有點漏洞。

  • They were experiencing what could be called an altered sense of self.

    他們正經歷著可稱為自我意識的改變。

  • Over the years, I met many such brave and insightful people

    多年來,我遇到了許多這樣勇敢和有見地的人

  • who shared what it's like to live with their altered selves.

    他們分享了與改變後的自己一起生活的感受。

  • And by "altered," I mean "different,"

    我所說的 "改變",是指 "不同"。

  • not "deficient,"

    不是 "不足",

  • while acknowledging that coping with altered selves

    同時承認,應對改變後的自我

  • can be a struggle at times.

    有時可能是一場鬥爭。

  • So speaking with them,

    所以和他們說話。

  • and with theologians, philosophers, neuroscientists,

    並與神學家、哲學家、神經科學家合作。

  • I came to understand that this self that each one of us takes oneself to be

    我開始明白,我們每個人都認為自己是的這個自己

  • is not as real as it seems.

    並不像它看起來那樣真實。

  • The self is a slippery subject.

    自我是一個滑稽的話題。

  • We all intuitively know what it means.

    我們都直覺地知道這意味著什麼。

  • It’s there when we wake up.

    當我們醒來的時候,它就在那裡。

  • It disappears when we fall asleep.

    當我們睡著時,它就消失了。

  • It reappears in our dreams.

    它在我們的夢中重新出現。

  • It's what makes us who we are.

    是它使我們成為我們自己。

  • It seems solid, unchanging, permanent.

    它似乎是堅實的,不變的,永久的。

  • And yet, we can examine aspects of the self

    然而,我們可以審查自我的各個方面

  • that seem real to us,

    在我們看來是真實的。

  • and ask, “Just how real are they?”

    並問:"他們到底有多真實?"

  • Take, for instance, the question "Who am I?"

    以 "我是誰 "的問題為例。

  • The most likely answer you will get or give to such a question

    對於這樣的問題,你最有可能得到或給出的答案是

  • will be in the form of a story.

    將以故事的形式出現。

  • We tell others -- and indeed, ourselves -- stories about who we are.

    我們告訴別人--實際上也是告訴自己--關於我們是誰的故事。

  • We take our stories to be sacrosanct.

    我們認為我們的故事是神聖不可侵犯的。

  • We are our stories.

    我們就是我們的故事。

  • But a condition that most of us, sadly, will be familiar with --

    但是,我們大多數人,可悲的是,都會熟悉一種情況 --

  • Alzheimer's disease --

    阿爾茨海默病 --

  • tells us something quite different.

    告訴我們一些完全不同的東西。

  • Alzheimer's begins by affecting short-term memory.

    阿爾茨海默病開始時影響短期記憶。

  • Think about what that does to someone's story.

    想想這對某人的故事有什麼影響。

  • In order for our stories to form, to grow,

    為了讓我們的故事得以形成,得以成長。

  • something that just happens to us has to first enter short-term memory,

    發生在我們身上的事情必須首先進入短期記憶。

  • and then, get incorporated

    然後,被納入

  • into what's called long-term episodic memory.

    進入所謂的長期表象記憶。

  • It has to become an episode in our narrative.

    它必須成為我們敘述中的一個插曲。

  • But what if the experience doesn't even enter short-term memory?

    但如果這種經歷甚至沒有進入短期記憶呢?

  • That's exactly what Alzheimer's does.

    這正是阿爾茨海默症的表現。

  • In the beginning,

    在開始的時候。

  • Alzheimer's impairs the formation of short-term memory.

    阿爾茨海默氏症損害了短期記憶的形成。

  • It impairs the growth of the narrative.

    它損害了敘事的發展。

  • It's as if our stories begin stalling upon the onset of the disease.

    彷彿我們的故事在疾病發生時就開始停滯不前。

  • Eventually, Alzheimer's eats away at all the long-term memories.

    最終,阿爾茨海默氏症侵蝕了所有的長期記憶。

  • So if you were to meet someone with mid-stage Alzheimer's,

    是以,如果你遇到一個患有中期阿爾茨海默病的人。

  • they will likely be able to tell you stories about who they are.

    他們很可能會告訴你關於他們是誰的故事。

  • But if you know their real stories,

    但如果你知道他們的真實故事。

  • you'll be able to tell that they sometimes scramble up their narrative,

    你就能看出他們有時會竄改他們的敘述。

  • that they sometimes mix up the sequence of episodes from their lives.

    他們有時會把他們生活中的情節順序搞混。

  • It's as if they are recalling their own stories

    彷彿他們正在回憶自己的故事

  • in ways that are not quite accurate.

    以不太準確的方式。

  • It's important, at this stage,

    這很重要,在這個階段。

  • to realize that there is still a person experiencing that scrambled narrative.

    意識到仍然有一個人在經歷那段混亂的敘述。

  • Sadly, Alzheimer's goes on to destroy one's narrative,

    可悲的是,阿爾茨海默氏症會繼續摧毀一個人的敘述。

  • and so much more.

    以及更多。

  • And towards the end,

    而到了最後。

  • it's unclear whether there is still someone experiencing something,

    不清楚是否還有人在經歷什麼。

  • because the person cannot communicate verbally anymore.

    因為這個人不能再用語言交流。

  • And yet,

    然而。

  • Alzheimer's tells us that these stories that we take ourselves to be,

    阿爾茨海默氏症告訴我們,我們把自己當做的這些故事。

  • what philosophers call thenarrative self,”

    哲學家所說的 "敘事性自我"。

  • these are spun by the brain and body.

    這些是由大腦和身體旋轉的。

  • They are constructions.

    它們都是結構性的。

  • Sometimes, the constructions are disrupted, even destroyed.

    有時,這些建築被破壞,甚至被摧毀。

  • And while that is horrific for the person experiencing it,

    雖然這對經歷過的人來說是很可怕的。

  • and for their caregivers,

    併為他們的照顧者服務。

  • it is nonetheless a window

    不過,這也是一個窗口

  • onto the constructed nature of our narrative self.

    在我們的敘述性自我的構建性質上。

  • And when the construction goes wrong,

    而當施工出錯時。

  • we perceive our own stories in ways that are not quite real.

    我們以不太真實的方式感知我們自己的故事。

  • From the narrative self, let's talk about our body.

    從敘事的自我出發,我們來談談我們的身體。

  • Let's take a very basic aspect of our bodily self.

    讓我們來看看我們身體自我的一個非常基本的方面。

  • This feeling we all have,

    這種感覺我們都有。

  • that we are owners of our body and body parts,

    我們是我們的身體和身體部位的主人。

  • that our bodies and body parts belong to us.

    我們的身體和身體部位屬於我們。

  • It seems such a strange thing to think that it could even be otherwise.

    想到這一點,似乎是一件很奇怪的事情,甚至可以說是其他方面。

  • If I were to ask you, "Does your hand belong to you?"

    如果我問你,"你的手是屬於你的嗎?"

  • you're going to say, "Of course it does. What a foolish question."

    你會說,"當然是這樣。真是個愚蠢的問題。"

  • But not everyone would agree.

    但並非所有人都會同意。

  • Early on in my research,

    在我研究的早期。

  • a neuropsychologist alerted me to a condition called xenomelia,

    一位神經心理學家提醒我注意一種叫做異體的疾病。

  • or foreign limb syndrome.

    或外來肢體綜合症。

  • You may have heard of something called phantom limb syndrome,

    你可能聽說過一種叫做幻肢綜合徵的東西。

  • in which people who have had an amputation

    其中,被截肢的人

  • feel the presence of that limb, sometimes.

    感受到那個肢體的存在,有時。

  • Xenomelia is somewhat of an opposite condition,

    Xenomelia有點像一個相反的情況。

  • where people feel like some part of their body --

    人們覺得自己身體的某些部分 --

  • usually the extremities, their hands or legs --

    通常是四肢,他們的手或腿 --

  • don't belong to them.

    不屬於他們的。

  • So this neuropsychologist talked of phantom limb syndrome

    所以這位神經心理學家談到了幻肢症候群

  • as animation without incarnation.

    作為沒有化身的動畫。

  • So the limb is gone, it's not incarnate anymore,

    所以肢體已經消失了,它不再是化身了。

  • but it's animated in your mind.

    但它在你的頭腦中是生動的。

  • And he talked of xenomelia as incarnation without animation.

    他還談到了異質性,即沒有動畫的化身。

  • So the limb is present, healthy even, incarnate,

    所以肢體是存在的,甚至是健康的,化身的。

  • and yet, in your own mind, it feels like it doesn't belong to you.

    然而,在你自己心中,感覺它不屬於你。

  • So in xenomelia,

    所以在異國他鄉。

  • the brain and bodily processes

    大腦和身體過程

  • that give rise to our sense of ownership of our body parts,

    引起我們對自己身體部位的所有權意識。

  • they're misfiring, so to speak,

    可以這麼說,他們是誤傷。

  • and the consequences can be serious.

    而且後果可能很嚴重。

  • People with xenomelia will sometimes take extreme measures

    患有異物癖的人有時會採取極端措施

  • to get rid of, to amputate their foreign-seeming body parts.

    以擺脫,截斷他們的外國貌似的身體部分。

  • From the perspective of the self, though,

    不過,從自我的角度來看。

  • xenomelia is telling us something very profound.

    xenomelia正在告訴我們一些非常深刻的東西。

  • It's telling us that something as basic

    它在告訴我們,一些基本的

  • as the sense of ownership of our own body parts

    如同我們對自己身體部位的所有權意識一樣

  • is a construction.

    是一種構造。

  • And sometimes, the construction goes wrong,

    而有時,施工會出錯。

  • and we perceive our own bodies in ways that are not quite real.

    而且我們以不太真實的方式感知我們自己的身體。

  • Let's take another aspect of our bodily self.

    讓我們來看看我們身體自我的另一個方面。

  • It's called the sense of agency.

    這就是所謂的代理感。

  • So when I do something like pick up a cup,

    是以,當我做一些事情,比如拿起一個杯子。

  • I have this implicit feeling that I am the agent of that action,

    我有這種隱約的感覺,我是這個行動的代理人。

  • that I have willed that action into existence.

    我已將這一行動帶到了現實中。

  • That feeling is the sense of agency.

    這種感覺就是代理感。

  • But someone with schizophrenia may not have that feeling, always.

    但患有精神分裂症的人可能沒有這種感覺,總是如此。

  • Someone with schizophrenia

    患有精神分裂症的人

  • might do something and not feel like they are the agent of that action.

    可能會做一些事情,但不覺得自己是該行動的代理人。

  • So schizophrenia tells us

    所以精神分裂症告訴我們

  • that it is possible to be someone who does something

    有可能成為一個做某事的人

  • but doesn't have an accompanying sense of agency.

    但沒有附帶的代理感。

  • So just like the narrative self and the sense of ownership of body parts,

    所以就像敘事性的自我和身體部位的所有權意識。

  • the sense of agency is also a construction,

    機構的感覺也是一種建構。

  • and it, too, can fail.

    而它也可能失敗。

  • So you can see where this is going.

    所以你可以看到這是怎麼回事。

  • Let me take one more example to drive home this point.

    讓我再舉一個例子來說明這一點。

  • Let's talk of what it feels to be a body here and now.

    讓我們談談在這裡和現在作為一個身體的感覺。

  • Not the feeling of being a story,

    而不是作為一個故事的感覺。

  • but the feeling of being a body in the present moment.

    但在當下,作為一個身體的感覺。

  • Psychologists estimate

    心理學家估計

  • that about five percent of the general population

    約有5%的普通人

  • will, at some point in their lives, have an out-of-body experience.

    在他們生命中的某個時刻,會有一次靈魂出竅的經歷。

  • Let's assume that all of us right now are having an in-body experience.

    讓我們假設我們所有人現在都有身體內的體驗。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But what that means is having this feeling of being in a body,

    但這意味著有這種在身體裡的感覺。

  • being anchored to a body,

    被錨定在一個身體上。

  • occupying a certain volume of space

    佔空間

  • and looking at the world from behind our eyes.

    並從我們的眼睛後面看世界。

  • But if you are having an out-of-body experience,

    但如果你有身外之物的體驗。

  • you could possibly be feeling that you're up near the ceiling,

    你可能會覺得你在天花板附近。

  • looking down at your own body sitting in the chair below.

    俯視自己的身體,坐在下面的椅子上。

  • People do report such experiences,

    人們確實報告了這種經歷。

  • and mild versions of this have been replicated in labs.

    和溫和的版本已經在實驗室中得到了複製。

  • But if you think, like I do,

    但是,如果你像我這樣想的話。

  • that out-of-body experiences are the outcome of brain processes

    靈魂出竅的體驗是大腦過程的結果

  • that are misfiring,

    誤入歧途。

  • then it stands to reason that the experience of being in-body,

    那麼就有理由認為,身在其中的體驗。

  • of being embodied,

    的體現。

  • is itself a construction,

    本身就是一種構造。

  • and that, too, can come apart.

    而這也是可以分開的。

  • So what are these experiences of altered selves telling us?

    那麼,這些改變自我的經歷告訴我們什麼呢?

  • They're telling us

    他們在告訴我們

  • that just about everything we take to be real

    所有我們認為是真實的東西

  • about ourselves --

    關於我們自己 --

  • "real" in the sense that we think we are always experiencing

    "真實 "的意義是,我們認為我們總是在經歷著

  • undeniable truths about our bodies, our stories --

    關於我們身體的不可否認的真相,我們的故事 --

  • well, that's just not the case.

    嗯,情況並非如此。

  • So when theologians and philosophers tell us that the self is an illusion,

    是以,當神學家和哲學家告訴我們,自我是一種幻覺。