Welcome to Story time today, Little Apple and I are reading the story of the three billy goats, gruff.

歡迎來到今天的故事時間，我和小蘋果正在讀三隻小山羊的故事，粗暴。

Well, actually it'll probably just have to be me doing the reading for the last time.

好吧，實際上，這可能只是我在做最後一次閱讀。

Orange.

橙色。

I'm not illiterate.

我不是文盲。

Oh, really?

哦，真的嗎？

So you read today's book?

所以你讀了今天的書？

Well, no, but not because I can't, I just don't have the time at all.

嗯，沒有，但不是因為我不能，我只是根本沒有時間。

I see not enough.

我看還不夠。

My newts in the day for little Apple.

我的蠑螈在小蘋果的日子裡。

Well, not to worry, I'm gonna read it to you and everybody else right now, once upon a time there were three billy goats who lived in a field, a big billy goat, a medium sized billy goat and a super duper, teeny tiny billy goat.

好吧，別擔心，我現在就讀給你和大家聽。從前有三隻小山羊住在一塊田裡，一隻大山羊，一隻中等大小的小山羊和一隻超級超級小的小山羊。

I resent this casting decision.

我很反感這個選角決定。

By the way, one day the goats realized there was no grass left to eat in their field.

對了，有一天，山羊發現它們的田裡沒有草可吃了。

They've eaten it all fortunately.

幸運的是，他們都吃完了。

Another field with beautiful green grass was just across the river, but in order to get there, they'd need to cross the bridge and this was no ordinary bridge.

另一塊有著美麗綠草的田地就在河對面，但為了到達那裡，他們需要過橋，而這不是一座普通的橋。

A troll lived underneath and he loved to eat goats.

下面住著一個巨魔，他喜歡吃山羊。

I love goats.

我喜歡山羊。

Get in my bed.

上我的床。

Oh man!

哦，天哪!

Oh man, Oh man, Oh man!

哦，天啊，天啊，天啊!

The small goat volunteered to go across the bridge.

小山羊主動要求過橋。

1st, man, The troll was just about to pounce when an idea entered the small goats, walnut sized brain.

第一，夥計，當一個想法進入小山羊核桃大小的大腦時，巨魔剛要撲上來。

Pea sized brain walnut will be fine.

豌豆大小的腦核桃就可以了。

Anyway, the small goat looked up at the troll and said in a voice so teeny tiny, so ridiculously puny, so impossibly microscopic.

總之，小山羊抬頭看了看巨魔，用一種非常小的聲音說："太小了，太可笑了，太不可能的微不足道了。

We get it.

我們明白了。

Orange.

橙色。

Look troll.

看著巨魔。

You shouldn't ruin your appetite by eating me.

你不應該因為吃我而破壞你的胃口。

Another goat's gonna be along any minute and he's bigger than I am.

另一隻山羊隨時會出現，它比我還大。

I mean, what goat isn't?

我的意思是，哪個山羊不是這樣？

Am I right now?

我現在對嗎？

The troll could indeed here larger footsteps approaching the bridge.

巨魔確實可以聽到更大的腳步聲向橋上走來。

So he let the small goat cross the bridge, but not without lobbying one last devastating insult.

所以他讓小山羊過橋，但沒有遊說最後一次毀滅性的侮辱。

The goats way as he passed by.

在他經過時，山羊的方式。

How's the weather down there?

下面的天氣如何？

Okay, did that really serve the plot?

好吧，這真的是為劇情服務嗎？

The troll then turned to find a very tall goat preparing to cross the bridge, six ft six inches tall to be exact At shooting guard from the University of North Carolina, six time NBA champion and all time Gout, Michael Jordan what?

然後巨魔轉身發現一隻非常高大的山羊準備過橋，確切地說，是六英尺六英寸高 在北卡羅來納大學的投籃後衛，六次NBA冠軍和所有時間的Gout，邁克爾-喬丹什麼？

Yeah, so MJ dribbled up to the bridge, he fake left, went right, stuck out the top and posterized the troll and one orange, the three billy goats.

是的，所以MJ運球到了橋上，他假意向左走，向右走，伸出頭來，把巨魔和一個橘子，三隻小山羊的海報貼了上去。

Gruff is a centuries old fairytale, Michael Jordan is not the goat in the story, you're more of a Lebron man.

格魯夫是一個有幾百年歷史的童話故事，邁克爾-喬丹不是故事中的山羊，你更像是一個勒布朗人。

Have it your way posterized and one, but the greatest of all time here, Orange in this story, goat just means goat, the farm animal.

有了你的方式海報和一個，但所有的時間在這裡最偉大的，橙色在這個故事，山羊只是意味著山羊，農場動物。

Oh, I get it.

哦，我明白了。

You want a story about the greatest farm animal of all time.

你想要一個關於有史以來最偉大的農場動物的故事。

So a cow, obviously, No, that's not what I posterized and one, oh my gosh, this episode is awful.

是以，一頭牛，顯然，不，那不是我貼的海報，還有一個，哦，我的天哪，這一集太可怕了。

Really, because I feel like this episode is the goat.

真的，因為我覺得這一集是山羊的。

What Orange can we please get back to the story.

什麼奧蘭治，我們能不能回到故事上來。

You may lack height, but you are right because there's still that really big goat.

你可能缺乏高度，但你是對的，因為還有那隻真正的大山羊。

The troll hasn't dealt with yet.

巨魔還沒有處理。

Um Did he get bigger since the last time we saw him?

自從我們上次見到他之後，他是不是變大了？

Nah, you probably just got smaller now by this time the troll had worked up an appetite getting posterized is hard work.

不，你現在可能只是變小了，這時巨魔已經有了胃口，被貼上海報是很難的事。

Has little apple can tell you from experience Orange.

小蘋果可以根據經驗告訴你，橙色。

So the troll wasn't about to miss out on dinner again, even though he was up against the most formidable goat.

所以巨魔不打算再次錯過晚餐，儘管他的對手是最強大的山羊。

Yet the generalized occupational aptitude test.

然而廣義的職業能力測試。

What the goat is a really hard test plus it's literally from a video game.

山羊是一個非常難的測試，再加上它確實來自於一個視頻遊戲。

So in the end, all the goats got across the bridge and they spent the rest of their days beating all the green grass they wanted even Lebron, especially Lebron as for the troll, he was cut from the NBA but went on to have a halfway decent career in europe.

所以最後，所有的山羊都過了橋，他們在餘下的日子裡打著他們想要的所有綠草，甚至是勒布朗，尤其是勒布朗，至於那個巨魔，他被NBA裁掉了，但後來在歐洲有了半截的職業生涯。

So the moral of the story is this boys and girls.

是以，故事的寓意是這樣的，男孩和女孩。

Whenever you face an obstacle in life, don't try to work it out with words or anything like that.

每當你在生活中遇到障礙時，不要試圖用語言或類似的東西來解決它。

Just ask the most athletic friend, you have to posterized your opponent into Oblivion the Orange, that's a terrible moral really, I feel like it's arguably one of the greatest of all time.

只要問問最愛運動的朋友，你必須把你的對手貼成Oblivion的橙色，這真的是一個可怕的道德，我覺得這可以說是有史以來最偉大的作品之一。

Now.

現在。