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  • trigger warning.

    觸發警告。

  • Our video and Jeanette mccurdy is book I'm glad my mom died discusses topics such as eating disorders, sexual assault, sexual harassment abuse and mentions of analyzing oneself.

    我們的視頻和Jeanette mccurdy是書《我很高興我媽媽死了》討論了飲食失調、性侵犯、性騷擾虐待和提到的分析自己等話題。

  • If these topics are triggering to you, please feel free to skip this video.

    如果這些話題對你有觸發作用,請隨意跳過這個視頻。

  • This video is based on the thoughts, feelings, words and experiences of Jeanette mccarty that were told in her book.

    這個視頻是根據珍妮特-麥卡蒂在她的書中講述的思想、感受、話語和經歷製作的。

  • I'm glad my mom died.

    我很高興我媽媽死了。

  • This video doesn't reflect the thoughts and opinions of site or the writer.

    本視頻不反映網站或作者的想法和意見。

  • If you've been on social media recently, you may have heard of Jeanette mccurdy is book I'm glad my mom died hearing that title.

    如果你最近在社交媒體上,你可能聽說過珍妮特-麥考迪是書,我很高興我媽媽聽到這個標題就死了。

  • Most everyone had a different reaction.

    大多數人都有不同的反應。

  • Some were shocked that she would say something like that.

    一些人對她會說出這樣的話感到震驚。

  • Never mind titled her book that some were intrigued to see what her mom could have done.

    不要緊,在她的書中,有些人很想看看她媽媽能做什麼。

  • That was so terrible.

    這真是太可怕了。

  • Spoiler alert.

    擾流板警告。

  • Jeanette's mom was very abusive and controlling so much so that Jeanette was only able to feel truly free after her passing a bit morbid.

    珍妮特的媽媽非常具有虐待性和控制性,以至於珍妮特只有在她去世後才能夠感到真正的自由,有點病態。

  • But if you're the child of a toxic parent, you may relate what made Jeanette and her mom's relationship so toxic and what could you look out for in your own relationships?

    但是,如果你是有毒父母的孩子,你可能會聯想到是什麼讓珍妮特和她媽媽的關係如此有毒,你在自己的關係中可以注意什麼?

  • Let's take a look at four ways Jeanette mccurdy and her mom's relationship was unhealthy.

    讓我們來看看珍妮特-麥考迪和她媽媽的關係不健康的四個方面。

  • Number one.

    第一。

  • No autonomy when your child, your parents are supposed to prepare you.

    沒有自主權,當你的孩子,你的父母應該為你準備。

  • So you're ready to leave the proverbial nest and have everything you need to be independent.

    是以,你已經準備好離開傳說中的巢穴,並擁有獨立所需的一切。

  • Unfortunately, this wasn't the case for Jeannette Her mom seemed much more interested in pulling Jeanette strings and distracting than teaching.

    不幸的是,珍妮特的情況並非如此。她的媽媽似乎更喜歡拉攏珍妮特,分散她的注意力,而不是教書。

  • In her book.

    在她的書中。

  • Mccurdy stated that her mother bathed her until she was 16 years old and possibly older, her mother invaded her privacy by conducting physical exams, similar to a physician or gynecologist, to humans development stages.

    Mccurdy說,她的母親給她洗澡,直到她16歲,可能還更大,她的母親通過進行身體檢查,類似於醫生或婦科醫生,對人類的發展階段進行檢查,侵犯了她的隱私。

  • According to erick Erickson, a psychology student of Sigmund Freud.

    根據西格蒙德-弗洛伊德的心理學學生埃裡克-埃裡克森的說法。

  • The adolescent phase of development occurs between the ages of 12 and 18.

    青春期的發展階段是在12至18歲之間。

  • This is the phase where we begin finding ourselves our independence and making our own decisions.

    這是我們開始找到自己的獨立性並做出自己決定的階段。

  • In theory, Jeanette was in the age group of an individual who should be able to care for themselves on their own say when they need medical attention and state their own thoughts and opinions.

    從理論上講,珍妮特處於一個人的年齡段,應該能夠自己照顧自己,當他們需要醫療照顧時,可以說自己的想法和意見。

  • But because Jeanette's mom never gave her that breathing room, Jeanette never develop those skills being in the adolescent stage or later stages and not being allowed to be independent can be a sign of an unhealthy apparent relationship.

    但是,由於珍妮特的媽媽從來沒有給她這個喘息的空間,珍妮特從來沒有發展這些技能是在青春期階段或後期階段,不允許獨立可能是一個不健康的明顯關係的標誌。

  • Just like Jeanette and her mom's number two action equals love whenever you're meeting new people.

    就像珍妮特和她媽媽的二號行動一樣,只要你遇到新的人,就等於愛。

  • One of the things we hear often is just be yourself.

    我們經常聽到的一件事是做自己。

  • They'll love you.

    他們會喜歡你的。

  • Why?

    為什麼?

  • Because people are meant to love you for you, not for the things you do, Jeanette's mom didn't subscribe to this way of thinking.

    因為人們是為了你而愛你,而不是為了你所做的事情,珍妮特的媽媽並不認同這種思維方式。

  • Mccurdy begin her book with a story about her, her mom and her siblings watching family movies, not home movies of birthday parties or weddings, no home movies of when Jeanette's mom had cancer.

    Mccurdy在書的開頭講述了她、她媽媽和她的兄弟姐妹看家庭電影的故事,不是生日聚會或婚禮的家庭電影,也不是Jeanette的媽媽患癌症時的家庭電影。

  • Mom would narrate everyone's reactions and coping mechanisms and she would treat them based on that.

    媽媽會講述每個人的反應和應對機制,她會根據這些來對待他們。

  • For example, in the video, one of Janet's brothers kept leaving the room to collect himself.

    例如,在視頻中,珍妮特的一個兄弟一直離開房間去收集自己。

  • Mother praised him as if him being distraught.

    母親表揚了他,就像他被打亂了一樣。

  • His mother's diagnosis made him a better person or child.

    他母親的診斷使他成為更好的人或孩子。

  • This was very different from Jeanette.

    這與珍妮特非常不同。

  • She was scream singing jingle bells.

    她在尖叫,唱著叮叮噹噹的聲音。

  • Mother chastised Jeanette for this in present day, saying how stupid she must be for not being able to read the room and seeing no one as Abby, Jeanette was two years old in the video.

    母親為此在現在責備珍妮特,說她一定很愚蠢,因為她無法看清房間,也看不到任何人,因為艾比,珍妮特在視頻中是兩歲的孩子。

  • But after hearing these comments at eight, Jeanette internalized them for life, Jeanette's mother equated action with love.

    但在八歲時聽到這些評論後,珍妮特將其內化為生命,珍妮特的母親將行動與愛等同起來。

  • If you do for me, listen to me, don't question me, I love you.

    如果你為我做,聽我說,不要質疑我,我愛你。

  • This thought process is consistent with individuals diagnosed with narcissistic and or borderline personality disorders.

    這種思維過程與被診斷為自戀型和或邊緣型人格障礙的人一致。

  • If a loved one isn't doing enough or the right thing, the diagnosed individual may react by using this harshness as a coping mechanism to create distance and protect themselves from being hurt.

    如果所愛的人做得不夠好或做得不對,被診斷的人可能會做出反應,用這種嚴厲的態度作為應對機制來創造距離,保護自己不受傷害。

  • Jeanette's mom used this to push away feelings that her daughter could have been happy that she was sick, which absolutely wasn't true.

    珍妮特的媽媽用這個來推開她女兒可能因為生病而高興的感覺,這絕對不是真的。

  • However, it also planted the seed in Genet's mind that she's not intelligent and that she needs mom's approval, thinking that she needs to do things for approval and love is another result of the unhealthy relationship between Jeanette and her mother number three unhealthy coping mechanisms when something not so fantastic happens, coping mechanisms help us to either work through it or mask it any Naruto fans here remember when assume a died in battle and chicha maru just buried it and kept busy so he didn't have to think about it and I know, I know I didn't want to bring it up either, but this is an example of an unhealthy coping mechanism.

    然而,這也在吉奈特的頭腦中埋下了種子,她不聰明,她需要媽媽的認可,認為她需要做的事情是為了得到認可和愛,這是吉奈特和她母親之間不健康關係的另一個結果,第三種不健康的應對機制,當不那麼美妙的事情發生時。應對機制幫助我們克服它或掩蓋它,這裡的任何火影迷都記得當假設一個人在戰鬥中死亡時,千葉丸只是把它埋起來,繼續忙碌,所以他不必去想它,我知道,我知道我也不想提起它,但這是一個不健康的應對機制的例子。

  • Teaching positive coping strategies is a part of the caregiver role and part of that helping you leave the nest thing we mentioned earlier from the stories Jeanette tells us it seems like Jeanette's mom was more interested in teaching how to keep up looks than healthy coping strategies.

    教導積極的應對策略是照顧者角色的一部分,也是我們之前提到的幫助你離開巢穴的一部分,從珍妮特告訴我們的故事來看,珍妮特的媽媽似乎對教導如何保持容貌比健康的應對策略更感興趣。

  • In her book, Mccurdy was very open about her mother introducing her to food, wrist.

    在她的書中,麥考迪非常坦誠地講述了她的母親向她介紹食物,手腕。

  • When she was able to follow the diet, mom laid down for her, Jeanette felt like she was in control of herself, her looks and her life overall as she got older, became more famous and had more opportunities, Jeanette noticed that she was in more situations that included food.

    當她能夠遵循媽媽為她規定的飲食習慣時,珍妮特覺得她能夠控制自己,她的外表和她的生活,隨著她年齡的增長,變得更加出名,有更多的機會,珍妮特注意到她在更多的情況下,包括食物。

  • It was stressful for Jeanette to not follow mom's orders.

    對珍妮特來說,不聽從媽媽的命令是有壓力的。

  • But it was also stressful when people noticed her not eating.

    但是,當人們注意到她不吃飯時,這也是一種壓力。

  • Mccurdy explains that this is when she began purging, this became a coping mechanism, a way of holding on to control, a way of making everything okay.

    麥考迪解釋說,這就是她開始清除的時候,這成為一種應對機制,一種堅持控制的方式,一種使一切正常的方式。

  • Instead of working through feelings, thoughts and situations as time went on, Jeanette developed her unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking and like shika maru burying her opinions.

    隨著時間的推移,珍妮特沒有通過感情、思想和情況來解決,而是發展了她不健康的應對機制,如喝酒和像shika maru一樣掩蓋她的意見。

  • These negative coping mechanisms are one more way Jeanette and her mom's relationship wasn't a healthy one.

    這些消極的應對機制是珍妮特和她媽媽的關係不健康的另一種方式。

  • Number four brainwashing.

    四號洗腦。

  • Did you know, brainwashing is actually real?

    你知道嗎,洗腦其實是真的。

  • No, we're not talking about those little pen thingies from Men in Black in this book traumatic narcissism.

    不,我們不是在談論《黑衣人》中的那些小筆狀物,而是在談論這本創傷性的自戀。

  • Daniel shaw defines traumatic narcissism as a form of trauma triggered by being denied a right to individuality.

    丹尼爾-肖將創傷性自戀定義為一種因被剝奪了個性權利而引發的創傷形式。

  • And boundaries are broken.

    而且界限被打破。

  • If successful, the narcissist can brainwash their target to become an extension of them and always seek their approval.

    如果成功的話,自戀者可以給他們的目標洗腦,使其成為他們的延伸,並總是尋求他們的認可。

  • Kind of like in South Park when carmen fused with the trapper keeper, Jeanette's mom seemed to have a similar narcissistic brainwashing.

    有點像《南方公園》中卡門與捕獵者飼養員融合時的情形,珍妮特的媽媽似乎也有類似的自戀洗腦。

  • Hold on her daughter.

    抓緊她的女兒。

  • There were multiple times in the book where Jeanette recalled herself thinking, I'm nothing without mom, even though Jeanette was talented, intelligent, funny, and successful, all on her own.

    在書中,珍妮特多次回憶起自己的想法,沒有媽媽我什麼都不是,儘管珍妮特很有才華,很聰明,很有趣,很成功,都是靠自己。

  • It was never enough without mom's approval.

    沒有媽媽的同意,這永遠是不夠的。

  • This lack of self worth even bled over into Jeanette's relationships with her employers when working with directors, Jeanette would stifle any concerns, like saying a line that made her uncomfortable and do it anyway, in hopes of gaining their approval to boost her self worth.

    這種自我價值的缺失甚至滲透到珍妮特與僱主的關係中,當與導演合作時,珍妮特會扼殺任何擔憂,比如說說一句讓她不舒服的臺詞,但還是要做,希望獲得他們的認可,以提高她的自我價值。

  • In any healthy relationship.

    在任何健康的關係中。

  • You should be building that person up and giving healthy constructive criticism when needed.

    你應該把這個人培養起來,並在需要時給予健康的建設性責備。

  • And this is just another way Jeanette's relationship with her mom wasn't a healthy one.

    而這只是珍妮特與她媽媽關係不健康的另一種方式。

  • These are just some of the reasons why Jeanette and her mom didn't have a healthy parent child relationship.

    這些只是珍妮特和她媽媽沒有健康的父母子女關係的一些原因。

  • Are there signs of a toxic relationship.

    是否存在有毒關係的跡象。

  • You've seen that we didn't mention drop a book emoji in the comments and let us know if you want to know more about the relationship, pick up the book.

    你已經看到了,我們沒有提到在評論中放下一本書的表情符號,讓我們知道如果你想知道更多的關係,拿起這本書。

  • I'm glad my mom died by Jeanette mccurdy, not sponsored, as always, keep an eye on site for more psycho content until next time, all references used in and to create this video are listed below.

    我很高興我的媽媽死了,由珍妮特-麥考迪,不讚助,像往常一樣,保持關注網站的更多心理內容,直到下一次,所有參考資料在和創建這個視頻是列在下面。

trigger warning.

觸發警告。

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