The tastiest talk show around today.

今天最美味的談話節目。

I want to know one thing and one thing only.

我想知道一件事，而且只有一件事。

Who the heck is that me?

這到底是誰的我？

Oh hey, I'm unstable.

哦，嘿嘿，我是不穩定的。

Salt sup.

鹽超。

Where's pear or sis?

梨子或姐姐在哪裡？

This kind of open sis would be sitting next to me on the couch today or just any day.

這種開放的妹妹今天會坐在我旁邊的沙發上，或者就在任何一天。

Really?

真的嗎？

Hey, I don't know man, I got the call.

嘿，我不知道，夥計，我接到了這個電話。

They said come to the juice man.

他們說來找果汁男。

I said okay man.

我說好吧，夥計。

And then I woke you guys.

然後我叫醒了你們。

Hear that?

聽到了嗎？

What?

什麼？

No, it's like a voice man and tell me to do things man.

不，這就像一個聲音的人，告訴我做事情的人。

Whoa, where am I?

哇，我在哪裡？

How did I get here?

我是如何來到這裡的？

Who is that grapefruit?

那個柚子是誰？

I love grapefruit.

我喜歡葡萄柚。

Is anyone else gonna eat that?

還有人要吃這個嗎？

Okay.

好的。

Who wants to trade seats?

誰想交換座位？

Not it, nope.

不是它，不是。

Is he drooling?

他在流口水嗎？

His mouth is probably watering over today's juicy prompt.

他的嘴可能正在為今天的多汁提示流口水。

What do you got on tap today?

你今天有什麼節目？

Little Apple roadblocks, gaming asks if you could become a human for 24 hours, what would you do?

小蘋果的路障，遊戲問道，如果你能成為一個人24小時，你會怎麼做？

The humans have teeth.

人類有牙齒。

Yeah.

是的。

Cool.

酷。

Well in that case I'd bite into a grapefruit man.

如果是這樣的話，我就會咬住一個柚子人。

Everyone answer the question please sooner we answer the sooner I can leave you heard him.

大家請回答問題，我們越早回答，我就能越早離開你聽到他的聲音。

Friends grapefruit and I want to know what's the joke?

朋友柚子和我想知道什麼是笑話？

Marshy we do that every day as foods man.

Marshy我們每天都在做這些事情，作為食物的人。

If I was a human, I used my hand to pick up a knife man and then I just started stabbing people man, give those humans a taste of what we foods have been experiencing for years man.

如果我是一個人，我用我的手拿起一把刀，然後我就開始捅人，讓那些人類嚐嚐我們的食物多年來所經歷的東西，男人。

I've lost so many friends.

我失去了這麼多的朋友。

My buddy Pepper got ground up, chewed around and sneezed out into a tissue man.

我的夥伴佩珀被磨碎了，嚼來嚼去，打出的噴嚏成了紙巾人。

The humans must pay for what they put us through man.

人類必須為他們讓我們經歷的事情付出代價，人類。

I dont disk with unstable salt quite as much as I probably should.

我沒有像我可能應該做的那樣，用不穩定的鹽盤。

Humans are the worst.

人類是最糟糕的。

You get a lot of our friends over the years.

這些年來，你得到了很多我們的朋友。

Seaman now you're thinking clear man.

海曼，現在你想得很清楚了，夥計。

Now let me take a bite man.

現在讓我咬一口吧，夥計。

My little bite back off weirdo.

我的小咬牙切齒的怪人。

Hey man, I'm not a weirdo.

嘿，夥計，我不是一個怪人。

I'm unstable.

我是不穩定的。

You know what I'd do if I was human, I'd fly.

你知道如果我是人，我會怎麼做，我會飛。

You mean in an airplane?

你是說在飛機上？

I just fly around like superman.

我就像超人一樣飛來飛去。

Superman isn't real.

超人不是真的。

I mean technically it's not even human.

我的意思是在技術上它甚至不是人類。

Whoa Does little Apple.

哇，小蘋果。

Seriously think humans can fly.

認真地認為人類可以飛行。

How human relating.

人類的關係如何。

Okay.

好的。

Even I know that one was a stretch man.

連我都知道那個人是個伸手不見五指的人。

Okay, so humans can't fly but they can still do cool stuff like breathe underwater.

好吧，所以人類不能飛，但他們仍然可以做一些很酷的事情，比如在水下呼吸。

So that's what I do bro.

所以這就是我的工作，兄弟。

I gotta ask you ever seen a human, Are you telling me Aquaman isn't real either.

我得問問你有沒有見過人類，你是說水鬼也不是真的。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

It's so great.

它是如此的偉大。

Are they the fastest runners?

他們是最快的跑步者嗎？

She has a master.

她有一個主人。

Do humans have the biggest brains or the biggest bodies?

人類有最大的大腦還是最大的身體？

No, I believe elephants got them beat in both categories.

不，我相信大象在這兩個方面都擊敗了他們。

So what good are they?

那麼他們有什麼好處呢？

Well forget being a human.

好了，忘了做人吧。

I want to be a duck, a duck.

我想成為一隻鴨子，一隻鴨子。

They can fly.

他們會飛。

They can swim.

他們會游泳。

They can walk on land.

他們可以在陸地上行走。

You're freaking awesome compared to humans.

與人類相比，你真是太了不起了。

I don't know, little apple.

我不知道，小蘋果。

That sounds like a quack pot theory to me.

在我看來，這聽起來像是一個庸醫的鍋底理論。

Okay, that was pretty good man.

好吧，那是相當好的人。

I said back off okay geez man.

我說退後，好吧，天啊，夥計。

You know I'll tell you what I'd do if I was a human for 24 hours.

你知道我會告訴你，如果我是一個人，24小時內會做什麼。

Shoot my shot was India.

拍攝我的鏡頭是印度。

You really think she'd be into you?

你真的認為她會喜歡你嗎？

Well she's never dated any citrus fruits.

她從來沒有和任何柑橘類水果約會過。

Being human would only help my chances if I was human for a day, I'd probably spend the whole time touching my tongue to my new exciting things.

如果我做一天的人類，只會對我的機會有幫助，我可能會花整個時間用舌頭去觸摸我的新刺激的東西。

My nose, my ears, my eyebrows, my elbows, the side of a little apple's face.

我的鼻子，我的耳朵，我的眉毛，我的肘部，小蘋果的側臉。

I'm with you orange.

我同意你的觀點，橙色。

I definitely see if I can touch my tongue to ideas, tongue, grapefruit.

我肯定會看看我的舌頭是否能接觸到想法，舌頭，柚子。

Your gross.

你的毛。

There is no scenario fictitious or otherwise in which you have a shot at Zendaya.

沒有任何虛構的或其他的情景，你有機會與贊達亞一決高下。

What do you know?

你知道什麼？

You just be a duck bro.

你就做個鴨子吧，兄弟。

So true man.

如此真實的人。

Let me have a little tiny bite back off.

讓我有一個小小的咬牙切齒的迴避。

Why?

為什麼？

Because I'm bothering you man.

因為我打擾到你了，夥計。

But also because there's a knife headed directly where you're standing, wow.

但也因為有一把刀直接朝你所站的地方走去，哇。

Talk about assault avenge me guys avenge me.

談論攻擊為我報仇的傢伙為我報仇。

Yeah I don't think I'm gonna avenge him.

是的，我不認為我會為他報仇。

No way.

不可能。

I mean you guys saw you never listen to me even though I kept telling to step off.

我的意思是，你們看到了，你們從來不聽我的話，即使我一直叫你們走開。

Step off.

下車。

I think it's back.

我認為它回來了。

Okay thank you.

好的，謝謝你。

Mr.

先生。

Technicality.

技術性問題。

Yes I kept saying back off, back off.

是的，我一直在說退縮，退縮。