I'm pear and I'm spider origin.

我是梨子，我是蜘蛛出身。

We dude, would you watch where you're swinging?

我們老兄，你能不能注意一下你揮舞的地方？

Sorry.

對不起。

Didn't mean the bug you?

不是說要打擾你嗎？

Well I'm glad to see you're excited for today's episode Orange.

好吧，我很高興看到你對今天的情節感到興奮，橙色。

Yeah you might say I'm really getting into the swing of things.

是的，你可以說我真的進入了事情的節奏。

I take it this means you did the required reading for today's episode for once.

我認為這意味著你為今天的節目做了一次必要的閱讀。

Yeah, it was too long.

是的，這太長了。

Dude, it's a comic book.

老兄，這是一本漫畫書。

Oh well in that case it had too many pictures.

哦，這樣的話，它有太多的照片。

You didn't even open it.

你甚至沒有打開它。

Did you know need pair?

你知道需要一對嗎？

I pretty much remember it from the first time I didn't read it as a kid.

我幾乎記得它是在我小時候第一次沒有讀到它的時候。

Yeah so what's the title?

是的，那麼標題是什麼？

The annoying spider man clothes but also way off.

惱人的蜘蛛人的衣服，但也很不對勁。

It's the amazing spider man.

這就是神奇的蜘蛛俠。

Yeah we'll see about that.

是的，我們將看到這一點。

Great.

很好。

Once upon a time there was a high school kid named Peter parker.

很久以前，有一個叫彼得-帕克的高中生。

Now he wasn't exactly the coolest or the biggest kid at school but he was super good at science.

現在，他並不是學校裡最酷或最大的孩子，但他的科學水準超強。

How am I doing so far pair?

到目前為止，我做得怎麼樣對嗎？

This is actually pretty spot on, told you I remembered it.

這其實是很到位的，告訴你我記住了。

My mind is a steel scrap.

我的思想是一個鋼鐵廢品。

Uh that's not how it.

呃，不是這樣的。

One day peter parker went to a science fair but there was no concession stand or anything so we got zip for hungry.

有一天，彼得-帕克去參加一個科學展，但沒有福利社或任何東西，所以我們餓了就買了拉鍊。

Finally he bit into a radioactive spider.

最後他咬到了一隻放射性的蜘蛛。

Come again.

再來吧。

It's been a radioactive spider.

它一直是一隻放射性的蜘蛛。

Okay that's what I thought you said.

好吧，我以為你是這麼說的。

See that's not exactly because the spider was radioactive Peter parker accrued the powers of the spider eight limbs, eight eyeballs the ability to scare people when the bathroom light comes on.

你看，這並不完全是因為蜘蛛是放射性的，彼得-帕克積累了蜘蛛的力量，八條肢體，八個眼球，當浴室的燈亮起時，有能力嚇唬人。

Yeah, I think we're gonna need to tap the brakes here.

是的，我認為我們需要在這裡踩下剎車。

Dude, those aren't the superpowers he got Well sure they are sure false Peter Parker got spider superpowers.

老兄，那些不是他得到的超能力 嗯，他們肯定是假的彼得-帕克得到了蜘蛛超能力。

Sure but not those powers.

當然，但不是那些權力。

He got all the cool ones.

他得到了所有很酷的東西。

I mean it's not like he suddenly started eating flies or something.

我的意思是，這並不像他突然開始吃蒼蠅或什麼。

That's where you're wrong mom pair.

這就是你錯誤的地方，媽媽對。

He did start eating flies by the full, full.

他確實開始吃蒼蠅了，吃得很飽。

No he didn't.

不，他沒有。

Why would he do that flies are a disgusting thing to eat pair.

他為什麼要這樣做，蒼蠅是一種令人厭惡的東西，要吃對。

We're talking about a guy who bit a spider.

我們談論的是一個咬了蜘蛛的人。

You really think he's gonna be grossed out by the thought of eating a fly.

你真的認為他會因為想到要吃蒼蠅而感到噁心。

Good point.

說得好。

Oh yeah.

哦，是的。

Now if you don't mind I will continue the list of spider powers that Peter Parker accrued.

現在如果你不介意的話，我將繼續列舉彼得-帕克所積累的蜘蛛能力。

He grew up thor X, he lost the ability to speak and most importantly he gave the ability to shoot spider webbing out of his but close enough I guess so he went out on the town shooting but webs all over the place, he wasn't great at first but he got into the swing of things soon enough.

他長大了索爾X，他失去了說話的能力，最重要的是他給了從他身上射出蜘蛛網的能力，但我想足夠接近了，所以他去鎮上射擊，但網到處都是，他一開始不是很好，但他很快進入了狀態。

Oh but here's the thing just as he gained the powers of a spider, he also gained the downsides of being a spider growing A thorax wasn't already a downside.

哦，但問題是，就像他獲得了蜘蛛的力量一樣，他也獲得了作為蜘蛛的缺點，長出一個胸膛還不算是缺點。

Of course not pair.

當然不是一對。

The thorax is a very important body part plus the ladies love it.

胸部是一個非常重要的身體部位，加上女士們的喜愛。

God great, sadly.

上帝偉大，可悲的是。

Peter parker got the bad spider stuff too like the ability to be easily trapped under a water glass.

彼得-帕克也得到了壞蜘蛛的東西，比如能夠輕易地被困於水杯之下。

This used to be one of my favorite origin stories also he lost the ability to speak, His brain shrunk to the size of a sesame seed and his lifespan reduced to approximately 1 to 2 years.

這曾經是我最喜歡的起源故事之一，他也失去了說話的能力，他的大腦縮小到芝麻大小，他的壽命減少到大約1到2年。

Dude, this is the worst superhero of all time.

老兄，這是有史以來最糟糕的超級英雄。

What do you want from me?

你想從我這裡得到什麼？

The guy could have been a radioactive nobel prize winner or something, but he opted for a dumb old spider actions have consequences pair with great power comes something, something, something.

這傢伙本來可以成為一個放射性的諾貝爾獎得主或其他東西，但他選擇了一個愚蠢的老蜘蛛行動有後果對與偉大的力量來的東西，東西，東西。

Listen, can we just get to the part where he fights bad guys please sure thing, there are no shortage of enemies and Peter Parker took them all on that spider man, there was a lizard, I think you mean the lizard?

聽著，我們能不能只說到他打壞人的部分，請肯定的是，不缺敵人，彼得-帕克把他們都放在那個蜘蛛人身上，有一隻蜥蜴，我想你是說蜥蜴？

Right?

對嗎？

Yeah, pretty sure it's just lizard.

是的，非常肯定的是，這只是蜥蜴。

Other enemies included chickens, Blueberry trout.

其他敵人包括雞、藍莓鱒魚。

Hold off, these aren't spider man villains, They're just natural predators of the spider.

等等，這些不是蜘蛛俠的惡棍，他們只是蜘蛛的自然掠奪者。

I know, don't worry pear, I got this blackbird gecko.

我知道，別擔心梨子，我有這個黑鳥壁虎。

Other spiders stop.

其他蜘蛛停下來。

Spider man did not swing around the city shooting webbing from his but battling the natural predators of the spider.

蜘蛛人並沒有在城市裡揮舞著手中的網線，而是與蜘蛛的天敵作戰。

Well sure he did just not for very long.

當然，他做了，只是時間不長。

Oh and why is that, are you gonna tell me?

哦，那是為什麼，你會告訴我嗎？

He got defeated by trout now?

他現在被鱒魚打敗了？

Although trump is a fearsome in formidable foe.

雖然特朗普是一個可怕的強大的敵人。

Spider man met his match when he got trapped underneath the water lab.

當蜘蛛人被困在水實驗室下面時，他遇到了他的對手。

Oh my gosh, a water class.

哦，我的天哪，一個水課。

Come on at least tell me his escape from the water glass was exciting.

來吧，至少告訴我他從水杯中逃脫的過程很刺激。

Not really.

並非如此。

He never escaped.

他從未逃過。

He was under there awhile and you know what I was saying earlier about a severely reduced lifespan.

他在下面呆了一段時間，你知道我之前說的嚴重縮短壽命的問題。

So that's it.

是以，就是這樣。

That's the entire story of the amazing spider man, yep.

這就是神奇的蜘蛛俠的全部故事，是的。

What may I ask was so amazing about a so called super hero who fought a trout got trapped under a glass and promptly died.

請允許我問一下，一個所謂的超級英雄與鱒魚搏鬥時被困於玻璃下並迅速死亡，這有什麼好驚訝的？

How on earth did he get the title of superhero?

他究竟是如何得到超級英雄的稱號的？

Anyway, you're right, pear.

無論如何，你是對的，梨子。

It defies logic.

這違背了邏輯。

I'll say it's incredible.

我會說這是不可思議的。

Exactly one might even say it's amazing.

確切地說，人們甚至可以說它是驚人的。

Oh my gosh, and it's a bird.

哦，我的天哪，而且是一隻鳥。

It's a plane.

這是一架飛機。

It's story time.

現在是故事時間。

Welcome fruit lovers.

歡迎水果愛好者。

I'm pear and joining me today for this very super episode is lou the tick I told you not to call me by my real name.

我是梨子，今天加入我這個非常超級的情節的是盧，我告訴你不要叫我的真名的嘀。

I'm pretty sure there's a bug in this room, dude, you are a bug in this room, You're right, quick.

我很確定這間屋子裡有一隻蟲子，夥計，你是這間屋子裡的一隻蟲子，你是對的，快。

Get rid of me, Get me over the head with this mallet.

擺脫我，用這個棒槌打我的頭。

Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.

是的，我不會這樣做。

But what I am going to do is tell the story of the greatest superhero of all time.

但我要做的是講述有史以來最偉大的超級英雄的故事。

The tick.

蜱蟲。

Um no superman.

嗯，沒有超人。

Gotcha, personally, I feel the tick is the greatest superhero ever, but maybe I'm just biased.

明白了，我個人覺得蜱蟲是有史以來最偉大的超級英雄，但也許我只是有偏見。

Yeah, you're probably related to him or something.

是的，你可能與他有親屬關係或什麼的。

Right, wow.

對了，哇。

Did you really just say that not politics are related pair, jeez Oh sorry.

你真的只是說，不是政治有關係的一對，天啊，對不起。

Yeah, we do happen to be second cousins thrice removed Anyway, let's go on with the story before I get really ticked off.

是的，我們確實碰巧是三代同堂的表兄弟。

All right thank I am once upon a time on a far away planet named Krypton.

好吧，感謝我曾經在一個遙遠的名為氪星的星球上。

A baby was born and hold up that baby Superman, you're telling me Superman from another planet.

一個嬰兒出生了，舉起那個嬰兒超人，你告訴我超人來自另一個星球。

He's an alien.

他是一個外星人。

Yeah, technically he's an alien.

是的，從技術上講他是一個外星人。

Whoa okay you have my attention but now you have my curiosity.

哇，好吧，你有我的注意力，但現在你有我的好奇心。

Why the heck did you not tell me the story was about aliens?

你為什麼不告訴我這個故事是關於外星人的？

Let me set up my wallet conspiracy really quick.

讓我快速設置我的錢包陰謀。

I'm gonna be able to help you.

我將能夠幫助你。

Big time.

大的時候。

Especially with all the stuff that the government doesn't want you to know.

特別是政府不想讓你知道的所有東西。

Great.

很好。

Anyway Superman's planet was destroyed but his parents managed to save him just in time by sending him to earth when he arrived everyone thought he was super rear because he was green and whose mucus right What now?

總之，超人的星球被摧毀了，但他的父母設法及時救了他，把他送到了地球，當他到達時，每個人都認為他是超級後方，因為他是綠色的，誰的粘液對現在？

Like most aliens, Superman probably had difficulty with the high nitrogen content of the atmosphere.

像大多數外星人一樣，超人可能對大氣中的高氮含量感到困難。

Care not to mention earth's gravity and temperature levels.

注意不要提到地球的重力和溫度水準。

Um Hello, I'd be curious to know with which our candy dialect.

呃......你好，我很想知道我們的糖果是用哪種方言。

Did he communicate and having Earthlings deal with the fact that Superman has to poop every 7.3 seconds.

他有沒有溝通，讓地球人處理超人每7.3秒就得拉一次的事實。

Hello?

喂？

None of this is in the story.

這些都不在故事中。

None of it.

都沒有。

No Superman isn't green.

不，超人不是綠色的。

He looks exactly like a human.

他看起來完全像一個人。

What?

什麼？

Yeah, he even got adopted by a human family in rural Kansas, they named him clark Kent.

是的，他甚至被堪薩斯州農村的一個人類家庭收養，他們給他取名克拉克-肯特。

You're kidding me pare this is wrong on every level Kansas, no alien would ever be able to survive in such close proximity.

你在開玩笑吧，這在任何層面上都是錯誤的，堪薩斯，沒有外星人能夠在如此近的距離內生存。

Took Horn.

拿到了喇叭。

That's why they make crop circles.

這就是他們製造麥田怪圈的原因。

They're desperate to eradicate cornfield corners.

他們不顧一切地要剷除玉米地的角落。

Like corners like their kryptonite.

像牆角一樣是他們的氪石。

Yeah.

是的。

Actually Kryptonite is superman's Kryptonite.

其實氪石是超人的氪石。

You're telling me Kryptonite is an actual thing.

你在告訴我氪石是一種真實的東西。

I was like, it was just like a metaphor and also the name of my favorite few doors down song.

我當時想，這就像一個隱喻，也是我最喜歡的幾門之隔的歌的名字。

Yes, it's a thing.

是的，這是個東西。

And Kryptonite weekends.

還有氪金的週末。

All of his superhuman abilities like X ray vision, super strength, Impenetrable skin and the ability to fly.

他所有的超人能力，如X射線視力、超級力量、堅韌不拔的皮膚和飛行能力。

Well, it's nice to know they did at least some research on real aliens.

好吧，很高興知道他們至少對真實的外星人做了一些研究。

What about his need to poop three seconds.

他需要大便三秒鐘呢。

House Kryptonite effect that it doesn't dote.

房屋氪金效應，它不喜歡。

Well I guess that makes sense.

嗯，我想這是有道理的。

When you gotta squeeze one, you gotta squeeze one.

當你要擠一擠的時候，你就得擠一擠。

No, I'm saying that isn't one of superman's abilities.

不，我是說這不是超人的能力之一。

He poops the same amount as a normal human.

他的大便量與正常人一樣。

I'm why are you laughing?

我是你為什麼笑？

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉。

It's just so ridiculous.

這實在是太荒謬了。

I've never heard a story that got basic facts about aliens this wrong before.

我從來沒有聽過一個故事，把關於外星人的基本事實搞錯得這麼厲害。

This is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life coming from you lou.

這是我一生中聽到的最瘋狂的故事，來自於你們。

That means a lot.

這意味著很多。

Anyway, Clark Kent grew up to become a reporter in the bustling city of metropolis where he disguised himself in order to fight crime without being recognized.

總之，克拉克-肯特長大後成為繁華都市中的一名記者，他在那裡偽裝自己，以便在不被認出的情況下打擊犯罪。

How do you disguise himself.

如何偽裝自己。

Well when trouble arose, he'd often duck into a phone booth, remove his glasses and emerge in his superman suit.

那麼當麻煩出現時，他經常躲進電話亭，摘下眼鏡，穿著超人服出現。

Wow.

哇。

Would you look at that?

你能看看這個嗎？

It's a bird.

這是隻鳥。

It's a plane.

這是一架飛機。

It's obviously clark Kent.

這顯然是克拉克-肯特。

Huh?

嗯？

I mean, come on, that's his disguise.

我的意思是，來吧，這是他的偽裝。

He just took off his glasses and suddenly everyone thought he was a totally different person.

他剛摘下眼鏡，突然間大家都認為他是一個完全不同的人。

Um Well yeah, that's how the story goes.

嗯嗯，是的，故事就是這樣的。

This makes no sense.

這毫無意義。

This story is so crazy.

這個故事太瘋狂了。

I don't have room for all my walt conspiracy.

我沒有空間容納我所有的華特陰謀。

All right.

好的。

I'm sorry lou I guess it was a mistake to introduce you to the concept of fiction like this I'll say and you want to know the most insane part of all this.

我很抱歉，我想向你介紹這樣的小說概念是個錯誤，我會說，你想知道這一切中最瘋狂的部分。

What's that superman suit?

那件超人服是什麼？

I mean, how does he use the bathroom and that thing you're telling me he's able to constantly get that thing off and on off and on off and on throughout the day.

我的意思是，他是如何使用衛生間和那個東西的，你告訴我，他能夠不斷地把那個東西弄下來，弄下來，弄下來，一整天都在弄。

Every 7.3 seconds low.

每7.3秒低。

I mean, I get he's superhuman.

我的意思是，我知道他是超人。

There's some feet that are simply too impossible even for the greatest superhero.

有一些腳，即使對最偉大的超級英雄來說也簡直太不可能了。

Hello Superman doesn't take his suit off every 7.3 seconds.

你好，超人並不是每隔7.3秒就脫掉他的衣服。

You mean he just goes inside the suit?

你是說他只是進入了衣服裡面？

I thought this was for kids bear.

我以為這是給孩子們的熊。

What a gross terrible story.

這是一個多麼可怕的故事。

Please tell me that then.

請告訴我，然後。

Sure, that's probably as good of a place to stop as any.

當然，這可能是一個很好的地方，可以停下來。

Sorry lou won't happen again.

對不起，我不會再發生了。

I should hope not geez.

我希望不是這樣，天哪。

Louise.

露易絲。

Superman.

超人。

More like a pooper man enough.

更像是一個拉屎的人，足夠了。

Low.

低。

Hey.

嘿。

For lovers and welcome to story time.

為戀人，歡迎來到故事時間。

I'm orange and I'm cece.

我是橙色，我是cece。

Whoa.

哇哦。

I usually do these with pair.

我通常用對子做這些。

Well, apparently not today.

嗯，顯然不是今天。

What happened did he call in sex?

發生了什麼事他叫來了性？

Yeah.

是的。

Sick of you.

厭倦了你。

Now, what's today's story?

現在，今天的故事是什麼？

I totally didn't read it.

我完全沒有讀過它。

Wow.

哇。

Well I didn't read it either.

好吧，我也沒有讀過它。

That's usually pairs job.

這通常是對的工作。

But today we're telling the story of batman.

但今天我們要講述的是蝙蝠俠的故事。

I don't know that story very well, but I sure, do you know the theme song man?

我不太瞭解這個故事，但我肯定，你知道主題曲的人嗎？

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

Let's just bat wing it the best we can.

讓我們盡我們所能，為它打上翅膀。

Okay, so one thing I do know is that batman's real name is Bruce wayne.

好吧，所以我知道的一件事是，蝙蝠俠的真名是布魯斯-韋恩。

Why does he have two first names?

為什麼他有兩個名字？

I don't know.

我不知道。

Probably the same reason his superhero name is to mammals.

可能與他的超級英雄名字對哺乳動物的原因相同。

Anyway, what I don't remember is the name of the city he lives in Gothic city, Gothic bold century Gothic.

總之，我不記得的是他所居住的城市的名字哥特式城市，哥特式大膽的世紀哥特式。

Pretty sure those are font.

很確定這些是字體。

Gotham City city.

高譚市的城市。

Yeah, that's, it sounds like the kind of place that has a hot topic on every corner.

是的，這，這聽起來像是那種每個角落都有一個熱門話題的地方。

That's exactly the kind of place it is.

這正是這種地方。

And one day when young brucie muk.

有一天，當年輕的Brucie Muk.

First two names and his Brazilian air parents were leaving one of God's cities numerous hot topic locations.

前兩個名字和他的巴西航空父母正在離開上帝的一個城市眾多熱門話題地點。

His parents got murdered.

他的父母被謀殺了。

Whoa, Who killed him.

哇，誰殺了他。

I don't know.

我不知道。

I'm pretty sure it was that right.

我很確定是這樣沒錯。

Fat man.

胖子。

Well that almost makes too much sense.

嗯，這幾乎是太有意義了。

But hold on.

但請稍等。

Why were his parents so rich?

為什麼他的父母如此富有？

Well, you know how bat poop is like really expensive.