are all the same.

全都一樣

They do!

難道不是嗎!

Bro, there’s only two types of Asian girls:

亞洲女孩只分兩種

The nerds that live in the library

把圖書館當家的書呆子

or the crazy party chicks that bleach their hair.

和一頭金髮的瘋狂夜店咖

That’s it!

就是這麼回事

The truth is,

不過其實

there are many different types of Asian girls.

亞洲女生可是有許多類型

Yeah! About 18.

沒錯 多達18種唷!

Using the patented scientific method of

用科學專利－

“making things up,”

「捏造與瞎掰」得來的研究結果

we present to you today,

向您隆重呈現

18 Types of Asian Girls.

「18種亞洲女生」

But before we complete each comprehensive profile of the Asian girls,

但徹底了解每一種之前

we brought in Asian girl-expert,

我們邀請了亞洲女專家

Porter Lynn.

菠特˙琳恩

Don’t worry guys

別擔心

I’ve been an Asian girl for over 20 years.

我當了20年以上的亞洲女生

And I have their reports analysis, right here!

研究分析了我的同類 她們的一切 我都清清楚楚

Good work Porter.

幹的好 菠特

Let’s go!

一起來看看吧!

Number 1: The ABG -

第一種: ABG

Asian Baby Girl.

亞洲火辣北鼻

Common roles you’ll find ABG girls in are:

她們扮演的角色

Import model, sexy coffee shop, trendy fusion restaurant,

通常是車模、咖啡店和多國料理餐廳的性感女侍

Go-go dancers, and working at vape shops.

夜總會舞女、吧檯妹

For those of you guys who don’t know,

如果你沒聽過ABG

the Asian baby girl is

她們基本上就是

basically a female Asian Gangster.

女版的亞洲幫派

“I like guys with big fast car and tattoos;

「我喜歡有跑車和刺青的男人

and may have been arrested.”

吃過牢飯就更好了」

They’re short, sexy

她們狂躁、性感

and you’ll know when you’ll see them.

你遇上時一定馬上就會知道

“Next month, I’m going to be at the cover of Import Tuner Magazine.”

「我要當Import Tuner(註: 汽車雜誌)下個月的的封面人物」

The ABG often has on

ABG通常都會戴

circle lenses, fake lashes

放大片、假睫毛

dark eyeliner, perfectly drawn eyebrows,

畫黑色眼線和無懈可擊的眉毛

highlights or dyed hair, a push up bra;

挑染或染髮 還有魔術胸罩

anything that exposes her pierced belly button, or dragon tattoo.

反正一定要露出臍環和龍刺青

The ABG looks tough on the outside,

ABG外表強悍

but secretly on the inside,

但其實內心

she’s a little bit insecure.

脆弱又沒安全感

“Are you freaking cheated on me? You cheated on me?

「你劈腿? 你竟敢劈腿!

Oh my God? Am going to kill you.

我的天啊! 我要殺了你」

Where are you going? I’m talking to you. Hey! Hey!”

「你要去哪?! 我在跟你講話! 喂!」

“Come back!”

「回來!!!」

The turn down version of ABG is just AZN

ABG 其實就是 AZN (註: aznbbygirl)

Number 2: The Normal Good Asian Girl.

第二種: 普通的亞洲好女孩

If you’re looking for cute and sweet,

如果你想找可愛又甜美的

she’s your gal.

選她就沒錯了

(the girl sweetly smiles)

(甜甜的微笑)

A common exchange between a normal Asian girl and her boyfriend

這類型女孩和男友的對話

might be like:

可能是:

Uh hey! What do you want to go eat?

妳想吃什麼呢?

Hmmm, I don’t know.

嗯…不知道耶

Wherever you want to eat.

你呢? 你想去哪吃?

The good Asian girl is totally cool,

亞洲好女孩一點都不介意

who’s spending Friday night with her parents at an Asian restaurant

週五晚上和爹娘一起去餐廳吃飯

They like Korean dramas, Hello Kitty.

她們喜歡韓劇、凱蒂貓

Yogurt land, Disneyland,

優格樂園(註: 美國霜凍優格品牌)、迪士尼樂園

anything that ends with land.

任何以「樂園」結尾的東西

It’s all one big cute ecosystem that

這些女孩喜歡的

the normal and average good Asian girl like.

就是個巨無霸卡哇伊小世界

And she definitely enjoys herself

她也一定很喜歡

with a good Wong Fu video.

Wong Fu (註: 3個美籍華裔組成的拍攝團隊) 的影片

The normal good Asian girl generally wears loose or fading clothing.

這些女生大多都穿寬鬆的衣服

Nothing too crazy or sexier.

並不會打扮得驚世駭俗或過分暴露

Number 3: Yappie Asian Girl -

第三種: 雅痞

“Young Asian Professional”

「年輕有為的專業女人」

The Yappie Asian Girl is the turn up version of the good Asian girl.

她們是亞洲好女孩的升級版

The Yappie Girls like having a jam packed schedule,

這些女孩行程很滿

eating in a cool and expensive restaurants,

喜歡昂貴一流的餐廳

hiking and half marathons,

健行、半程馬拉松

writing about how much she travels,

記錄自己的旅行時光

driving a pretty decent car, and home decorations.

開名車以及居家裝潢

Basically, if you want to know more,

如果想知道更多

watch this video called “What Yappies Like”.

請看我們的另一部影片

We made it right here.

「雅痞到底是什麼樣子?」

She definitely wears

她一定擁有

Tory Burch Reva flats

托里˙伯奇(註: 美國時尚品牌)的平底鞋

and similar items.

還有類似風格的單品

Number 4: The FOB Asian Girl

第四種: 新移民

Oh yeah!

沒錯～

Fresh off the boat!

就是搭船來美洲的新移民(FOB)

But nowadays, they’re more like Boba

但今天大多已經是

“Brought Over By Airplane”

「搭飛機來」的新移民(BOBA)

So there’s a lot of different types of FOB Asian Girl.

FOB或BOBA有很多種

But we’re going to be focusing

但這裡我們只討論

on the rich and the normal.

有錢和一般這兩個

The rich FOB Asian Girl may have done international school back in Asia,

富有的那些 可能在家鄉的國際學校念過書

where her family has millions of dollars

她爸媽的資產多不勝數

or she just came off the plane yesterday

或昨天才剛下飛機

and is already driving a Ferrari

今天就開起法拉利了

very badly

還開得很爛

The normal fob girl is probably a student

家境小康的那些

who spends a lot of time at the boba shop

大多是整天泡在茶店

or library on campus.

或常跑圖書館的學生

And currently, she’s trying to decide

她也許正在煩惱－

whether she can stay in America or go back.

要回亞洲還是留在美國?

The rich FOB girl’s outfit,

有錢的FOB光身上穿的

probably cost more than your car.

可能就比你車子還貴

The normal FOB chick likes

一般的FOB喜歡

American brands that aren’t very special to us

美國人眼裡很普通

But very special to them

在亞洲人眼裡 卻很特別的品牌

The Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria’s Secret

例如: A&F、維多利亞的秘密

Number 5: The GEEK Asian Girl

第五種: 極客

The GEEK Asian Girls like being a gamer, being an Otaku, being a K-Pop fan girl,

範圍包括電玩族、御宅族、哈韓族

being a youtube fan girl, being in a Sci-Fi, and being in a British TV show.

youtube愛用者、科幻小說粉絲或英國電視劇迷

I just got an early bird tickets to a K-con,

我用早鳥價買到了韓星演唱會

Anime Expo and comic con.

動畫展還有同人展的票

Did you get yours yet?

你買了嗎?

But don’t get the GEEK Asian Girl mixed up with a normal Asian girl

別把極客和亞洲好女孩搞混了

The GEEK Asian Girls are much more in a subculture and entertainment.

她們屬於次文化和娛樂那一掛

She probably read the entire book series of A Game of Thrones

她可能看權力遊戲影集之前

before watching the show.

會先把整套書都看完

But shout out to the GEEK Asian Girls

不過也多虧這些極客女孩

Because without you guys,

沒有她們

there would be no Asian youtube stars

就沒有亞洲youtube名人

Then what would I do?

那我該如何是好?!

You guys mean so much… (pretending to cry)

妳們對我來說太重要了~(哭)

The Geeky Asian Girl does not use a picture

她不會在頭像放

of her face as her avatar and she is

自己扮成阿凡達的照片

into Asiatic thing.

她喜歡有亞洲風的東西

She probably kind of wishes she was Korean or Japanese.

很希望自己是櫻花妹或韓妞

“Oh G-dragon! I love K-Pop . . . “Fighting!”

「噢 G-dragon!」「我超喜歡K-pop!」「Fighting~」

As far as clothing

至於她們穿什麼

They’re probably wearing a t-shirt of

也許是印有

their favorite band, TV show or favorite YouTube star.

自己喜愛團體、電視劇、youtube名人的T恤

Wong Fu for life

「永遠支持Wong Fu～♥」

Number 6: The Brainiac

第六種: 女愛因斯坦

Super Nerd Asian Girl.

勤奮用功的書呆子

She’s probably the daughter of a

教授、研究人員、工程師

Professor or a researcher or engineer or something that’s smart.

或任何高智商人才的女兒

Do the words “Quantum Mechanics” String Theory or the Multi-variable calculus,

「量子結構、弦理論、多元微積分」

ring a bell?

是不是覺得它們很耳熟呢?

If they do,

如果答案是肯定的

you’re probably a Brainiac Asian Girl!

妳可能就是書呆子型的喲!

She doesn’t use social media very much

這些聰明女孩不常用社群媒體

unless she’s posting about some sort of

除非是po科學重大突破

Scientific breakthrough or project she is working on.

或她的研究專案等等的

The Brainiac Asian Girl wears wired rim glasses

她們通常會戴圓形的細框眼鏡

and generally, doesn’t care a lot about fashion.

對時尚潮流毫無關心

Number 7: The FITNESS Sporty Asian Girl

第七種: 運動狂熱者

You have your fitness Asian Girl,

有一些單純享受運動 體態曼妙

But she’s really more into health

另外一些更關心

for the benefits of looking good on Instagram

如何以動人姿態出現在instagram

and you’re sporty Asian girls,

還有一些投身運動領域

she played multiple sports growing up,

玩各種運動長大的

was a tomboy,

有一點男人婆

and as an adult, she still plays

就算她已長大成人

Intramural recreational sports.

她還是把運動當成休閒 樂此不疲

Some of the things that the fitness sporty girl likes are

這些女生喜歡

crossfit, Zumba, doom squats,

有氧運動、重量訓練

Yoga pilates, buying new workout clothes,

瑜珈墊、深蹲、買運動背心

and posting inspirational quotes on Instagram.

在instagram上po發人深省的名言佳句

Fitness Sporty Asian Girl wears Nike womens,

健美女孩穿Nike系列的女性產品

Lululemon or other similar brands.

Lululemon(註: 瑜珈服品牌)或類似牌子

Great work out today.

「今天表現得不錯喔!」

No pain, no gain.

「一分耕耘 一分收穫！」

Number 8: The Party Asian Girl

第八種: 派對動物

Oh yeah…

沒錯…!

Although there are some similarities,

雖然和ABG有許多相似之處

don’t get it mix up with the ABG.

但可別混淆了

The Party Girl is more defined

派對動物

by the extravagant nights out:

以極盡奢華的夜晚出遊聞名

bar, club, concert, festival, Vegas

酒吧、俱樂部、音樂會、大小節慶

she’s there.

通通有她的身影

Hey! Hey let’s take a selfie.

嘿! 來拍一張吧

Unlike ABG, you’ll never find

不像ABG

a Party Girl at the pool.

她們絕不會出現在撞球場之類的地方

You can find this girls at the hotel rooms,

不過可以在賭城的飯店房間

or day clubs in Vegas

或日間泳池派對見到她

taking pictures with her friends;

跟她所謂的「辣妹死黨」

who she refers to as betches or baes.

瘋狂自拍

Me and my girls all look like sexy betches tonight

「我們辣妹幫今晚超性感惹火」

Ugh, why these guys are hitting on us.

「噁 這些男的怎麼一直黏過來啊?」

It’s annoying.

「好煩噢 真是的」

Thirsty much?

「你會不會太飢渴了?」

The best pictures are when they are posing

最佳代表照

with their hand on their hip,

把手扶在臀部

knee bend, head slightly tilt to the one side,

膝蓋微彎、頭微傾加上

and typically in a dark room.

周圍黑嘛嘛

The Party Asian Girls spend a lot of time

派對女孩整天都在想

thinking about which party she going to go to this weekend.

這周末要去哪個party

Dude, who are those guys that she’s hanging out with, man

老哥 和這些正妹出去的男人都是誰啊? 天啊

How am I supposed to compete?

我們完全不是對手

(Shame face)

(自信心嚴重打擊)

C’mon let’s take a selfie.

來吧 一起拍一張

That’s not good, let’s do it again.

照壞了 再來一次

As far as clothing, they have a bunch of clothes from Forever 21

她們有一堆Forever 21(註: 美國年輕人品牌)的衣服

bikinis for day clubs,

穿去日間俱樂部的比基尼

bandage dresses and bra tops.

緊繃連身洋和附罩杯內衣

Number 9: The Whitewashed Asian Girl

第九種: 香蕉人

Oh it’s my favorite type.

喔 我最喜歡這一種了

Okay so here’s three ways that Asian girl can be whitewashed.

成為香蕉人有三種途徑

The first way is

第一種

that they grow up on all white environment

在白人環境長大的

so it feels very natural for them.

談話舉止都像白人

The second way

第二種

is that she grow up around Asia

在亞洲地區長大

but she does not think it as cool

但覺得這不是自己的歸屬

so she kind of reject it.

所以不接納亞洲文化

And third way is that

第三種

Asian girl can be adopted into a white family

被白人家庭領養

in which case that make perfect sense.

這就是100%的香蕉人

Now, those three methods turn into two types.

香蕉女孩又有兩種

The two types of whitewashed Asian girls are

分別是

the Blonde Sorority Wannabe

想擠進姐妹會的

and the second kind is the Rocker Alternative girl.

和另類搖滾型

And often you’ll hear

你也許常聽到

why whitewash Asian girl says things like:

香蕉人說:

No, I’m not really thinking about race, We're... just people.

「我覺得種族不是什麼問題 還不都是人嗎?」

And

還有

Ew that’s so Asian.

「噁 也太亞洲了吧?」

Or

或者

Oh my god, haba babies are the cutest

「天啊 混血兒最可愛了」

Or this

又或是

I think I am more in common with them,

「我想我跟白人有更多共同點」

I don’t know. I just really like white guys.

「不知道內 我就是比較喜歡白人」

Or maybe this too

可能還會聽到:

Um yeah, now that I think about it,

「現在回想起來

I’ve never dated an Asian guy before.

我好像還真沒跟亞洲男生交往過耶」

And the second kind is the Rocker Alternative girl.

第二種是另類搖滾女孩

She’s edgy, cynical.

她急躁、犀利

Doesn’t really relate to most Asian.

和一般亞洲人不太一樣

How do you like that cartoon Daria.

有點像卡通角色黛薇兒

And the whitewashed worthy Asian chick,

香蕉女特愛

really love San Diego and Santa Barbara.

聖地牙哥和聖芭芭拉

Or really just any rich white party area by the beach.

總之就是一些奢華白趴的集散地

The sorority whitewashed Asian girl

姐妹會類型的

pretty much wears what a white sporty girl would wear.

穿的就像白人姐妹會成員

And she’s really into themed parties.

她也很愛主題趴

Like neon pub crawls

例如: 每個人都繽紛鮮豔的霓虹派對

The alternative Asian rocker chick

另類搖滾妞

Pretty much wears what an alternative white girl rocker chick will wear

打扮的就像另類搖滾白妞

But a little toned down because she still

但不會那麼高調惹人注目

Has Asian parents

可不能把亞洲爸媽給嚇昏了

Number ten: The hipster Asian Girl

第十種: 文青

Hipster are pretty big category nowadays

現在文青不少

But you know what I mean.

但你懂我意思

This girl is an artist, blogger, photographer

這些女生有的是藝術家、部落客、攝影師

Hippie, doing social media for company

嬉皮、公司行號公關

Or she just want freelancing in something

或是正在摸索人生志向

And she’s trying to figure it out

讓爸媽煩惱不已的

And her parents are worried.

自由業女生

“Irony, Irony, Irony,”

諷刺啊 諷刺 諷刺啊

“I love Irony.”

諷刺真是深得我心

They’re always friends with a lot of white people

她們有許多白人朋友

And can be friends with a lot of Asians too

也能和亞洲人打成一片

But they gotta hipsters as well

但那些亞洲人一定也得是文青

And they definitely like tall skinny guys,

很愛高高的瘦竹竿

With beard too like ark

配上落腮鬍

Hipster Asian girls love oversized sweaters,

亞洲文青喜歡過大的毛衣

Beanies, tattoos, piercings,

毛帽、刺青、打洞