Jessica Bills here.

傑西卡-比爾在這裡。

Big fan, Big fan of Jessica Bill, Did you watch our new show?

大粉絲，傑西卡-比爾的大粉絲，你看了我們的新節目嗎？

Candy?

糖果？

So they're spreading it out across the week.

所以他們把它分散到整個星期。

It's like, it's like an event.

這就像，這就像一個事件。

It'll be every night on hulu.

每天晚上都會在hulu上播出。

Um, and like for me, I'll watch any show that's called Candy.

嗯，對我來說，只要是叫《糖果》的節目我都會看。

Yeah.

是的。

So it took me a minute to realize that it isn't about candy.

所以我花了一分鐘才意識到，這不是關於糖果。

It's disappointing at first and then you're like, oh, I know it's still good.

一開始很失望，然後你會覺得，哦，我知道它還是不錯的。

Yeah, but it's true.

是的，但這是事實。

You can't make a show in America about candy because all of the candy here sucks.

你不能在美國做一個關於糖果的節目，因為這裡所有的糖果都很糟糕。

Right?

對嗎？

That's your reason.

這就是你的理由。

You know, I love, you know, I love candy in the UK.

你知道，我喜歡，你知道，我喜歡英國的糖果。

I celebrate it.

我慶祝它。

It's fantastic.

這真是太棒了。

We still have good candy disagree.

我們仍然有好的糖果不同意。

It's wonderful.

這很美妙。

I disagree.

我不同意。

It's fantastic.

這真是太棒了。

And then name me, What's that?

然後給我命名，那是什麼？

Gonna give me five good ones, skittles.

要給我五個好的，小餅乾。

Kitkat Butterfinger.

基特卡奶油手指。

Right, okay, everybody calm down snickers.

對了，好了，大家都冷靜下來偷笑吧。

This was this was this was a conversation with me and just start throwing out a Butterfinger already.

這是這是這是與我的對話，只是開始扔出一個奶油手指了。

I'll come to you.

我會去找你。

No, I believe a kit kat is it.

不，我相信kit kat就是這樣。

Can I talk for a minute?

我可以談一下嗎？

I believe a kit kat is an exceptional treat.

我相信kit kat是一種特殊的待遇。

Okay.

好的。

Except except here in America, the chocolate sucks.

除了在美國這裡，巧克力很糟糕。

Whereas in the UK, it's exceptional.

而在英國，這是一個例外。

Thank you.

謝謝你。

It's it's crazy that you're from England, but still sounds like you studied abroad there.

你來自英國，但聽起來你還是在那裡留學，這太瘋狂了。

What do you mean?

你是什麼意思？

What do you mean?

你是什麼意思？

It's just it's just a very studied abroad in England?

只是它只是在英國的一個非常研究的海外？

Oh, you can't get good candy here in the States, you know?

哦，你在美國買不到好的糖果，你知道嗎？

And they're from Tucson?

他們來自圖森？

Yeah, I stand.

是的，我站著。

I stand by.

我站在旁邊。

Maybe we would have had more time to work on candy if we're not saving your butts in World War Two, The big one.

如果我們不在第二次世界大戰中拯救你們的屁股，也許我們會有更多時間來研究糖果。

I get it.

我明白了。

You're right.

你是對的。

You're absolutely right.

你說得很對。

You're absolutely right.

你說得很對。

And given the choice, I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I'll take you saving us, you know, in World War Two, if you will hold your hands up and go, it's because of that.

如果有選擇的話，我會說，是的，是的，我會選擇你拯救我們，你知道，在第二次世界大戰中，如果你願意舉起你的手，去，那是因為這個。

Our candy sucks.

我們的糖果很糟糕。

Look, we can do this all day.

聽著，我們可以一整天都這樣做。

We can sit around basking and let's be honest, what is witty repartee, but we can't, we have work to do.

我們可以坐在那裡晒太陽，說實話，什麼是詼諧的對答，但我們不能，我們有工作要做。

We have a duty to America and that's to give them the news.

我們對美國有責任，那就是向他們提供新聞。

Yes.

是的。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

Right.

對。

Yeah.

是的。

Okay.

好的。

Good evening.

晚上好。

Uh, gasoline prices have hit yet another all time high.

呃，汽油價格又創下了歷史新高。

The national average price for a gallon of gas is now $4.40.

全國一加侖汽油的平均價格現在是4.40美元。

Or as we in Los Angeles call that the good old days, this actually won't affect me.

或者像我們洛杉磯人所說的那樣，過去的好日子，這實際上不會影響我。

This doesn't affect me.

這並不影響我。

If you know, I don't have anyone.

如果你知道，我沒有任何人。

I don't know if you've noticed this.

我不知道你是否注意到這一點。

I've started, um, started riding a horse to work.

我已經開始，嗯，開始騎馬上班了。

That's right.

這就對了。

Absolutely love it.

絕對喜歡它。

You have to admit the timing is pretty good.

你不得不承認，這個時機是相當好的。

Right?

對嗎？

As the pandemic restrictions starting to ease up.

由於大流行病的限制開始緩和。

I love this.

我喜歡這個。

We've got a brand new excuse for not going out.

我們有了一個全新的不出門的藉口。

It's brilliant.

這很精彩。

I'd love to, I'd love to, I'd love to go.

我很想去，我很想去，我很想去。

You just all the way across town and at these prices, you know, and here's some news from right here in southern California?

你只是一路穿過城市，以這些價格，你知道，這裡有一些來自南加州的消息？

Los Angeles residents are now being asked to help with the local water shortage by cutting their shower time by four minutes.

現在，洛杉磯居民被要求將他們的淋浴時間縮短4分鐘，以幫助解決當地的水荒。

Yeah shouldn't be a problem.

是的，應該不會有問題。

I know every time I'm in the shower I time it to the minute.

我知道每次我在洗澡的時候都會把時間精確到分鐘。

Every time just cut it by foot.

每次都是用腳切。

How long are people spending In the shower?

人們在淋浴時要花多長時間？

They say average it's 10 minutes.

他們說平均是10分鐘。

Stop.

停止。

Yeah.

是的。

No.

沒有。

Yes you're joking me.

是的，你在跟我開玩笑。

Me no joke.

我不是開玩笑。

What?

什麼？

That's what they say.

這就是他們所說的。

I couldn't believe it and if that's the average that means there's people who are in there for like 20 minutes probably.

我簡直不敢相信，如果這是平均數，那就意味著有的人可能在裡面呆了20分鐘。

Oh my God I'm in and out.

哦，我的上帝，我進退兩難。

I think in a solid three or four if I cut four minutes off my shower I'm going to be in the shower for negative three minutes.

我想，如果我把洗澡的時間縮短四分鐘，那麼在實實在在的三或四分鐘內，我將會在洗澡時負三分鐘。

Yeah you're absolutely right.

是的，你說得很對。

I don't, how long do you?

我不知道，你有多長時間？

I bet crabs a long shower I can just see it.

我打賭螃蟹會洗個長澡，我可以看到它。

I bet you get in there.

我打賭你一定能進去。

I bet you lather up.

我敢打賭，你一定是洗得很乾淨。

Oh man you better get a solid lava going.

哦，夥計，你最好弄個固體熔岩來。

There's a real system about 25 minutes.

有一個真正的系統，大約25分鐘。

No you don't.

不，你不知道。

No you don't not that long.

不，你不需要那麼長的時間。

Not that long but how long?

不是那麼長，但有多長？

I bet you're in there?

我打賭你在裡面？

A solid 10.

一個堅實的10分。

I bet you do every toe just a bit of your O.

我敢打賭，你做的每一個腳趾只是你的O的一點。

C.

C.

D.

D.

Coming out.

出來了。

Yeah probably like 10 to 12.

是的，大概有10到12個。

Kind of a carwash approach top down willie?

有點像洗車的方法，從上到下的威利？

How long are you showering?

你要洗多長時間的澡？

What's that?

那是什麼？

What's that?

那是什麼？

What's that?

那是什麼？

How long is your shower?

你的淋浴時間有多長？

So if I don't wash my hair it's 10 minutes.

是以，如果我不洗頭，那就是10分鐘。

If I wash my hair it's 15 stop.

如果我洗頭，那就是15個站。

What are you doing for 10?

你在做什麼10？

What do you mean your three minute shower is insane.

你的三分鐘淋浴是什麼意思，是瘋了。

That means you're not showering.

這意味著你沒有洗澡。

Come on.

來吧。

How long does it take?

這需要多長時間？

How long does it?

它有多長？

I'm trying to I'm trying to think what I'm doing there For 10 minutes but you pride yourself on not using soap or shampoo, shampoo shampoo.

我正在努力......我正在努力思考我在那裡做什麼......10分鐘，但你為自己不使用肥皂或洗髮水、洗髮水而感到自豪。

So I don't wash my hair on his head.

所以我不在他頭上洗頭。

I don't wash my hair.

我不洗頭。

I wash it about every two months.

我大約每兩個月洗一次。

That's a true story.

這是個真實的故事。

That's true.

這倒是真的。

Yeah.

是的。

No that's not cool.

不，這並不酷。

You guys are dirty.

你們這些人真髒。

No we nasty.

不，我們很討厭。

I don't think we are not nasty.

我不認為我們是不討厭的。

Yeah we're nasty.

是的，我們很討厭。

Who here?

誰在這裡？

Who here was a show of hands when you shower are showering for over nine minutes.

當你洗澡時，誰在這裡舉手示意，你洗澡的時間超過9分鐘。

See you're the problem you were clean.

看，你就是那個問題，你是乾淨的。

That's the difference.

這就是區別。

Okay well we're just we're trying to we're trying to protect the planet Winnie so you know what there is no Planet B yeah I'll be ready for it don't you worry about it And everyone here about this according to new reports early on in his presidency.

好吧，我們只是我們正在努力，我們正在努力保護這個星球，溫尼，所以你知道嗎，沒有B星球，是的，我會準備好的，你不用擔心，這裡的每個人都是這樣的，根據新的報告，在他的總統任期早期。

Donald trump repeatedly asked national security aides if china had a secret quote hurricane gun to launch?

唐納德-特朗普多次詢問國家安全助理，中國是否有祕密報價颶風槍發射？

Manmade hurricanes at the United States?

在美國的人為颶風？

You hate to see it?

你討厭看到它？

You hate to see stories like this leak out and tarnish an otherwise impeccable record.

你不願意看到這樣的故事洩露出去，玷汙一個本來無可挑剔的記錄。

Mhm trump trump asked if china had a secret hurricane gun which is ridiculous if it were secret his aides wouldn't know about it.

Mhm trump特朗普問中國是否有祕密的颶風槍，這很可笑，如果是祕密的話，他的助手就不會知道。

Think it through.

仔細想想。

And I gotta tell you this an era has officially come to an end after nearly 22 years.

我得告訴你，在近22年後，這個時代已經正式結束了。

Apple is discontinuing production of the iPod.

蘋果公司正在停止生產iPod。

I hope apple can recover from this for any young people watching an ipod.

我希望蘋果公司能夠為任何觀看ipod的年輕人恢復正常。

An ipod is basically like a phone that can't phone anyone.

一個ipod基本上就像一個不能給任何人打電話的電話。

It only plays music but you have to buy that music first.

它只播放音樂，但你必須先購買這些音樂。

Okay, all you can use napster but not the napster they got now is a different napster that was illegal because it was stolen basically free Spotify.

好吧，所有你可以使用napster，但不是他們現在得到的napster是一個不同的napster，這是非法的，因為它被偷了基本上免費的Spotify。

So I can't believe how hard it is to describe but now that it's fully discontinued that means we're about three years away from gen z hipsters only listening to music on ipods.

所以我不相信這有多難描述，但現在它已經完全停產了，這意味著我們離Z世代的潮人只用ipod聽音樂還有三年左右的時間。

I can remember vividly the first time I saw an ipod rob Brydon rob Brydon showed me his ipod and I get blew my mind because I was stood there with a discman and a case logic that was like this big with 50 C.

我還清楚地記得，我第一次看到ipod的時候，Rob Brydon給我看了他的ipod，我被嚇了一跳，因為我站在那裡，拿著一個discman和一個箱子的邏輯，就像這麼大，有50C。

D.

D.

S in it.

S在裡面。

I couldn't believe it.

我簡直不敢相信。

I was going to wait.

我打算等待。

All of this is in there.

所有這些都在裡面。

So yeah.

所以，是的。

Yeah.

是的。

1000 songs.

1000首歌曲。

It's it's amazing.

它是它是驚人的。

It was amazing.

這很令人驚訝。

I had the weirdest stuff on my because when napster first came out and it was just like a free for all I downloaded like speeches.

我有最奇怪的東西在我的，因為當napster第一次出來，它只是像一個免費的，我下載像演講。

So I was like, you want to hear Stalin give a speech.

所以我當時想，你想聽斯大林的演講。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

I haven't, I never used napster napster never really sort of became a thing.

我沒有，我從未使用過Napster，Napster從未真正成為一種東西。

I'm sure it did for many people but not for me at home.

我相信對很多人來說是這樣的，但對在家的我來說不是。

But I did spend hours and hours and hours putting every Cd I owned on there, which was pointless because I would just listen to the same three all the time.

但我確實花了好幾個小時，把我擁有的每張CD都放在上面，這毫無意義，因為我只是一直在聽同樣的三張。

I was never listening to that.

我從來沒有聽過這個。

You know, 98 degrees only have three C.

你知道，98度只有三個C。

D.

D.

S.

S.

Yes.

是的。

I don't know what's got into you today, but you know, and I know it was O town and they had two albums.

我不知道你今天怎麼了，但你知道，我知道那是O城，他們有兩張專輯。

Mhm And they slapped thank you madam.

他們還打了耳光，謝謝你，女士。

And finally we absolutely had to show you this.

最後，我們絕對要給你看這個。

An order of fish and chips in the UK is going viral.

英國的一份魚和薯條的訂單正在進行病毒式傳播。

Why would an order of fish and chips go viral?

為什麼一份魚和薯條的訂單會成為病毒？

I hear you ask.

我聽到你問。

See if you can figure it out.

看看你是否能想出辦法。

Look at that, That's exactly what mine looks like.

看看這個，這正是我的樣子。

Including a bed of chips.

包括一床薯片。

It's true.

這是真的。

The fish and chips went viral luckily there's medicine for that.

炸魚和薯條走紅，幸運的是有藥可治。

Can we see the plate again?

我們能再看看這個盤子嗎？

I like that.

我喜歡這樣。

He really mixed it up.

他真的把它混合起來了。

He's small chips, medium sized cod circumcised.

他是小片，中等大小的鱈魚包皮。

That's the news.

這就是新聞。

We'll be back.

我們會回來的。

Yes.

是的。

Thank you.

謝謝你。