Absolutely awful guy.

絕對可怕的傢伙。

Dismal, Intolerable and basic and low intellect more additional tube.

慘不忍睹，無法忍受，基本和低智商的人更多的附加管。

Put it on my gravestone.

把它放在我的墓碑上。

A basic and low intellect british Youtuber.

一個基本的、低智商的英國Youtuber。

No sentence has summarized me better than that.

沒有哪句話比這句話更能概括我。

So it turns out a lot of people on amazon hate me.

所以事實證明，亞馬遜上有很多人討厭我。

Like really hate me.

就像真的討厭我一樣。

And in this video I'm going to explain why that is and also weirdly why I agree with them.

在這段視頻中，我將解釋為什麼會這樣，而且奇怪的是，我也同意他們的觀點。

I hate myself too.

我也恨我自己。

I know a great little ramen shop around the corner.

我知道拐角處有一家很棒的小拉麵店。

I'll meet you there and explain why in a minute.

我將在那裡和你見面，並在一分鐘內解釋原因。

But there is one comment I do disagree with and it's the one where the word youtuber is in quotation marks as if there's some sort of reasonable doubt that I am a Youtuber.

但有一條評論我確實不同意，那就是youtuber這個詞被加了引號，好像對我是一個Youtuber有某種合理的懷疑。

I mean we cleared that up years ago, didn't we?

我的意思是，我們幾年前就把這個問題解決了，不是嗎？

Are you Youtube are Yeah.

你是Youtube的嗎？

Mm delicious.

嗯，很好吃。

Give me my Oscar So there are some videos I've made or presented over the years that I can't watch videos where I would rather stuff my fingers into a blender than sit down and hit the play button today.

把我的奧斯卡獎給我吧！所以，這些年來我製作或展示的一些視頻，我不能看的視頻，我寧願把手指塞進攪拌機，也不願坐下來按下今天的播放鍵。

I'm gonna talk about one of those videos.

我要談一談其中一個視頻。

It's not a video that I made.

這不是我做的一個視頻。

It's a documentary that I presented back a few years ago, but one that continues to haunt me to this day no matter how much I tried to forget about this every other day.

這是我幾年前提出的一部紀錄片，但無論我如何努力忘掉這件事，它至今仍在困擾著我。

I received a message from a viewer somewhere in an exotic land like Sweden or new Zealand who switched on the tv and see me in a room full of cats asking me what on earth's going on, why am I doing that chris, I was flying on an Emirates flight and I watched you feed half a dozen cats on the in flight entertainment.

我收到一條來自瑞典或紐西蘭等異國他鄉的觀眾的資訊，他打開電視，看到我在一個滿是貓的房間裡，問我到底發生了什麼，為什麼我在做那個克里斯，我正在乘坐阿聯酋航空的班機，我看著你在飛行娛樂中餵了半打貓。

How did this happen?

這怎麼會發生呢？

Honestly imagining someone flying over the Himalayas watching me struggle to stroke a cat on in flight entertainment brings me immense joy.

說實話，想象有人飛越喜馬拉雅山，看著我在飛行娛樂中艱難地撫摸一隻貓，會給我帶來無限的快樂。

But let's talk about one of my greatest failures.

但讓我們來談談我最大的失敗之一。

Let's talk about the time I absolutely failed to present a documentary called Cat Nation.

讓我們來談談我在介紹一部名為《貓族》的紀錄片時絕對失敗。

This is pure cat craziness guided by a bewildered british guy.

這是由一個困惑的英國人引導的純粹的貓的瘋狂。

This is a refresher that smells like a cat's forehead cancelation was a documentary are presented back in 2016 that was released in 2017 exploring japan's cat obsessed culture.

這是一個進修，聞起來像貓的額頭取消是一個紀錄片是早在2016年提出的，在2017年被釋放，探索日本的貓迷戀文化。

Uh, and why the japanese love cats so damn much.

呃，還有為什麼日本人這麼喜歡貓。

And we went to some pretty unique places throughout the documentary including an office where you can bring your cat into work a train station with a cat stationmaster.

在整個紀錄片中，我們去了一些非常獨特的地方，包括一個辦公室，你可以把你的貓帶去工作，一個有貓站長的火車站。

It's just a cat with the hat is very clever, very lucrative as well as we'll discover.

這只是一隻帶著帽子的貓，非常聰明，也非常有利可圖，我們會發現。

Also the cat office might sound good on paper, like a little bit of fun, isn't it, bringing in your cat bringing mr cuddles.

另外，貓咪辦公室可能在紙面上聽起來不錯，就像一個小的樂趣，不是嗎，把你的貓咪帶進來給先生抱抱。

But the reality is inside the office outside the back of every computer.

但現實是在辦公室內，在每臺電腦的後面。

The cables were just chewed in half and cats were literally just strolling over the keyboard where people were trying to work and the whole place smell like one great big toilet.

電纜被咬成兩半，貓在人們試圖工作的鍵盤上漫步，整個地方聞起來像一個巨大的廁所。

Now, the first thing I need to say about Cat nation is it's actually really well shot and directed and everyone thinks I was involved in that.

現在，我需要說的關於《貓國》的第一件事是，它實際上是非常好的拍攝和導演，每個人都認為我參與了這個。

I wasn't.

我沒有。

I just presented it.

我只是提出來。

It was actually produced and directed by a guy called Tim is from Australia.

它實際上是由一個叫蒂姆的人制作和導演的，他來自澳洲。

He did a great job finding the interviews, finding the locations and producing a really slick documentary on a decent budget and in terms of sales, clearly it did very well because it's on tv networks around the world.

他在尋找採訪、尋找地點方面做得很好，並以適當的預算製作了一部非常漂亮的紀錄片，就銷售而言，顯然它做得非常好，因為它在世界各地的電視網絡上播出。

It's on amazon prime, it's on Emirates.

它在亞馬遜黃金時段，它在阿聯酋航空。

Well done tim.

幹得好，蒂姆。

I wish I'd taken a cut of the sales.

我希望我從銷售中抽成。

Why did I do that buck?

我為什麼要這樣做呢？

But I do have one big gaping criticism of Cat Nation and that is the presenter which is me.

但我確實對《貓族》有一個很大的責備，那就是主持者，也就是我。

So now you know that this is the most cat focused documentary ever committed to video.

所以現在你知道，這是有史以來最關注貓的紀錄片。

It's important to point out, I'm not a big cat person, I like that.

需要指出的是，我不是一個大貓的人，我喜歡這樣。

So I don't dislike them.

所以我並不討厭他們。

I think they're cute and fun and awesome, but I don't really go out of my way to do anything cat related and I've never bought any cat merchandise apart from the Alright, I realized there's a big Manekin Echo, lucky cat over my shoulder, my favorite neon light in the studio.

我認為他們很可愛，很有趣，很了不起，但我並沒有真正去做與貓有關的事情，除了《好吧》，我從來沒有買過任何貓的商品，我意識到有一個大的馬內金回聲，幸運貓在我的肩膀上，我最喜歡的霓虹燈在工作室裡。

But apart from that and the puppet cat mister snuggles from years ago.

但除了這一點和多年前的木偶貓先生的依偎之外。

Apart from those two examples, I've never bought anything cat related.

除了這兩個例子之外，我從來沒有買過與貓有關的東西。

And one reason is that I have a cat allergy.

而其中一個原因是我對貓過敏。

So if I touch a cat makes my handle itchy, I get a bit sniffy li it's not really fun.

是以，如果我觸摸一隻貓使我的手柄發癢，我就會有點嗅澺，這並不有趣。

So I've always kept my distance from cats, something that's painfully obvious in the documentary.

所以我一直與貓保持距離，這在紀錄片中是非常明顯的。

All right, so right now, you're probably thinking, wait a minute, you're not really into cats, You have a cat allergy, You certainly can't stroke a cat.

好吧，那麼現在，你可能在想，等一下，你不是真的喜歡貓，你對貓過敏，你肯定不能撫摸一隻貓。

Why in the world of fuck did you choose to present the documentary exclusively about cat Rewind to 2016 when the documentary was filmed and I just started doing YouTube full time.

你他媽的為什麼選擇專門介紹貓咪的紀錄片，倒退到2016年，當時拍攝紀錄片的時候，我剛剛開始全職做YouTube。

It was a very scary make or break year 2016 I had no money.

那是一個非常可怕的成敗之年，2016年我沒有錢。

I had to take out a bank loan of like £10,000 to sort of survive and get through it.

我不得不向銀行貸款10,000英鎊，以便生存和度過難關。

And it was a sort of poker chips all in sort of situation and the future looked a little bit bleak.

這是一種撲克牌籌碼全在的情況，未來看起來有點暗淡。

I think there was like 100,000 subscribers, but it wasn't that much to survive off in terms of that revenue.

我想大概有10萬個用戶，但就那筆收入而言，並沒有那麼多錢可以生存。

You know, if somebody walked up to me and thrown down 500 yen coin and said, dance motherfucker, I would have danced and I would've got the 500 yen and had a hamburger with all that in mind when I received an email out the blue from this Australian field director.

你知道，如果有人走到我面前，扔下500日元硬幣說，跳舞吧，混蛋，我就會跳舞，我就會拿著這500日元，吃一個漢堡包，當我收到這個澳洲外地主任突然發來的電子郵件時，我就會想到這一切。

He was like, hey there chris, I like abroad Japan doing a documentary about cats and I'm thinking you'd be great to present it.

他說，嘿，克里斯，我喜歡在國外日本做一部關於貓的紀錄片，我想你會是很好的主持人。

I was like okay, this is a cool opportunity.

我當時想，好吧，這是個很酷的機會。

I did say, I'm not sure, I'm really the right man for the job on this.

我確實說過，我不確定，我真的是這個工作的合適人選。

There's lots of loggers in Japan that do you like cats?

在日本有很多伐木工人，你喜歡貓嗎？

And tim was very kind, he sort of said I want the british, sarcastic, cynical persona to contrast with the craziness of the cat culture.

蒂姆非常好心，他說我想要一個英國人的、諷刺的、憤世嫉俗的角色，與貓文化的瘋狂形成對比。

And I said well yeah and I've also, I've got the looks as well and he went, yeah, no, inevitably the subject of money came up and I was like well there will there be any any money involved in this?

我說，是的，我也有，我也有長相，他說，是的，不，不可避免地談到了錢的問題，我說，這裡面會有任何錢嗎？

And he said, oh yeah man, I think we got a little bit of budget and I was like well fucking love cats, what are we waiting for?

他說，哦，是的，夥計，我想我們有一點預算，我當時想，好他媽的愛貓，我們還等什麼？

Let's go.

我們走吧。

The main thing I was worried about was the presentation style And back in 2016 I wasn't a good presenter, I'm not a good presenter now.

我主要擔心的是演講風格 而在2016年時，我並不是一個好的主持人，現在也不是一個好的主持人。

But back then I wasn't confident like sitting in front of a camera stand in front of a camera talking about things presenting on tv is very different to youtube on Youtube.

但那時我並不自信，就像坐在攝影機前站著談事情一樣，在電視上介紹情況與在Youtube上介紹情況是非常不同的。

I think it's more authentic, you actually just listening to someone talk about their actual opinions, it's like listening to a friend, but because this was a documentary and I knew the viewers wouldn't know who I was, I felt really conflicted on how to present it and I think Tim just wanted me to be the usual, sneering, sarcastic monster that I am, that kind of persona, but I felt like it wasn't going to really work, I wanted to tone it down, I wanted to be more boring and less opinionated, I felt like people wouldn't appreciate it if I just sort of walked into a room and when it's a cat with a hat on like dr Zeus isn't it?

我認為這更真實，你實際上只是在聽一個人談論他們的真實意見，就像在聽一個朋友說話，但因為這是一部紀錄片，我知道觀眾不會知道我是誰，我對如何表現它感到非常矛盾，我認為蒂姆只是想讓我成為一個平常的。我想蒂姆只是想讓我成為一個通常的、冷笑的、諷刺的怪物，那種角色，但我覺得這不會真正起作用，我想淡化它，我想變得更無聊，不那麼有主見，我覺得如果我只是走進一個房間，當它是一隻戴著帽子的貓時，人們不會欣賞它，不是嗎？

At the same time, I could understand what tim was going for, It wouldn't have been interesting if the person had gone in being overly enthusiastic, who wants to watch someone going around Japan going, oh my God, is that a jumper for a cat?

同時，我可以理解蒂姆的目的，如果這個人去的時候過於熱情，那就沒有什麼意思了，誰願意看一個人在日本到處跑，哦，我的上帝，那是一隻貓的跳板嗎？

That's amazing, no way, is that 500 cats in the stroller, So incredible!

太神奇了，不可能，嬰兒車裡有500只貓，太不可思議了!

Oh my God, is that a cat with a hat, I'm going to have a stroke, but it wasn't the producer or the director, I was just the guy who got paid to turn up and present it, so I shut up and got on with it and when ha ha, it's a stroller full of cats in it, that's weird, So strange, Japan, Sukhoi and unsurprisingly, most of the negative reviews revolve around that presentation style, hence the basic and low intellect british, youtuber now, allegedly in the documentary, I say the words, creepy, crazy weird quite a lot, as I said, I haven't really watched the documentary back, I can't bring myself to do it, but it seems that I didn't appreciate Japan's cat culture enough and yet, I don't know, maybe it is a bit weird and creepy, putting a hat on a cat and making it work at a train station surrounded by people all day, taking flash photos and shouting loudly.

哦，我的上帝，那是一隻戴著帽子的貓嗎，我要中風了，但這不是製片人或導演，我只是一個得到報酬的人，轉而展示它，所以我閉嘴，繼續它，當哈哈，這是一個嬰兒車，裡面裝滿了貓，這很奇怪，這麼奇怪，日本，蘇霍伊，毫不奇怪，大多數負面評論圍繞著這種演示風格，是以現在基本和低智力的英國人，尤特布爾。據稱，在紀錄片中，我說了相當多的詞，令人毛骨悚然，瘋狂怪異，正如我說的，我還沒有真正把紀錄片看回去，我不能讓自己這樣做，但似乎我沒有足夠欣賞日本的貓文化，然而，我不知道，也許這有點奇怪，令人毛骨悚然，給貓戴上帽子，讓它在火車站

Maybe objectively.

也許是客觀的。

There is a little bit creepy and an odd, but apparently what I should have done when I saw the cat with the hat on, I should have gone, oh my God, It's a cat with a hat.

有一點令人毛骨悚然和奇怪，但顯然，當我看到戴著帽子的貓時，我應該做的是，哦，我的上帝，這是一隻戴帽子的貓。

There is a train station in Japan where the cat, where's your hat?

日本有一個火車站，那裡的貓，你的帽子呢？

This is the essence of what makes Japan so great.

這就是日本之所以如此偉大的精髓所在。

It is a culturally significant phenomenon that dates back 15 years.

這是一個具有文化意義的現象，可以追溯到15年前。

Or how about the scene where I drank some cat wines, literally some like wine for cats and it's essentially sugar water mixed with paint stripper and just sh it and it was awful.

或者我喝了一些貓酒的場景如何，從字面上看是一些像貓用的酒，它基本上是糖水與脫漆劑混合在一起，只是涮了一下，很糟糕。

I spat it out.

我把它吐了出來。

I wasn't respectful to the culture enough.

我對文化不夠尊重。

I should have loved the cat wine like never before.

我應該前所未有地熱愛貓酒。

How about the cats air freshener?

貓咪的空氣清新劑怎麼樣？

Right?

對嗎？

There was some air freshener in the video that smelled like a cat's forehead and I had a sniff like it smelled honestly, it smells like sandpaper mixed with a special sauce.

視頻裡有一些空氣清新劑，聞起來像貓的額頭，我聞了一下，說實話，它聞起來像砂紙和特殊醬料混合在一起。

And I had, I went, oh, that's a bit weird and people like, oh doesn't respect the Japanese traditions.

而我，我去了，哦，這有點奇怪，人們喜歡，哦，不尊重日本的傳統。

Cat air freshener dates back 3000 years.

貓的空氣清新劑可以追溯到3000年前。

Fuck me.

操我。

Honestly, it was crazy.

說實話，這很瘋狂。

It was wacky.

這很古怪。

I know I used the words too much, but it was legitimately ridiculous and I can't sugarcoat that.

我知道我用了太多的詞，但這是合法的荒謬，我不能掩飾這一點。

What about the stroller?

那嬰兒車呢？

Right in one scene there's a guy who goes through Harajuku with a stroller stuffed full of cats.

就在一個場景中，有一個人帶著一輛塞滿貓的嬰兒車穿過原宿。

There must have been 567 cats in that stroller and it is a little bit sinister, I did say, oh, that's weird, that's a bit creepy and odd.

那輛嬰兒車裡肯定有567只貓，而且有點陰險，我確實說過，哦，這很奇怪，有點令人毛骨悚然的怪事。

Again, disrespectful to japanese culture.

同樣，這是對日本文化的不尊重。

What I should have done is go, well, cats of Japan like to be pushed around Harajuku all day suffocating as their owner pushes them around a tradition that dates back before the beginning of time itself.

我應該做的是，好吧，日本的貓喜歡整天被主人推著在原宿轉悠，讓人窒息，這種傳統可以追溯到時間開始之前。

I can't defend the indefensible, I can't defend my presenting, it is awful and I am to blame for that partly.

我不能為無法辯解的事情辯護，我不能為我的演講辯護，它是可怕的，我對此負有部分責任。

But again, I don't feel I was the right man for the job on this.

但是，我再次覺得我不是這個工作的合適人選。

My main takeaway from this is never hire a presenter who is genuinely interested or passionate about the topic they're covering in a documentary or video, right?

我從中得到的主要啟示是，永遠不要僱用一個對他們在紀錄片或視頻中所涉及的主題真正感興趣或充滿激情的主持人，對嗎？

That lack of enthusiasm, it really comes through the screen, I think, and I feel bad for people around the world sitting down who love cats and just want to see, you know, some cats get pushed around or a cat in the hat, you know, I get it, you want to enjoy the cats and not see a guy with a dismal and intolerable personality being a bit snarky and a bit sarcastic, I completely get it and since then I've avoided doing like a lot of tv stuff.

這種缺乏熱情，它真的通過螢幕表現出來，我想，我為全世界坐在下面喜歡貓的人感到難過，他們只想看到，你知道，一些貓被推來推去，或者一隻貓在帽子裡，你知道，我明白，你想享受貓，而不是看到一個性格淒涼、無法容忍的人有點尖酸刻薄，我完全明白，從那時起，我就避免做像很多電視的事情。

I've been on tv a few times.

我已經上過幾次電視了。

It's never really fun.

這從來沒有真正的樂趣。

You can't be yourself seriously until someone comes up to me and proposes a documentary called fried chicken Nation.

在有人向我提議拍攝一部名為《炸雞國度》的紀錄片之前，你不可能認真做自己。

I'll stay the hell away from presenting a tv show ever again.

我將遠離地獄，再也不做電視節目的主持人。

This wasn't like a clever ruse by the way to get you to watch Cat Nation, even though a lot of people have enjoyed it.

這不像是一個巧妙的詭計，順便讓你看《貓族》，儘管很多人都喜歡它。

I think if you've seen abroad in Japan and know what to expect that it's watchable and it's not the worst thing I've ever done.

我認為，如果你在日本看過國外的作品，知道該怎麼做，那就可以看，這不是我做過的最糟糕的事情。

Maybe I'll talk about that in a future episode if I can bring myself to talk about it.

也許我會在未來的節目中談及這個問題，如果我可以讓自己談及這個問題。

But also another criticism of the documentary is that I have a weird choice of clothes.

但也有另一個對紀錄片的責備是，我的衣服選擇很奇怪。

It does honestly look like I've rummaged through a bin bag, just pulled out the first thing I found and worn it.

說實話，它看起來確實像我翻遍了一個垃圾袋，只是把我找到的第一件東西拿出來，然後穿上它。

I've come a long way since then of course now I'm the king of drip, I've got the most trip on the cheap, more drift than the river Nile don't say a word, but thank you for watching guys.

從那時起，我已經走過了很長的路，當然現在我是滴水不漏的國王，我的行程最便宜，比尼羅河的漂流更多，不要說一個字，但謝謝你們的觀看。

I'll be back in the next few days for the next episode of the 12 days of christmas and I hope you're having a great start to the christmas season so far if you don't mind me, I'm getting back to eating my imaginary ramen goodbye.

我將在接下來的幾天裡為大家帶來《聖誕節12天》的下一集，我希望大家在聖誕節期間有一個良好的開端，到目前為止，如果你不介意的話，我正在回去吃我想象中的拉麵再見。