Name: 在確認關係前必問的一個問題！ (One question to ask before committing)
Uploaded: 2023-01-09T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 3 min 44 s

天吶！所以，你和傑佛瑞進展如何？

哦，我的天哪，我們很好！謝啦！

程度副詞

We went to Puerto Vallarta last week and I gotta say, he's a really good travel buddy.

我們上週去了巴亞爾塔港，而且我真的要說，他是一個好旅伴。

Aw, you guys have been together for two months now, right?

噢～你們已經在一起兩個月了，對嗎？

And I have to say, he's been offhandedly calling me his girlfriend!

而且我不得不說，他不經意間已經會說我是他女友了！

So, I don't think a relationship is that far off.

Well, do you want to be in a relationship?

I mean, you know, it's been like a minute since I've been in like a relationship (mumbling), but you know I think I'm ready.

我的意思是，你知道，我已經單身有一陣子了，但我想我準備好了。

You know, this reminds me of something I was talking about with a client the other day.

你知道嗎，這讓我想起了我某天和我的談到的。

Oh yeah, Cassie, tell us your therapist take.

哦，對啊，凱西，告訴我們治療師的觀點吧。

Do we think that Anna should get into a relationship with Geoffrey?

Well, I was talking to my client and I was telling her that there's one question she should ask herself before committing.

嗯，我和我的客戶說，在做承諾錢，有一個問題她應該先問自己。

Okay. Is the question, "Do we want the same things"?

好吧，那個問題是：「我們想要的東西相同嗎？」

Okay. Is it "How do you handle disagreements?"

好，是：「你如何處理分歧？」

How does this person treat their loved ones?

All wonderful questions, but it's not the one I'm thinking of.

所有問題都很棒，但都不是我想的那個。

I bet it's one of those like fucked up FBI questions, like, if you had to torture a baby in exchange for world peace, would you do it?

哦，我賭，是那些很爛的FBI問題，比如說，如果你要折磨一個嬰兒以換取世界和平，你會這樣做嗎？

Or it's the Trolley question, like if you had to choose between running over a group of strangers or killing your dad, who would you choose?

或是像電車問題那樣，比如說，如果你一定得在電車碾過一群陌生人和你爸之間做選擇，你會選擇誰？

Like, you could wipe out Hitler, but in order to do it, you would have to kill baby Hitler.

就像，你可以消滅希特勒，但要做到的話，你就得殺死寶寶希特勒。

No, stop talking about baby murder. No, it's not about baby murder.

不，不要再談論謀殺嬰兒了。不，這和謀殺嬰兒沒關係。

Or maybe you have to live out your entire past life as Hitler, and then you have to decide whether or not you're gonna kill him after you've been him.

或者，也許你得成為希特勒，像他那樣活著，然後在你成為希特勒過後再來決定要不要殺他。

親愛的，是，「我們的立場是什麼？」

「我們的立場是什麼？」就是問題。

So where do you stand with this person encompasses a lot about a potential relationship.

所以說，你和對象所站的立場包含了很多潛在的關係。

Like, if you're on the same page about life goals, if you're familiar enough with each other's paths, and if you understand and see one another.

比如說，你們在生活目標上有相同的想法，你們對彼此的想走的路足夠熟悉，和你們是否了解和照顧對方。

You know, where you stand with someone could be in trust and safety, or it can be in ambiguity and anxiety.

你和對象所佔的立場可以是信任與安全，但也可以是模糊不清和焦慮。

And you can enter a relationship based on limerence and trauma bonding, or you can intentionally choose to commit to someone because of compatibility, mutual respect and a desire to build a life together.

你可以選擇進入一段基於迷戀和創傷所形成的關係，或者你也可以去選擇基於適合、互相尊重、和想共同建構生活的關係。

那麼，你和傑佛瑞的立場是怎麼樣呢？

Well, I guess I would say we stand in a good place.

好吧，我想我可以說我們所站的立場是好的。

I mean, he's very kind and sweet and nurturing, but there actually is one place where I don't know where he stands at all.

我的意思是，他非常善良、貼心，但實際上，有一個地方我根本不知道他的立場在哪。

那就是他會不會殺死寶寶希特勒。

I really need to know this before we make it official.

我真的需要知道這點在我們正式進入關係之前。

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在確認關係前必問的一個問題！ (One question to ask before committing)

content

trauma

presence

treat