Welcome back master, young lady.

歡迎主人回來，年輕的女士。

Welcome to @home cafe

歡迎來到@home cafe

Welcome back master, young lady.

歡迎主人回來，年輕的女士。

M: *gasp of excitement*

M:*興奮的喘息*

M: I'm so excited!

M：我太興奮了

M: How about you, Simon?

M：你呢，西蒙？

S: Yeah...

S: 是的...

M: We are at our very first maid cafe in Akihabara

M：我們在秋葉原的第一家女僕咖啡館裡。

M: and they're doing a special Gudetama event so, it's like, double exciting!

男：他們正在做一個特別的Gudetama活動，所以，這就像，雙倍的興奮!

M: We have adorable maids everywhere who are going to feed us Moe Moe food

M：我們到處都有可愛的女僕，她們要給我們提供萌萌的食物。

M: and then on top of that, there's like Gudetama hanging around

M：然後在這之上，還有像Gudetama這樣的人在周圍徘徊。

M: a-and we can take pictures with them

男：我們可以和他們拍照。

M: and this is the most exciting magical day ever and Simon is a little bit overwhelmed right now.

男：而這是有史以來最激動人心的神奇的一天，西蒙現在有點不知所措了。

S: I don't think I- I appreciate this enough yet?

S：我想我--我還沒有足夠欣賞這個？

S: But um, Martina's really having a good time

S：但是，嗯，瑪蒂娜真的玩得很開心。

M: YOU CAN BUY CURRIES IN THE SHAPE OF PUURPIES!!!

m：你可以買到布依族形狀的咖喱！！！。

M: PUPPIES!!

M: PUPPIES!

[The menu offers both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks]

[菜單上同時提供酒精和非酒精飲料] 。

[Savoury food with custom drawings...]

[帶有定製圖畫的鹹味食品......] 。

[And adorable desserts!]

[還有可愛的甜點！] [And adorable desserts!

*explaining menu in Japanese*

*用日語解釋菜單*。

S: Alcohol, thank you, I'm gonna be needing alcohol!

S:酒精，謝謝你，我將會需要酒精!

*explaining menu in Japanese*

*用日語解釋菜單*。

M: Thank you!

M: 謝謝你!

S: Okay...

S:好的...

S: So, my first mistake is

S：所以，我的第一個錯誤是

S: I should have drank before coming here

S: 我應該在來這裡之前喝酒的

M: I'm just so pleased right now

M: 我現在非常高興。

M: I'm pleased and I'm excited and I'm happy

男：我很高興，我很興奮，我很開心。

M: and I don't think I can eat anything on the menu

男：而且我認為我不能吃菜單上的任何東西

M: It's so pretty

M: 它是如此的漂亮

M: I'm gonna get like a pink puppy curry

男：我將得到像粉紅色的小狗咖喱的東西

M: And I'm just gonna stare at it

男：而我只是要盯著它看。

S: Okay, I'll... I'll... I'll eat anything. I just-

S:好的，我...我...我什麼都可以吃。我只是...

M: Okay

M: 好的

S: What's happening with my life right now? M: We're gonna pick something

S:我的生活現在發生了什麼？男：我們要挑選一些東西

M: And then we're gonna ring the bell. S: How did I end up in this situation

男：然後我們要敲鐘了。S：我怎麼會落到這種地步呢？

S: Right now? M: This is the best situation ever!

S:現在？男：這是有史以來最好的情況!

S: What life choices have I made M: We're gonna get

S:我做了什麼人生選擇？

M: The extra large Polaroid too! S: That have geared me towards

M: 超大的寶麗來也是如此!S: 這使我更傾向於

S: This situation? Mom, Dad

S:這種情況？媽媽，爸爸

M: Good Tama-chan(?) S: Where, where did we

男：好，多摩子（？ S：在哪裡，我們在哪裡

S: How did we get here?

S：我們是如何來到這裡的？

[Goofy Music]

[高富帥音樂]

[Sad Music]

[悲傷的音樂]

M: If I stood up beside them, it would be like

男：如果我站在他們身邊，就會像

M: This and then it would be like Godzilla Martin-- Heheh-- or something

M：這樣的話，就會像哥斯拉-馬丁--嘿嘿--之類的。

M: Okay. Pass me the menu; I need to order something!

M：好的。把菜單遞給我；我需要點些東西！"。

M: What do you want? S: Do they have scotch?

M：你想要什麼？S：他們有蘇格蘭威士忌嗎？

M: Scotch straight on the rocks. S: Just straight scotch. Just leave the bottle at the table.

男：純蘇格蘭威士忌加冰塊。S：就是純蘇格蘭威士忌。把瓶子放在桌子上就行。

S: I'm gonna get a Screwdriver. M: Okay. Simon's gonna get a Screwdriver.

S：我去拿一把螺絲刀。M：好的，西蒙會得到一把螺絲刀。

S: Can I ask them to substitute the orange juice for more vodka?

S:我可以要求他們用橙汁代替更多的伏特加嗎？

M: No. Accept it.

男：不，接受它。

[Funkay Music again] [Bell rings]

[Funkay Music again] [Bell rings] 。

M: The hot mocha latte.

M：熱摩卡拿鐵。

Maid: Hai M: Hai

女僕。海 M: 海

M: Hitotsu (One). Maid: Hai

男：Hitotsu（一）。女僕。海

M: Hai. Umm...

M: 海。嗯...

M: The green tea latte. S: And uh Screwdriver.

M：綠茶拿鐵。S：還有呃螺絲刀。

Maid: Oh!

女僕。哦!

Maid: Screwdriver S: Screwdriver, yup.

女僕。螺絲刀 S：螺絲刀，是的。

S: Okayy

S:好的

Maid: Oh! Okay!

女僕。哦！好的！我知道了。

S: Nice. M: Okay!

S:不錯。M: 好的!

S: Mhmmm

S:Mhmmm

S: Pink curry sets? Maid: Ohhhh!

S:粉紅色的咖喱套餐？女僕。哦啊!

M: With the magic. S: Magic! I'm ready for magic!... Okay

M：有了魔法。S: 魔術!我已經準備好接受魔法了！...好的

Maid: [Talking about hair?] M: Oh, this is amazing!

女僕。[談到頭髮？] 男：哦，這真是太神奇了！我想知道，你是怎麼做到的？

Maid: [Speaking Japanese]

女僕。[說日語]

M: Wolverine! S: Wolverine Maid: Ovary?

男：金剛狼!S：金剛狼女僕。卵巢？

M: Wolverine S: Wolverine

M: 狼獾 S:金剛狼

S: Wolverine M: X-men! S: X-men

S:Wolverine M: X-men!S: X-men

S: I don't think she knows Wolverine

S：我認為她不認識金剛狼

M: Thank you [In Japanese]

男：謝謝你[日語]

M: Her hair is amazing! S: I say give it twenty minutes and they might offer Martina a job here.

M：她的頭髮真漂亮S：我說給它20分鐘，他們可能會在這裡給瑪蒂娜提供一份工作。

M: I don't speak enough Japanese, but I'm just saying I like everyone's clothing and hair... And tiny sizes

男：我的日語說得不夠好，但我只是說我喜歡大家的衣服和頭髮......還有很小的尺寸

M: Should I let them know it's your birthday today?

男：我應該讓他們知道今天是你的生日嗎？

M: Or do you wanna keep that a secret? S: F@#k, please no.

男：還是你想保守這個祕密？S：F@#k，請不要。

S: I'm usually very comfortable in restaurants. This is the one place I just wanna be like

S：我通常在餐館裡非常舒服。這是一個我只想像的地方。

S: Okaay, you just go do your thing.

S:好的，你就去做你的事吧。

[Sad Music]

[悲傷的音樂]

Simon's inner thoughts: What the f@#k am I doing here? Why am I filming this video?

西蒙的內心想法。我在這裡做什麼？我為什麼要拍攝這個視頻？

M: Hang in there. You've got one that's gonna involve a lot of interaction

M：堅持住。你有一個會涉及很多互動的問題。

M: Don't make them feel sad when they-- S: I'm not gonna!

男：不要讓他們感到悲傷，當他們......S：我不會的

M: Don't you make them-- Don't you put that curse on me, Ricky Bobby!

你不要讓他們......你不要把這個詛咒加在我身上，瑞奇-鮑比！"。

M: You make sure that you are as happy as possible, okay? All three of you need to be--

男：你要確保你儘可能的快樂，好嗎？你們三個人都需要...

M: Whose the third person? I don't know. I'm speaking in third person now! It's happening!

男：誰的第三人稱？我不知道。我現在在用第三人稱說話！我不知道。它正在發生!

M: I'm becoming one of them. [Robot Voice] The hive mind is starting!

男：我正在成為他們中的一員。[機器人聲音] 蜂巢式思維開始了!

M: Captains log: Simon has fallen into a state of confusion

M：船長日誌。西蒙已陷入迷茫狀態

M: He doesn't know what to expect, being here

男：他不知道該期待什麼，在這裡

S: What am I doing with my life? M: So much clapping and happiness and laughter

S:我的生命在做什麼？男：這麼多的掌聲、快樂和笑聲

M: Isn't it wonderful? S: Yeah...

M：這不是很好嗎？S：是的...

S: It's great...

S：這很好...

[Cheerful Music]

[歡快的音樂]

[Confused Music]

[混亂的音樂]

[Cheerful Lalala Music]

[歡快的Lalala音樂]

[Confused Alien Music]

[混亂的外星人音樂]

[Back to cheerful]

[回到歡快的狀態]

M: There are all these people with these, like, adorable desserts and they're, like, very manly looking, and they're

M：這些人都帶著這些，比如，可愛的甜點，他們，比如，看起來很有男人味，而且他們

M: Like, digging into their marshmallow rabbit sundaes.

男：比如說，挖到他們的棉花糖兔子聖代。

M: And it's wonderful

男：而且很好

M: What should I do? What should I draw on my omurice?

M：我應該做什麼？我應該在我的Omurice上畫什麼？

M: The stress is too real!

M：壓力太真實了!

M: What should I have? S: [Basket] Balls

M：我應該吃什麼？S：[籃子]球

M: No, I can't do that. You two have a poor attitude considering that you're boys and everybody here are cute girls!

M：不，我不能這樣做。考慮到你們是男孩，而這裡的每個人都是可愛的女孩，你們倆的態度很差！"。

M: What is your problem? S: I'm a married man! I'm accounted for.

男：你的問題是什麼？S：我是一個已婚男人！我是一個已婚男人。我已經交代了。

S: No woman has any effect on me apart from my loving wife! Okay?

S:除了我的愛妻之外，沒有任何女人對我有任何影響!好嗎？

S: That's a damn fine answer and you know it!

S:那是一個該死的好答案，你知道的！你知道嗎？

M: Okay, so here's the deal. You can choose a polaroid picture to take of people, and they ask you for your nickname.

M：好吧，那麼事情是這樣的。你可以選擇一張寶麗來照片來拍人，他們問你的綽號。

M: And so Simon is 'Honey-Senpai'

M：所以西蒙是 "Honey-Senpai"。

M: And I'm 'Sailor Moon'

男：而我是 "美少女"（Sailor Moon）。

M: And Dan is 'Princess Panda'

男：而丹是 "熊貓公主"。

M: So when we hear our names being called, we've gotta go up, and we've gotta pose with them for a photo

所以，當我們聽到有人叫我們的名字時，我們必須上去，並與他們合影。

[Chill Music]

[寒冷的音樂]

[Sad Music] [Dan sighs]

[悲傷的音樂] [丹嘆息]

Dan's inner voice: H-How did this happen? How- How have I got here... In my life?

丹的內心聲音：怎麼會這樣？ 我怎麼會在這裡......？在我的生活中？

D (inner voice): What has led up to this point... Cause... This doesn't feel right

D（內心的聲音）。是什麼導致了這一點...因為...這感覺不對

Nothing... feels... good... here

沒有什麼......感覺......好......在這裡

[Picture Noise] M: Woooooow! Thanks [In Japanese]

[影像噪音] M: Woooooow!謝謝 [日語]

M: Awwwww yeeeahh!

M: Awwwww yeeeahh!

S: Wow. That girl looks like she's like twelve compared to you!

S:哇。與你相比，那個女孩看起來就像十二歲!

M: Thanks Simon!

M：謝謝你，西蒙!

S: You just, like...

S：你只是，像...

M: You've ruined my life! S: I'm just saying-- M: What are you doing with your hands?!

男：你毀了我的生活!S：我只是說-- M：你的手在做什麼？

M: You just-- you just look and your hands got wider and wider!

男：你只是......你只是看了看，你的手變得越來越寬了！你是怎麼做到的？

S: I d--- heh [mumbles]--- she's so small

S：我......呵呵[喃喃自語]---她太小了

M: So you're saying I'm big?!

M：所以你是說我是大人物？

S: You-- no you-- girl, you got curves is what you got. M: You are digging a hole, mister

你--不，你--女孩，你的曲線就是你的。先生：你在挖一個洞，先生

M: You are digging that hole! S: Hey, I like curvey-- M: Keep it up--

男：你在挖那個洞!嘿，我喜歡彎彎曲曲的...... M：繼續努力吧......

Maid: Okayy. Drinking. Drinking. M: Hai

女僕。好的。喝酒。喝酒。男：海

Maid: Okay... Sketch

傭人。好吧...素描

M: Hai!

M: 海!

Maid: ... Or bunny... or

女僕：......或小兔子......或

M: Usagi! Bunny

M: Usagi!兔子

Maid: Bunny? M: Yes!

女僕。兔子？男：是的!

Maid: Okay

傭人。好的

S: Aww, that's a great bunny M: That's a really good bunny

S:哦，那是一隻偉大的兔子 M：那是一隻非常好的兔子

[Funky Music again]

[又是時髦的音樂]

Maid: [Talking about doing magic in Japanese]

女僕。[用日語談論做魔術]

M: They're gonna make it pink for you. S: Oh, okay! M: Okay

男：他們會給你做粉紅色的。S：哦，好的M：好的

[Flashback Dialogue] M: You've got one that's gonna involve a lot of interaction.

[閃回對話] 男：你有一個會涉及很多互動的問題。

S: Okay... M: Don't make her feel sad when they-- S: I'm not gonna!

S:好吧...男：當他們......S：我不會！不要讓她感到悲傷。

M: Okay Maid: [Magic instructions in Japanese]

男：好的，女僕。[日語的魔法說明]

Maid: [More magic in Japanese]

女僕。[更多日語中的魔法]

[Simon follows] S: Ehhhh, okay

[Simon follows] S: Ehhhh, okay

S: Yah! yeah... M: Okay, ready? You're gonna repeat her S: Okay...

S：是的！是的...M：好的，準備好了嗎？你要重複她的話 S：好的...

Maid and M: 3,2,1...

女僕和M：3,2,1...

Simon and Maid: [Japanese]

西蒙和女僕。[日語]

S: OH! Maid: Woah!

S:哦!女僕。哇哦!

S: OH! Maid: Wooaaahh S: Oh!

S:哦!女僕。Wooaaahh S: Oh!

S: I think it-- Magic!

S：我認為它--------------魔術！？

Maid: Tung!

女僕。東！

S: OOhhhhhhhhhhh!

S:OO~~~~~~~~~~~!

S: I--It worked!

S：我------------成功了!

M: You're a wizard, Harry!

男：你是一個巫師，哈利！你是一個巫師。

S: Oh, wow!

S:哦，哇哦!

S: Oh!

S:哦!

S: I f--I felt the magic!

S：我......我感覺到了魔力!

M: Yes! S: Ohhh

M: 是的!S：噢噢

Maid: Moe... moe... kyun

女僕。萌...萌...筠

M: Moe... moe... kyun! Okay S: Okay M: Okay!

萌......萌......筠!好的 S: Okay M: Okay!

Everyone: Moe... moe... kyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun

每個人都是如此。萌......萌......圭臬......圭臬

S: Ahh! M: Okaayy

S:Ahh!M: Okaayy

M: You don't need salt and pepper!

男：你不需要鹽和胡椒粉！你不需要。

M and S: Thank you [In Japanese]

M和S：謝謝你[日語]

M: Put so much magic in this!

M：把這麼多的魔力放在這裡面!

M: So much magic... S: This is wonderful!

M：這麼多的魔法...S: 這真是太好了!

M: Ahh? See? I knew you'd come around!

M：啊？看到了嗎？我知道你會回心轉意的!

S: Heeey! M: He's just excited 'cause he's hungry and the food's here

S: Heeey!男：他只是很興奮，因為他餓了，食物在這裡。

M: But you know what I'm about to do S: Heheh

M：但你知道我將要做什麼 S：嘿嘿

M: Take-- Take photos for the next twenty-five minutes, son!

男：在接下來的25分鐘裡拍......拍照片，孩子！你知道嗎？

[Nutcracker Music]

[胡桃夾子音樂]

M: Oooooooo S: I gotta say, Dan's got the manliest dish, even though it's a puppy

M: Oooooooo S: 我得說，丹的菜是最男人的，儘管它是一隻小狗

S: Still looks like manliest dish out there!

S: 看起來仍然是最男人的菜!

[Cute Puppy Barking Noises] M: You wanna know something amazing?

[可愛的小狗叫聲] M：你想知道一些驚人的事情嗎？

M: This will be the first omurice I've ever had in all of Japan!

男：這將是我在全日本第一次吃到的歐米茄。

S: Oh, right! M: Yep!

S:哦，對了!M：是的!

M: Aand it's got a bunny-- oh no--- it's got a kitty on it!

男：它有一隻兔子--哦，不--它上面有一隻小貓!

M: Fah! So excited!

M: Fah!太興奮了!

S: And now for our food-snobby side to kick in

S:現在，我們對食物有興趣的一面開始發揮作用了

M: Hah S: Let's see

M: 哈 S: 讓我們看看

S: Mm

S:嗯

S: It's curry

S: 這是咖喱

S: Mmm

S:嗯

M: Pretty good omurice actually S: Yeah...

M：實際上相當不錯的歐米茄，S：是的......。

S: I can taste the magic in this M: Can you?

S：我可以品嚐到這裡面的魔力 M：你可以嗎？

S: Definitely need to finish my drink

S:絕對需要喝完我的酒

[Intense Music]

[激烈的音樂]

[Japanese in the background]

[背景是日語]

M: Oh yeah

M: 哦，是的

S: Okay

S:好的

Maid: Bunny

女僕。兔子

S: Uhhhh

S:嗯哼

S: Princess

S:公主

Maid: Princess?

女僕。公主？

S: Princess!

S:公主！

S: I'm wearing the tiara!

S：我戴上了頭飾!

S: Okay

S:好的

Maid: Smile or kyukyu(?)

女僕。笑一笑，或者說圭臬（？）

S: Kyukyu!

S:圭圭！

Maid: Kyukyu!

女僕。圭圭！

S: Kyukyuu!

S:Kyukyuu!

Maid: Sorry... Oh! Okay, okay

女僕。對不起...哦！好吧，好吧

S: Good?

S:好嗎？

S: Okay

S:好的

Maid with camera: Moe, moe, cute!

拿著相機的女傭。萌萌噠，萌萌噠，好可愛啊!

Maid: Thank you [In Japanese]

女僕。謝謝你[日語]

S: Thank you!

S:謝謝你!

S: Oh, yes! I forgot. Sorry!

S:哦，是的！我忘了。我忘了。對不起!

S: Okay

S:好的

S: She asked me to squat. I almost had to do a full squat.

S：她讓我蹲下。我幾乎要做一個全蹲。

S: To get down there

S:要下到那裡

M: Oh duckie

男：哦，小鴨子

S: I'm a big boy! Haha

S：我是一個大男孩！我是一個大男孩。哈哈

S: Ohh, thank you!

S:哦，謝謝你!

M: Kawaii

M: 卡哇伊

S: Ahhhhhh!

S:啊啊啊啊啊!

S: Oh, yeah! Very cute!

S:哦，是的!非常可愛!

S: This is wonderful! Look!

S:這真是太好了!你看!

M and S: Thank you! [In Japanese]

M和S：謝謝你![日語]

S: Well I am having a much better time now than before!

S:好吧，我現在比以前過的好得多!

M: See? Is the-- Is the full chugging of the Screwdriver or is it just---

M：看到了嗎？是......是螺絲刀的全面開動還是隻是......。

S: Maybe

S:也許

M: The joy that's come over him? S: I think I'm gonna get another one of those Screwdrivers

M：他的喜悅之情溢於言表？S：我想我要再買一個那種螺絲刀了

M: I think it was the magic curry. That's what I think

M：我想這是神奇的咖喱。這就是我認為的

S: I gotta say

S：我得說

S: Hear me out here

S: 聽我說

S: I look a lot happier than this girl in the picture

S：我看起來比照片上的這個女孩幸福多了

S: I mean, whose the cutie cutie one here?

S：我的意思是，這裡誰才是可愛的小可愛？

S: Her or me?

S：她還是我？

S: Definitely think it's me!

S:肯定認為是我!

S: Yup!

S: 是的!

M: Mhhmmm

M: Mhhmmm

S: Yuuup! M: Mhhmm

S: Yuuup!M: Mhhmm

M: Now one of the things about coming to a maid cafe is to understand that it's not just about

M: 現在，來到女僕咖啡館的其中一件事是要明白，它不僅僅是關於

M: The actual food or like sitting in a cafe. It's about the interaction with the maids.

M：實際的食物或像坐在咖啡館裡。這是關於與女僕們的互動。

M: So, even if you don't speak Japanese, just try your hardest to kind of like

男：所以，即使你不會說日語，也要盡力去做，比如說

M: You know, play along enthusiastically

男：你知道的，熱情地配合。

M: They wanna explain the menu. There's gonna be dances

M: 他們想解釋菜單。會有舞蹈

M: You're gonna have your curry turned into magic pink sauce

M：你的咖喱會變成神奇的粉紅色醬汁

S: Yep

S: 是的

M: So, you know, go with the flow

M：所以，你知道，順其自然。

S: So that's it for our super fun adventure here at our very first maid cafe

S：那麼，我們在我們的第一家女僕咖啡館的超級有趣的冒險就到此為止了。

M: Yep!

M: 是的!

S: Is it going to be our last? I don't think so!

S：這將是我們的最後一次嗎？我不這麼認為!

M: We're not sure. What's really cool about this particular location is they have like

M：我們不確定。這個特定地點真正酷的是他們有像

M: Four or five floors. It's like the whole building.

M：四或五層。好像是整棟樓。

M: And they actually have like different specials that come through

M：實際上，他們有不同的特價產品，可以通過