Here's the seventh place winner of the Ocean's hottest news anchor.

這裡是海洋最熱門新聞主播的第七名得主。

Award perch.

獲獎的棲息地。

Perkins.

珀金斯。

Tonight's top stories are lifeless, mannequins secretly living among us.

今晚的頭條新聞是沒有生命的，人體模型祕密地生活在我們中間。

Then a new arm shrinking spray hits the shelves and locals wonder what's it for?

然後，一種新的手臂收縮噴霧劑上架了，當地人想知道它有什麼用？

Seriously, what is the purpose of this?

說真的，這樣做的目的是什麼？

And finally a dangerous new viral dance challenge.

最後是一個危險的新病毒性舞蹈挑戰。

The sponge sweeps bikini bottom, leaving parents concerns for the safety of their teenagers.

海綿清掃比基尼底部，讓父母對青少年的安全感到擔憂。

But first spongebob Squarepants prom expert or prom failure prom problems.

但首先海綿寶寶的舞會專家或舞會失敗的舞會問題。

We've been tipped off by our anonymous source that the local fry cook who claimed to be an expert on high school prom's.

我們的匿名消息來源告訴我們，當地的油炸廚師自稱是高中舞會的專家。

I am a prom expert had to resort to taking his best friend's mom to his own prom.

我是一個舞會專家，不得不求助於帶他最好的朋友的媽媽參加他自己的舞會。

I couldn't even get a date for my own junior prom.

我甚至不能為我自己的國中畢業舞會找到一個約會。

No, that was Patrick who brought his mom.

不，那是帕特里克帶著他媽媽來的。

So why lie about his prom experience?

那麼，為什麼要對他的舞會經歷撒謊呢？

So no, a second anonymous source believes that the young rectangle was lying in order to increase his odds of being chosen as this anonymous high schoolers date.

所以不，第二個匿名消息來源認為，這個年輕的長方形在撒謊，以增加他被選為這個匿名高中生約會對象的機率。

So is this behavior promising for the young sponge or is it just prom blah.

是以，這種行為對年輕的海綿來說是有希望的，還是隻是舞會上的胡說八道。

Matic, Our quick, our quick viewer poll reveals that the overwhelming majority of you find this prom blah.

馬蒂奇，我們的快速，我們的快速觀眾調查顯示，你們絕大多數人都認為這個舞會很無聊。

Matic, can we get this off the screen?

馬蒂奇，我們能把這個從螢幕上拿下來嗎？

But now mannequins may not be as lifeless as we once thought.

但現在，人體模型可能並不像我們曾經認為的那樣毫無生氣。

That's right.

這就對了。

Scientists from around the ocean are flocking to bikini bottom to study a dummy meet dummy bob, a lifelike mannequin of its creator sponge, bob square pants that he first used to apparently get out of a conversation with his boss.

來自海洋各地的科學家們正湧向比基尼底，研究一個假人滿足假人鮑勃，這是其創造者海綿的一個栩栩如生的模型，鮑勃的方褲，他第一次使用顯然是為了擺脫與他老闆的談話。

Seriously, how is this guy employee of the month and I can't even win.

說真的，這傢伙怎麼會是本月最佳員工，而我甚至不能贏。

Ocean's hottest news anchor.

海洋最熱門的新聞主播。

Good old Mr.

好的老先生。

Oh hi Mr crabs, are you talking to that dummy I made It's pretty realistic, isn't it?

哦，嗨，螃蟹先生，你是在和我做的那個假人說話嗎？ 這很逼真，不是嗎？

But the trick worked a little too well.

但這一招的效果有點太好。

As his employer, Eugene crabs claims his daughter spent several hours with who she was convinced was the real square pants.

作為他的僱主，尤金螃蟹稱他的女兒與她確信是真正的方塊褲的人呆了幾個小時。

Before learning it had actually been the dummy all along spongebob.

在得知它實際上一直是海綿寶寶的假人之前。

While this isn't the first report of inanimate objects gaining sentience in bikini bottom, it displays an interesting similarity to other incidents.

雖然這不是第一份關於無生命物體在比基尼底層獲得知覺的報告，但它與其他事件顯示出有趣的相似性。

They all seem to be connected to sponge bob square pants.

他們似乎都與海綿寶寶的方形褲子有關。

Square pants has not responded to our request for a comment.

方形褲沒有對我們的評論請求作出迴應。

Speaking of dummies, let's throw it over to lurch Larkins for today's weather.

說到傻瓜，讓我們把今天的天氣扔給魯奇-拉金斯。

Oh thanks perch and watch your back.

哦，謝謝你的棲息地，小心你的背部。

Wait, what?

等等，什麼？

It's time to get your squeaky boots on because there have been reports of unexpected indoor flash floods.

現在是時候穿上你的吱吱作響的靴子了，因為有報告稱室內出現了意想不到的山洪。

That's right.

這就對了。

Even though we're already underwater.

儘管我們已經在水下了。

Flash floods are possible, experts are unsure what caused the sudden flood in the krusty Krab friday afternoon that injured a group of septuplets visiting the restaurant.

山洪暴發是可能的，專家們不確定是什麼原因導致蟹堡王星期五下午突然發生洪水，使一群來餐廳的七胞胎受傷。

Fine.

很好。

Although it was said to be accompanied by this ear splitting sound of a whale call whether that's connected to the flash flood is currently unknown, wow, that was loud.

雖然據說伴隨著鯨魚叫聲的這種震耳欲聾的聲音，這是否與山洪有關目前還不得而知，但哇，這聲音真大。

Sorry everyone.

對不起，各位。

But unfortunately back to perch.

但不幸的是，回到了棲息地。

I don't know what made that whale so sad.

我不知道是什麼讓那條鯨魚如此悲傷。

I guess it must be a blue whale.

我想這一定是一條藍鯨。

You're a hack perche.

你是個黑客。

It's time to fish out your wallets because a new product is flying off the shelves from the people who brought you other useful sprays like alien out and chrome in a can comes a unique new spray that allows you to shrink someone's arm while that may sound great on paper.

是時候掏出你們的錢包了，因為一種新產品正從貨架上飛出，這些人給你們帶來了其他有用的噴霧劑，如異形和鉻罐，還有一種獨特的新噴霧劑，可以讓你縮小某人的手臂，而這在紙上聽起來可能很棒。

It has critics wondering excuse my language, what the barnacles is the point, claiming that there is no purpose whatsoever for such a product.

批評者懷疑，請原諒我的語言，藤壺的意義何在，聲稱這樣的產品沒有任何意義。

Local whale.

當地的鯨魚。

Pearl crabs disagrees and even claims that the spray helped her deal with a totally lame date who was being quote on coral unquote my first prom picture, our first prom picture.

珍珠蟹不同意，甚至聲稱噴霧幫助她處理一個完全蹩腳的約會，他在珊瑚上被引用，我的第一次舞會照片，我們的第一次舞會照片。

Let's get this over with arm shrinking spray is now available at your local bargain mart next to the hydrodynamic spatulas.

讓我們把這個問題解決了吧，手臂收縮噴霧現在可以在你當地的廉價超市買到，就在流體力學鏟子旁邊。

But now the dangerous new viral trend sweeping bikini bottom, it's called the sponge.

但現在危險的新病毒趨勢席捲比基尼底部，它被稱為海綿。

A new dance craze overtaking the teenagers across the city.

一股新的舞蹈熱潮席捲了整個城市的青少年。

But unlike similar dance trends, such as the whack a dance in which two parties hurl the full force of their entire body weight against each other.

但與類似的舞蹈趨勢不同，例如捶打舞，在這種舞蹈中，雙方將整個身體重量的全部力量投向對方。

The sponge is actually dangerous.

海棉其實很危險。

The dance begins by taking one's leg and sticking it in the air.

舞蹈開始時，一個人的腿會伸到空中。

The dancer then takes their other leg and jams it right up there after twisting around and giving a quote, great big lunge, participants are encouraged to begin bouncing around on canoe, inevitably leading to countless injuries.

然後舞者拿起他們的另一條腿，在扭動身子和給出一個引號後，直接把它塞到那裡，大步流星，參與者被鼓勵開始在獨木舟上蹦跳，不可避免地導致無數的傷害。

This footage from a local high school prom of dozens of teens falling victim to the trend shows just how quickly the sponge can cause the safety of its participants to plunge.

這段來自當地高中畢業舞會的錄像顯示，幾十名青少年成為這一趨勢的受害者，這說明海綿可以使參與者的安全迅速下降。

We have a long tan and handsome student who wishes to remain anonymous on the line with his thoughts about the catastrophe perch phone.

我們有一個晒得長長的、英俊的學生，他希望在線路上保持匿名，講述他對災難性棲息地電話的想法。

Uh sir, can you hear me?

呃，先生，你能聽到我嗎？

Give us your take on all this?

請告訴我們您對這一切的看法？

Yes, Yes, yes, indeed.

是的，是的，是的，確實如此。

21 were injured and $1500 in damages were caused to the school before instigators were thrown out begging the question who was supervising this event?

在煽動者被趕出去之前，有21人受傷，給學校造成了1500美元的損失，這不禁讓人懷疑誰在監督這一事件？

The parents mrs puff.

家長帕夫先生。

This giant walking underwater apple.

這個巨大的會走路的水底蘋果。

It's probably his fault, jerk apple.

這可能是他的錯，混蛋蘋果。

Well, whoever was in charge, they failed and now it will inevitably be your tax dollars being used to repair the damages because while a sponge may have caused this mess, it will take a lot more than one sponge to clean it up.

好吧，不管是誰負責，他們都失敗了，現在將不可避免地是你的稅款被用來修復損失，因為雖然可能是一塊海綿造成了這個混亂，但需要比一塊海綿更多的東西來清理它。

I'm perch Perkins and that's all the news that's fit to float.

我是鱸魚帕金斯，這就是所有適合漂浮的新聞。

Good night.

晚上好。