Is there something wrong with me?

我有什麼問題嗎？

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

No, no, wait, it's not what you think.

不，不，等等，這不是你想的那樣。

This is a big misunderstanding. You've got to believe me, I...

這是一個很大的誤解。你一定要相信我，我...

Listen, I am telling you.

聽著，我告訴你。

You better listen to me, SpongeBob.

你最好聽我說，海綿寶寶。

You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward?

你喜歡蟹皇堡，是嗎，章魚哥？

Yes!

是的!

SpongeBob, I almost didn't recognize you.

海綿寶寶，我差點沒認出你來。

You look awful.

你看起來很糟糕。

What are you doing with these here freeloaders?

你對這些自由職業者做了什麼？

I got fired.

我被解僱了。

Now I'm "funemployed".

現在我是 "快樂就業"。

Whoo-hoo.

嗚呼。

Whoa there. You do not want to eat that.

哇，那裡。你不會想吃這個的。

Why? What is it?

為什麼？它是什麼？

Heck if I know.

如果我知道的話。

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

[blowing party horn]

[吹響黨的號角]

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

You remembered my birthday!

你還記得我的生日!

[stuttering]

[結巴]

What?

什麼？

[stuttering]

[結巴]

What's the matter with you?

你是怎麼了？

All I said was a little too much sauce.

我說的是有點太多醬油了。

It's no big deal, really.

這沒什麼大不了的，真的。

[stuttering]

[結巴]

What do you want from me? A promotion?

你想從我這裡得到什麼？升職？

A pro... A promotion?!

一個親...晉升？

[clucking]

[咯咯聲]

[crowing]

[啼哭聲]

Well, you don't have to be nasty about it.

好吧，你不必對它感到討厭。

[clucking]

[咯咯聲]

Avert your eyes, SquarePants.

轉移你的視線吧，小方塊兒。

I have take my break.

我已經休息了。

[sighs]

[嘆氣]

An official Krusty Krab licensed toy?

一個官方的蟹堡王授權玩具？

[heavy breathing]

[沉重的呼吸聲]

My purpose in life is to have you.

我生活的目的是擁有你。

That's my toy.

這是我的玩具。

Eek, disgusting.

Eek, disgusting.

Now make me 10,000 patties.

現在給我做10,000個餡餅。

And no brakes!

而且沒有剎車!

Did you hear that, Spatula?

你聽到了嗎，Spatula？

You, me and 10,000 Krabby Patties.

你、我和一萬個蟹皇堡。

And the best part?

而最重要的是？

No breaks.

沒有休息。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Now focus...

現在集中精力...

And...

而且...

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

Oh, well, If I'm going to get weird,

哦，好吧，如果我想變得奇怪。

I'm going to need to see a professional.

我需要去見一個專業人士。

So this is the thanks I get for working overtime.

所以這就是我加班工作得到的感謝。

Overtime?!

加班？

Yeah, overtime.

是的，加班。

[shouting over each other]

[互相喊叫]

[chirping]

[啾啾聲]

Get your Whirly Brain today and free your mind!

今天就獲得你的Whirly Brain，解放你的頭腦吧!

Free your mind. Free your mind. Free your mind.

解放你的思想。解放你的思想。釋放你的心靈。

- I want it! - No, I want it!

- 我想要它!- 不，我想要它！

I'm a sponge, I'll just filter feed.

我是一塊海綿，我只負責過濾飼料。

[hyperventilating]

[呼吸急促]

SpongeBob, sooner or later, you're gonna have to go outside.

海綿寶寶，你遲早要到外面去。

Listen, I told you that I'm never leaving my house again.

聽著，我告訴你，我再也不會離開我的房子了。

Go away, Gary.

走吧，加里。

- I'm busy... wallowing. - Meow.

- 我正忙著......沉湎於此。- 喵喵。

I did something so dumb to myself

我對自己做了一件很愚蠢的事

that even you would laugh uncontrollably at me.

即使是你也會不由自主地對我笑。

Meow.

喵喵。

You promise you won't laugh?

你保證你不會笑？

Okay, here goes.

好了，開始了。

Gary, I gave myself a black eye trying to open the toothpaste.

加里，我為了打開牙膏而給自己打了個黑眼圈。

[snickering]

[竊笑]

Thanks for not laughing, Gare.

謝謝你沒有笑，加雷。

I knew you'd... Gare?

我知道你會...加雷？

Oh, may I?

哦，我可以嗎？

[chuckles nervously] Tough mallows.

[緊張地笑著]強硬的野草。

Could be more marshy.

可能是更多的沼澤地。

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

Here, brush your tooth.

來，刷牙。

[sniffling]

[抽泣聲]

Mr. Krabs?

蟹老闆？

What's wrong, boy?

怎麼了，孩子？

I lost my laugh.

我笑不出來了。

You've come to the right place, son.

你來對地方了，孩子。

You know, there's one thing that always makes me laugh.

你知道，有一件事總是讓我發笑。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Don't it just tickle you, boy?

這不是讓你發癢嗎，孩子？

Mm-hm, not really.

嗯，不是真的。

That's not just a dollar,

這不僅僅是一美元。

it's Mr. Krabs' first dollar, his most prized possession.

這是蟹老闆的第一筆錢，是他最珍貴的財產。

And we got paint on it!

而且我們還在上面塗了油漆!

I think you are overreacting, SpongeBob.

我認為你反應過激了，海綿寶寶。

I don't see any paint.

我沒有看到任何油漆。

Okay, this isn't a problem.

好吧，這不是一個問題。

Maybe I can just wipe it off.

也許我可以直接把它擦掉。

There, I think I got it.

好了，我想我明白了。

[struggling frantically]

[瘋狂地掙扎]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Oh, now I see it.

哦，現在我明白了。

Santa's Christmas tree...

聖誕老人的聖誕樹...

[laughing]

[笑聲]

[alarm blaring]

[警報響起]

There they are!

他們在那裡!

It's the trick-or-treaters!

是 "不給糖就搗蛋 "的人!

Toy thieves!

玩具大盜!

Christmas crooks! Get 'em!

聖誕金光黨！抓住他們！

[shouting]

[喊叫聲]

SpongeBob, what do we do?

海綿寶寶，我們該怎麼做？

Run!

快跑！

This air is the driest...

這種空氣是最乾燥的...

[wheezing]

[喘息聲]

purest...

最純粹的...

most airiest air in the whole sea.

整個海洋中最通風的空氣。

Oh, over there's my bird bath.

哦，那邊是我的鳥澡堂。

[chirping]

[啾啾聲]

That's my oak tree.

那是我的橡樹。

It provides me with extra air.

它為我提供了額外的空氣。

[chirping]

[啾啾聲]

This dome is made of the strongest polyurethane.

這個穹頂是由最堅固的聚氨酯製成。

That's a fancy name for plastic.

那是塑膠的一個花哨的名字。

"And from the festering brine of the darkest darkness

"從最暗的黑暗的潰爛的鹽水中

crawled forth monsters of such vile nature

爬出了性質如此卑劣的怪獸

whose appearance was so hideous and threatening

他的外表是如此猙獰和具有威脅性

that the author died trying to recount them in this novel."

作者為了在這部小說中敘述它們而死了"。

[gasps]

[喘息聲]

That story sure was scary,

這個故事確實很嚇人。

but it's only a story, right, Gary?

但這只是一個故事，對嗎，加里？

[trembling]

[顫抖著]

[panting]

[氣喘吁吁]

I got you now, SpongeBob!

我現在抓住你了，海綿寶寶！

Patrick, no!

帕特里克，不！

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Ah-hah, you just had to keep making faces, didn't you?

啊哈，你就是要一直做鬼臉，不是嗎？

You couldn't heed me warning, could you?

你不能聽從我的警告，對嗎？

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs,

對不起，蟹老闆。

we thought it was just one of your stories.

我們以為這只是你的一個故事。

I'm losing business because you thought

我正在失去生意，因為你認為

I was telling one of me stories?!

我在講我的一個故事！

Why, this makes me so angry I could just...

為什麼，這讓我非常生氣，我可以...

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

Just... Just... Just...

只是...只是...只是...

No, I can't move me face!

不，我不能移動我的臉!

I've got the face freeze, too!

我的臉也被凍住了!