- YOU KNOW WHAT I DID IN MY HOTEL ROOM?

你知道我在我在旅館房間時都做些什麼事嗎？

- TELL ME. - I JUMPED BED TO BED.

告訴我。 我從一個床跳到另一張床

THERE WAS, LIKE, THIS ONE GUY WHO FILMED ME...

就像有一個人在拍攝我

- YEAH?

恩？

- IN SLOW-MOTION JUMPING ONTO THE OTHER BED,

把我從一個床跳到另一個床拍成慢動作

DOING A BARREL ROLL.

當作滾桶

- YEAH. - BARREL ROLL!

耶！滾桶！

- YEAH.

是啊

- AND THEY FILMED ME JUMPING ON THE BED,

然後他們拍攝我在床上一直跳

JUST SLAMMING DOWN ON THE BED.

我"趴"地倒在床上

- WOW. YOU JUST REALLY LOVE--

哇！你真的很愛

YOU JUST LOVE LIFE, DON'T YOU?

你真的很愛你的生活，對吧？

- YEAH, AND BY THE WAY, I WANT ALL OF YOU

對啊！阿還有！我要

TO JUMP ONTO BEDS.

跳到床上

- YEAH.

耶！

WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IN HOTEL ROOMS.

好的，那是你在飯店房間做的事情

I THINK EVERYBODY HERE GETS IN A HOTEL ROOM,

我想如果在場的大家現在進到一間飯店的房間

AND YOU JUMP ON BEDS, DON'T YOU?

你就會跳到上床，對吧！

[cheers and applause]

(歡呼與鼓掌)

EVERYBODY DOES.

每個人都這樣做！

- YEAH, BUT MY GRANDPA, HE DOESN'T LIKE ME

對阿！但我爺爺他不喜歡我

JUMPING FROM BED TO BED.

從一張床上跳到另一張床上

THIS IS WHY I WOULD JUMP FROM THIS BED

這就是為什麼我想要從這張床上跳到

TO THE OTHER BED.

另一張床上

- THAT'S PRETTY FAR. - YEAH, BUT I MADE IT.

那真的很遠！耶！我辦到了！

I CAN'T MAKE IT. I FALL.

我不能做到！我掉下來了

- WOW. - I GO LIKE...

哇！我就像是...

[shouting]

(大聲叫)

- WOW.

哇！

- AND THEN I FALL, LIKE-- - YEAH.

然後我掉落下來了，就像....耶！'

SO WHEN YOU'RE DOING THIS,

所以當你在做這樣的事情時

IS YOUR GRANDPA OPENING THE MINI BAR,

你爺爺是不是正在小酒吧

OR WHAT'S HAPPENING?

或是在做其他事情

- IT'S MY MOM'S BOYFRIEND. HE OPENED--

那是我媽的男朋友。他開的

[laughter and applause]

(笑聲和鼓掌)

THIS GUY, GRANDPA, RIGHT HERE...

這個人，我爺爺，正在...

- YEAH.

耶！

NOW WE'RE GETTING TO THE GOOD STUFF.

現在我們要來看一些好康

- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE TO PAY.

我不知道你需不需要付錢

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVE TO PAY TO GET INTO THE BAR,

我不知道你進酒吧需不需要付錢

BUT IT'S KIND OF A BAR.

但這就像是一間酒吧

SO YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR A DRINK.

所以你要喝酒得付錢

- YUP. - I MEAN--

對呀!我的意思是

I MEAN, THERE'S SO MANY-- I HAVE--HE HAS SO MANY.

我的意思是，那裏有很多...我有...他有很多!

- YEAH, HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT DINOSAURS.

好的，我有個關於恐龍的問題

I HEARD YOU LIKE DINOSAURS A LOT, RIGHT?

聽說你很喜歡恐龍對吧

- YEAH, I DO. - OKAY.

對阿我很喜歡。好的

WHAT KIND OF DINOSAURS DO YOU LIKE?

哪一種恐龍你最喜歡？

- CROCODON. - I NEVER HEARD OF THAT ONE.

CROCODON. 我從來沒有聽過這種恐龍

- WELL, HE-- HE WASN'T ACTUALLY

他其實不是...

JUST THIS NORMAL MEAT-EATING DINOSAUR.

就是普通的肉食性恐龍

- NOW, THAT'S YOU.

現在，那是你(指螢幕)

- NO, I'M NOT THE CROCODON.

不，我不是CROCODON.

- NO? - CROCODON IS RED.

不是嗎？ CROCODON是紅色的

HE HAS GREEN EYES,

他有綠色的眼睛

AND HE CAMOUFLAGED THEM TO THE SIGHT OF BLOOD EYES.

他可以把綠眼睛變成紅眼睛當作偽裝

- OH, OH.

喔！喔！

WHAT IF I TOLD YOU WE HAD A DINOSAUR HERE TODAY?

如果我告訴你我們今天現場有一隻恐龍你會如何反應？

- THAT'S ME.

噢那就是我啊！

- NO. NO, IT'S NOT YOU.

不，不是你

IT'S A DINOSAUR THAT CAME TO SAY HELLO TO YOU.

這裡有一隻恐龍來跟你打招呼

DO YOU WANT TO MEET IT? - YUP.

你想要看看牠嗎

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S-- IS THE DINOSAUR HERE?

好的，讓我們....那隻恐龍在這嗎?

IT'S A FRIENDLY DINOSAUR TOO. I THINK YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.

這是一隻很親切的恐龍，我想你應該會喜歡牠

LOOK.

看。

- WHOA!

哇！

WHOA!

哇嗚！

[cheers and applause]

（歡呼與鼓掌）

WHOA!

哇嗚！

[dinosaur squeaking]

（恐龍叫）

- OKAY.

好的

- I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S A GUY IN A COSTUME.

我蠻確定是有一個人在恐龍的戲服裡頭

- OH, IS THAT A FURRY T REX?

噢，這是一隻毛茸茸的暴龍嗎

YOU KNOW, WITH THE TWO CLAWS.

你知道，（暴龍）有兩隻爪子

- RIGHT. - AND THE SHORT ARMS.

對的。還有短手臂

- RIGHT, YEAH.

沒錯

HE'S ANGRY. NOW YOU'VE MADE HIM MAD.

牠現在生氣了！我想你讓牠生氣了！

LISTEN, GUESS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO.

猜你現在剛做什麼

YOU'RE GONNA GET TO GO SEE "WALKING WITH DINOSAURS,

你現在可以去看“遛恐龍--

THE ARENA SPECTACULAR."

劇場驚奇”（一個show)

YOU'RE GONNA GET VIP TICKETS

你可以拿到VIP票卷

AND GO SEE ALL THE DINOSAURS.

然後觀賞所有的恐龍

- OH, YEAH!

噢好耶！

- AND BECAUSE YOUR GRANDPA LIKES TO WATCH THE NEWS

然後因為你爺爺喜歡看新聞

FOR THE POWERBALL,

看美國樂透powerball

EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE AND YOUR GRANDPA

所有在場的觀眾包括你爺爺

IS GOING HOME WITH POWERBALL TICKETS.

都可以拿強力球（powerball)的現場票

- NO, IT'S A REAL DINOSAUR.

不，這是一隻真的恐龍

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK-- - I CAN SEE HIM!

我們很快就回來，我可以看到他

I CAN SEE--

我可以看...