I actually just found out Orange is taking the day off today so excuse me for a moment while I go process that.

實際上，我剛剛發現Orange今天放假，所以請原諒我去處理一下。

Yeah yeah.

是的是的。

All right now then standing in for Orange today is lou the tick Great to be here.

現在好了，那麼今天站在奧蘭治的位置上，是lou the tick Great to be here。

Pear excited to expose the dark truth about today's story.

梨子興奮地揭露了今天故事的黑暗真相。

Um Well today's story is Jurassic park.

嗯......今天的故事是侏羅紀公園。

It's not exactly a mystery so I'm not sure what you expect to expose.

這並不完全是一個謎團，所以我不知道你期望揭露什麼。

Oh I have a few ideas I'll say your manifesto is longer than the book.

哦，我有幾個想法，我說你的宣言比書還長。

You bet Jurassic it is great.

你打賭侏羅紀它是偉大的。

Oh alright let's see how this goes.

哦，好吧，讓我們看看情況如何。

Once upon a Time.

從前的時光

An eccentric millionaire invited a crack team of dinosaur experts out to a remote island.

一個古怪的百萬富翁邀請了一個由恐龍專家組成的精銳團隊到一個偏遠的島嶼。

The reason he wanted to give them a sneak peak at his new dinosaur themed park before it opened to the public.

他想在他的新恐龍主題公園向公眾開放之前讓他們先睹為快的原因。

But here's the twist.

但這裡有一個轉折。

When the team got there they discovered the millionaire had actually cloned real dinosaurs.

當團隊到達那裡時，他們發現這位百萬富翁實際上已經克隆了真正的恐龍。

Here's the other twist, that's a complete lie.

這裡有另一個轉捩點，那是一個完全的謊言。

He did not clone dinosaurs.

他並沒有克隆恐龍。

What?

什麼？

I'm pretty sure that's how the story goes low.

我很確定故事就是這樣低調進行的。

Oh bear Bear, Bear bear.

哦，熊熊，熊熊。

What are we gonna do with you?

我們該拿你怎麼辦？

But you think Hollywood actually brought dinosaurs out of extinction for this movie bro.

但你認為好萊塢為了這部電影真的把恐龍從滅絕中帶了出來，兄弟。

They're robots.

他們是機器人。

Okay I understand that.

好吧，我明白了。

I don't think you do Amigo because earlier you said that dinosaurs were real right in the story they were real and that's where you're wrong because there were robots in the movie there were some state of the art.

我不認為你會這樣做，因為早些時候你說恐龍是真實的，在故事中它們是真實的，這就是你錯誤的地方，因為電影中還有機器人，有一些最先進的技術。

Cg involved as well.

Cg也參與其中。

Low bro.

低調的兄弟。

You are so lucky I'm here to dispel the misinformation for the audience.

你很幸運，我在這裡為觀眾消除了錯誤的資訊。

I can't believe you thought the dinosaurs in Jurassic park were real.

我不相信你認為《侏羅紀公園》中的恐龍是真的。

I don't think that I'm working within the reality of the story.

我不認為我是在故事的現實中工作。

Low.

低。

Sorry to break it to you amigo.

很抱歉打斷你，朋友。

But Jurassic park it isn't reality.

但侏羅紀公園它不是現實。

It's fiction.

它是虛構的。

I'm aware Jurassic park doesn't actually exist.

我知道侏羅紀公園實際上並不存在。

It is a made up place.

這是個虛構的地方。

I believe.

我相信。

It might even be a book.

它甚至可能是一本書。

It is a book.

它是一本書。

Can we please just get back to the story?

我們能不能回到故事上來？

Okay so on the first night it began to rain hard and this was bad news for the dino experts because the power on the island went out which meant the electric fences around the dinosaur pants stopped working and to make matters worse the water did a real number on the dinosaur.

好了，第一天晚上開始下大雨，這對恐龍專家來說是個壞消息，因為島上的電力中斷了，這意味著恐龍褲周圍的電柵欄停止工作，更糟糕的是，水對恐龍造成了真正的傷害。

But again they were actually robot dude.

但他們實際上又是機器人老兄。

No I'm serious.

不，我是認真的。

You ever see a robot get wet before I have.

你在我之前看到過機器人被弄溼嗎？

They start with bad things are freaking out man fine whatever across the entire island dinosaurs started witty wigging out.

他們開始時壞事都嚇壞了的人罰款什麼的在整個島上的恐龍開始詼諧的發呆。

Exactly.

正是如此。

He went nuts.

他發瘋了。

Not even steven Spielberg can't control them.

即使是史蒂芬-斯皮爾伯格也無法控制他們。

Wait.

等等。

You actually think steven Spielberg is Indra Jurassic park.

你居然認為史蒂芬-斯皮爾伯格是英德拉-侏羅紀公園。

Um He only directed it of course he was there and yet despite the dino robots going berserk and all that.

他只是導演，當然他也在場，然而儘管恐龍機器人發狂了，所有這些。

Nobody died in the end.

最後沒有人死亡。

No not the end.

不，不是結束。

Lou a ton of people die in Jurassic park director.

在《侏羅紀公園》的導演中，有一噸的人死了。

It was all fake.

這都是假的。

The quote unquote lawyer who got eaten on the toilet.

那個在馬桶上被吃掉的引文不詳的律師。

These so called ned re who got ink spat in his face.

這些所謂的ned re，被墨水吐在臉上的人。

These are just actors.

這些只是演員。

They're totally fine and went on to do a number of other projects in their careers.

他們完全沒有問題，並且在他們的職業生涯中繼續做了許多其他項目。

You think?

你認為呢？

I don't know that.

我不知道這一點。

Sure.

當然。

You know what now?

你現在知道什麼了嗎？

Because I've educated you okay.

因為我已經教育了你，好吧。

You know what you tell the story.

你知道你講的是什麼故事。

You mean it?

你是說真的嗎？

Yeah.

是的。

I can't wait to see how you tell the story of Jurassic Park without any suspension of disbelief whatsoever.

我迫不及待地想看看你是如何在沒有任何懸念的情況下講述侏羅紀公園的故事的。

It's not gonna be good.

這不會是好事。

Of course it's not gonna be good.

當然，這不會是好事。

It's gonna be great.

這將會是很好的。

Okay.

好的。

Here we go.

在這裡，我們走了。

The year was 1993 Steven Spielberg assembled a crack team of thieves and liars what somebody call them actors or crew members.

這一年是1993年，史蒂文-斯皮爾伯格組建了一個由小偷和金光黨組成的精銳團隊，有人稱他們為演員或劇組成員。

But the truth is they embarked on a project to defraud and full of the general populace.

但事實是，他們開始了一個欺騙和充滿普通民眾的項目。

All for the sake.

都是為了。

Making money.

賺錢。

That's preposterous.

這是很荒謬的。

Is it fair is it first they built some fake dinosaurs.

這是否公平，是他們首先建造了一些假的恐龍。

Actors pretending to die from dino attacks.

演員們假裝死於恐龍襲擊。

They recorded everything on a camera and then they released the footage to the unsuspecting public.

他們用攝影機記錄了一切，然後他們向毫無戒心的公眾發佈了錄像。

Actually paid money to watch steven Spielberg's fake documentary about killer dinosaurs.

居然花錢看史蒂芬-斯皮爾伯格的關於殺人恐龍的假紀錄片。

No one thought Jurassic park was real dude.

沒有人認為侏羅紀公園是真的，老兄。

Oh yeah.

哦，是的。

Then explain how Jurassic park went on to make over a billion dollars at the box office pair.

然後解釋一下《侏羅紀公園》是如何在票房上獲得超過10億美元的。

Obviously a lot of people were very full.

很明顯，很多人都非常飽滿。

I know I was but in the years since I've done independent research and uncovered the truth Jurassic park is fake.

我知道我是，但在此後的幾年裡，我做了獨立的研究，發現了侏羅紀公園是假的這個事實。

This is ridiculous.

這是很荒謬的。

Is it?

是嗎？

Because the only thing that seems ridiculous to me is how you can sit here and defend steven Spielberg after he fleeced the world like this.

因為在我看來唯一可笑的是，在史蒂芬-斯皮爾伯格這樣掠奪世界之後，你怎麼還能坐在這裡為他辯護。

And what's worse is that he keeps doing it jaws.

而更糟糕的是，他一直在做下巴。

The shark is a role indiana jones look a little closer.

鯊魚是印第安納-瓊斯的一個角色，再仔細看看。

That's just han solo in a hat.

那只是戴著帽子的漢族獨唱。

It's all a big conspiracy.

這都是一個大陰謀。

Wake up sheep.

醒來的羊。

All all right.

好了，好了。

Well I think that's enough.

好吧，我想這就夠了。

Truth for today.

今天的真相。

Thanks for watching everybody.

謝謝大家的觀看。

E.

E.

T.

T.

That's not what aliens look like.

外星人不是這個樣子的。

Believe me.

相信我。

I know that's a puppet.

我知道那是一個木偶。

Amigo enough.

足夠了。

Okay.

好的。

I can see I'm about to be censored by this book cover.

我可以看到我即將被這本書的封面所審查。

Everybody.

每個人都是如此。

Go check out my blog.

去看看我的博客吧。