Welcome home, honey.

歡迎回家，親愛的。

[mumbling]

[喃喃自語]

How was your day?

你今天過得怎麼樣？

[coughing]

[咳嗽聲]

Dear Neptune, Plankton!

親愛的海王星，浮游生物!

What is that smell?

那是什麼味道？

The aroma you speak of, Karen, my computer wife,

你所說的香氣，凱倫，我的電腦妻子。

is the stench of failure.

是失敗的臭味。

And now the smell of defeat

而現在，失敗的味道

so deeply penetrates my soul

如此深刻地滲透到我的靈魂

that my very skin is permeated with its foul stench!

我的皮膚都被它的惡臭薰透了!

Thanks for asking.

謝謝你的詢問。

Well, it smells horrible.

好吧，它聞起來很可怕。

You're not coming in here smelling like that!

你不能聞著這樣的氣味進來!

Hey!

嘿!

What are you...

你是什麼...

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Stop that at once, you...

馬上停止，你...

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

I command you to...

我命令你...

Oh no!

哦，不!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

There you go.

你去吧。

Now, don't you feel better?

現在，你不覺得更好嗎？

Although I do look ravishing,

雖然我確實看起來很迷人。

it's not enough to mask the ugliness I feel inside.

這不足以掩蓋我內心的醜陋。

Did I miss a spot?

我錯過了一個地方嗎？

Oh!

哦!

Oh good, the lunch rush.

哦，太好了，午餐高峰期。

Now, that my chum bot has dropped you into my clutches,

現在，我的夥伴機器人已經把你扔到我的魔掌裡了。

you'll be forced to eat at the Chum Bucket.

你將被迫在海之霸吃飯。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

What?

什麼？

You mean you kidnapped us just to sell us your fast food?

你是說你綁架我們只是為了賣給我們你的快餐？

Come on.

來吧。

It's a standard marketing technique.

這是一種標準的營銷技巧。

You little twerp!

你這個小笨蛋！

Hey!

嘿!

He's right, you know.

他是對的，你知道。

Karen, you think I'm a twerp?

凱倫，你認為我是個笨蛋？

Well, yes, but I was referring to the kidnapping.

嗯，是的，但我指的是綁架事件。

Everything I do is always wrong in your eyes.

我所做的一切在你眼中總是錯誤的。

Maybe it's because you are always wrong.

也許這是因為你總是錯的。

Fine. I'm wrong.

好吧。我錯了。

- You're right. - You said it...

- 你是對的。- 你說過...

Why did I ever installed that nagging software?

為什麼我曾經安裝了那個嘮叨的軟件？

Nagging software? I heard that!

嘮叨的軟件？我聽說了!

At least I can go home to a wife who understands.

至少我可以回家找一個理解我的妻子。

So, tell me what happened.

那麼，告訴我發生了什麼。

I don't wanna talk about it.

我不想談這個問題。

Talking will make you feel better.

談話會讓你感覺更好。

Leave me alone.

讓我一個人待著。

That's your problem.

這是你的問題。

You never let anyone in.

你從來不讓任何人進來。

Plankton the wreck Plankton, the loner.

失事的痞子 痞子，孤獨的人。

And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.

女士們，先生們，她走了。

That's why everything you try ends up like this.

這就是為什麼你所嘗試的一切最終都會變成這樣。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Ooh!

哦!

And like this.

而像這樣。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

And more recently, like this.

而最近，像這樣。

[crying]

[哭聲]

I'm a failure!

我是個失敗者!

It's not that bad.

沒有那麼糟糕。

You just require a little help.

你只是需要一點幫助。

Maybe some henchman.

也許是一些小嘍囉。

Henchmen?

Henchmen?

Yes.

是的。

What you need to do is surround yourself

你需要做的是圍繞自己

with muscular, tough guys who will do whatever you say.

與肌肉發達的硬漢在一起，他們會聽從你的命令。

I like the sound of that.

我喜歡這樣的聲音。

Wait a minute.

等一下。

What's this?

這是什麼？

Karen? My own wife?

卡倫？我自己的妻子？

Ooh! How Krabs loves me!

哦，蟹老闆多愛我啊！

Hi, honey.

嗨，親愛的。

What's that? A souvenir from your boyfriend, Krabs?

那是什麼？你男朋友送的紀念品，蟹老闆？

Oh, pipe down. I just went to get you this happy hero box.

哦，別管了。我只是去給你拿這個快樂的英雄盒子。

Where?

在哪裡？

Thanks, babe! You're too good to me.

謝謝你，寶貝！你對我太好了。

And after that, we frolicked through the flowers,

此後，我們在花叢中嬉戲。

and then we...

然後我們...

Sounds like fun.

聽起來很有趣。

Well, the really fun part was when...

嗯，真正有趣的部分是當...

What did you do with the Krabby Patty?

你是怎麼處理蟹皇堡的？

With the what?

用什麼？

The Krabby Patty.

蟹皇堡壘》。

Remember?

記得嗎？

You can't rush these things, you know.

你不能急於這些事情，你知道。

You're forgetting the mission.

你忘記了任務。

What are you talking about?

你在說什麼呢？

You're going native, Plankton.

你要變成本地人了，痞子。

Look at yourself.

看看你自己。

What?

什麼？

Another bag of chum.

又是一袋海洛因。

Blech!

嘔吐!

Now, to shape this into His Highness's dinner request.

現在，要把這塑造成殿下的晚餐要求。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Almost done.

幾乎完成了。

Here you go. Eat up.

給你。吃吧。

What's this supposed to be?

這應該是什麼呢？

Chum seaweed,

查姆海藻。

chum pot pie, chum con coral and chum tea.

查姆鍋餅、查姆珊瑚和查姆茶。

Also known as, dinner.

也被稱為，晚餐。

Karen, your memory bank's are gummed up again.

凱倫，你的記憶庫又被堵塞了。

I did not request chum pot pie.

我沒有要求查姆鍋餅。

I requested chum stir fry!

我申請了秋刀魚炒菜!

Well, I told you months ago that my memory is full,

好吧，我幾個月前就告訴你，我的記憶已經滿了。

but you've been too busy with your latest project.

但你一直在忙於你的最新項目。

So tell me, Plankton, how do you plan on

那麼，告訴我，浮游生物，你打算如何

failing to steal the Krabby Patty formula this time?

這次沒能偷到蟹皇堡的配方？

Computer wife, don't start with me!

電腦妻子，不要從我開始!

This plan is foolproof, I tell you, fool proof!

這個計劃是萬無一失的，我告訴你，萬無一失!

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Not only will I soon grasp the formula,

我不僅會很快掌握這個公式。

but I'll be rid of your bad memory as well.

但我也會擺脫你的壞記憶。

Karen, I want you to meet my new computer wife...

凱倫，我想讓你見見我的新電腦妻子......。

Karen Two!

凱倫二號!

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

Karen Two?

卡倫二號？

I've been ... replaced?

我被......取代了？

I'm afraid so.

恐怕是這樣。

But can you blame me?

但你能怪我嗎？

She's got triple the processing,

她有三倍的處理能力。

all the latest software, and a sleek space age design.

所有最新的軟件，以及一個光滑的太空時代設計。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

The whole package!

全套方案!

I can't believe this.

我無法相信這一點。

After all I've done for you,

在我為你做了這麼多之後。

you dump me for this cheap pile of plastic!

你為了這堆廉價的塑膠而拋棄我!

Well, I had to cut costs somewhere.

好吧，我必須在某處削減成本。

Who are you calling cheap?

你說誰便宜？

At least I don't rust.

至少我不會生鏽。

You know, you're gonna wish you deleted that comment!

你知道嗎，你會希望你刪掉那條評論的!

Hey, come on, babe.

嘿，來吧，寶貝。

Don't take it so hard.

不要把它看得那麼重。

You'll find love again.

你會再次找到愛情。

Maybe you'll meet a nice uh, adding machine.

也許你會遇到一個不錯的呃，加法機。

Oh, that does it.

哦，這就對了。

Oh. Why did I program her with a jealousy scheduler?

哦。我為什麼要給她編一個嫉妒的調度程序？

And why did I outfit her with a molecular rearranger ray?

而我為什麼要給她裝上分子重排射線？

Here's your stir fry, little man!

這是你的炒菜，小傢伙!

Uh. Let's not do something we might regret!

呃，我們不要做可能會後悔的事情!

You should know,

你應該知道。

regret's the one thing you left out of my operating system.

遺憾是你在我的作業系統中遺漏的一件事。

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

Huh?

嗯？

What happened?

發生了什麼事？

I accessed the Chum Bucket's power grid,

我進入了海之霸的電力網。

remotely cutting off Karen's power at the source.

遙遙地從源頭上切斷了凱倫的電源。

Ha!

哈!

Karen Two,

卡倫二世。

I knew you were special

我知道你很特別

the moment I laid eye on your motherboard.

在我看到你的主板的那一刻起。

Goodbye, Karen Classic.

再見，凱倫經典。

Hello, Karen Two!

你好，卡倫二號

I don't even know her name.

我甚至不知道她的名字。

And yet she's stolen my heart.

然而她卻偷走了我的心。

Plankton!

浮游生物！

You've fallen in love with another woman!

你已經愛上了另一個女人!

I'm your wife!

我是你的妻子!

You're a W-I-F-E!

你是一個W-I-F-E!

Oh! You always pull that one out!

哦，你總是把這句話拉出來。

You're not a real wife.

你不是一個真正的妻子。

You're just a computer!

你只是一臺電腦!

Ugh!

呃!

Why don't you have an off switch?

你為什麼沒有一個關閉的開關？

Plankton, don't you...

痞子，你不...

So, typical day of failure, I see, huh, darling,

所以，典型的失敗之日，我看，呵呵，親愛的。

Oh, can it, Computer wife! Can't you see I'm exhausted?

哦，可以了，電腦老婆！你沒看到我很累了嗎？

Why don't you go make yourself useful

為什麼你不去讓自己變得有用

and synthesize me up some grub?

併為我合成一些食物？

Yes, your Majesty.

是的，陛下。

What do we got here?

我們在這裡得到了什麼？

Oh, goody.

哦，太好了。

Holographic meatloaf, again.

全息肉餅，再次。

When am I gonna get some real food?

我什麼時候才能得到一些真正的食物？

Mr. Krabs gets to eat real food.

蟹老闆可以吃到真正的食物。

Just look at his daughter.

看看他的女兒就知道了。

She's as big as a whale!

她像鯨魚一樣大!

I wish I could be successful, like Mr. Krabs!

我希望我能夠成功，像蟹老闆一樣！"。

I wish I could somehow just switch lives with him.

我希望我能夠以某種方式與他交換生活。

Just to know what it's like.

只是想知道它是什麼樣子的。

Then why don't you just use that

那麼你為什麼不直接用那個

Switch Lives Just to Know What It's Like o-microfier thing,

切換生活，只是為了知道它是什麼樣子的o-microfier事情。

you built last Tuesday?

你上週二建造的？

What a brilliant idea!

多麼聰明的想法啊!

Your parents must have been like part computer or something.

你的父母一定是屬於計算機之類的東西。

What is he doing?

他在做什麼？

All these tears...

所有這些眼淚...

and the show tunes.

和表演的曲子。

Why isn't he making the patties?

他為什麼不做餡餅？

Forget it. I'm going with Plan B.

算了吧。我將採用B計劃。

I'll put his brain in the Robot Chef!

我會把他的大腦放在機器人大廚裡!

You know, that never works.

你知道，這永遠不會奏效。

The answer is obvious.

答案是顯而易見的。

To get to the SpongeBob, you must show him

要去找海綿寶寶，你必須向他展示

compassion and understanding.

憐憫和理解。

Then he'll give you what you want.

然後他就會給你你想要的東西。

Will you be quiet?

你會安靜嗎？

I'm thinking!

我在想!

I've got it!

我已經得到了它!

To get to the SpongeBob,

要去找海綿寶寶。

I'll show him compassion and understanding.

我將向他展示同情和理解。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Why aren't you laughing?

你為什麼不笑？

I've heard this joke before.

我以前聽過這個笑話。

Just look at this place.

看看這個地方就知道了。

Might as well be a mausoleum.

還不如說是一個陵墓。

Abysmal.

糟糕透頂。

Oh well, at least it's structurally sound.

哦，好吧，至少它在結構上是健全的。

Ooh!

哦!

Forget this!

忘了這個吧!

I'm sick of not having any business!

我受夠了沒有生意的日子!

Then why don't you fix this rust bucket up?

那麼你為什麼不把這個生鏽的桶修好呢？

Look around.

看看周圍。

Chipping paint,

剝落的油漆。

bad plumbing, dust bunnies.

糟糕的管道系統，塵土飛揚的兔子。

It's no wonder you don't have any customers.

難怪你沒有任何客戶。

Okay, I get it! I get it!

好了，我明白了!我明白了！

What's the deal, Karen?

這是怎麼回事，凱倫？

The deal was that I paid Nat to eat your chum

交易是，我付錢給納特，讓他吃你的小魚。

so you'd quit your constant complaining.

這樣你就會放棄你的不斷抱怨。

All this time, I never had one regular customer?

這麼長時間以來，我從來沒有一個固定的客戶？

Uh, duh.

呃，咄。

Should've known!

早該知道！

Why would anyone ever eat my slop?

為什麼會有人吃我的泔水？

Ugh!

呃!

There he goes again.

他又來了。

Cut it out, Plankton.

別說了，普蘭克頓。

Why? It's just obvious that I'm a complete failure

為什麼？很明顯，我是一個完全失敗的人

and a waste of a lower life form!

和一個低等生物的浪費!

Oh! Woe, is me!

哦！我真可憐！我真可憐

[crying]

[哭聲]

Oh, Planky Bear.

哦，Planky熊。

Plankton.

浮游生物。

[humming]

[嗡嗡聲]

Plankton!

浮游生物！

What?

什麼？

What is it, Karen? Can't you see I'm working here?

怎麼了，卡倫？你沒看到我在這裡工作嗎？

Yes, but I wanted to show you my new screen saver.

是的，但我想讓你看看我的新螢幕保護程序。

- What do you think? - Great.

- 你覺得怎麼樣？- 很好。

You didn't even look!

你甚至都沒看!

Eh.

Eh.

No, I didn't!

不，我沒有！我沒有

Can't you see I'm working on my new molecular analyzer?

你沒看到我正在研究我的新分子分析器嗎？

Now, all I need is the smallest molecule of a Patty,

現在，我所需要的是最小的帕蒂分子。

and the formula will be mine!

而這個配方將是我的!

Just tell me if I should permanently

請告訴我，如果我應該永久性地

upload the screensaver.

上傳螢幕保護程序。

I said not now... ow!

我說現在不行......嗷!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Sample is...

樣品是...

I have also analyzed your screensaver, Karen.

我還分析了你的屏保，卡倫。

It is most beautiful.

它是最美麗的。

No one asked you!

沒有人問你!

Are you happy now, Karen?

你現在高興嗎，卡倫？

No, I'm not! I was just trying to make myself pretty for you.

不，我沒有!我只是想為你把自己變漂亮。

But do you even care?

但你是否在乎呢？

All you ever do is make stupid schemes about stupid sandwiches!

你所做的一切就是為愚蠢的三明治做愚蠢的計劃!

Stupid?

愚蠢嗎？

Your new screen saver is stupid.

你的新螢幕保護程序很愚蠢。

And it makes your processor look fat!

而且它使你的處理器看起來很胖!

What?

什麼？

Ooh!

哦!

Okay, let's all calm down before you say something you'll regret!

好了，在你說出你會後悔的話之前，讓我們都冷靜下來吧!

You know what? No one talks to me like that.

你知道嗎？沒有人這樣跟我說話。

Get out!

出去！

I will not get out!

我不會出去的!

This is my restaurant, and no one can make me...

這是我的餐廳，沒有人可以讓我...

leave!

離開！

Ow!

嗷!

Karen, baby.

卡倫，寶貝。