I'm excited for Haiti's Town.

我為海地之城感到興奮。

Have you seen it?

你見過嗎？

Have you seen the show?

你看過這個節目嗎？

And what I'm going to go you've got to see it in L.

而我要去的地方，你一定要在L市看到它。

A.

A.

It's so good.

它是如此的好。

It's so bright.

它是如此明亮。

It's a it's a brilliantly original musical.

這是一部出色的原創音樂劇。

What's your favorite musical?

你最喜歡的音樂劇是什麼？

Oh that's a good question.

哦，這是個好問題。

I think it might be the music man.

我想可能是音樂人的問題。

Really?

真的嗎？

I think that might be number one.

我想這可能是第一位的。

Really?

真的嗎？

Yeah look at that guy.

是的，看看那個傢伙。

Oh yeah wow I didn't see that coming sir.

哦，是啊，我沒有想到會這樣，先生。

He said music man you were I love musicals.

他說音樂人你是我喜歡的音樂劇。

I love musicals.

我喜歡音樂劇。

You've come to the right place babe.

你來對地方了，寶貝。

Well thank you for having that right now.

好吧，謝謝你現在有這個機會。

I just didn't expect a music man.

我只是沒有想到會有一個音樂人。

Yeah if you come here and you don't like music because I'll tell you what you got trouble.

是的，如果你來到這裡，你不喜歡音樂，因為我會告訴你，你有麻煩。

Yeah right here in tv City.

是的，就在tv市。

How have we not done that?

我們怎麼沒有做到這一點呢？

Oh my God how have we not had that?

哦，我的上帝，我們怎麼沒有這樣做呢？

I believe that on the table with a capital T.

我相信，在桌子上有一個大寫的T。

And that rhymes with P.

而這與P押韻。

And that stands for oh my God.

而這代表著哦，我的上帝。

Oh my God you watch I'll be here when do you reckon we'll do that bobby october sometime yes sometime in october lock it in, lock it in and we'll do it when Jackman's on next time Jackman's on James James I had a dream last night that you came with my family to a musical that the trump family.

哦，我的上帝，你看，我會在這裡，當你估計我們會做，鮑比十月的某個時候，是的，十月的某個時候，鎖定它，鎖定它，我們會做傑克曼的時候，下次傑克曼的時候，詹姆斯詹姆斯我昨晚做了一個夢，你和我的家人來到一個音樂劇，特朗普家庭。

Put on it all of the trumps.

把所有的王牌放在上面。

Including you Tiffany eric donald Jr marla Maples was there?

包括你蒂芙尼-艾瑞克-唐納德-小馬拉-梅普爾斯也在那裡？

Ah Melania Ivanka.

啊，梅拉尼婭-伊萬卡。

Ivana all of them were there and it was a christmas musical at mar a Lago And I was there with my family.

伊萬娜他們都在那裡，那是在Mar a Lago舉行的聖誕音樂劇，我和我的家人也在那裡。

Yeah, you were sitting there with us And then yeah, he came out like the big showstopper was Donald coming out like singing.

是的，你和我們一起坐在那裡，然後是的，他出來了，就像大的表演者是唐納德出來唱歌一樣。

Surely it's a new updated version of scrooge.

當然，這是一個新的更新版本的守財奴。

That's that's what I'd want to see.

這就是我想看到的。

The trump family put on if the trump family, we're going to do a musical and it was scrooge but he has to go back and relive all of the horrific things he did as President of the United States.

特朗普家族把如果特朗普家族，我們要做一個音樂劇，它是守財奴，但他必須回去重溫他作為美國總統所做的所有可怕的事情。

I'm in, I'm in for that show.

我參加，我參加那個節目。

Yes.

是的。

At the end he's like, yeah, nailed it.

最後他說，是的，成功了。

Got it.

明白了。

Hey, hey look we can't mess around.

嘿，嘿，看我們不能亂來。

We've got we've got we've we've got hard out.

我們已經有了我們已經有了我們我們已經有了硬出。

It's that time.

就是這個時候了。

It's time for the news lady on the front row.

現在是前排的新聞女士的時間。

We're like this.

我們是這樣的。

Yeah.

是的。

Are you some kind of gang, are you like the pink?

你們是什麼幫派嗎？你們是像粉紅色的嗎？

Are you the Doctors?

你們是醫生嗎？

You're what fun Doctors.

你是什麼有趣的醫生。

So fun Doctors.

如此有趣的醫生。

Your fun Doctors.

你的趣味醫生。

We all have Doctors.

我們都有醫生。

And were a lot of fun James.

而且是非常有趣的詹姆斯。

I love this.

我喜歡這個。

So hang on you all, you've got how many fun Doctors are there?

那麼，你們都堅持一下，你們有多少個有趣的醫生？

555 And you've all got denim jackets.

555 而你們都有牛仔夾克。

Yes.

是的。

Where are the other two Kimmel?

另外兩個Kimmel在哪裡？

The young ones are working and they bought them.

年輕的人在工作，他們買了。

The young ones are working.

年輕的人在工作。

They bought the jacket.

他們買了那件夾克。

You're just here for a damn good time.

你在這裡只是為了一個該死的好時機。

I love this.

我喜歡這個。

I know your actual Doctors.

我知道你們真正的醫生。

We are, nothing would make me more happy than turning up for a colonoscopy.

我們是，沒有什麼會比去做結腸鏡檢查更讓我高興。

We have ph.

我們有電話。

D.

D.

S.

S.

So we can't you know we can't perform a colonoscopy.

所以我們不能你知道我們不能進行結腸鏡檢查。

But we could you know we could try.

但我們可以，你知道我們可以嘗試。

We have you can be glad to see you after the show.

我們有你可以很高興在演出後見到你。

Well, let me bless you.

好吧，讓我祝福你。

Fun doctors.

有趣的醫生。

I am so thrilled that you're here.

我很高興你在這裡。

Thanks for coming.

謝謝你的到來。

Thanks to it.

感謝它。

You've lived in the moon of all of us.

你已經生活在我們所有人的月球裡。

It was a big political day here in America.

在美國，這是一個重要的政治日。

Five states went to the polls to vote in the primaries.

有五個州進入投票站進行初選投票。

Ah yeah.

啊，是的。

The excitement of midterm state primaries.

中期國家初選的興奮點。

Put the coffee on babe.

把咖啡放上，寶貝。

It's gonna be an all nighter.

這將是一個徹夜的工作。

Idaho Kentucky.

愛達荷州肯塔基州。

North Carolina Oregon and pennsylvania.

北卡羅來納州 俄勒岡州和賓夕法尼亞州。

All held primaries today which of course is news to the vast majority of people in Idaho Kentucky.

今天都舉行了初選，這對愛達荷州肯塔基州的絕大多數人來說當然是新聞。

North Carolina Oregon and pennsylvania.

北卡羅來納州 俄勒岡州和賓夕法尼亞州。

One of the most watched races is in pennsylvania.

最受關注的比賽之一是在賓夕法尼亞州。

Where Dr Oz is trying to win the Republican nomination for Senate.

在那裡，奧茲博士正試圖贏得共和黨的參議院提名。

My apologies to Dr Oz.

我向奧茲博士表示歉意。

I cannot cross party lines.

我不能跨越黨派界限。

I'm a doctor Phil guy through and through.

我是一個徹頭徹尾的菲爾醫生。

Vice President.

副總統。

Kamala Harris will deliver the commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy tomorrow.

卡馬拉-哈里斯將於明天在海岸警衛隊學院發表畢業演講。

Ah yeah the Coast Guard.

啊，是的，海岸警衛隊。

The mini marines.

小型海軍陸戰隊。

The old Navy.

舊的海軍。

Yeah the the Baywatch obviously sending in Carmel house makes sense.

是的，"守望先鋒 "顯然是在卡梅爾的房子裡發送的，這很合理。

It does.

它確實如此。

Compared to the Navy.

與海軍相比。

The Coast Guard is very much the Vice president of aquatic military branches isn't it?

海岸警衛隊在很大程度上是水上軍事部門的副總統，不是嗎？

The commencement is gonna be great.

畢業典禮會很精彩。

The theme of her Coast Guard speech will be helped.

她的海岸警衛隊演講的主題將是幫助。

Our administration is a sinking ship.

我們的政府是一艘沉沒的船。

Help us now.

現在就幫助我們。

And if you were going to give a commencement address, what kind of advice would you give if if you're gonna eat taco bell Get it in before you turn 30 because after that it's different.

如果你要在畢業典禮上講話，你會給什麼樣的建議，如果你要吃塔可鍾，在你30歲之前把它吃完，因為30歲之後就不一樣了。

Yeah, thank you.

是的，謝謝你。

You know that that is, you're absolutely right.

你知道那是，你是完全正確的。

It's it's no one's saying that it's all you got to speak truth to these people to the day.

它是它是沒有人說這是你的全部，對這些人說實話的日子。

It's to the day, it's to the day.

是到了這一天，是到了這一天。

Like if you go out on your 29th birthday and you have Taco Bell at 11 45 you're fine because you have 12 05.

就像如果你在29歲生日那天出去，在11點45分吃了塔可鍾，你就沒事了，因為你有12點05分。

That's the next three days for you.

這就是你未來三天的情況。

Yeah, it's a different thing.

是的，這是一個不同的事情。

It suddenly becomes a cry for help.

它突然變成了一種呼救。

I used to get Taco Bell to deal with hangovers and now when I eat the Taco bell to deal with drinking, I it feels like the cover up is worse than the crime in other news.

我以前吃塔可鍾來處理宿醉問題，現在當我吃塔可鍾來處理喝酒問題時，我它感覺掩蓋的情況比其他新聞中的犯罪更嚴重。

Tomorrow Queen Elizabeth will be hosting the second of three garden parties at Buckingham Palace but due to mobility issues, the queen will not be attending Also, it's her day to do the palace laundry.

明天伊麗莎白女王將在白金漢宮舉辦三個花園派對中的第二個，但由於行動不便，女王將不參加 另外，今天是她洗宮廷衣服的日子。

So it should be now for you americans that might be watching a royal garden party at Buckingham Palace is exactly what you think it is, Whatever is in your brain right now?

所以現在對於你們美國人來說，可能正在觀看白金漢宮的皇家花園派對，正是你們所認為的那樣，不管你現在腦子裡想的是什麼？

That's what it is.

這就是它的作用。

A typical Garden Party will host around 8000 guests with around 27,000 cups of tea, 20,000 sandwiches and 20,000 slices of cake served.

一個典型的花園派對將接待約8000名客人，提供約27000杯茶，20000個三明治和20000片蛋糕。

It's fun to show up and be like, Okay, that's enough for me.

出場時很有趣，就像，好吧，這對我來說已經足夠了。

What's everyone else gonna eat?

其他人要吃什麼？

Textbook garden party humor?

教科書式的花園聚會幽默？

No.

沒有。

And we've got to tell you about a new world record.

我們還得告訴你一個新的世界紀錄。

The Guinness Book of World Records has confirmed that Zeus, the great dane, is now the world's tallest dog.

金氏世界紀錄已經確認，大丹犬宙斯現在是世界上最高的狗。

Zeus lives in texas and stands over three ft five inches.

宙斯住在德克薩斯州，身高超過3英尺5英寸。

Here he is.

他在這裡。

Here, look at that big deal.

在這裡，看看那筆大買賣。

It's not a bulldog who can ride a skateboard.

這不是一隻會騎滑板的鬥牛犬。

I don't care if you see that photo again.

我不在乎你是否再看到那張照片。

It's truly a bizarre picture.

這確實是一幅詭異的畫面。

Not because not because the dog is so big, but because they've chosen to pose like they're on a blind date.

不是因為不是因為狗太大，而是因為他們選擇了像相親一樣的姿勢。

I just don't understand the thought of like we want to show everybody, let's be honest, let's call it what it is.

我只是不理解這種想法，就像我們想向大家展示，讓我們誠實，讓我們稱之為它是什麼。

It's a big dog, right?

它是一隻大狗，對嗎？

It's a big dog.

這是一隻大狗。

It's a world record holder.

這是一個世界紀錄保持者。

How should we do it?

我們應該如何做呢？

Put it on the couch.

把它放在沙發上。

None of this impresses me.

這一切都沒有給我留下印象。

None of it.

都沒有。

It doesn't.

它沒有。

I'm not impressed, but I watched the film the other day about a dog that was way bigger than that and it was red.

我沒有印象，但我前幾天看了一部電影，講的是一隻比它大得多的狗，它是紅色的。

And if I've said it once reg, I'll say it again.

如果我已經說過一次了，我還會再說一次。

The color of the dog is irrelevant.

狗的顏色並不重要。

It's irrelevant.

這是不相關的。

I'll never stop saying rob.

我永遠不會停止說搶劫。

Try and cut this out.

試著把這個切出來。

Watch what happens.

看看會發生什麼。

Yeah.

是的。

No, you got to get it out their film and the book should just be called Clifford.

不，你得把它從他們的電影中拿出來，這本書應該就叫《克利福德》。

The big dog parentheses is also read, but no one mentions it.

大狗的括號也是讀的，但沒有人提到它。

Mhm Oh, it's a dog.

嗯 哦，是隻狗。

Just knocked over my garage.

剛剛撞倒了我的車庫。

It's read, you know, irrelevant.

這是閱讀，你知道，無關緊要。

Boss man.

老闆娘。

And finally we wanted to show you this.

最後，我們想給你看這個。

The iconic noodle company cup noodles has introduced the limited edition makeup collection inspired by the warm tones of ramen noodle soup.

標誌性的麵條公司杯麵推出了限量版化妝系列，其靈感來自拉麵湯的溫暖色調。

Here it is.

在這裡，它是。

Here, look at that.

在這裡，看看這個。

Yeah, some of us are autumns, some of us are summers and some of us are pork broths, ramen noodle makeup.

是的，我們中有些人是秋天，有些人是夏天，有些人是豬肉湯，拉麵妝。

It's it's perfect for the look that says, I'm really struggling.

這是一個完美的表情，說明我真的在掙扎。

It's raw.

它是原始的。

It's ramen noodle man.

是拉麵人。

I'm in a dark place.

我在一個黑暗的地方。

Yeah, that's great.

是的，這很好。

The cup noodles makeup collection is out now and this comes as no surprise.

杯子面的化妝系列現在已經出來了，這並不奇怪。

It's exclusively available at soup aura.

它在soup aura獨家發售。

No, don't.

不，不要。

Do you know what that is?

你知道那是什麼嗎？

No, no, you know what that is?

不，不，你知道那是什麼嗎？

That's the joke that says, we're really struggling.

這是個笑話，說的是，我們真的在掙扎。

We'll be right back everybody.

我們馬上回來，各位。

Mm hmm.

嗯，嗯。

Alright, yeah, we did.

好吧，是的，我們做到了。

Who did it?

誰幹的？