[sizzling]

SpongeBob, order up.

Two salads.

Never heard of it. I got to stay hip.

I don't want to end up like silly old Squidward.

But what in the name of Davy Jones's locker

is a salad?

Here you go, two salads.

Ew, gross. Those aren't salads.

Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.

But, that leaves just lettuce and tomato.

Exactly.

All right. Okay, no buns.

That's hip. No patties. Happening.

Oh, yeah, that's definitely the coolest meal I ever saw.

That is so cool.

Two salads.

I was at the Krusty Krab

to grab a light snack between first and second lunch.

Order up, oh valued customer.

Uh, finally. Sustenance for my starving stomach.

I hope it's perfect.

[SpongeBob gasping] Huh?

It's not perfect! It's too greasy.

[groaning] Hmm.

And this fry isn't greasy enough!

Try as I might,

SpongeBob would not let me consume a single calorie.

I tried to take a sip of soda to slake my thirst.

[gasping]

Not fizzy enough!

I'm thinking about having a Krabby Patty.

One Krabby Patty.

But... I'm wondering if that might be too predictable.

Then what do you want?

I don't know.

I'm not feeling inspired at the moment.

Hi, ya, Patrick.

Ordering up a delicious Krabby Patty?

Maybe. I don't know. I'm in a creative slump.

Oh, Patrick, that's terrible.

Just order already.

Okay, I want new ideas to satisfy

a public hunger for my goodly goods.

Off the menu! Choose something off the menu!

We don't serve artistic advice here.

Then why is it on the menu?

Huh? What?

Get back to work, Squidward.

In case you haven't noticed, this is not an artist hat.

[panting]

Oh. You can borrow mine.

Beautiful.

Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Patrick,

our artistic consultant will be right with you.

This is Mr. Tentacles. He'll be handling

all your artistic advice needs.

Mm hmm.

He wants one of everything.

Then we'll give him a smorgasbord.

The future of the Krusty Krab is at stake.

Try the Crunchy Kelp Dog, sir.

The Buttered Barnacles are a touch of heaven.

The Powdered Driftwood is exquisite.

- Fresh Sludge Pudding? - More Diet Red Tide?

- Some Fried Flotsam? - Please, gentlemen!

Leave me to finish my work in peace.

[chirping]

[music playing]

[music playing]

What the?

[audience booing]

I'm losing money on this deal.

[audience booing] What gives?

It's worth every penny.

[audience booing]

You, bottom feeders!

You don't even know talent!

No talent! No talent! No talent! No talent!

We have a customer.

I'll have me a Rusty on rye, please.

Charming colloquialism.

But let's try something that's actually on the menu.

Stop giving me the runaround, city boy.

I want a Rusty on rye and nothing less.

Just leave it to me, oh, rusty one.

Order up. Here's your number nine, sir.

I can't wait to see the look on our customer's face.

[doorbell ringing]

Yeah?

Congratulations, sir. Your Krabby Patty pizza is here.

Wow. Thanks. I've been dying for one of these.

Where's my drink?

What drink?

My drink. My diet Dr. Kelp.

Don't tell me you forgot my drink!

But... you didn't order any--

How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?!

[whistling]

[groaning]

From our menu tonight, might I recommend

the Krabby Newberg?

We take the finest cuts of aged, imported kelp,

stuff them with herbs from our garden,

wrap them in parchment with our award-winning shallot tapenade,

slow-roast them for six hours

in our wood-fired, clay-filled oven, or kiva,

and serve them with a garnish of wilted coral

on a mahogany plank.

Mm. This is fantastic.

Thank you, sir.

Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.

They do look delicious.

Yes.

Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition.

Here's your foot long, sir.

Thanks. 12 inches of deliciousness.

Yeah. You know what gives 'em that added flavor?

No, what?

Nose, hairs and recycled dental floss.

SpongeBob, what are you doing?

We have got to get rid of these wieners

and bring back the Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this,

but count me in.

Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir.

May I help you?

Yes, please.

I'd like an order of Chili Coral Bits.

You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty?

No, thank you. Will this cover it?

Uh, sure. Here you go.

Good day.

Bubble Buddy's thirsty.

How about a glass of our finest shampoo?

[laughing]

Sounds great.

Here's your hair care product, sir.

Uh, Bubble Buddy likes bendy straws.

Huh? What's that? Bubble Buddy says it tastes funny.

What do you think?

Mr. Krabs!

Think of the customer.

Welcome to the House of Misery. May I take your order?

Yes, I would like two double fried Kelp Fritters.

three Krusty Krab Cream Filled Corals

and four Triple Fatty Krabby Patties.

Is that too much?

That depends.

- On what? - How long do you want to live?

Ha!

Mm. [laughing]

[shrieking]

What do you like better:

the Coral Bits or the Nacho Oyster Skins?

I like neither. Can I take your order?

Well, how about the Barnacle Rings,

are they any good?

No. What will you have?

Well, uh, what's your vote on the Kelp--

Sir, let's just get this out of the way.

I hate everything on the menu!

Now what do you want?

Pss. Try the Coral Bits.

Uh, I'll try the Coral Bits.