I ate all the mac and cheese.

我吃了所有的通心粉和奶酪。

- What? When?

- 什麼？什麼時候？

- Just like now.

- 就像現在。

- And you didn't tell me so we could split it?

- 而你沒有告訴我，這樣我們就可以分了？

- That would mean I'd only get half of the last

- 這將意味著我只能得到最後的一半。

of the mac and cheese.

的通心粉和奶酪。

- Fair.

- 公平。

Okay, well, thanks for the update, I guess.

好吧，好吧，謝謝你的更新，我想。

- You got it.

- 你猜對了。

- What?

- 什麼？

- I looked at her story.

- 我看了看她的故事。

- What?

- 什麼？

- I looked at her story.

- 我看了看她的故事。

- What? The ex?

- 什麼？前任？

- Yeah, of course the ex.

- 是的，當然是前任。

Who else would I be talking about?

我還會說誰呢？

- Okay, well, why are you so upset about it?

- 好吧，那你為什麼這麼生氣呢？

Morbid curiosity about one's past lovers

對自己過去的戀人有病態的好奇心

is a natural human response.

是人類的一種自然反應。

- Oh my frickin' God,

- 哦，我該死的上帝。

I forgot you have therapy right before this.

我忘了你在這之前有治療的權利。

- Okay, what is the big deal?

- 好吧，這有什麼大不了的？

- Well, now she's gonna know

- 嗯，現在她會知道

that I like looked at her story.

我喜歡看她的故事。

- Wait, what?

- 等等，什麼？

- She is going to know that I'm stalking her.

- 她會知道我在跟蹤她。

- You didn't look at it from a Finsta?

- 你沒有從Finsta的角度看它？

- My what?

- 我的什麼？

- Your Finsta.

- 你的Finsta。

- My Insta?

- 我的Insta？

- Finsta.

- 芬斯塔。

- I don't know, I don't know what you're saying.

- 我不知道，我不知道你在說什麼。

- Are you telling me you don't have a Finsta

- 你是在告訴我你沒有Finsta嗎？

for Insta stalking?

為Insta售後服務？

- What, is that like, like a private account?

- 什麼，那是像，像一個私人賬戶？

- No, that's a private account.

- 不，那是一個私人賬戶。

I'm still associated with my private account.

我仍然與我的私人賬戶有關。

I'm talking about a Finsta.

我說的是芬斯塔。

It's a fake profile with a non-existent avatar

這是個假的個人資料，有一個不存在的頭像

so you can just stalk at will

所以你可以隨意地跟蹤

without messing up your discovery page.

而不會搞亂你的發現頁面。

- Is that like really a thing?

- 這真的是一件事嗎？

- My God, men are like two years behind

- 我的上帝，男人就像落後兩年

in digital stalking savvy.

在數字盯梢的精明。

- Okay, well, I don't think that's bad.

- 好吧，我不認為這很糟糕。

- Okay, then just set one up.

- 好吧，那就設置一個吧。

Bingo, bango, your problem is solved.

賓果，賓果，你的問題已經解決了。

Then you can look at her stories

然後你可以看一下她的故事

without feeling the shame that she knows.

而不感到她所知道的羞恥。

- Isn't the point to like, not look so that I heal faster.

- 重點不就是喜歡，而不是看，這樣我才能更快痊癒。

I mean, if I engage with her on that level,

我的意思是，如果我和她在那個層面上接觸。

aren't I just exacerbating my pain and reopening the wound

我不是在加重我的痛苦，重新打開傷口嗎？

and picking at scabs.

和挑剔結痂。

I mean, isn't looking at her social media

我的意思是，看她的社交媒體不就知道了嗎？

just gonna prolong my heartbreak and suffering?

只是要延長我的心碎和痛苦？

- Your entire existence is suffering!

- 你的整個存在是痛苦的!

- Hey!

- 嘿!

- Because you're human!

- 因為你是人!

I mean, look, let's face it,

我的意思是，看，讓我們面對它。

you can't not look.

你不能不看。

So you can either just like live in that anticipation

是以，你可以選擇在這種預期中生活。

and shame and spiral until you eventually crack

羞辱和螺旋式上升，直到你最終崩潰

and then look at it,

然後再看一下。

or you could just die by a thousand cuts.

或者你可能會被千刀萬剮。

- That's the worst advice I have ever heard.

- 這是我聽到的最糟糕的建議。

- Is it, or is it practical?

- 是，還是實用？

Do you really think you have to self restraint

你真的認為你必須自我剋制嗎？

to not look at her social media?

不看她的社交媒體？

'Cause you didn't even have the self restraint

因為你甚至沒有自我剋制的能力

to not eat all of the mac and cheese.

不吃所有的通心粉和奶酪。

- I knew it was about the mac and cheese!

- 我就知道是關於通心粉和奶酪的!

- It has my name on it, dude!

- 這上面有我的名字，夥計！

- Okay well you said

- 好吧，你說

I could have a bite - I said you could have a bite

我可以吃一口 - 我說你可以吃一口

I didn't say you could eat - If you said

我沒有說你可以吃 - 如果你說

I could have a bite, then I have a bite.

我可以吃一口，然後我吃一口。

(both talking over each other)

(兩人互相交談)

- ...eat the entire thing.

- ......把整個東西都吃掉。

- Okay, you know what, you are right,

- 好吧，你知道嗎，你是對的。

I'm sorry I ate all your mac and cheese,

對不起，我吃了你所有的通心粉和奶酪。

I'll get you some more.

我再給你拿一些。

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你。

- Okay, but like for the Finsta,

- 好的，但是像對芬斯塔。

do I have like a fake profile photo?

我是否有一個假的個人資料照片？

- No, just leave it as a blank avatar.

- 不，就把它作為一個空白頭像。

That way she'll see it and wonder who's looking.

這樣她就會看到它，想知道誰在看。

And that question will live in her mind rent free

而這個問題將在她的腦海中無償存在。

until she's dead.

直到她死了。

- Wow, that's pretty ruthless, but okay.

- 哇，這真是太無情了，不過還好。

- Hey man, she broke your heart.

- 嘿，夥計，她傷了你的心。

It's the least you can do.

這是你至少可以做的。

I'm Anna Akana, I have two Finstas

我是安娜-阿卡納，我有兩個芬蘭人

and thank you to the Patreons for supporting today's video.

並感謝贊助人對今天視頻的支持。

And of course thank you to Audible

當然也要感謝Audible

for sponsoring today's episode.

為今天的節目提供贊助。

You can go to audible.com/anna or text A-N-N-A to 500500.

你可以到audible.com/anna或發短信A-N-N-A到500500。

With a 30-day free trial

有30天的免費試用期

you get one audio book credit every month,

你每個月都能得到一個音頻書的積分。

good for any title in the entire premium selection

適用於所有優質選擇中的任何標題

of bestsellers and new releases.

的暢銷書和新發布的資訊。

And regardless of price, you keep it forever.

而且無論價格如何，你都會永遠保留它。

You also get full access to the Plus catalog

你還可以完全訪問Plus目錄

and can listen to thousands of included titles.

並能聆聽到數以千計的收錄書目。

I have been listening to "You're Not Listening"

我一直在聽 "你沒在聽"。

by Kate Murphy,

作者：凱特-墨菲。

What You're Missing and Why it Matters.

你錯過了什麼以及為什麼它很重要。

And it's so far been a really fascinating problem identifier

到目前為止，這是一個非常吸引人的問題。

of how our engagement and our listening

我們如何參與和傾聽

have just gone completely downhill in the age of technology.

在技術時代，已經完全走下坡路了。

And to no one's surprise, conversation is dying.

沒有人感到驚訝的是，談話正在死亡。

You know, we put our phones on the table face up

你知道，我們把手機放在桌子上，正面朝上

and reach for them as reflexively as we would our forks

並反射性地伸手去拿它們，就像我們拿著叉子一樣

or our knives.

或我們的刀子。

We disappear into our screens

我們消失在我們的螢幕中

during any lull in a group dynamic.

在團體動態中的任何冷清期。

And we shut off our social interactions in real life

而且我們關閉了現實生活中的社交活動

in favor of digital ones.

傾向於數字的。

So Kate Murphy has been telling me all about

是以，凱特-墨菲一直在告訴我所有關於

how I can stop doing that

我如何才能停止這樣做

and listen more to the people around me

並更多地聽取我周圍的人的意見

to enrich my relationships.

以豐富我的關係。

So you can listen to "You're Not Listening" and more

所以你可以聽 "你不聽 "和更多內容

by going to audible.com/anna

通過訪問 audible.com/anna

or by texting A-N-N-A to 500500.

或發短信A-N-N-A到500500。