[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Forget the Chum Bucket, this is personal.

忘了海棉桶吧，這是個人的事。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

No! My name's not Rick!

不！我的名字不叫瑞克！

I don't like you.

我不喜歡你。

I don't like you more.

我不喜歡你了。

I never liked you!

我從來沒有喜歡過你!

I a thousand times never liked you!

我一千次都不喜歡你!

- Pink! - Yellow!

- 粉紅！粉紅！粉紅- 黃色！

♪ Squidward, is my best friend In the world ♪

章魚哥，是我世界上最好的朋友

♪ Squidward is my best friend In the sea ♪

章魚哥是我在海里最好的朋友

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

♪ Squidward ♪

魷魚達人 ♪ Squidward ♪

♪ Loves Patrick More than SpongeBob ♪

*愛帕特里克勝過海綿寶寶* *Loves Patrick More than SpongeBob*

Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer!

帕特里克是一個骯髒的、發臭的、腐爛的偷盜朋友的人！他是一個很聰明的人。

Um, I can fix this.

嗯，我可以解決這個問題。

[growling]

[咆哮聲]

So, uh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me!

那麼，呃，明天見，章魚哥！給我打電話！

Yuck. That was disgusting.

噁心。這很令人厭惡。

Feel like I need to scrub myself.

感覺我需要擦洗一下自己。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for you.

嘿，夥計。我為你預熱了一下。

Patrick, get out! And put some clothes on.

帕特里克，滾出去！並穿上衣服。

What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy?

怎麼了，章魚哥，老夥計？

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

Oh, ho, ho, so this is what I find, huh?

哦，嗬，嗬，這就是我找到的東西，嗯？

My best friend and my ex best friend

我最好的朋友和我以前最好的朋友

and... rubber bath toys!

還有......橡膠浴盆玩具!

Oh, yeah, well he was my friend first!

哦，是的，他首先是我的朋友！他是我的朋友。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

This can't be happening to me!

這不可能發生在我身上!

I mean, look at the way he's dressed.

我是說，看看他的穿著。

Only somebody with holes drilled in their head

只有腦子裡鑽了洞的人

would wear that stuff. And how about this shape?

會穿這種東西。那麼這個形狀呢？

I mean, I've heard of barrel chested

我的意思是，我聽說過木桶胸的人

but never box chested.

但從未有箱型胸脯。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Hey, SpongeBob,

嘿，海綿寶寶。

do you have any mascara I could borrow?

你有什麼睫毛膏可以借給我嗎？

[chuckles] The boy wears makeup?

[笑]這孩子會化妝？

What a card.

真是一張好牌。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Hey, Patrick! Patrick!

嘿，帕特里克！帕特里克！

Aw, he said my name.

哦，他說了我的名字。

Wow. How'd you train him to do that?

哇。你是怎麼訓練他做這個的？

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Ow! He bit me.

嗷！他咬了我。

Patrick, meet me in the kitchen.

帕特里克，在廚房見我。

Oh, I guess the dummy wants to have a private conversation.

哦，我猜這個傻瓜想進行私人談話。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

A dumb one.

一個愚蠢的人。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

So, what's on your mind?

那麼，你在想什麼呢？

No, wait. I already know the answer.

不，等等。我已經知道答案了。

Nothing. [laughing]

沒有什麼。[笑聲]

See? That's funny. Cause you're dumb.

看到了嗎？這很有趣。因為你是啞巴。

Patrick, could you let up on the insults

帕特里克，你能不能別再侮辱人了？

just a little bit?

只是一點點？

Oh, were those too complicated for ya?

哦，這些對你來說太複雜了嗎？

I'll try dumbing them down a bit.

我會試著把它們弄得更笨一點。

Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb.

帕特里克，我有種感覺，你認為我真的是個啞巴。

That's just what I'd expect you to say.

這正是我所期望的你所說的。

Dumb people are always blissfully unaware

愚蠢的人總是渾然不覺

of how dumb they really are.

他們真的有多蠢。

Patrick Star, we need to talk.

帕特里克-斯塔，我們需要談談。

Just one more minute, I gotta--

再等一分鐘，我得...

Don't "One more minute" me, Mr. Man.

不要 "再給我一分鐘"，男人先生。

Hey, I'm missing the coconut.

嘿，我在想念椰子。

You haven't been helping at all with Junior!

你對小詹姆斯一點幫助都沒有!

We made a commitment and you're not doing your share.

我們做出了承諾，而你卻沒有盡到你的責任。

You never do anything.

你從未做過任何事情。

I changed his diaper.

我給他換了尿布。

Yeah, once.

是的，一次。

He's only this big,

他只有這麼大。

how many diapers could he possibly use?

他能用多少個尿布？

Hmm?

嗯？

Oh, that's not so much.

哦，那就不多說了。

Hmm?

嗯？

So?

那麼？

Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?!

嗯？呣？嗯？

I had no idea. What kind of father am I?!

我不知道。我是什麼樣的父親啊！？

I'll make it up to you, buddy. I promise.

我會補償你的，夥計。我保證。

So, what's the plan for today?

那麼，今天的計劃是什麼？

No more fooling around.

不要再胡鬧了。

From now on, I'm super dad.

從現在開始，我是超級爸爸。

I'll work straight through lunch so I can get home on time.

我將直接工作到午飯時間，這樣我就可以按時回家了。

So make sure you save a big, old, stinky diaper

是以，請確保你保存一個大的、舊的、臭的尿布

for me to change

為我改變

and you can take the night off, pal.

而且你可以在晚上休息，夥計。

Great, so I'll see you at six o'clock.

很好，那麼我將在六點見你。

- Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

- 六點。- 六點。

- Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

- 六點。- 六點。

- Six o'clock. - Six o'clock.

- 六點。- 六點。

Six o'clock.

六點。

[giggling]

[咯咯笑]

Oh, boy, that was some party.

哦，孩子，那是一些聚會。

Oh, hey, SpongeBob. Hey Junior.

哦，嘿，海綿寶寶。嘿，小傢伙。

What? What?

什麼？什麼？

Oh, nothing.

哦，沒什麼。

Oh, what a relief.

哦，真是鬆了一口氣。

For a second, I thought you were mad at me.

有那麼一瞬間，我以為你是在生我的氣。

Do you remember what you said to me this morning?

你還記得你今天早上對我說的話嗎？

Something about root beer, right?

關於根啤酒的事情，對嗎？

No.

沒有。

Wait, wait, let me guess. I give up.

等等，等等，讓我猜猜。我放棄了。

Does "You can take the night off, pal"

是否 "你今晚可以休息了，夥計"

ring a bell?!

想起來了嗎？

I don't need this.

我不需要這個。

What? Where do you think you're going?

什麼？你認為你要去哪裡？

I'm going back to work!

我要回去工作了!

Work?!

工作？

[laughing]

[笑聲]

He got hit in the head with two coconuts.

他的頭部被兩個椰子擊中。

So, this is work?

那麼，這就是工作？

You know, it's not as easy as it looks.

你知道，這並不像它看起來那麼容易。

Sometimes I got to move the antenna.

有時我得移動天線。

Sometimes I lose the remote

有時我把遙控器弄丟了

and sometimes my butt itches real bad.

有時我的屁股癢得很厲害。

Oh, you poor, poor thing.

哦，你這個可憐的傢伙。

By the way, you forgot your briefcase!

順便說一句，你忘了你的公文包了!

Oh, so this is the thanks I get for working overtime.

哦，這就是我加班得到的感謝。

Overtime?!

加班？

Yeah overtime!

是的加班!

[arguing]

[爭論]

How ya like me now?

你現在喜歡我嗎？

I like you this much.

我就這麼喜歡你。

Whoa!

哇!

Feel me.

感受我。

Whoa! Oh!

哇!哦!

Patrick?

帕特里克?

Patrick! Are you okay?!

帕特里克！你還好嗎？

Question is... will you be?

問題是...你會嗎？

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[laughing]

[笑聲]

No fair!

不公平!

All fair in love and war, my friend/enemy.

在愛情和戰爭中都是公平的，我的朋友/敵人。

Or should I say, my friendenemy.

或者我應該說，我的朋友-敵人。

Let's have some real fun.

讓我們有一些真正的樂趣。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

What was that?

那是什麼？

Come on. We've got to get out of here.

來吧。我們得離開這裡。

Grab the children!

抓住孩子們!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game.

哦，是嗎？兩個人可以在這個遊戲中玩。

Jumping jellyfish! Oh!

跳躍的水母!哦!

[laughing]

[笑聲]

I wasn't gonna do this, but you've left me no choice.

我本來不想這麼做，但你讓我別無選擇。

[gasping]

[喘息聲]

Let's beat it, dude.

讓我們打敗它吧，夥計。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

Huh?

嗯？

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

[groaning]

[呻吟聲]

What happened?

發生了什麼事？

I'll tell you what happened, Patrick.

我會告訴你發生了什麼，帕特里克。

I got carried away.

我被衝昏了頭腦。

Me too.

我也是。

Good night, SpongeBob.

晚安，海綿寶寶。

Goodnight, rock mate.

晚安，搖滾夥伴。

[meowing]

[喵喵]

Good night, Gary.

晚安，加里。

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[Patrick snoring]

[帕特里克打鼾]

Oh, no. What the?

哦，不。怎麼了？

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[Patrick laughing]

[帕特里克笑著說]

[Patrick snoring]

[帕特里克打鼾]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[snoring]

[鼾聲]

[mumbling]

[喃喃自語]

Spiders! Spiders!

蜘蛛!蜘蛛！

No, Patrick, no! Patrick, no! Watch out!

不，帕特里克，不！帕特里克，不！小心點！

Oh! Stop! It's me!

哦，停，是我。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Spiders! Spiders! Spiders!

蜘蛛!蜘蛛！蜘蛛！

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

嗷!嗷!嗷!嗷！嗷！嗷!

Patrick, you know how sometimes you plan something special

帕特里克，你知道有時你會計劃一些特別的事情

and things just don't work out?

而事情就是不成功？

No. No.

不，不。

Holy mackerel, is it hot up here or what?

神聖的鯖魚，這裡是熱還是什麼？

No! Stop Patrick!

不，阻止帕特里克！

Valentine! Valentine! Valentine! Valentine!

瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁！瓦倫丁

Patrick, don't!

帕特里克，不要！

Patrick, here it is!

帕特里克，在這裡！

What's that?

那是什麼？

A handshake, a friendly handshake.

握手，友好的握手。

A handshake? That's the big gift?

握手？這就是大禮？

You got me a handshake?

你能和我握手嗎？

A friendly handshake. Happy Valentine's Day.

一個友好的握手。情人節快樂。

[laughing]

[笑聲]

[music playing]

[音樂響起]

[music playing]

[音樂響起]

[music playing]

[音樂響起]

[music playing]

[音樂響起]

[sighing]

[嘆氣]

I've been thinking.

我一直在想。

At first, a handshake doesn't seem like much,

起初，握手似乎並不重要。

but really, it's the thought that counts.

但實際上，思想才是最重要的。

SpongeBob, I just wanted to thank you

海綿寶寶，我只是想感謝你

for this box of chocolates.

為這盒巧克力。

Eh, no problem, Fran.

呃，沒問題，弗蘭。

I mean, even though I was expecting more...

我的意思是，儘管我期待著更多...

Thanks for the roses, SpongeBob. Happy Valentine's Day.

謝謝你的玫瑰花，海綿寶寶。情人節快樂。

You too, Dave.

你也是，戴夫。

...and not that it matters

......並不重要

that we've been friends for so long...

我們已經做了這麼久的朋友...

Hey, SpongeBob. Thanks for the bike.

嘿，海綿寶寶。謝謝你的自行車。

Can you believe this guy? I just met him this morning.

你能相信這個人嗎？我今天早上才見到他。

So, as I was saying...

所以，正如我所說的...

Excuse me, do you guys have the time?

對不起，你們有時間嗎？

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Patrick needs love too!

帕特里克也需要愛!

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Patrick, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

帕特里克，你在想我在想什麼嗎？

Yep.

是的。

It's beautiful.

它很美。

SpongeBob.

海綿寶寶。

I waited so long.

我等了這麼久。

- SpongeBob? - And you broke it.

- 海綿寶寶？- 而你卻打破了它。

You okay, buddy?

你還好嗎，夥計？

Yes. Yes, I'm okay.

是的，是的，我很好。

[sighing]

[嘆氣]

Oh, for a second--

哦，一秒鐘 --

You! You ruined my free toy!

你！你毀了我的免費玩具！

I'm sorry. Maybe if you just-

我很抱歉。也許如果你只是...

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[babbling]

[胡言亂語]

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

[whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat]

[吹著口哨劃，劃，劃你的船]

Phew.

籲。

[laughing] Dropped my spatula.

[笑] 掉了我的鏟子。

Uh, me too.

呃，我也是。

[sizzling]

[噝噝聲]

Ow!

嗷!

Aha! You're copying me!

啊哈，你在抄襲我。

- Yes. - Why are you doing that?

- 是的 你為什麼要這樣做？

So I can win an award like you.

這樣我就能像你一樣獲獎了。

Well, it's annoying, so stop it!

好吧，這很煩人，所以不要再這樣了!

Stop it.

停止吧。

- Say, you're good. - Thanks.

- 說，你很好。- 謝謝。

[both] Ha! Darn.

[兩者]哈!糟了。

Mary had a little lamb,

馬利亞有一隻小羊羔。

whose fleece was white as pickled fish lips!

其絨毛白得像醃製的魚脣!

Sea weevil. Gorgy smorgy.

海蝸牛。戈爾吉-斯莫爾吉。

[SpongeBob] At least I'm safe inside my mind.

[海綿寶寶]至少我在我的思想裡是安全的。

[Patrick] At least I'm safe inside my mind.

[帕特里克]至少我在我的頭腦中是安全的。

[screaming]

[尖叫聲]

Hey, buddy, funny stuff in there.

嘿，夥計，那裡的東西很有趣。

Funny stuff.

有趣的東西。

There is nothing funny about what you did in there,

你在那裡做的事情沒有任何好笑的地方。

Patrick! You got me in trouble! You got me moved

帕特里克！你讓我陷入困境！你讓我搬家了

to the back of the room!

到房間後面去!

You cost me one of my good noodle stars!

你讓我失去了一個好的麵條明星！？

Who cares about a stupid star?

誰在乎一個愚蠢的明星？

Gee, Patrick, it seems like you would care a lot

天啊，帕特里克，看起來你會非常關心

about stupid stars, considering you are one.

關於愚蠢的明星，考慮到你是一個。

I'll deal with you after class.

下課後我再跟你算賬。

It is after class!

這是在下課後!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

戰鬥!打！打！打！打打！打！打！打打！打！打！打打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打！打

Fight! Fight!

戰鬥!戰鬥!

I don't see anyone fighting, do you?

我沒有看到有人打架，你呢？

They're talking about us, we're fighting!

他們在談論我們，我們在戰鬥！

Well, don't mind if I do.

好吧，如果我這樣做，請不要介意。

Fight! Fight! Fight.

戰鬥!打！打！打戰鬥吧。

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

This is embarrassing.

這很令人尷尬。

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

Look what I've got.

看看我得到了什麼。

Rectangles!

矩形!

Not just any rectangles, candy bars.

不是普通的長方形，是糖果棒。

Oh.

哦。

All we have to do is make 'em last

我們所要做的就是讓它們持續下去

the rest of our lives.

我們的餘生。

Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now.

謝謝，海綿寶寶。我想我現在要吃它了。

[sighing]

[嘆氣]

I think I'll eat it now.

我想我現在要吃它了。

Ow!

嗷!