Really, Anna? There's such a thing as being too nice.

認真嗎？真的有「太友善」這種事？

Yeah.

有。

I'd argue that there is because being nice isn't necessarily the same as being kind.

我認為是有的，因為「當好人」不一定等同「善良」。

Nice is something we do out of obligation or politeness or...

做個「好人」代表的是出於義務或禮貌做某事…

Oh, I bet you don't even want to click that, do you?

我賭你根本不想點這個，對嗎？

No, you don't. You're gonna watch this advertisement all the way through because you're nice.

你不想對吧？你會把這個廣告看完，因為你是好人。

Right?

對嗎？

Yeah. You're a people pleaser.

沒錯，你只是鄉愿而已。

Oh, look at that mouse.

看看這個鼠標。

Go crazy. Are you gonna do it?

看看這個激動的樣子，你要點嗎？

Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna prove you're not too nice?

你要點下去嗎？要證明自己不是濫好人嗎？

Well, then do it. Do it! You coward!

那就做啊！點啊！你這個懦夫！

I was having a conversation with a friend lately.

最近我和一個朋友說了這樣的對話。

So, what were your New Year's resolutions?

你的新年願望是什麼？

I want to cook for my girlfriend more.

我想多做飯給女朋友吃。

Oh, that's sweet.

哦，真貼心。

You love cooking or...?

是你喜歡做飯，還是…？

No.

沒有。

Oh, well.... Does she like it when you cook for her, so you want to do that more?

哦，好吧… 那是你女朋友喜歡吃你做的飯，所以你想更常做嗎？

I don't know. She hasn't really said anything about it.

沒有，她沒有提過這件事。

Oh.

噢。

Yeah... sometimes I don't want to cook for her or do her laundry, or pay for her entire lifestyle, especially when she's pretty mean to me most of the time.

有時候我不想做飯給他吃，也不想幫她洗衣服或付她的生活費，尤其是她大部分時間都對我很刻薄。

Cool.

酷。

Yeah.

對啊。

And then, shortly after that, the conversation with her boyfriend went like...

然後不久之後，她跟女朋友的對話是這樣的… (男朋友為口誤)

So you're like, cool with me cheating?

所以你對我出軌沒意見？

You're totally fine. It's not serious.

沒事，不是什麼嚴重的問題。

Okay.

好喔。

And it's not like an open relationship or anything like...(that) To be clear, you can't date anybody else.

然後我們不是開放關係之類的，先說清楚，你不能跟其他人約會。

And I don't want to.

我也不想。

Okay. And you're cool with me bringing people back to the apartment because we live together, so I can hook up here.

好喔，那我帶人回家也沒關係吧？畢竟我們住在一起嘛，我就在這裡約喔。

Yeah, whatever makes you happy.

你高興就好。

Tight. I'll put a sock on the door when I got someone in there.

酷，我要是帶人回來，我就在門把上放隻襪子。

You make me happy babe.

你讓我很快樂，寶貝。

Yeah, you too.

你也是。

Stop being so nice!

不要再這麼好了！

Stop being too nice.

別再當濫好人了！

It doesn't help anyone.

這對誰都沒好處。

Not you, not your family, not your partner, not other people.

對你、你家人、你的伴侶，還是其他人都沒好處。

Being too nice only teaches someone else how to disrespect you take advantage of you, or take you for granted while giving you nothing but resentment, emotional overextension and exhaustion.

人太好只會讓別人不尊重你、利用你或把你的付出當理所當然，而留給你的只有怨恨、無法承受的情緒和疲憊。

I mean, honestly, being too nice is basically like...

老實說，濫好人基本上就像…

Are you afraid?

你害怕嗎？

No. I mean, well, yes. I mean, wait, what were you hoping for?

不怕，我是說，呃，怕！我是說，等等，你想要什麼答案？

I'm a murderer.

我是個殺人犯。

Of course. I hope you're afraid.

我當然希望你害怕。

Oh, okay. Well, in that case....

哦，好。如果是這樣的話…

Ah, Ohh, I'm terrified.

啊啊啊，我好害怕。

You know what?

你知道嗎？

You know what? This is ruined.

你知道嗎？全被你毀了。

You've completely and single handedly ruined this.

你靠自己的力量完全毀了這一切。

I'm untying. You get the funk outta here.

我要解開繩子，然後你給我滾出去。

No... Come on! stab me. Or I'll hold a flashlight under your face.

不要啦，來嘛！捅我一刀！或者我可以用手電筒從下面照你的臉。

Hold a flashlight under my face?!

用手電筒照我的臉？！

What do you think? This is summer camp?

你在想什麼？以為你在夏令營嗎？

I'm not your camp crush.

我不是你營地的暗戀對象。

Yeah, you're right. I'm so sorry.

你說的對，抱歉。

But, you know, I was terrified of my crush.

但我其實很怕我的暗戀對象。

Really?

真的？

Oh, yeah, horrified.

對啊，怕爆。

I would run and hide, and I would hide under the covers, too. Every time I saw him I fled in tears.

我會逃跑去躲起來，躲在被子裡。每次看到他，我都會哭著逃走。

Hmm...

嗯…

You know, you look a lot like him.

知道嗎？你長得很像他。

Oh my God! Stop.

天啊，別說了！

Now, you're just indulging me.

你只是在奉承我。

No. Oh my God, really!

沒有，是真的！

The resemblance is uncanny.

像到不可思議。

Okay, okay, I can work with this.

好吧，這樣想我可以接受。

We're taught to be nice.

我們被教導要為人和善。

But what we should actually prioritize is kindness and clear is kind.

但我們真正應該優先考慮的是善良仁慈，而明確就是善良。

Set that boundary.

你得設下界限。

If anyone says anything other than thank you, you say next.

如果有人說感謝之外的任何話，你就說下一位。

Communicate your needs.

你得傳達自己的需求。

If they're a real one, they'll understand.

如果他們是對的人，他們會明白的。

Being nice means sacrificing yourself for others.

做個好人意味著犧牲自己。

But being kind means including yourself when you consider others.

但善良意味著考慮別人的同時，也為自己設想。

Kind is inclusive of your own wants, needs, and feelings.

善良也包括考慮自己的渴望、需求和感受。

Stop being too nice, but never stop being kind.

別當濫好人，但別忘了保持善良。

I'm Anna Akana.

我是 Anna Akana。

Thank you to the patrons for supporting today's video and thank you, as always, to daddy Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode and feeding my family of cats.

感謝今天影片的贊助人，也一如既往地感謝我的乾爹 Squarespace 對今天節目的贊助，餵飽了我的貓咪家族。

Daddy Squarespace has an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business, complete with marketing tools and analytics to help your website or online store be the best that it can be.

Squarespace 乾爹有大滿貫整合平臺，讓你建立線上平台運行業務，內含行銷工具及分析功能，完善你的網站或網店。

A lot of you love to create audio content, and you can use audio blocks on Squarespace, which allows you to embed audio on your site and tag the audio for itunes when your audio block is placed in a blog.

很多人喜歡創作影音內容，你可以在 Squarespace上使用音頻區塊，在你的網站上嵌入音頻，並標記 itunes 來源。

Plus, you can have multiple contributors, receive selective access to your sites, website manager.

此外，平台支援多個共同使用者，可以選擇開通有限權限，網站管理。

And don't worry, you own all the content that you put on the daddy Squarespace platform.

不用擔心，你擁有所有你在 Squarespace 平臺上的內容。

He offers one click Daddy portability.

他提供一鍵轉移功能。

Head to squarespace.com for a free trial.

前往 squarespace.com 免費試用。

And whenever you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com/anna to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

準備好時，隨時可上 squarespace.com/anna 即享首次購買網域九折優惠。

Daddy squarespace.

Squarespace 乾爹萬歲。