Name: 如何不成為一個男人的孩子（或女人的孩子）？ (How to Not Become A Man-Child (or Woman-Child))
Uploaded: 2022-11-11T17:50:28.000Z
Duration: 7 min 54 s

We live in an era of adult-children: everybody wants freedom, but nobody wants responsibility.

我們生活在一個成人-兒童的時代：每個人都想要自由，但沒人想要責任。

情態助動詞 A2

But, the truth is, you can't have freedom without taking personal responsibility for

但是，事實是，如果不承擔個人責任，你就不可能擁有自由。

You have to be responsible for cooking, cleaning, and managing the house.

你必須負責做飯、清潔和管理房子。

You have to make sure you fill it with gas, maintain it, drive safely to avoid damaging

你必須確保給它加滿油，維護它，安全駕駛以避免損害它。

it, and follow the rules to avoid getting your license suspended.

它，並遵守規則以避免被吊銷執照。

Wanna start a business where you can do what you want, whenever you want?

想創業嗎？在那裡你可以隨時做你想做的事。

Well, you have to manage your own schedule, make sure its profitable, keep your clients

那麼，你必須管理你自己的時間表，確保其盈利，保持你的客戶

happy, hire employees, make sure your employees are paid and taken care of, so on and so forth.

快樂，僱傭員工，確保你的員工得到報酬和照顧，如此等等。

Every freedom comes packaged with a certain amount of responsibility.

每一種自由都伴隨著一定量的責任。

But what happens if you get freedom without responsibility?

但如果你得到了自由而沒有責任，會發生什麼？

When someone else gives you freedom and takes responsibility for your needs—such as some

當別人給你自由併為你的需求負責時--比如一些

parents might do—you can have freedom without responsibility.

父母可能會做的事--你可以有自由而沒有責任。

Because freedom without responsibility will hinder your growth and turn you into an adult-child.

因為沒有責任的自由會阻礙你的成長，把你變成一個成人的孩子。

For example, think about a rich, spoiled kid.

例如，想一想一個富有的、被寵壞的孩子。

His parents give him freedom without him having to take any responsibility.

他的父母給了他自由，而他不需要承擔任何責任。

He can borrow money whenever he likes and get anything he ever wants, and he doesn't

他可以隨時借錢，得到任何他想要的東西，而且他沒有

have to take up any responsibility in return.

He doesn't have to do well in school, get a job, do any work around the house, cook

他不需要在學校表現良好，不需要找工作，不需要做任何家務，不需要做飯。

his own meals, or clean his own space, because his family has money, maids, and chefs.

他自己的飯菜，或打掃自己的空間，因為他的家人有錢，有女僕，有廚師。

He doesn't even need to make real friends, because people are willing to hang out with

他甚至不需要交真正的朋友，因為人們都願意和他一起玩。

But one day, because the son is burning through too much of the father's cash, the father

但有一天，由於兒子燒掉了父親太多的現金，父親

decides to cut the son off from his wealth and kick him out.

決定切斷兒子的財富，把他趕出去。

The son, now a grown-man, is left to fend for himself.

兒子現在已經長大成人，只能自力更生。

He has to live on his own, make his own money, and take care of meeting his own needs.

他必須自己生活，自己賺錢，並負責滿足自己的需求。

The man can no longer function in the world.

這個人不能再在這個世界上發揮作用。

He has no idea how to take care of himself, because he never had too.

他不知道如何照顧自己，因為他從來沒有做過。

He doesn't know how to study, how to get a job, how to work for his own cash, how to

他不知道如何學習，如何找工作，如何為自己的現金工作，如何

clean, how to cook, how to develop real relationships, so on and so forth.

清潔，如何做飯，如何發展真正的關係，等等，等等。

The man is fully dependent on others: he is a man-child.

這個人完全依賴他人：他是一個人小鬼大。

And as long as he remains dependent, he will never be free.

只要他仍然依賴，他就永遠不會得到自由。

He will look to others to provide the same lifestyle for him as his father did.

他將期待其他人為他提供與他父親一樣的生活方式。

And if he does find someone, he will become a slave to that person's expectations of him.

如果他真的找到了某人，他將成為那個人對他的期望的奴隸。

And perhaps, in a worse scenario, if he doesn't find someone, he will start using coping mechanisms

而且，也許在更糟糕的情況下，如果他沒有找到人，他將開始使用應對機制

to try and satisfy the needs which he cannot satisfy for himself.

試圖滿足他自己無法滿足的需求。

So can you have freedom without responsibility?

那麼，沒有責任你能擁有自由嗎？

In the short term, yes, but in the long-term, no.

在短期內，是的，但從長期來看，不是。

There is a cost to never taking responsibility for your own needs, and that cost is your

從來不為自己的需求負責是有代價的，這個代價就是你的

But if you start taking responsibility for your own needs, you become more competent,

但是如果你開始為自己的需求負責，你就會變得更有能力。

and by becoming competent you become more independent, and by becoming more independent

通過變得有能力，你會變得更加獨立，而通過變得更加獨立

you gain the ability to revolt, and only when you have the ability to revolt are you truly

你獲得了造反的能力，而只有當你有能力造反的時候，你才是真正的

For example, think about a kid who is not rich or spoiled, who increasingly takes more

例如，想一想一個不富裕或被寵壞的孩子，他越來越多地採取更多的

and more personal responsibility for meeting his own needs.

和更多的個人責任來滿足他自己的需求。

He starts by learning to clean up after himself as a kid.

他從小時候就開始學著自己打掃衛生。

Then he starts packing his own lunch for school.

然後他開始為學校打包自己的午餐。

He starts to pay his parents a monthly rent to help out with bills, and he saves up and

他開始每月向父母支付租金，以幫助解決賬單問題，他積攢了和

He takes care of that car himself, and he uses it to drive himself to school.

他自己照顧那輛車，他用它來開車送自己去學校。

Then he starts cooking all of his own meals.

He takes out student loans, puts himself through college, and then gets a full time job.

他拿出學生貸款，讓自己讀完大學，然後找到一份全職工作。

By now, he's paying all of his own bills and fully pulling his own weight around his parents

到現在，他已經自己支付了所有的賬單，完全可以在父母身邊發揮自己的作用。

As you can see, this young man has been taking on more and more responsibility, leading to

正如你所看到的，這個年輕人已經承擔了越來越多的責任，導致了

competence, and his competence has lead him to becoming more independent, and by becoming

他的能力導致他變得更加獨立，並通過成為

independent, he has gained the ability to revolt.

獨立後，他獲得了造反的能力。

One day, he decides that he wants to move to another city to get his MBA and live on

有一天，他決定要搬到另一個城市去讀MBA，靠自己的力量生活。

But when he tells his parents this, what do they say?

但當他把這些告訴他的父母時，他們怎麼說呢？

You have to go to a local college and stay close.”

你必須去當地的大學，並保持接近。"

But our kid has become a young man now—responsible, competent, and independent.

但是我們的孩子現在已經成為一個年輕人--有責任心、有能力、獨立。

He moves out anyways and retains his freedom.

他還是搬了出去，保留了他的自由。

And what does it mean to become more free?

It means being able to live authentically.

And this type of freedom is only possible when you can revolt against others, when you

而這種自由只有在你能反抗他人時才有可能，當你

可以對他們對你的要求說 "不"。

And the ability to revolt is only possible when you become independent of others, when

而造反的能力只有在你變得獨立於他人時才有可能，當

you no longer rely on others to meet your needs.

你不再依賴他人來滿足你的需求。

And independence is only possible when you become competent, when you have the capacity

而獨立只有在你變得有能力時才有可能，當你有能力時

Because the more incompetent you are, the more dependent you will be on others.

因為你越是無能，你就越是要依賴別人。

And the more dependent you are on others, the more you have to suppress your authenticity

而你越是依賴別人，你就越是要壓制自己的真實性。

in order to satisfy their expectations of you.

The more dependent you are on others, the more you have to conform to their ideals for

你越是依賴別人，你就越是要符合他們的理想，因為

But on the other hand, the more competent you become, the more independent you become.

但另一方面，你變得越有能力，你就越獨立。

And the more independent you become, the less you have to worry about pleasing others.

而你越是獨立，你就越是不必擔心取悅他人的問題。

And the less you have to worry about pleasing others, the more authentic you can be.

而你越是不必擔心取悅他人，你就越能做到真實。

And the only way to become competent is by taking personal responsibility for satisfying

而成為合格者的唯一途徑是通過承擔個人責任來滿足

So if you don't want to become an adult-child, then start by

是以，如果你不想成為一個成人的孩子，那麼就從以下方面入手