- Why would I do that to myself?

- 我為什麼要對自己這樣做？

- Nope, just you.

- 不，只有你。

(gasps) Oh my god, is this the one about Nicole's boyfriend?

(喘氣)哦，我的上帝，這是關於Nicole的男朋友的那個嗎？

- Yes!

- 是的!

- OH MY GOD. - OH MY GOD.

- 哦，我的上帝。- 哦，我的上帝。

- I cannot believe she's dating a murderer.

- 我不能相信她在和一個殺人犯約會。

- I can, she likes danger.

- 我可以，她喜歡危險。

Always has, always will.

一直以來都是如此，將來也是如此。

- I guess if you're with any man

- 我想如果你和任何男人在一起

there's a statistical likelihood for violence.

在統計學上有發生暴力的可能性。

- Yeah, but it's not like we're choosing

- 是的，但這並不是說我們要選擇

to date a murderer.

與一個殺人犯約會。

- Actually...

- 實際上...

- Oh my god, did you date a murderer?

- 哦，我的上帝，你和一個殺人犯約會嗎？

- Okay, to be fair, he hadn't murdered anyone yet.

- 好吧，公平地說，他還沒有謀殺過任何人。

- Oh my god, I forgot about him!

- 哦，我的上帝，我把他忘了!

- Yeah, he murdered someone after we broke up.

- 是的，他在我們分手後謀殺了某人。

- (gasps) For drugs? - For drugs.

- （喘氣）為了毒品？- 為了毒品。

- Oh yeah. - Oh okay, makes sense.

- 哦，是的。- 哦，好的，有道理。

And it's not like you knew he was a murderer

而且你又不知道他是個殺人犯

when you started dating him, unlike Nicole.

當你開始和他約會時，不像妮可那樣。

- Yeah but are you only a murderer

- 是的，但你只是一個殺人犯嗎？

after you commit the murder?

在你犯下謀殺罪之後？

Or were you technically a murderer the whole time?

或者說你在技術上一直是個殺人犯？

(phone chimes) - Oh my god.

(電話鈴響) - 哦，我的上帝。

- What? - Nicole is marrying

- 尼科爾要結婚了

the murderer! (women gasp)

凶手！(女人的喘息聲)

- Oh wow, look it's an emerald cut ring

- 哦，哇，看，這是一個綠寶石切割的戒指

with two rectangular baguettes in a platinum setting!

鉑金鑲嵌的兩顆長方形長方形鑽石!

And visible prongs!

還有明顯的稜角!

- Flat base too for functionality.

- 平坦的底座也是為了功能性。

- Simple. - Elegant.

- 簡單。- 優雅的。

- Very her.

- 很她。

- Aw. - I cannot believe

- 噢。- 我不能相信

Nicole is marrying a murderer. - I can.

尼科爾要和一個殺人犯結婚。- 我可以。

What? We've already established my viewpoint on this.

什麼？我們已經確定了我在這方面的觀點。

- Do you think they're gonna have a destination wedding?

- 你認為他們會舉行一個目的地婚禮嗎？

- No, I don't think he can cross state lines.

- 不，我不認為他可以跨越州界。

- God, I would never marry a murderer.

- 上帝，我永遠不會嫁給一個殺人犯。

- Never say never Melissa

- 永不言棄的梅麗莎

because Nathan's got about seven years

因為內森有大約七年的時間

before he croaks, and he could snap before then.

在他去世之前，他可能會在那之前斷氣。

- Yeah Melissa.

- 是的，梅麗莎。

If I chose a murderer, the chances of you choosing one

如果我選擇了一個殺人犯，你選擇一個的機會

are identical.

是相同的。

- Nathan's not a murderer.

- 內森不是一個殺人犯。

- Nathan's not a murderer...so far.

- 內森不是一個殺人犯......到目前為止。

- Yeah Melissa, shouldn't you know all of this

- 是的，梅麗莎，你不應該知道這一切嗎？

considering you watch every murder documentary there is?

考慮到你看了所有的謀殺記錄片？

- Aren't you always saying how the wives

- 你不是總是說妻子們如何

never see it coming?

從來沒有看到它的到來？

How they're completely blindsided?

他們是如何完全被矇蔽的？

- Yeah Melissa, and that the close friends and family

- 是的，梅麗莎，還有那些親密的朋友和家人

are so confused 'cause the murderer

是如此混亂，因為凶手

was always such a wonderful and kind individual

他總是這樣一個美妙而善良的人

who would never hurt anyone.

他永遠不會傷害任何人。

- Not a soul.

- 沒有一個人。

- Not a fly.

- 沒有一隻蒼蠅。

- Well, yeah.

- 嗯，是的。

- We're just saying Melissa,

- 我們只是在說梅麗莎。

maybe you should be careful.

也許你應該小心。

'Cause haven't you noticed there's been an abundance

因為你沒有注意到已經有大量的

of murder docs lately?

最近的謀殺案文件？

Murder docs which are based on murderers.

以殺人犯為原型的謀殺案文件。

- You don't know if you're dating a murderer.

- 你不知道你是否在和一個殺人犯約會。

You don't know if you're married to one.

如果你嫁給了一個人，你就不知道了。

They're everywhere.

他們無處不在。

- They could even be here right now. (screaming)

- 他們甚至可能現在就在這裡。(尖叫聲)

(Melissa shrieking)

(Melissa shrieking)

(women laughing)

(女人笑)

You guys aren't worth it.

你們不值得這樣做。

(women laughing) I gotta go,

(女人笑) 我得走了。

I got stuff to do, get out. - Okay, alright.

我有事情要做，出去吧。- 好的，好的。

Okay. - Bye!

好的 再見！

(dramatic music)

(戲劇性的音樂)

- Hello?

- 喂？

Nathan?

內森？

Are you home?

你在家嗎？

Hello?

喂？

Nathan?

內森？

Nathan?

內森？

(suspenseful music)

(懸疑的音樂)

(woman screaming)

(女人的尖叫聲)

(Melissa shrieking)

(Melissa shrieking)

(woman screaming)

(女人的尖叫聲)

(Melissa shrieking)

(Melissa shrieking)

(Melissa breathing heavily)

(Melissa喘著粗氣)

- Melissa, we're just pranking you!

- 梅麗莎，我們只是在惡作劇!

- (laughing) We're not gonna murder you!

- (笑)我們不會謀殺你!

- But Nathan's not home.

- 但內森不在家。

- And never will be.

- 而且永遠不會是。

(Melissa crying)

(梅麗莎哭泣)

- My name is Anna Akana

- 我的名字是安娜-阿卡納

and I completely made this entire video up.

這段視頻完全是我編出來的。

It is not based on anyone we know

它不是以我們認識的任何人為基礎

or several people that we know, at all.

或我們認識的幾個人，根本沒有。

And thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video

並感謝贊助人對今天視頻的支持

and of course, as always,

當然，像往常一樣。

thank you to Daddy Squarespace

感謝Squarespace爸爸

for sponsoring today's episode.

為今天的節目提供贊助。

Daddy Squarespace has an all-in-one platform

爸爸Squarespace有一個多合一的平臺

to build a beautiful online presence

以建立一個美麗的在線形象

and run your business, complete with tools

和經營你的業務，並提供完整的工具

and analytics, to have your website

和分析，以使你的網站

or online store be the best it can be.

或網上商店能做到最好。

For all of you who love to create audio content,

對於所有熱愛創建音頻內容的人來說。

you can use audio blocks

你可以使用音頻塊

which allows you embed audio on your site

它允許你在你的網站上嵌入音頻

and tag the audio for iTunes

併為iTunes標記音頻

when your audio block is placed in a blog.

當你的音頻塊被放置在博客中時。

Plus, you can have multiple contributors

另外，你可以有多個貢獻者

receive selective access to your site's website manager.

接受有選擇地訪問你的網站的網站管理員。

Don't worry, you own all the content

別擔心，你擁有所有的內容

that you put on Daddy Squarespace.

你放在爸爸Squarespace上的。

Plus, he offers one click data portability.

此外，他還提供一鍵式數據移植。

Head to squarespace.com/anna

前往squarespace.com/anna

for a free trial, and whenever you're ready to launch

進行免費試用，並且無論何時你準備好啟動

you can use the offer code ANNA for 10% off

您可以使用優惠代碼ANNA獲得10%的折扣。

your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace.

你第一次購買的網站或域名。Squarespace。

I mean they don't sponsor murder

我的意思是他們不讚助謀殺

but they sponsor me talking about murder, so.

但他們贊助我談論謀殺，所以。

Thanks.

謝謝。